# Clever ways of saying someone isn't smart **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 2, 2000, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391 "2000-11-02T15:58:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/21 "2000-11-02T19:15:35Z")
Foghorn Leghorn (of Chuck Jones/Looney Tunes fame) once remarked: “Nice boy, but he’s about as sharp as a sack of wet mice.” ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/22 "2000-11-02T19:23:35Z")
what you want is the canonical list of fulldeckisms…currently at 1393 [http://herbison.com/canon/fulldeck.html](http://herbison.com/canon/fulldeck.html) ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/23 "2000-11-02T19:25:41Z")
oh shit…did i do that…\ ignore previous post of a twit who didnt read all the previous posts… \ ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/24 "2000-11-02T19:44:14Z")
That boy’s as useless as a one-legged man at an ass-kicking. [Foghorn Leghorn]That boy’s about as sharp as a bowling ball.[/Foghorn Leghorn] Useless as tits on a boar hog. (Pardon me, ladies.) ---
**Author:** ![Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/977dab/32.png) [@Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soup)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/25 "2000-11-02T19:51:27Z")
beagledave- Don’t be too hard on yourself. Your list seems to have more entries (it was updated yesterday), and not all the entries are the same as the ones on the list Aglarond submitted. We won’t be using any of these to describe you. ---
**Author:** ![lolagranola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ea5d25/32.png) [@lolagranola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lolagranola)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/26 "2000-11-02T20:15:59Z")
Couldn’t pick his nose with instructions. His IQ rises on a hot day. ---
**Author:** ![Atreyu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Atreyu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atreyu)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/27 "2000-11-02T20:30:20Z")
Dumber than a box of hair. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Dave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/46a35a/32.png) [@Great\_Dave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Dave)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/28 "2000-11-02T20:51:07Z")
Not all his dogs are barking. Not hitting on all cylinders. Must’ve been dropped a few times as a kid. Not the smoothest pebble in the stream, nor the shiniest rock in the bucket. As thick as a whale omelette. ---
**Author:** ![MikeG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikeg/32/4329_2.png) [@MikeG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeG)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/29 "2000-11-02T21:03:46Z")
- six cents short of a nickel - the elevator doesn’t go to the top floor - doesn’t check the links to see if he’s repeating someone ---
**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/30 "2000-11-02T21:53:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gazoo \* > And check [this earlier **thred**](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=34268). (emphasis mine) I think this one speaks for itself. “All foam, no beer” “Has two brain cells, and they’re not talking to each other” “As smart as bait” ---
**Author:** ![Saturn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e19b73/32.png) [@Saturn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saturn)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/31 "2000-11-02T22:16:33Z")
The wheel is spinning, but the hamster’s dead. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/32 "2000-11-02T22:32:47Z")
…is a woman ::runs so fast his shoes melt and the hair blows off his head:: ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/33 "2000-11-02T22:33:48Z")
an intellect rivaled only by garden tools. a coupla clowns short of a circus. Once, referring to a “friend” who had a habit of f\*\*\*ing extremely stupid men, I suggested we make a poster for her door: A picture of a rock, with the copy reading “You must be at least as smart as this rock to ride this ride.” ---
**Author:** ![ladybug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/46a35a/32.png) [@ladybug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladybug)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/34 "2000-11-02T22:56:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mauvaise \* > \*\*The one that never fails to amuse me (don’t know why) is: > > Dumb as a bag of hammers. \*\* The first time I heard that was on an old episode of MST3K. It always cracks me up (maybe it’s the thought of Tom Servo saying it). 😃 Got a couple more: … has delusions of adequacy. … is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. … should sell when his IQ reaches 50. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/35 "2000-11-02T23:21:33Z")
. . . dumb as a Bush (or a Shrub) ---
**Author:** ![Tinker\_Grey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tinker_grey/32/8136_2.png) [@Tinker\_Grey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tinker_Grey)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/36 "2000-11-02T23:22:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dylan\_73 \* > \*\*Mercifully spared the ravages of intelligence. > > (That’s not quite right, but something like that…from Blackadder I think.) \*\* It’s from Time Bandits. The Evil One is talking to his minion Benson. I don’t know the exact quote, but someone here (SDMB) has it as his/her sig. Tinker ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2000, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/37 "2000-11-03T00:13:29Z")
…courtesy of **The Bloodhound Gang** “Not the smartest peanut in the turd.” ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2000, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/38 "2000-11-03T00:26:24Z")
Granny on the Beverly Hillbillies: “If brains was bacon fat, that boy wouldn’t grease too big a pan.” Heard used by a Black govt. worker: “You must be a SPECIAL kind of stupid.” And, for crazy instead of stupid: “A few bubbles off plumb” ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2000, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/39 "2000-11-03T01:01:38Z")
I’ve always used “Not the brightest star in the Milky Way” ---
**Author:** ![DougC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7feea3/32.png) [@DougC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DougC)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2000, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/40 "2000-11-03T01:35:49Z")
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