# Clerks Fans: Post Your Favorite Line From the Film-Possible (I Mean Likely) Profanity **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 7, 2005, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerks-fans-post-your-favorite-line-from-the-film-possible-i-mean-likely-profanity/283584 "2005-01-07T16:27:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2005, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerks-fans-post-your-favorite-line-from-the-film-possible-i-mean-likely-profanity/283584/41 "2005-01-08T19:27:54Z")
Leonardo Leonardo: Too long has Osgood hardware been a thorn in my side! Man on Phone: We don’t have to talk about the matrix, we can talk about other things. Movies, girls…the matrix. ---
**Author:** ![look\_ninjas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@look\_ninjas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/look_ninjas)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2005, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerks-fans-post-your-favorite-line-from-the-film-possible-i-mean-likely-profanity/283584/42 "2005-01-09T01:25:56Z")
Dante: Hey, you got any balls down there? Jay: Biggest pair you ever seen, Dingleberry! - Dante: You’re a danger to both the dead and the living. - Randal: I think you can see her kidneys (from the cartoon) Steve-Dave: Will this administration ever bring the Hamburglar to justice? - Charles Barkley: That’s cold, Obi-Wan. - Dante: You threatened the President? Randal: Not today. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2005, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerks-fans-post-your-favorite-line-from-the-film-possible-i-mean-likely-profanity/283584/43 "2005-01-09T02:01:49Z")
Dante: I told you to get out of here, Barkley! ---
**Author:** ![TheOnlySaneOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@TheOnlySaneOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheOnlySaneOne)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2005, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerks-fans-post-your-favorite-line-from-the-film-possible-i-mean-likely-profanity/283584/44 "2005-01-09T04:34:36Z")
Cartoon Randall: Is this some kind of gay thing? Leonardo Leonardo: No. Randall: You’re sure? LL: …Yeeeeeeessss. Cartoon Jay: That looks like a huge bong! [watches a dog walk by] Hey, that looks like a bong, too! Jay: Man, I wish I had a lightsaber. I’d be all SWHOONSHWOON! SHWOONSHWOONSHOON! WOOOAHJEDI! Slice open Tubby here and keep warm for the night. Jay: I’m Jay. Silent Bob: And I’m Silent Bob. Charles Barkley: And I’m Charles Barkley! Jay: Didn’t we tell you to get out of here?! ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2005, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerks-fans-post-your-favorite-line-from-the-film-possible-i-mean-likely-profanity/283584/45 "2005-01-09T11:43:22Z")
So, is anyone else looking forward to Kevin Smith’s stint on Degrassi: The Next Generation? He gets to make out with Stacie Mystisisin, who plays Caitlin. ---
**Author:** ![FisherQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@FisherQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FisherQueen)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2005, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerks-fans-post-your-favorite-line-from-the-film-possible-i-mean-likely-profanity/283584/46 "2005-01-09T12:54:58Z")
“Nothing can kill the Grimace.” ---
**Author:** ![Alias](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e4f/32.png) [@Alias](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alias)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2005, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerks-fans-post-your-favorite-line-from-the-film-possible-i-mean-likely-profanity/283584/47 "2005-01-09T15:56:59Z")
Cartoon Jay: A guy with the realest beard I ever saw set another guy on fire, and Bob Saget made a wicked joke at their expense. ---
**Author:** ![Alias](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e4f/32.png) [@Alias](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alias)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2005, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerks-fans-post-your-favorite-line-from-the-film-possible-i-mean-likely-profanity/283584/48 "2005-01-09T15:58:23Z")
> [@Alias](#): > > Cartoon Jay: A guy with the realest beard I ever saw set another guy on fire, and Bob Saget made a wicked joke at their expense. OOPS, I mean Alan Thicke made a wicked joke at their expense. :smack: stupid stupid stupid. . . ---
**Author:** ![cbawlmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cbawlmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cbawlmer)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2005, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerks-fans-post-your-favorite-line-from-the-film-possible-i-mean-likely-profanity/283584/49 "2005-01-09T16:18:51Z")
From the cartoon: Jay: I wanna get in line for that Caitlin chick’s kissing booth. Dante Hicks: What? Caitlin has a kissing booth, like for charity? Jay: Yeah, only it don’t cost nothing, and it’s not for charity… and there’s no booth… and it’s more than just kissing… and you don’t have to be a guy… Dude, she’s cheating on you. And I second the love for :“Ooh, Mini-trucker Magazine!” ---
**Author:** ![Flipstrip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f6c823/32.png) [@Flipstrip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flipstrip)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2005, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerks-fans-post-your-favorite-line-from-the-film-possible-i-mean-likely-profanity/283584/50 "2005-01-09T18:55:16Z")
Forgot this one from the cartoon: “So much for Dante and Caitlin Two, Electric Boogaloo.” ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2005, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerks-fans-post-your-favorite-line-from-the-film-possible-i-mean-likely-profanity/283584/51 "2005-01-09T20:01:11Z")
_looking at a monkey in a cage_ Randal Graves: See, I scared him. He’s shaking. Dante Hicks: No, he’s masturbating. Randal Graves: Yeah, but it’s out of fear. Dante Hicks: Boy, it wasn’t until years later that we found out what “fag” REALLY meant. Right, “mate”? Randal Graves: You’re a fag. Dante Hicks: No, a fag’s a cigarette, remember? Randal Graves: You’re a cigarette. ---
**Author:** ![TheOnlySaneOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@TheOnlySaneOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheOnlySaneOne)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2005, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerks-fans-post-your-favorite-line-from-the-film-possible-i-mean-likely-profanity/283584/52 "2005-01-09T20:49:23Z")
> [@HPL](#): > > Dante Hicks: Boy, it wasn’t until years later that we found out what “fag” REALLY meant. Right, “mate”? > Randal Graves: You’re a fag. > Dante Hicks: No, a fag’s a cigarette, remember? > Randal Graves: You’re a cigarette. I can’t believe it took until the second page for someone to remember that one. Especially since it used to be the ‘catchquote’ for my class. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clerks-fans-post-your-favorite-line-from-the-film-possible-i-mean-likely-profanity/283584.md?page=2)