# Clinton's Distinguishing Characteristic **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [February 9, 2000, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clintons-distinguishing-characteristic/6985 "2000-02-09T15:41:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![KenP](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c0e974/32.png) [@KenP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KenP)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2000, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clintons-distinguishing-characteristic/6985/1 "2000-02-09T15:41:00Z")
When Monica Lewinsky was testifying about her activities with the President, she said that his private parts had some “distinguishing characteristic.” Have the specifics ever been made public? Does he have a tattoo or a birthmark or what? ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2000, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clintons-distinguishing-characteristic/6985/2 "2000-02-09T15:52:00Z")
Where was I just reading something on this? The “distinguishing characteristic,” according to the article I read, was that it curves. If I can find the article I’ll post a link. ---
**Author:** ![jwg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@jwg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jwg)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2000, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clintons-distinguishing-characteristic/6985/3 "2000-02-09T16:31:00Z")
I think that it was called Pirone’s disease, or something like that - it is supposed to curve (to the left?). I also seem to remember that Paula Jones testified that his tool, when fully erect, was about five inches long and as thick as a finger. And this on a 6 foot 200+ pound man. Just call him “bugdick.” You know, that might actually explain a lot. No wonder he didn’t want the truth to come out. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2000, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clintons-distinguishing-characteristic/6985/4 "2000-02-09T17:08:00Z")
This web site is a conservative news forum, so I don’t know how impartial they are. But at this page [http://www.freerepublic.com/forum/a174283.htm](http://www.freerepublic.com/forum/a174283.htm) there is what seems to be a reprint from an article from the Toronto Star Washington Bureau April 4, 1998 By Kathleen Kenna > [@](#): > > But Debra Lynn Ballentine, an Arkansas friend of (Paula) Jones, testified she was told everything. > She told lawyers a weeping Jones ran to her Little Rock office moments after fleeing Clinton’s hotel suite almost eight years ago. > `She did tell me that there was something wrong with him. You know, something wasn't quite right when she looked at him when he had his pants down,'' Ballentine testified under oath. `She told me that - she told me that he had an erection but that it was, like, bent, real bent and she asked me if I had ever seen anything like that before and I said no.’’ ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2000, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clintons-distinguishing-characteristic/6985/5 "2000-02-09T17:24:00Z")
It was Paula Jones, not Monica Lewinsky, who made the comment about “distinguishing characteristics.” When the case came to trial, though, she had dropped that assertion. It may have just been a comment to the press that got played up. * * * “East is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.” – Marx Read “Sundials” in the new issue of Aboriginal Science Fiction. [www.sff.net/people/rothman](http://www.sff.net/people/rothman) ---
**Author:** ![TubaDiva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tubadiva/32/507_2.png) [@TubaDiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TubaDiva)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2000, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clintons-distinguishing-characteristic/6985/6 "2000-02-09T17:26:00Z")
It’s spelled “Peyronie’s.” Here’s more information. [Peyronie’s disease: curvature of the penis](http://www.malehealthcenter.com/Peyron.html) And the rumor is that Clinton has it … . I’ve also heard that he has [vitiligo](http://www.nih.gov/niams/healthinfo/vitiligo.htm), so he can be referred to as “spotted dick.” 🙂 However, I have no, um, first hand information on any of this, thanks be to god. your humble TubaDiva ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2000, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clintons-distinguishing-characteristic/6985/7 "2000-02-10T06:42:00Z")
The Brits serve a dessert dish called “spotted dick.” I believe it’s pudding studded with currants. Uh, I’ll just have the blueberry pie, thanks. And a coffee, black. * * * Uke ---
**Author:** ![Padeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@Padeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padeye)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2000, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clintons-distinguishing-characteristic/6985/8 "2000-02-10T06:47:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by TubaDiva: > \*\*And the rumor is that Clinton has it … . I’ve also heard that he has [vitiligo](http://www.nih.gov/niams/healthinfo/vitiligo.htm), so he can be referred to as “spotted dick.” 🙂 > your humble TubaDiva > \*\* I’ll never look at English cuisine the same way again. Actually I heard he got tar on it when he was ten but I might be thinking of Pinto in _Animal House_. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2000, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clintons-distinguishing-characteristic/6985/9 "2000-02-10T06:58:00Z")
I believe it was Michael Jackson who had the vitiligo on his privates, remember after that unpleasantness with the underage boy a few years back he disappeared into a clinic for a mysterious addiction to painkillers? More like a mysterious urge to remedy the coloration of the old ding-dong, if you ask me, and no one has. As for Clinton’s curvature of the dick, doesn’t that condition make intercourse painful or impossible? Leaving oral sex a viable option? ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2000, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clintons-distinguishing-characteristic/6985/10 "2000-02-09T20:00:00Z")
Speaking of Michael Jackson, I heard his old song “Pretty Young Thing” recently. It seems a lot creepier now that when it first came out. “You know I love you, pretty young thing. . . .” ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2000, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clintons-distinguishing-characteristic/6985/11 "2000-02-09T20:54:00Z")
> [@](#): > > As for Clinton’s curvature of the dick, doesn’t that condition make intercourse painful or impossible? I suppose that would depend on the severity of the curvature. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2000, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clintons-distinguishing-characteristic/6985/12 "2000-02-09T20:55:00Z")
And what’s the deal with a thread on Clinton’s penis being started by someone named \*\*Ken[/]?!? ---
**Author:** ![KenP](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c0e974/32.png) [@KenP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KenP)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2000, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clintons-distinguishing-characteristic/6985/13 "2000-02-09T21:06:00Z")
Otto, I have no idea what your previous post means. Am I too slow today to get the joke? ---
**Author:** ![PUNdit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3da27b/32.png) [@PUNdit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PUNdit)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2000, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clintons-distinguishing-characteristic/6985/14 "2000-02-09T21:31:00Z")
## Er, Ken, Mr. Clinton had a few problems with another Ken, KenS to be more specific. “You can be smart or pleasant. For years I was smart. I recommend pleasant.” Elwood P. Dowd ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2000, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clintons-distinguishing-characteristic/6985/15 "2000-02-09T21:51:00Z")
Michael Isikoff’s new book, ‘Uncovering Clinton,’ mentions that Paula Jones said that the item in question was bent. She also said that she had only seen it for a second. Her lawyers decided that this meant he had some weird condition that makes a guy bend, I forget what it’s called. They appear to have overlooked the possibilities that he was only half turned on, or that she had seen wrong. * * * We could swoop over trees And sweep under carpets We could dive into suns Tho’ it’s not recommended ---
**Author:** ![TBone2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@TBone2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBone2)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2000, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clintons-distinguishing-characteristic/6985/16 "2000-02-10T02:06:00Z")
It’s a fine state of affairs when we SD’ers are reduced to contemplating the physical characteristics of the president’s tallywhacker. (Would “weehonker” be more ‘presidential?’) Would my male member be more memorable (drowning in m’s here…) if I were to arrange an oral sexual encounter while talking to my senator on the phone? * * * _I don’t know why fortune smiles on some and lets the rest go free…_ T ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2000, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clintons-distinguishing-characteristic/6985/17 "2000-02-10T07:15:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Er, Ken, Mr. Clinton had a few problems with another Ken, KenS to be more specific. This is probably not what Otto meant, but my first thought was of Mattel’s Ken, who only has a lump. * * * Remember, I’m pulling for you; we’re all in this together. —Red Green ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2000, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clintons-distinguishing-characteristic/6985/18 "2000-02-10T14:17:00Z")
Quote from jwg: > [@](#): > > I think that it was called Pirone’s disease, or something like that - it is supposed to curve (to the left?). Whether intentional or not, this supposition is pretty funny. I suppose Bob Dole’s dingle curves to the right. * * * The Dave-Guy “since my daughter’s only half-Jewish, can she go in up to her knees?” J.H. Marx ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2000, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clintons-distinguishing-characteristic/6985/19 "2000-02-10T14:37:00Z")
> [@](#): > > I suppose Bob Dole’s dingle curves to the right. Bob Dole’s dingle doesn’t do much of anything absent chemical stimulation. ---
**Author:** ![StrTrkr777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@StrTrkr777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StrTrkr777)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2000, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clintons-distinguishing-characteristic/6985/20 "2000-02-11T06:41:00Z")
Based on the above descriptions, maybe Paula did not see his schlong at all but what she saw was a cuban he had tucked away for later and had gotten a bit bent. Jeffery