# Close friend just got engaged.... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 20, 2010, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-friend-just-got-engaged/554364 "2010-09-20T02:55:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Burrido](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Burrido](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Burrido)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2010, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-friend-just-got-engaged/554364/1 "2010-09-20T02:55:29Z")
Do I tell him his Fiancee to be used to make passes at me the entire time they were going out? ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2010, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-friend-just-got-engaged/554364/2 "2010-09-20T02:59:36Z")
What do you mean exactly by “made passes at you”? ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2010, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-friend-just-got-engaged/554364/3 "2010-09-20T03:02:32Z")
If you didn’t think it was important enough to mention while they were dating and getting serious, why is it suddenly an issue for you _now_? ---
**Author:** ![Burrido](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Burrido](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Burrido)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2010, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-friend-just-got-engaged/554364/4 "2010-09-20T03:11:21Z")
Straight up booty call about 6 months ago. Why its a concern? They broke up and got back together about 3 times. Then they broke up, thought for good, then just out of the blue announced they are engaged. He’s a good friend, but i dont want to interfere. Maybe just disappear? ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2010, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-friend-just-got-engaged/554364/5 "2010-09-20T03:15:23Z")
> [@Burrido](#): > > Straight up booty call about 6 months ago. Was that in response to **HazelNutCoffee** or me? If you’re saying that _you_ had a booty call with this person…well, I’m just going to assume that’s not what you meant, since you’re calling the guy a close friend of yours. So in what way was this girl hitting on you? ---
**Author:** ![athelas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@athelas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/athelas)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2010, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-friend-just-got-engaged/554364/6 "2010-09-20T03:17:44Z")
> [@Asimovian](#): > > If you didn’t think it was important enough to mention while they were dating and getting serious, why is it suddenly an issue for you _now_? Because being cheated on during dating is worse than being cheated on during engagement/marriage. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2010, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-friend-just-got-engaged/554364/7 "2010-09-20T03:18:59Z")
Anything you say is going to shitting on the relationship, and to be frank the vibe I get is that you are really having a hard time keeping your mouth shut about this, to the point you are asking for opinions online. If you tell them they will BOTH hate you, not just her. His response is NOT going to be “Thanks bro, you helped me dodge that bullet!” regardless of how it’s playing out in your imagination. They will both despise you, and hate you with the fire of 10,000 suns. If that’s really what you want go for it. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2010, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-friend-just-got-engaged/554364/8 "2010-09-20T03:26:54Z")
So you’re saying that she unambiguously proposed a one-night stand with you in the past? I would try to talk to my friend and figure out why they’ve suddenly decided to get engaged after having broken up several times in the past before I opened my mouth. ---
**Author:** ![Burrido](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Burrido](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Burrido)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2010, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-friend-just-got-engaged/554364/9 "2010-09-20T03:30:38Z")
Mods, delete this please. Im drunk. Homie, I hope the best for you but I fear she will break your heart. I’ll always be there for you. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2010, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-friend-just-got-engaged/554364/10 "2010-09-20T05:10:59Z")
I wouldn’t tell my friend what went on (that’s up to his girlfriend to do, if she thinks it’s pertinent - booty calls while you’re broken up aren’t really relationship issues), but I would make myself scarce from their lives. I would never, ever be alone with her again - your history probably will come out some day (or she’ll hit on some other friends), and I just wouldn’t want to be any part of the possible drama. You can be friends with him again in two years when the marriage is over. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2010, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-friend-just-got-engaged/554364/11 "2010-09-20T06:23:59Z")
Did she _suggest_ a booty call or did you actually fuck her? If you actually fucked her you should follow **Cat** ’s advice. Have fun when she spills the beans during their next fight. ---
**Author:** ![Redpill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/58956e/32.png) [@Redpill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Redpill)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2010, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-friend-just-got-engaged/554364/12 "2010-09-20T06:38:58Z")
If you really care about his welfare, tell him exactly what happened. Does he own much property? ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2010, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-friend-just-got-engaged/554364/13 "2010-09-20T14:57:02Z")
Nobody ever benefits from getting involved in someone else’s marriage. If she really is bad, there are probably plenty of other red flags that he has chosen to ignore just like he’ll ignore anything you tell him. This is something he is going to have to figure out on his own, probably the hard way. Love makes you stupid. ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2010, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-friend-just-got-engaged/554364/14 "2010-09-20T15:09:29Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Love makes you stupid. You can say that again. If the guy hasn’t figured out that it just wasn’t meant to be after breaking up with her 3-4 times already, then what is it going to take? I’d wager there is an excellent chance that they will have yet another breakup before the wedding anyway, so maybe that’ll solve the problem. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2010, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-friend-just-got-engaged/554364/15 "2010-09-20T16:11:58Z")
> [@Burrido](#): > > Mods, delete this please. Im drunk. Homie, I hope the best for you but I fear she will break your heart. I’ll always be there for you. Which **Homie** do you mean? **HeyHomie** or **Bonhomie** or **compton\_homie**? ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2010, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-friend-just-got-engaged/554364/16 "2010-09-20T16:45:39Z")
The time to bring it up was when it happened. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2010, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-friend-just-got-engaged/554364/17 "2010-09-20T17:30:25Z")
Another vote for keep your mouth shut, and NEVER be alone with her again. ---
**Author:** ![Shark\_Sandwich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Shark\_Sandwich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shark_Sandwich)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2010, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-friend-just-got-engaged/554364/18 "2010-09-20T17:49:37Z")
> [@Burrido](#): > > Mods, delete this please. Im drunk. Homie, I hope the best for you but I fear she will break your heart. I’ll always be there for you. Sounds like someone may be attempting to drown their sorrows. Secret crush perhaps? On _her_ I mean. ---
**Author:** ![legalsnugs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@legalsnugs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/legalsnugs)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2010, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-friend-just-got-engaged/554364/19 "2010-09-20T20:06:22Z")
> [@Burrido](#): > > Do I tell him his Fiancee to be used to make passes at me the entire time they were going out? Sure. You probably have too many friends anyway. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2010, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-friend-just-got-engaged/554364/20 "2010-09-20T20:52:42Z")
If their relationship is that volatile, they probably won’t make it to the aisle anyway. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/close-friend-just-got-engaged/554364.md?page=2)