# Close Encounters of the Asshole Kind **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 24, 2010, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-encounters-of-the-asshole-kind/540524 "2010-05-24T01:35:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-encounters-of-the-asshole-kind/540524/21 "2010-05-24T08:06:43Z")
> [@HazelNutCoffee](#): > > This is why I am always begging my boyfriend not to provoke people even if they are assholes. Sometimes we’re on the bike and someone cuts us off without using a signal, scaring the hell out of us, and my boyfriend always shakes his fist at them when we pass them. I am terrified that one day he will shake his fist at some psycho who will run us down. **Hazel** , meet: > [@Lanzy](#): > > I had a guy on a motorcycle pull up and started screaming at me and said I was tailgating him. I honestly wasn’t but said sorry, THEN HE SPIT ON MY WIFE! He pulled in front of me giving me the finger so I ran into him. > > Go to court soon. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-encounters-of-the-asshole-kind/540524/22 "2010-05-24T09:07:33Z")
> [@OpalCat](#): > > I had a neighbor once who didn’t like our hair\* (I had a shaved head, my husband had long hair) and decided to harass us. He called a towing company, claiming to be the property manager at our townhouse development, and had our van towed (from our assigned parking spot). Twice. He also put in calls to animal control claiming that we let our dog run loose in the neighborhood (we didn’t–he got out exactly one time, as we were going from the car to the door, and we caught him maybe 4 houses away. Other than that he was ALWAYS on a leash). > \*I know this was the reason because they left a note on our front door bitching about our hair and telling us to “look at what kind of neighborhood we’d moved into.” There HAS to be a “Rest of the story”…PLEASE! ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-encounters-of-the-asshole-kind/540524/23 "2010-05-24T09:19:37Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > **Hazel** , meet: Yeah, that story made me shiver a little. Granted, my boyfriend would never spit on someone’s wife, but who knows what sets people off. Note: I’m not saying it’s okay to spit on people, but I don’t know if running into them with a vehicle is the answer. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-encounters-of-the-asshole-kind/540524/24 "2010-05-24T11:31:30Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > Dude says, ‘‘All right.’’ And then, not two beats later… ‘‘Hey, you aren’t getting smart with me, are you buddy? You better not be getting smart with me, asshole! I’m not afraid to go to jail! I’m gonna pull you out of your car and beat the shit out of you! You dumbfuck faggot! You fucking prick!’’ Etc. 1\> Write down license plate. 2\> Call Police, report threat. He’s not afraid to go to jail, so oblige him. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-encounters-of-the-asshole-kind/540524/25 "2010-05-24T12:57:56Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > There HAS to be a “Rest of the story”…PLEASE! Well, the first time they did it I called the property management company and told them about it. They decided to change towing companies. The second time it was the last day before the companies were changing, so obviously asshole neighbor decides to do it one more time while he can. I called the property management people again and this time they called the towing company and had them tow the van back to our house and we didn’t have to pay the $70 like we had the first time when we went to pick it up. I moved out when my husband and I split up, and my ex moved out as soon as he could sell the place. I must say that I didn’t shed a tear over losing those people as neighbors. Visiting my ex is much nicer now that he lives in an apartment. ---
**Author:** ![Perciful](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b38774/32.png) [@Perciful](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Perciful)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-encounters-of-the-asshole-kind/540524/26 "2010-05-24T13:04:06Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > **Shagnasty** , ugh. Recurring assholes are the worst kind. I know they are just a couple morons that just don’t sleep unless they are hammering on someone. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-encounters-of-the-asshole-kind/540524/27 "2010-05-24T17:37:41Z")
> [@Lanzy](#): > > I had a guy on a motorcycle pull up and started screaming at me and said I was tailgating him. I honestly wasn’t but said sorry, THEN HE SPIT ON MY WIFE! He pulled in front of me giving me the finger so I ran into him. > > Go to court soon. Good luck. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-encounters-of-the-asshole-kind/540524/28 "2010-05-24T18:22:41Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > 1\> Write down license plate. > 2\> Call Police, report threat. > > He’s not afraid to go to jail, so oblige him. I think I would report him for erratic driving, possibly drunk (which he well may be, behaving like that), it might get swifter attention than “he threatened to beat me up”. [QUOTE=Aanamika] Just think about how angry that man is. Think about how much it affected/affects his life. To always go around with that much anger hanging off the tip of his nose… I firmly believe, and nothing will change my mind, that angry people are not happy. He’s done nothing to your day; I mean you go home with your loving husband, etc. But he’s probably still fuming over it. [/QUOTE] I think I disagree, this didn’t sound like genuine anger, it sounds to me more like macho posturing (possibly inflated with drink, as noted above). I expect he then laughed with his buddies about what a big man he is and what a (wimp, pussy, faggot, insert your own word here) your husband was for not standing up to him. So he may well be a very unhappy person, not so much due to anger as to deep-seated issues of inadequacy. I seem to be fortunate not to encounter these kinds of assholes very often (as distinct from ordinary inconsiderate idiots). My usual response (whether they can see it or not) is a look of amazed surprise, followed by feelings of pity. Roddy ---
**Author:** ![Rumor\_Watkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@Rumor\_Watkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rumor_Watkins)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-encounters-of-the-asshole-kind/540524/29 "2010-05-24T18:31:08Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > I gave a ride home from work today to a teen friend of my daughter’s, who works at the grocery store bagging groceries and carrying them out to the customers’ cars. Devon is kind of a tough-looking guy. He said that this morning, a man who was there with his young son started bitching out his bagger, a teen girl, swearing at her, calling her an incompetent idiot and telling her she deserved to be fired. So Devon took over bagging the rest of the man’s groceries. Devon banged the eggs hard into the bottom of the bag, put the bread in next, then put the heavy stuff on top of the bread. He dropped the bags hard into the cart, took them out to the man’s SUV, slammed them harder into the back, shut the door and, looking him in the eye, said “Have a nice day.” The man didn’t do anything except get in the car with his son and leave. I’m not so sure about your post: are you intending to applaud retaliatory dickishness? ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-encounters-of-the-asshole-kind/540524/30 "2010-05-24T18:34:36Z")
> [@Rumor\_Watkins](#): > > I’m not so sure about your post: are you intending to applaud retaliatory dickishness? Why not? It takes a dick to be that obnoxious to a teenage girl who’s just doing her job (if she’s doing it badly, there are other ways to deal with it besides being an asshole about it), so why shouldn’t he get some of his own medicine? Clearly he realized his mistake, since he didn’t attempt to complain or retaliate against the boy. I certainly wouldn’t say the store management would be wrong in reprimanding the kid, though. While that kind of behavior could be enormously satisfying, it still reflects badly on the store. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-encounters-of-the-asshole-kind/540524/31 "2010-05-24T18:37:44Z")
This didn’t happen to me, but to our company IT guy, Joe. Before he worked full-time at our plant, Joe was a field tech for a company providing IT services to smaller companies all over the Atlanta metro area. One day in 1999 he was tooling around when his truck was cut off by another vehicle. Thinking it was one of those jerks who have to endanger everyone else just for the distinction of being the first to stop at the red light, Joe honked at him. The jerk jumped out of his car with a drawn handgun and took a combat shooting stance. Since this is the South, Joe had his own handgun, too, and also the advantage of his truck door as a shield. The jerk jumped back in his car and raced off. Joe called the incident in, but the cops didn’t make as massive a hunt as they could have over what looked like two jackasses pointing guns at each other. Which was too bad, since Joe had encountered Mark Barton, after Barton had killed his wife and two kids and was on his way to [killing nine more people at two day-trading offices](http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/notorious_murders/mass/work_homicide/2.html). ---
**Author:** ![Rumor\_Watkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@Rumor\_Watkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rumor_Watkins)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-encounters-of-the-asshole-kind/540524/32 "2010-05-24T18:46:59Z")
> [@winterhawk11](#): > > Why not? It takes a dick to be that obnoxious to a teenage girl who’s just doing her job (if she’s doing it badly, there are other ways to deal with it besides being an asshole about it), so why shouldn’t he get some of his own medicine? Clearly he realized his mistake, since he didn’t attempt to complain or retaliate against the boy. > > I certainly wouldn’t say the store management would be wrong in reprimanding the kid, though. While that kind of behavior could be enormously satisfying, it still reflects badly on the store. what about taking his eggs and dropping them in front of his face? instead of concealing the destruction? still cool? an asshole is still an asshole, even if he’s doing it to another asshole. as mah mamma used to say, two wrongs don’t make a right. ---
**Author:** ![Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f08c70/32.png) [@Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncle_Brother_Walker)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-encounters-of-the-asshole-kind/540524/33 "2010-05-24T19:08:54Z")
When I read the OP, I thought of [this song.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Night_of_the_Living_Rednecks) Not recently, but one time after I was hired for a new job I had to attend the first day orientation, followed by a walk to the doctor’s office to take a drug test. On the way down, I’m in a group of six ladies and myself. I’m at the back of the crowd as we go down the sort of busy downtown sidewalk. There is a guy sitting on the curb with a cup out there for donations. Everybody is passing this guy without even taking a notice of him. I don’t think I looked at him crosswise or anything, but as I passed him, he stood up and started cussing me out as I kept walking. One of the ladies I was walking with tried to figure out why this was going on, but I figure it’s just something that happens sometimes. Then he starts throwing little pebbles at me. I just kept going. I never figured it out and I didn’t care why he did it. Final outcome: I passed the drug test and went back to work. Didn’t see the guy on the way back, but I made sure to take a different sidewalk. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-encounters-of-the-asshole-kind/540524/34 "2010-05-24T19:39:07Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > Which was too bad, since Joe had encountered Mark Barton, after Barton had killed his wife and two kids and was on his way to [killing nine more people at two day-trading offices](http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/notorious_murders/mass/work_homicide/2.html). Dayum. Sounds like your buddy dodged a bullet there. This fixes it. I’m never talking to anyone ever again. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-encounters-of-the-asshole-kind/540524/35 "2010-05-24T19:48:19Z")
I once got tailed by a car for half a block, and two grown women drove at a snail’s pace and _mooed_ at me as I was jogging. And I wasn’t even fat! ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-encounters-of-the-asshole-kind/540524/36 "2010-05-24T19:51:02Z")
> [@Drain\_Bead](#): > > I once got tailed by a car for half a block, and two grown women drove at a snail’s pace and _mooed_ at me as I was jogging. And I wasn’t even fat! ‘‘Let’s see YOU run 5 miles, bitch!’’ I wouldn’t. But still. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-encounters-of-the-asshole-kind/540524/37 "2010-05-24T20:15:51Z")
Hey, I was at the Camden Aquarium on Saturday too! This guy’s behavior wasn’t as assholish as some of these stories, but it really irritated me. About six months ago my wife and I were flying from NJ to Florida for a long weekend away. We boarded the flight, my wife sat down, and I stopped to put our rolling carry-on in the overhead compartment. The compartments were pretty packed, as usual, but in the compartment right above our row there were two small briefcases, side by side, taking up space that would have been more efficiently used by rolling bags. Trying to be polite to my fellow travelers, I said “Anyone mind if I just slide these two briefcases over a bit?” A 60-something guy, sitting in the middle seat about 3 rows back, said “Leave’em right where they are, bud.” About a dozen responses quickly ran through my head, including “Well, aren’t you an asshole”, or maybe just handing him the briefcase and saying “Put it under your seat or I’m leaving it in the aisle, your choice”. But since I thought better of getting into an altercation on a plane, I found space in the compartment on the other side of the aisle. I was stewing over it the whole flight. ---
**Author:** ![Rumor\_Watkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@Rumor\_Watkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rumor_Watkins)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-encounters-of-the-asshole-kind/540524/38 "2010-05-24T20:24:36Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > This guy’s behavior wasn’t as assholish as some of these stories, but it really irritated me. About six months ago my wife and I were flying from NJ to Florida for a long weekend away. We boarded the flight, my wife sat down, and I stopped to put our rolling carry-on in the overhead compartment. The compartments were pretty packed, as usual, but in the compartment right above our row there were two small briefcases, side by side, taking up space that would have been more efficiently used by rolling bags. Trying to be polite to my fellow travelers, I said “Anyone mind if I just slide these two briefcases over a bit?” > > A 60-something guy, sitting in the middle seat about 3 rows back, said “Leave’em right where they are, bud.” In fact, it wasn’t assholish at all. You don’t have some godforsaken right to overhead cabin space, even if it maximizes efficiency. I put shit in my carryon (a true carryon, not the trips-worth luggage that people cutely believe is “carryon”) that I don’t want touched, depressed, or abutted by another bag because those articles could get damaged. You got on the plane late and overhead space was limited. Not his problem. (now I’m beginning to see how some people can feel that “casual assholishness” is on the rise, as in the “shoving” thread in this same board; it’s not that casual assholishness is on the rise, it’s that a sense of entitlement is which manifests itself as the belief that anyone’s an asshole to you if they don’t do what you want/you don’t get your way) ---
**Author:** ![Rumor\_Watkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@Rumor\_Watkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rumor_Watkins)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-encounters-of-the-asshole-kind/540524/39 "2010-05-24T20:36:49Z")
> [@Rumor\_Watkins](#): > > (now I’m beginning to see how some people can feel that “casual assholishness” is on the rise, as in the “shoving” thread in this same board… sorry, not “shoving thread” the “Fistfights thread” [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=563314](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=563314) ---
**Author:** ![redtail23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3e96dc/32.png) [@redtail23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/redtail23)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-encounters-of-the-asshole-kind/540524/40 "2010-05-24T20:55:42Z")
> [@Rumor\_Watkins](#): > > In fact, it wasn’t assholish at all. > > You don’t have some godforsaken right to overhead cabin space, even if it maximizes efficiency. I put shit in my carryon (a true carryon, not the trips-worth luggage that people cutely believe is “carryon”) that I don’t want touched, depressed, or abutted by another bag because those articles could get damaged. You got on the plane late and overhead space was limited. Not his problem. Yeah, it was. There is a limited amount of carry-on space. Just because you get there first doesn’t mean you have some godforsaken right to use an entire bin for your one little bag. If something is that delicate, then figure out a better way to pack it. Or put it under the seat, where only one bag fits anyway. > [@](#): > > (now I’m beginning to see how some people can feel that “casual assholishness” is on the rise, as in the “shoving” thread in this same board; it’s not that casual assholishness is on the rise, it’s that a sense of entitlement is which manifests itself as the belief that anyone’s an asshole to you if they don’t do what you want/you don’t get your way) Yes, I think you’re right. You think you are entitled to an exorbitant amount of space just because you got on the plane first, and you are such a special snowflake that your bag should remain pristine and untouched by mere mortals’ bags. I think that makes you an asshole. See how that works? I wouldn’t have asked anything, I would have just moved the bags over and put mine in. Or put mine on top. Or whatever. Not damaging them or anything, just making room. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-encounters-of-the-asshole-kind/540524.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-encounters-of-the-asshole-kind/540524.md?page=3)