# Clever (and not so clever) rhymes in songs **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 12, 2016, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-and-not-so-clever-rhymes-in-songs/762588 "2016-08-12T18:49:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![pmwgreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@pmwgreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pmwgreen)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2016, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-and-not-so-clever-rhymes-in-songs/762588/61 "2016-08-15T04:36:12Z")
Porcelain Monkey \*He was an accident waiting to happen Most accidents happen at home Maybe he should have gone out more often Maybe he should have answered the phone Hip-shakin’ shoutin’ in gold lame That’s how he earned his regal sobriquet Then he threw it all away For a porcelain monkey\* I miss Warren Zevon. ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2016, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-and-not-so-clever-rhymes-in-songs/762588/62 "2016-08-15T05:32:59Z")
More Cole Porter: Let’s Misbehave: > [@](#): > > When Adam won Eve’s hand > He wouldn’t stand for teasin’. > He didn’t care about those apples out of season. > > They say that Spring > means just one thing to little lovebirds > We’re not above birds > Let’s misbehave!!! Always True to You in My Fashion: > [@](#): > > Mister Harris, plutocrat, > Wants to give my cheek a pat, > If the Harris pat, > Means a Paris hat, bébé! Anything Goes: > [@](#): > > Good authors too who once knew better words > Now only use four-letter words > Writing prose. > Anything goes. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2016, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-and-not-so-clever-rhymes-in-songs/762588/63 "2016-08-15T09:27:53Z")
\*You make wine from sour grapes! Ya got a flat pancake? Hey! Call it a crepe! When life gives you eggs, make an omelette! You get cola from a nut, A dirty worm makes silk from out of his butt, When life gives you eggs, make an omelette! Omelette! The solution to your troubles Is cheese and ve-ge-ta-bles And bacon Make an Omelette, Yeah! When it looks like you should quit, Find another way of lookin’ at it! When life gives you eggs, make an omelette!\* “Something Rotten/Omelette” from “Something Rotten” ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2016, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-and-not-so-clever-rhymes-in-songs/762588/64 "2016-08-15T10:01:14Z")
Also from “Something Rotten,” Will Shakespeare laments how “It’s Hard to be the Bard”: _You see, What people just don’t understand is that Writing’s demanding, It’s mentally challenging And it’s a bore, It’s such a chore To sit in the room by yourself (Oh my God, how I hate it!) And you’re trying to find An opening line, or a brilliant idea And you’re pacing the floor And you’re hoping for – just a BIT of Divine intervention! That one little nugget; that one little spark, Then Eureka! You’ve found it! You’re ready to start! So now you can write, right? WRONG! You’re not even close, you remember that dammit, your Play’s got to be in iambic pentameter!_ ---
**Author:** ![Mavic\_Chen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e56c9b/32.png) [@Mavic\_Chen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mavic_Chen)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2016, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-and-not-so-clever-rhymes-in-songs/762588/65 "2016-08-15T12:04:55Z")
The Macc Lads managed to somehow rhyme the words “menstrual cycle” in “Gods Gift to Women”: -She said I was good looking, and I looked a bit like George Michael -But she didn’t want a f@@ing she was on her menstrual cycle And of course the rhyme-meister-par-excellence of Toto’s “Africa”: -The wild dogs cry out in the night -As they grow restless, longing for some solitary company -I know that I must do what’s right -As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2016, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-and-not-so-clever-rhymes-in-songs/762588/66 "2016-08-15T15:14:45Z")
I always chuckled at this rhyme in Steve Taylor’s song _Bannerman_: _Primetime football in the Buffalo snow Freezing his little epidermis Lifts that banner at the first field goal Drinks clam chowder from a Thermos_ How many other songs do you know that fit “epidermis” into their rhyme scheme? ETA: Honorable mention for Old Crow Medicine Show’s _Wagon Wheel_ _Runnin’ from the cold up in New England I was born to be a fiddler in an old time string band_ ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2016, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-and-not-so-clever-rhymes-in-songs/762588/67 "2016-08-15T15:34:34Z")
_All of your minions will soon be my witnesses. They will discover what being scared shitless is._ -from the Something Fierce song “[Watergate](https://www.reverbnation.com/somethingfiercemn/song/13312022-watergate)” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2016, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-and-not-so-clever-rhymes-in-songs/762588/68 "2016-08-15T15:43:12Z")
WE DIDN’T START THE FIRE starts off easy enough – “Joe DiMaggio” rhyming with “Marilyn Monroe”, sure – and then he rhymes “H-Bomb” with “Panmunjom” before rhyming “Starkweather homicide” with “children of thalidomide”, which is when you realize the whole _point_ of the song is that it lets him pair stuff like “foreign debts” and “homeless vets” with “AIDS, crack, Bernie Goetz”. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2016, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-and-not-so-clever-rhymes-in-songs/762588/69 "2016-08-15T15:53:58Z")
_Reagan’s our fuehrer We need someone newer If I had my way I’d hang him on a skewer!_ D.I. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2016, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-and-not-so-clever-rhymes-in-songs/762588/70 "2016-08-15T17:23:23Z")
> [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](#): > > Smut! > Give me smut and nothing but! > A dirty novel I can’t shut, > If it’s uncut, > And unsubt- le. > > I’ve never quibbled > If it was ribald, > I would devour where others merely nibbled. > As the judge remarked the day that he > Acquitted my Aunt Hortense, > “to be smut > It must be ut- > Terly without redeeming social importance.” > > – Tom Lehrer > Read more: Tom Lehrer - Smut Lyrics | MetroLyrics My favorite of his many amazing rhymes > [@](#): > > You will all go directly to your respective Valhallas. > Go directly, do not pass Go, do not collect two hundred dolla’s. > And we will all go together when we go. > Ev’ry Hottenhot and ev’ry Eskimo. > When the air becomes uranious, > And we will all go simultaneous. > Yes we all will go together > When we all go together, > Yes we all will go together when we go. ---
**Author:** ![Scarecrow\_s\_Brain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@Scarecrow\_s\_Brain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarecrow_s_Brain)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2016, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-and-not-so-clever-rhymes-in-songs/762588/71 "2016-08-15T20:19:56Z")
> [@WordMan](#): > > Good lord, could that clank any harder? O Sting, what doggerel hast thou wrought? > > Oh yeah, this clanks, too: I will see your face turn alabaster, when you see your servant is your master. > > And this: I guess that I’m always hopin’ that you’ll end this reign, but it’s my destiny to be the King of Pain. > > So arch. So complex. So insightful. So…_Sting_. A veritable smorgasbord of clank and boast. You missed my “favorite”: _You consider me the young apprentice Caught between the Scylla and Charibdes_ sb ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2016, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-and-not-so-clever-rhymes-in-songs/762588/72 "2016-08-15T20:26:45Z")
How about just plain lazy ‘rhymes’? Black Sabbath’s **War Pigs** : _Generals gathered in their masses, just like witches at black masses._ Does a word rhyme with itself? ---
**Author:** ![Rain\_Soaked](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19adc/32.png) [@Rain\_Soaked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rain_Soaked)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2016, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-and-not-so-clever-rhymes-in-songs/762588/73 "2016-08-15T21:13:09Z")
“I don’t want a pickle I just want to ride on my motor-cicle And I don’t want a tickle I’d rather ride on my motor-cicle And I don’t want to die I just want to ride on my motor-cy…cle” Arlo Guthrie ---
**Author:** ![jsc1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2016, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-and-not-so-clever-rhymes-in-songs/762588/74 "2016-08-15T22:20:09Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > My favorite of his many amazing rhymes And more from the inimitable Tom Lehrer: Open up the spigot Pour the beer and swig it And Guadeamus Igit- ur. When you attend a funeral, It’s sad to think that sooner or l… ater, the ones you love will do the same for you. And I often think it tragic Not to mention other adjec- tives, to think of all the weeping they will do. ---
**Author:** ![BurnMeUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@BurnMeUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BurnMeUp)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2016, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-and-not-so-clever-rhymes-in-songs/762588/75 "2016-08-15T22:26:51Z")
> [@Isosleepy](#): > > “Big black nemesis, parthenogenesis” > > Is both. Correct! ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2016, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-and-not-so-clever-rhymes-in-songs/762588/76 "2016-08-15T22:33:44Z")
> [@Suburban\_Plankton](#): > > How about just plain lazy ‘rhymes’? > > Black Sabbath’s **War Pigs** : > > _Generals gathered in their masses, > just like witches at black masses._ > Does a word rhyme with itself? Yes. Known as an “identity rhyme” in formal prosody. I happen to like that one, as it uses two very different meanings of the word “masses,” from two different roots. ---
**Author:** ![P-man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/p-man/32/3606_2.png) [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2016, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-and-not-so-clever-rhymes-in-songs/762588/77 "2016-08-15T23:11:01Z")
It’s hard to beat Dylan rhyming skull and capital in “Idiot Wind.” ---
**Author:** ![TonySinclair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@TonySinclair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TonySinclair)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2016, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-and-not-so-clever-rhymes-in-songs/762588/78 "2016-08-16T00:18:57Z")
> [@Suburban\_Plankton](#): > > How about just plain lazy ‘rhymes’? “Peggy Sue, Peggy Sue Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, Peggy Sue Oh, Peggy, my Peggy Sue Oh well, I love you, gal And I need you, Peggy Sue.” ---
**Author:** ![drad\_dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@drad\_dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drad_dog)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2016, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-and-not-so-clever-rhymes-in-songs/762588/79 "2016-08-16T00:41:19Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Yes. Known as an “identity rhyme” in formal prosody. I happen to like that one, as it uses two very different meanings of the word “masses,” from two different roots. It’s really frustrating to work hard to not do that on your own song and then be listening to an old great song and it happens, and it never mattered at all to you then. I’m too self conscious. Same with film scripts. I would never let them be the way they are. I probably would never finish one if I tried. ---
**Author:** ![TonySinclair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@TonySinclair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TonySinclair)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2016, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-and-not-so-clever-rhymes-in-songs/762588/80 "2016-08-16T00:46:22Z")
By the way, since some people are going back to Cole Porter, you could pretty much pick any song at random from a Gilbert and Sullivan opera, and it would qualify. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-and-not-so-clever-rhymes-in-songs/762588.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-and-not-so-clever-rhymes-in-songs/762588.md?page=5)