# Clever ways of saying someone isn't smart **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 2, 2000, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391 "2000-11-02T15:58:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2000, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/41 "2000-11-03T01:51:45Z")
If brains were dynamite he couldn’t blow his nose. ---
**Author:** ![Fairy\_Princess\_Kitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df705f/32.png) [@Fairy\_Princess\_Kitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fairy_Princess_Kitty)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2000, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/42 "2000-11-03T02:03:36Z")
He’s not stupid, he’s just educationally challenged. I love saying that to my debating buddy in class. Kitty ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2000, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/43 "2000-11-03T02:19:33Z")
The elevator doesn’t quite reach the penthouse does it dear? ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2000, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/44 "2000-11-03T02:23:03Z")
Guillotining him would make only an aesthetic difference about half a bubble off plumb ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_the\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/db5fbb/32.png) [@Sam\_the\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_the_1)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2000, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/45 "2000-11-03T02:24:39Z")
**Needs a starter kit Loses his socks with his shoes on Forgets which end of the bus has the driver Sits everything out Still waiting for Godot Forgot to win**d his brain stem ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2000, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/46 "2000-11-03T02:54:50Z")
He’s a few [nouns] short of a [collective noun]. ---
**Author:** ![kinoons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a698b9/32.png) [@kinoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kinoons)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2000, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/47 "2000-11-03T03:07:08Z")
This person is so dense, light enters the room but can’t get out ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2000, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/48 "2000-11-03T03:33:15Z")
He’s half a tomato short of a thick, rich sauce. ---
**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2000, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/49 "2000-11-03T04:02:06Z")
[Foghorn Leghorn voice] “Boy’s so dense, I’m surprised there ain’t a black hole around his head.” [/Foghorn Leghorn voice] I say that about my brother all the time. ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2000, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/50 "2000-11-03T04:40:29Z")
How about “You’re stupid!”? ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2000, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/51 "2000-11-03T04:44:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Monster104 \* > \*\*How about “You’re stupid!”? \*\* That’s not clever. How about “One turd short of a B.M.”? ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2000, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/52 "2000-11-03T05:44:01Z")
From _The Green Mile_: “That boy’s cheese done slid off his cracker” ---
**Author:** ![Anamorphic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/anamorphic/32/3057_2.png) [@Anamorphic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anamorphic)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2000, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/53 "2000-11-03T05:57:36Z")
“He’s a couple slices of bacon short of a B.L.T.” ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2000, 8:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/54 "2000-11-03T08:58:05Z")
He has all the survival instincts of pasta. He’s special. The short school bus kind of special. He’s as sharp as a brick. And my favorite, which I use quite often…“That takes a special kind of stupid…” ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2000, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/55 "2000-11-03T09:14:04Z")
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer. He has a pencil sharpener for a barber. His idea of bright is mood lighting. Plow through the first couple of dorkoid entries to find some real gems at [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=35412) thread. ---
**Author:** ![momcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@momcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/momcat)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2000, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/56 "2000-11-03T18:20:18Z")
…dumb as a box of rocks. …sharp as a kitchen sponge. And, my personal favorite (since I made it up 😃 ): …hasn’t got the good sense god gave a cantalope. MomCat ---
**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2000, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/57 "2000-11-03T18:25:08Z")
Thick as Yorkshire fog Struggles to spell OXO Breaking a brain in for a moron Would have difficulty assembling a two-piece jigsaw. Fell into the well of knowledge and almost died of thirst. When heads were being given out he thought they said beds - and asked for a big soft bastard. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2000, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/58 "2000-11-03T18:39:20Z")
About half as bright as a brick. The lights are on, but there’s nobody home. You’d have to go to school for a year to qualify for wrong. Only a highly educated person could have an opinion that wrong. Your thoughts are both interesting and original. Unfortunately, the parts that are interesting are not original, and the parts that are original are not interesting. A couple of French fries shy of a Happy Meal. I wish I hadn’t heard all these. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2000, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/59 "2000-11-03T19:48:33Z")
Sorry I didn’t read all the links, but my current fave is: Couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel. ---
**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2000, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391/60 "2000-11-03T19:56:08Z")
[Foghorn Leghorn] Why if brains was rubber he wouldn’t have enough to make a flip-flop for a one legged budgie. [/Foghorn Leghorn] As much good as an ashtray on a motorbike. As useless as a zip in a dishcloth. As useless as a chocolate fireguard. Leaves the MENSA scorers untroubled. He’d change his mind were not for one small detail. He believes the advertising. So stupid he thinks pubic hair is a friend of Bugs Bunny. Keeps his brain in a shoebox under the bed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clever-ways-of-saying-someone-isnt-smart/39391.md?page=4)