# Clever Comments You Thought of Later **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 16, 2012, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-comments-you-thought-of-later/618948 "2012-04-16T14:11:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2012, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-comments-you-thought-of-later/618948/1 "2012-04-16T14:11:29Z")
Like most people, I think of the cleverest things things to say. . . . a week afterward. Like the time the one mother in our group who is always bragging about how smart her four-year-old is. My wife had picked up a couple of board books for our toddlers on trip to Germany. The mother asked, in awe, “Are you teaching your kids German?” knowing full well that our kids are trilingual (Japanese, Chinese and English) So, I said, “Well, some parents don’t buy into Pinker’s argument that it’s essential to expose your kids to four radically different languages before they’re three. But I’m sure Jr. will probably be able to catch up.” NOT. Stupid me, I just laughed and said that my wife liked the pictures even though we don’t have a fucking clue as to what the story says. So, what clever comment did you think up afterward? ---
**Author:** ![ExcitedIdiot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ea5d25/32.png) [@ExcitedIdiot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExcitedIdiot)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2012, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-comments-you-thought-of-later/618948/2 "2012-04-16T15:21:01Z")
“The Jerk Store called, and they’re running out of you!” ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2012, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-comments-you-thought-of-later/618948/3 "2012-04-16T15:39:28Z")
Just yesterday I was at my brother’s house with my mom and sister (and my brother’s wife). We all ordered Noodles and he went and picked it up. Three of us, myself included, ordered the same thing, Penne Rosa. I’ve had the Penne Rosa a million times and know what it looks like, but for some reason my sister grabbed at it thinking it was hers. I tried to explain to her that it was mine, but being a bit bullheaded she insisted it was her’s because she knows what she gets and it looks like hers. This went back and forth and even explaining that it was identical to two other meals didn’t get it through to her. It wasn’t until her actual meal came out of the bag that she realized that mine wasn’t hers. Later I realized what I should have done…I should have let her take a bite. She is so ridiculously sensitive to heat it’s a amazing. Penne Rosa has some Red Pepper Flakes in it. Not much of a bite for most, but her mouth would have been on fire and she likely would have spit it out before she even managed to chew the first bite. Maybe not a clever ‘comment’ but I still wish I had done it and I thought of it about 5 minutes later. And because I know someone will say it…[L’esprit de l’escalier](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L%27esprit_de_l%27escalier) is the term for it. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2012, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-comments-you-thought-of-later/618948/4 "2012-04-16T15:41:45Z")
> [@ExcitedIdiot](#): > > “The Jerk Store called, and they’re running out of you!” What’s the difference? You’re their all-time best seller! ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2012, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-comments-you-thought-of-later/618948/5 "2012-04-16T21:05:58Z")
“Shut up Becky!” ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2012, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-comments-you-thought-of-later/618948/6 "2012-04-17T11:57:14Z")
Moi? ---
**Author:** ![minlokwat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/minlokwat/32/2844_2.png) [@minlokwat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minlokwat)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2012, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-comments-you-thought-of-later/618948/7 "2012-04-17T12:51:10Z")
A couple of years back, early December, I had to go to the MVA to get my license renewed. What Seinfeld said about the place being a leper colony is dead-on. So while waiting in the ubiquitous long-ass line, some guy who was either drunk, high or just plain whacked out, performs a somewhat loud soliloquy about the state of linguistic diversity he was currently encountering. That is, he was delivering a loud, wanting-to-be-heard rant about, “How come no one speaks English around here?” “I thought this was America.” “That’s what’s wrong with this damn country,” and so on. He was roundly ignored by one and all. Well after he had tended to whatever business he had, he addressed the masses directly saying, “Alright everyone, sorry about all that. Hope everyone has a good holiday.” The perfect line that I came up with on the drive home would have been a cheery, “¡Feliz Navidad!” Dadgummit, since I’m sure it would have brought the house down. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2012, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-comments-you-thought-of-later/618948/8 "2012-04-17T13:16:58Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > What’s the difference? You’re their all-time best seller! Yeah well… I had sex with your wife! ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Doom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Dr\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Doom)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2012, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-comments-you-thought-of-later/618948/9 "2012-04-17T13:50:51Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Yeah well… I had sex with your wife! His wife’s in a coma. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2012, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-comments-you-thought-of-later/618948/10 "2012-04-17T18:42:56Z")
> [@Becky2844](#): > > Moi? [Becky!](http://simpsons.wikia.com/wiki/Becky_%28It%27s_a_Mad,_Mad,_Mad,_Mad_Marge%29) ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2012, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-comments-you-thought-of-later/618948/11 "2012-04-17T19:51:57Z")
_phew_ ---
**Author:** ![Diver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@Diver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diver)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2012, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-comments-you-thought-of-later/618948/12 "2012-04-17T22:56:31Z")
Many years ago my wife and I were at a drive in movie watching Allen Funt’s What Do You Say to A Naked Lady. In one of the skits women that were supposed to interviewed for a job were told to wait in a room. A guy in a toga came into the room and posed on a pedestal then dropped the toga and offered a full frontal nude view. My wife said in a voice loud enough to be heard a couple of cars away " You told me they were all the same size" I heard a lot of laughter on both sides of our car. It was the next day before I realized I should have said loudly “Nope some are smaller”