# Cloning and Boning **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [September 12, 2000, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloning-and-boning/32884 "2000-09-12T13:46:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![quasar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/48db29/32.png) [@quasar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quasar)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloning-and-boning/32884/21 "2000-09-14T20:57:07Z")
Let’s suppose that we clone ONLY your dick and, through a new and radically inventive procedure, implant it on a gay eunuch. So, the dude is all happy that he is back in action and goes to the local gay bar, hooks up with someone and, bingo! he gets a blowjob. Now the question is: technically the guy that sucked his dick is doing it to YOUR dna. Sure, it is not physically your member but it is your very own genetic material for crying out loud. Does that make you gay? Can your cloned dick be considered as a manifestation of yourself? Could your wife accuse you of cheating? Would you feel your own dick been sucked when your eunuch buddy gets lucky? Very important questions all of them. I highly recommend you consult a specialist for the answers before attempting any dick-cloning procedure. That seems like some really nasty shit that you would be getting into! But of course that’s a highly speculative scenario. Let’s investigate more relevant matters, such as mixing cloning dicks with time travel. Let’s now imagine that this eunuch dude is a kickass scientist and invents his very own time machine. Once built and operational, he travels back in time bringing your cloned dick along for the ride plus, in the spirit of Murphy’s Law, a backup dick, which he keeps in a special cryogenic container for proper conservation. After arriving he goes to the White House and has a nice chat with his good buddy Bill Clinton. After a while he tells the president about his spare dick. Of course this gets Mr. Clinton VERY interested. You know, his thing isn’t working properly anymore, and boy, does he miss the old days when he was virile and banging all day like crazy–not that he has slowed down the pace but the results aren’t the same, if you know what I mean. So, here is the thing. Clinton buys the backup dick from the eunuch and has an operation made to dislodge his member and replace it with the new one. After the procedure he goes to the Oval Office to get a test drive, just to see if things are working properly down under. For that purpose, he summons in Monica Lewinsky and, as usual, she gets down on her four and, COWABUNGA, the president is back in the game. O.K. Nice story but, so what? Well, let’s flash forward in time–or back, in our frame of referencee–when the scandal is revealed and Congress is discussing his impeachment? Could he be impeached? Remember, it wasn’t his dick the one Monica fucked around with! On a less serious note, I have to echo John Corrado’s thoughts. If our technological advances were such as to allow us to control the flow of time and the artificial creation and breeding of biological beings, it doesn’t make sense to misuse those powers to go suck dicks in a futuristic time frame. Now, if we were to use it to get some pussy from a futuristic babe it would be a whole different matter… ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2000, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloning-and-boning/32884/22 "2000-09-15T03:19:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Revtim \* > \*\*Imagine you had an identical twin, and you were seperated at birth. You discover each other at age 30. > > “Pleased to meet you too. Now, let me wrap my lips around your shlong.” > > I don’t think so. \*\* **I** would! _deafening silence_ :o Uh… …heh heh… _tumbleweed blows past_ ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2000, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloning-and-boning/32884/23 "2000-09-15T12:25:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by heyjoe \* > \*\*somebody PLEASE make this into a sig > > Revtim: > “Pleased to meet you too. Now, let me wrap my lips around your shlong.” > > \*\* I’m going to have to insist that my name is taken off said sig… Someone already has a sig that has both “Revtim” and “stretched open rectum” in the same sentence. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2000, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloning-and-boning/32884/24 "2000-09-15T12:57:46Z")
I remember reading a book years ago about identical male twin doctors who ended up have a homosexual relationship that ended up in a murder-suicide. Can anyone remember anything more about it? ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2000, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloning-and-boning/32884/25 "2000-09-16T18:53:26Z")
What about if you make a clone, and the clone get’s a sex change operation? Can you marry them? Ahhhh!!! ---
**Author:** ![Archer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@Archer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Archer)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2000, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloning-and-boning/32884/26 "2000-09-16T21:41:50Z")
What are the possibilities of unexpected circumstances if a person went forward or back in time and interacted with themselves? Would there be some kind of warp in the space and time cycle that would cause on or both of you to expire? ---
**Author:** ![quasar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/48db29/32.png) [@quasar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quasar)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2000, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloning-and-boning/32884/27 "2000-09-17T02:47:08Z")
You should all read “The philosophy of time travel: a study in sexual perversions” It covers everything from Leonardo da Vinci’s affair with Picasso to Bill Clintons banging of Cleopatra. Plus, not to be forgotten, Freud sucking his clone’s dick. I’m telling you, the book’s got everything. It even includes a prologue by Stephen Hawking validating its claims! Off to bed now, my Marylyn Monroe clone awaits me… ---
**Author:** ![gloria](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b38774/32.png) [@gloria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gloria)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2000, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloning-and-boning/32884/28 "2000-09-17T02:50:00Z")
\*I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR: Five months, three days, 11 hours, 45 minutes and 15 seconds. 6259 cigarettes not smoked, saving $782.45. Extra life with Drain Bead: 3 weeks, 17 hours, 35 minutes. I HAVE BEEN SMOKE FREE FOR: SIX YEARS, ELEVEN DAYS, 21 HOURS, AND MINUTES AND SECONDS COULD YOU MAKE THE COUNT FOR ME ??? ---
**Author:** ![Damhna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@Damhna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damhna)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2000, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloning-and-boning/32884/29 "2000-09-17T10:50:10Z")
So perhaps someday soon it may even be possible to really have your head up your ass? ---
**Author:** ![quasar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/48db29/32.png) [@quasar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quasar)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2000, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloning-and-boning/32884/30 "2000-09-17T15:44:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gloria \* > \*\* > > \*I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR: > Five months, three days, 11 hours, 45 minutes and 15 seconds. > 6259 cigarettes not smoked, saving $782.45. > Extra life with Drain Bead: 3 weeks, 17 hours, 35 minutes. > > I HAVE BEEN SMOKE FREE FOR: > SIX YEARS, ELEVEN DAYS, 21 HOURS, AND MINUTES AND SECONDS > > COULD YOU MAKE THE COUNT FOR ME ??? \*\* How to do it? Only the devil knows… ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2000, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloning-and-boning/32884/31 "2000-09-18T18:21:26Z")
Annie Xmas- I remember reading a book years ago about identical male twin doctors who ended up have a homosexual relationship that ended up in a murder-suicide. Can anyone remember anything more about it? Sounds like Dead Ringers to me. David Cronenberg made it into a film starring Jeremy Irons. Ursula K LeGuin’s Nine Lives deals with multiple clones, some made genetically female, having sex. While a character jokingly raise the incest vs masturbation question, it sadly goes unanswered. This raises the question, why just a clone? I’d prefer a clone somehow changed from xy to xx and then aged to sexual maturity. The on;y problem here is that a female clone of myself might end up looking too much like my sister. ---
**Author:** ![Myron\_Van\_Horowitzski](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Myron\_Van\_Horowitzski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myron_Van_Horowitzski)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2000, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloning-and-boning/32884/32 "2000-09-18T19:08:48Z")
Annie’s thinking of _Twins_, by Jack Geasland and Bari Wood. I read it as a teenager, with all the dirty parts highlighted. (There were lots.) John Varley’s Eight Worlds stories are also great; “The Phantom of Kansas” particularly interesting. The heroine is being hunted down by her illegal, sex-changed clone, but in the end they fall in love. Incidentally, they were what I think Brian means by “perfect clone”…they had the same memories, they were basically the same person. In real life, the best you could get by cloning is a twin sibling. ---
**Author:** ![ShamaFrog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@ShamaFrog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShamaFrog)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2000, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloning-and-boning/32884/33 "2000-09-18T22:33:28Z")
Myron, you beat me to it 🙂 I grabbed it from a used bookstore not too long ago. what an interesting read! homicide, incest, homosexuality, drugs, suicide, drugs and spectres. what more could a girl ask for?! ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2000, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloning-and-boning/32884/34 "2000-09-19T14:36:12Z")
> [@](#): > > You transport yourself a half hour in the past (or future) and enjoy a little mutual oral gratification with yourself If I wouldn’t want a guy to suck me off now (not that there is anything wrong with that), why would I want myself to do it in the past/future? Imagine looking down and seeing your own head slurping away down there! Sure, like the line from _Clerks_: “Everyone’s tried it!” most guys have probably check their flexibility at one time or another in their lives, but that is for the penis attached, as opposed to someone else’s. Sorry if this has been mentioned elsewhere, but it seems apropos, if the clone is you, and you sucking it off is masturbation, then what would you killing it be? Suicide? As **quasar** so well described, if your clone goes off and fucks your wife/gf/SO, is she cheating with him? If your clone blasts you up the ass, as it were, would you have been sodomized, or just…well, I can’t thing of something for this one. Again, I’m with b]quasar\*\*, let’s hit the future or past and get some puss, or make some chick clones. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2000, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloning-and-boning/32884/35 "2000-09-20T04:25:39Z")
Just when I thought my library was complete! There’s always another great book out there, isn’t there? I also appreciate the fact that no one has mocked my error. Though that could be because no one reads my posts. Hmmm, another great mystery. ---
**Author:** ![Ura-Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/51bf81/32.png) [@Ura-Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ura-Maru)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2000, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloning-and-boning/32884/36 "2000-09-20T06:43:57Z")
Wasn’t this one of the questions on the old cyberpsycosis test? Something like Have you ever had sex with a cyborg? A robot? A holographic projection? A computer program? A clone? Your own clone? Heh. Wonder if they’res still a copy of that floating around . . . – “An actor prepares . . . to suck.” ---
**Author:** ![Karlz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Karlz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karlz)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2000, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloning-and-boning/32884/37 "2000-09-20T08:08:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by quasar \* > \*\*Let’s suppose that we clone ONLY your dick and, through a new and radically inventive procedure, > \*\* No Need for it it to be cloned. Just make your own dildo Look here [Create-A-Mate](http://adulttoychest.com/store/ProdInMotion.hmx?UID=5585%2D969238053%2D26531&CID=&RID=&lindex=!SE062210!0663-00!N-LC1201!0628-11!0672-04!InMotion!se057500!LC1701!M-LC1905!se211100!SE0620!HU32057!HU37038!TLC7331!se060604!SE0505!H3303-7!0619-12!DJ146001!NW105!0230!&thisprod=5&pmax=20&bdid=PP113&dname=Fun+and+Zany+Pleasure+Toys) ---
**Author:** ![LaMaxwell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e0b2c6/32.png) [@LaMaxwell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LaMaxwell)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2000, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloning-and-boning/32884/38 "2000-09-20T08:41:49Z")
This is what I get for reading SD posts this late. Images of penises flying through the space-time continuum. Now how am I going to get to sleep? My god, what would you tell your therapist? What would your _clone_ tell you therapist? Come on, be real. You know good and well you’d end up getting sued. Would it really be worth it? And how about the self-esteem issues? What if you weren’t any good?!?! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloning-and-boning/32884.md?page=1)