# Click Wait **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 1, 2008, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/click-wait/443570 "2008-04-01T19:36:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/click-wait/443570/1 "2008-04-01T19:36:55Z")
I share this because I am magnanimous I am credible I am The One Let me say aw shucks up front And thank you and yours too and I’ve always admired you as well It’s the hunger It’s the purity of our thoughts and motives I write You read We bond and I have made a contribution to your life Your miserable life Your life that is missing so much of what I have experienced Your blessed and sheltered life Your life that is missing so much of what I have experienced When I’ve posted this No one will doubt me anymore No one will ever be mean again I will be recognized and carried upon the shoulders of they who can hear me But not those others Oh, why will God not smite them The shitty whores who doubt me now Who cannot see what I have seen because they have no eyes I will post this now and you will be richer for it I will be richer The world will be richer They will ask me where I’ve been all their lives And I will be the hero The Extraordinary and Minister Plenipetentiary I cry as I click for I am sending my soul to be tested by strangers I wait I wait more I wait and wonder what is wrong Failure 404 Error Problem Connection Service Not Found Not Ready Not Possible The fall of Rome The blast at Hiroshima The Towers in rubble Sigh I share this because I am magnanimous I am credible I am The One Let me say aw shucks up front And thank you and yours too and I’ve always admired you as well It’s the hunger It’s the purity of our thoughts and motives I write You read ---
**Author:** ![kjckjc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e36b37/32.png) [@kjckjc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kjckjc)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/click-wait/443570/2 "2008-04-01T20:21:57Z")
Correct? I think? Perhaps…well put? I don’t really know what is being asked here. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/click-wait/443570/3 "2008-04-01T20:41:41Z")
A poem. For open review and criticism. ETA I’m honored, incidentally, to be the recipient of one of your rare posts. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![well\_he\_s\_back](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/3ab097/32.png) [@well\_he\_s\_back](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/well_he_s_back)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/click-wait/443570/4 "2008-04-01T21:17:07Z")
Is this an April Fool? ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/click-wait/443570/5 "2008-04-01T21:41:15Z")
No, sorry. ---
**Author:** ![kjckjc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e36b37/32.png) [@kjckjc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kjckjc)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2008, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/click-wait/443570/6 "2008-04-02T00:24:04Z")
[QUOTE=Liberal] A poem. For open review and criticism. ETA I’m honored, incidentally, to be the recipient of one of your rare posts. 🙂 [/QUOTE] Yeeeeeaaaah…that is what it is..an honor…that I am bestowing on you…that’s the ticket. I only WISH I had 34k posts worth of valuable insight to offer. Of course while I was posting I was saying to myself “Please don’t be some sort of bizzare suicide note I don’t understand. Who posts suicide notes in Cafe Society? Please don’t be some sort of bizzare suicide note. Please be a poem cuz I like it. But you can’t say you “like” somebody’s cry for help.” ---
**Author:** ![Hoops](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoops/32/6408_2.png) [@Hoops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoops)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2008, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/click-wait/443570/7 "2008-04-02T04:34:36Z")
Well, hmmm. This is a poem, then. And it is being submitted for critique? Well, it _is_ [National Poetry Month](http://www.poets.org/page.php/prmID/47?gclid=CN2-gdTAu5ICFSUbawod2TWkZA), so I’ll bite. First, I think it could be improved with punctuation. Next, I would make “bond” part of “write” and “read”, and then start a new stanza, possibly replacing “and” with, say, “now” or “so”. I’d punctuate that stanza with dashes. Kind of Ginsbergy. I’d set aside the stanza starting “But not those others” with parentheses. And repeat the line beginning " Who cannot see" for emphasis. More Ginsberg. I’d put more space between the “waiting” lines. I’d insert the word “some” into “I wait more”. Bold the 404 line. The references to Rome, Hiroshima, and 9/11 are in poor taste, particularly the latter two. Note I am not personally offended by them–they just are out of place for the tone of the poem, particularly coming directly after the 404 ‘punchline.’ I’d increase the whitespace bracketing the sigh, and maybe italicize it. Then end with the new first verse, including “we bond” as the final words. My edited version of **Click Wait** : * * * I share this because I am magnanimous. I am credible. I am The One. Let me say aw shucks up front, And thank you, and yours too, and I’ve always admired you as well. It’s the hunger. It’s the purity of our thoughts and motives. I write. You read. We bond. Now I have made a contribution to your life– Your miserable life– Your life that is missing so much of what I have experienced– Your blessed and sheltered life– Your life that is missing so much of what I have experienced! When I’ve posted this, No one will doubt me anymore. No one will ever be mean again. I will be recognized and carried upon the shoulders of those who can hear me. (But not those others! Oh, why will God not smite them? The shitty whores who doubt me now, Who cannot see what I have seen because they have no eyes Who cannot see what I have seen because they have no eyes.) I will post this now, and you will be richer for it. I will be richer. The world will be richer. They will ask me where I’ve been all their lives, And I will be the hero, The Extraordinary and Minister Plenipotentiary! I cry as I click, for I am sending my soul to be tested by strangers. I wait. I wait some more . . . I wait and wonder what is wrong. **Failure 404 Error Problem Connection Service Not Found Not Ready Not Possible** _. . . sigh . . ._ I share this because I am magnanimous. I am credible. I am The One. Let me say aw shucks up front, And thank you, and yours too, and I’ve always admired you as well. It’s the hunger. It’s the purity of our thoughts and motives. I write. You read. We bond. ---
**Author:** ![Talon\_Karrde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Talon\_Karrde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talon_Karrde)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2008, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/click-wait/443570/8 "2008-04-02T05:05:05Z")
It’s the first poem I’ve read about message board posting anxiety, and that makes it worth reading for me. I also like it in general. For some reason, maybe because the “Waiting for Godot” thread has me thinking about Samuel Beckett, maybe because of the writing style, it reminds me a little of this poem: [http://www.msu.edu/user/sullivan/BeckettPoem1.html](http://www.msu.edu/user/sullivan/BeckettPoem1.html) ---
**Author:** ![Staggerlee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/staggerlee/32/3134_2.png) [@Staggerlee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Staggerlee)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2008, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/click-wait/443570/9 "2008-04-02T11:10:28Z")
It reminded me of The Bomb in Dark Star, for some reason. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2008, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/click-wait/443570/10 "2008-04-02T16:20:22Z")
I enjoyed reading it, but I will offer no criticism; I never could get the hang of poetry. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Sal\_Ammoniac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Sal\_Ammoniac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sal_Ammoniac)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2008, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/click-wait/443570/11 "2008-04-02T16:28:06Z")
You misspelled “Plenipotentiary.” How’s that for carping criticism? ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2008, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/click-wait/443570/12 "2008-04-02T17:28:23Z")
[QUOTE=Sal Ammoniac] You misspelled “Plenipotentiary.” How’s that for carping criticism? [/QUOTE] Good, thanks. But “Plenipetentiary” is a (bad) Latin -\> Italian pun. From a miserable begger to someone who merely farts.