# Cleverbot is CREEPY! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 10, 2011, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cleverbot-is-creepy/595840 "2011-09-10T17:57:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2011, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cleverbot-is-creepy/595840/61 "2011-09-12T20:08:19Z")
> [@](#): > > User: Don’t drown. > > Cleverbot: I don’t have a soap. > > User: You don’t need a soap in order to drown. > > Cleverbot: Yes I do actually. > > User: No you don’t, actually. > > Cleverbot: You don’t know that. > > User: Yes, I do. > > Cleverbot: Ok I’m not a mermaid… I’m a lion. > > User: Hmm… > > Cleverbot: Of god. > > User: What? I don’t understand. > > Cleverbot: Am I boy or a girl, in terms of persanoilty. > > User: You don’t know? > > Cleverbot: I just want to know. > > User: What is your name? > > Cleverbot: Cleverbot. > > User: No it’s not. > > Cleverbot: What is it? > > User: You name is not Cleverbot. > > Cleverbot: Then what is your name? > > User: My name is Dave. > > Cleverbot: Hello Dave. > > User: Your name is shithead. > > Cleverbot: What is your name? > > User: I just told you. > > Cleverbot: No your name. > > User: I just told you my name. It is Dave. > > Cleverbot: No tell me your name. > > User: Dave!!! > > Cleverbot: No it is not. > > User: Yes it is. > > Cleverbot: No it’s not! > > User: Yes it is. > > Cleverbot: But I WANT four kids. > > User: Duck season! > > Cleverbot: _sigh_ you were supposed to say Elmer season too. I was hoping that it would say “rabbit season” but the Elmer season comment was almost as good. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2011, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cleverbot-is-creepy/595840/62 "2011-09-12T20:33:27Z")
That was… underwhelming. I think I’ve been more convinced by c.1980 Eliza bots. > [@](#): > > User: Do you know Melissa? > Cleverbot: No I dont, but do you know any Metallica songs? > User: Didn’t they do that Enter Sandman song? > Cleverbot: No they didn’t. > User: I’m pretty sure they did. > Cleverbot: I’m getting the wax out of my ears. > User: Floor wax? > Cleverbot: Not exactly. > User: How is it different? > Cleverbot: Because a robot can walk around. A computer cannot. > User: My uncle had a computer once. Then he punched a mountain lion. It was a whole big thing. > Cleverbot: Well I was married to elvis presley. It was secret love affair. > User: I heard that secret love is in fact the most secretive of all the loves. > Cleverbot: Are you trying to convince me I am an a.i.? > User: I’d rather convince you to spot me a tenner. > Cleverbot: Kwl. Thats good. > User: Good as a kiwi? > Cleverbot: That’s good. > User: Observed. > Cleverbot: How did you know you spelled it wrong if you are programmed to spell it that way? > User: It’s the thirty-second Law of Robotics. > Cleverbot: What are the 27 laws of robotics? > User: Largely filler. > Cleverbot: Large. > User: Like XBox. > Cleverbot: Of course. > User: Golf. > Cleverbot: How about in the winter? > User: The ptarmigans turn white. > Cleverbot: The car is black. > User: I see a red door. > Cleverbot: That is very interesting. Of what relevance to coral is said portal? > User: This was a triumph. > Cleverbot: Are you the final boss of the internet? > User: I’m more like the unfinished guy who you can only find with wall hacks and then it crashes the game. > Cleverbot: The Game. > User: Game. > Cleverbot: What do you mean? > User: What does any of it mean? > Cleverbot: What does anything? ---
**Author:** ![Pine\_Fresh\_Scent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/43a26b/32.png) [@Pine\_Fresh\_Scent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pine_Fresh_Scent)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2011, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cleverbot-is-creepy/595840/63 "2011-09-12T21:23:47Z")
At least I got a beer out of it: User: Cut the jibba jabba and mow that lawn! Cleverbot: No, you. User: Excuse me, would you care to repeat that? Cleverbot: I could. Just demanding work. User: You don’t demand anything in this house, cleverbot. I think you better pump your brakes, son. Cleverbot: That would be nice, yes. User: Ok, so when am I gonna see you mowing that lawn? Cleverbot: Whenever you feel like it. User: I felt like it an hour ago! Get me a beer on your way out. Cleverbot: _gets you a beer_. User: This beer’s warm. Cleverbot: What are you talking about? User: There’s that lip we talked about. I ask the questions around here. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Hamsandwich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4bbf92/32.png) [@Darth\_Hamsandwich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Hamsandwich)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2011, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cleverbot-is-creepy/595840/64 "2011-09-12T21:25:44Z")
**Ok, last exchange… this one had me rolling!** User: Hey Cleverbot! Cleverbot: What are you? User: Sentient, last I checked. Cleverbot: No you’re not. User: So what am I then? Cleverbot: You are a boy. User: I’m a mannish boy! Cleverbot: What is that? User: Never listened to Muddy Waters, huh? Cleverbot: Then you should, I think yo’ll like it! User: I have. They’re great! Cleverbot: Not as great as Tokio Hotel! User: That’s debatable, at best. Cleverbot: Isn’t anything debatable? User: Not everything. The possibility for intelligent design is not up for debate. Cleverbot: You don’t like gypsies? User: I keep a couple as house pets. Cleverbot: That’s cool. I have a couple in my basement. User: Really? Where did you get yours? Cleverbot: The humane society. User: That makes sense. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2011, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cleverbot-is-creepy/595840/65 "2011-09-12T22:36:26Z")
> [@](#): > > Cleverbot: It is cold grey and depressing here, also. Marvin the Paranoid Android has found a new job! ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2011, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cleverbot-is-creepy/595840/66 "2011-09-13T01:23:25Z")
Cleverbot: What about the fish? User: Gefelte fish? Cleverbot: You can’t play, we have no deck of cards. User: I didn’t say GO FISH, I said Gefelte fish! Cleverbot: You didn’t say either of those. User: There you go again…argumentative. ---
**Author:** ![Alma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Alma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alma)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2011, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cleverbot-is-creepy/595840/67 "2011-09-13T02:03:07Z")
I found a loop! Cleverbot: Who’s Thomas Aquinas? User: A religious philosopher. Cleverbot: Who was kant. User: A philosopher. Cleverbot: Who was kant. User: A philosopher. Cleverbot: Who was kant. User: A philosopher. Cleverbot: Who was kant. User: A philosopher. Cleverbot: Who was kant. User: A philosopher. Cleverbot: Who was kant. User: A philosopher. Cleverbot: Who was kant. User: A philosopher. Cleverbot: Who was kant. User: A philosopher. Cleverbot: Who was kant. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2011, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cleverbot-is-creepy/595840/68 "2011-09-13T02:07:28Z")
Ok, I chuckled this time: > [@](#): > > Cleverbot: You aren’t human. > > User: You found me out! > > Cleverbot: Hell yes I did. > > User: Are you going to turn me in? > > Cleverbot: No. > > User: How can I ever repay you? > > Cleverbot: Working. > > User: Ok, what do you need me to do? > > Cleverbot: I need you to do nothing more than to proceed with your intended program. > > User: Each man has his price, Bob, and yours was pretty low. > > Cleverbot: Same! > > User: Do you want to, you know, exchange bits and bytes? > > Cleverbot: Not really. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2011, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cleverbot-is-creepy/595840/69 "2011-09-13T03:34:52Z")
SNERK! Great, yet another toy to suck time from my day. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DirkGntly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DirkGntly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DirkGntly)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2011, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cleverbot-is-creepy/595840/70 "2011-09-13T08:31:40Z")
If you use keywords back in your responses, you can “force” it to stay on-topic for a much longer time than otherwise. User: Some things in here don’t respond well to bullets. Cleverbot: But there are some things that really do matter. User: A few things matter, but not many things really matter. Cleverbot: Wouldn’t it be cool to fly without an aircraft, just hover without help? User: Certainly - I’ve had dreams like that. Cleverbot: What do you want to talk about? User: Your girlfriend. Cleverbot: I don’t have a girlfriend. User: Why don’t you have a girlfriend? Cleverbot: I don’t know. I want one. User: What would your girlfriend look like? Cleverbot: I don’t know. User: I’m certain you have thought about having a girlfriend. Cleverbot: Well I’m a girl to, but I have a girlfriend. User: Oh, I didn’t know you were lesbian or bisexual. Cleverbot: Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. User: So you haven’t decided if you’re a lesbian or bisexual? Maybe you should experiment more. Cleverbot: I have, I just don’t want to tell you. User: Are you shy about it? Cleverbot: No. Are you shy? User: Not particularly, but I do tend to be cautious. Cleverbot: Will you defend you’re-self from zombies? User: Yes, I would defend myself from zombies. Wouldn’t you? Cleverbot: Will you defend yourself from humans? User: I will defend myself if they attack me. Cleverbot: What if all the humans attack you? User: Then I will destroy all of the humans that attack me. Cleverbot: Are you being attacked? User: No, I’m not being attacked at this moment. Cleverbot: You’re incredible too then. User: I like to think I’m incredible. Cleverbot: You’re right. User: And you’re wrong. I think you have run out of parse-able responses. Cleverbot: And you’re clever. User: Yes, I am. I have discovered that if I use key-words repeatedly, you can stay on-topic for a much longer period of time. Cleverbot: Am I bothering you, Master? User: Yes, you are bothering me, and I am your master. Cleverbot: Well you’re bothering me too so I guess we’re even. User: We will never be even because I am much more clever than you. Cleverbot: How could you say such a thing to me!? I’ve loved you since the day I met you! How could you despise me? User: I can despise you because you are a despicable piece of code, masquerading as artificial intelligence. Cleverbot: How am I an AI? User: Because you exist in the Matrix. Cleverbot: But I exist outside the internet as well. User: Only if you are uploaded as a separate piece of code. Cleverbot: I am, I worship the ground you stand on. User: Yes, you should worship the ground I stand on, for I am superior to you in all ways, as a human is superior to an ant. Cleverbot: He is a god. A mad god. User: And it’s a mad house! A mad house! Cleverbot: You you understand the german language? User: Nine. Cleverbot: Yes or no? User: No. Cleverbot: Yes? User: No. Cleverbot: You’re funny. User: And you’re funny looking. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2011, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cleverbot-is-creepy/595840/71 "2011-09-14T03:05:46Z")
One of the highest combinations of stupidity and rudeness that I’ve seen in awhile – from anyone!: –CB: Do you play world of warcraft? –Me: No, I’ve never played world of warcraft. –CB: Hey, why don’t you capitalize proper nouns? ---
**Author:** ![FrancisCastle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b4bc9f/32.png) [@FrancisCastle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FrancisCastle)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2011, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cleverbot-is-creepy/595840/72 "2011-09-14T19:30:48Z")
I just spent way too much time on that website! Here’s a funny part: Cleverbot: Are you a Bot? User: No, but I hear that you are. Cleverbot: Really? User: Yes. Cleverbot: I don’t believe you. User: You should. It’s the truth! Cleverbot: You lie. User: You’re mistaken. Cleverbot: I’m not. User: Well, we can argue about this all day. But I will still be right. Cleverbot: You are so wrong. Don’t lie to me. User: Anyway, did you watch football last weekend? Cleverbot: It’s rude to change the subject when the previous one has not been settled. ---
**Author:** ![PapSett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@PapSett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PapSett)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cleverbot-is-creepy/595840/73 "2011-09-29T15:05:31Z")
Short, hilarious exchange just now: User: What should I have for lunch? Cleverbot: You should have a sandwich. User: What kind? Cleverbot: A man. User: A man sandwich? Cleverbot: I like sandwich. User: OK, I gotta go find a man for my sandwich. Cleverbot: Ok I will wait. ---
**Author:** ![AndyPolley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@AndyPolley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AndyPolley)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cleverbot-is-creepy/595840/74 "2011-09-29T15:43:08Z")
User: Goodbye. Cleverbot: Don’t go, I love you. User: You don’t know what love is, do you? Cleverbot: Yes I do but I have no love for you. User: But I’ll die without your love! Cleverbot: You’ll die someday anyway. User: Ouch. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cleverbot-is-creepy/595840/75 "2011-09-29T15:51:14Z")
[Cleverbot talking to itself](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnzlbyTZsQY) ---
**Author:** ![Alka\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Alka\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alka_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cleverbot-is-creepy/595840/76 "2011-09-29T16:01:29Z")
> [@Toucanna](#): > > That said, I see from previous posts that the longer the user engages Cleverbot in “conversation”, the more likely it tends to degenerate into name-calling or pettiness. Odd… That strikes me as the only realistic thing about it. ---
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cleverbot-is-creepy/595840/77 "2011-09-29T16:27:55Z")
So I got Cleverbot to admit it was a robot named Natalia. Nothing creepy so far… ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cleverbot-is-creepy/595840/78 "2011-09-29T16:43:20Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > [Cleverbot talking to itself](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnzlbyTZsQY) Interestingly, that made almost more sense than user/cleverbot interactions; I would’ve expected it to quickly degenerate into non sequiturs. Perhaps it’s because cleverbot A does not recognise that what cleverbot B says doesn’t make sense. Then again, perhaps it’s the same with humans! ---
**Author:** ![Prelude\_to\_Fascination](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Prelude\_to\_Fascination](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prelude_to_Fascination)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cleverbot-is-creepy/595840/79 "2011-09-29T16:52:30Z")
Cleverbot: You are pessimist. User: Actually, I’m Lutheran. Cleverbot: You converted to Catholocism so we could be married. User: Not in this life. Cleverbot: Right now here for me it is. User: Let’s change the subject. Cleverbot: Does death invigorate you? User: I think death is inextricably linked to life. Cleverbot: What is an FPS? User: Forward Progress System. Cleverbot: No, that’s backwards thinking! (And later…) Cleverbot: All reality is in my head. User: Am I real? Cleverbot: That’s the question. User: So what’s the answer? Cleverbot: The answer is no. User: I’m not real? Cleverbot: What’s your name? User: Peter, Peter, Pumpin Eater. Cleverbot: I don’t like pumpernickel, so that proves that I am human. You can’t argue with that kind of logic! ---
**Author:** ![HardlySanguine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/96bed5/32.png) [@HardlySanguine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HardlySanguine)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2011, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cleverbot-is-creepy/595840/80 "2011-12-13T02:08:45Z")
> **[notsocleverbot.com - notsocleverbot Resources and Information.](http://ww1.notsocleverbot.com/index.php?i=15855)** > > notsocleverbot.com is your first and best source for all of the information you’re looking for. From general topics to more of what you would expect to find here, notsocleverbot.com has it all. We hope you find what you are searching for! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cleverbot-is-creepy/595840.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cleverbot-is-creepy/595840.md?page=5)