# Closeted Nut of the Week: Andrew Shirvell **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 25, 2011, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/closeted-nut-of-the-week-andrew-shirvell/568980 "2011-01-25T23:04:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![heatmiserfl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df705f/32.png) [@heatmiserfl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heatmiserfl)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2011, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/closeted-nut-of-the-week-andrew-shirvell/568980/21 "2011-01-26T19:10:09Z")
> [@Myrnalene](#): > > If institutionalized homophobia really was just some gay-on-gay culture war, that would let us straight people right off the hook. > > So every time some piece of crap like Chick or Phelps or Shrivell starts mouthing off, make sure that we as good straight liberal allies use it as an opportunity to sit around and crack homo jokes and blame the gays for their own oppression. > > That’s the ticket. **Myrnalene** , you’re also needed in this thread ([OK you made your point, fat boy: NOW MOVE THE FUCKING CAR - The BBQ Pit - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=594662)). If you ignore it, people are gonna think you hate fat people. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2011, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/closeted-nut-of-the-week-andrew-shirvell/568980/22 "2011-01-26T20:19:12Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > If Mike Hunt married Mike Cox, would that be considered polygamous? Nah. Hermaphroditic auto-eroticism. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2011, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/closeted-nut-of-the-week-andrew-shirvell/568980/23 "2011-01-26T20:22:00Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > If Mike Hunt married Mike Cox, would that be considered polygamous? Only if Hugh Jass makes a third. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2011, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/closeted-nut-of-the-week-andrew-shirvell/568980/24 "2011-01-26T20:24:41Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#): > > Nah. Hermaphroditic auto-eroticism. That’s [del]hot[/del] an outrage. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/closeted-nut-of-the-week-andrew-shirvell/568980/25 "2011-01-27T01:55:06Z")
> [@Ike\_Witt](#): > > Closeted raging lunatic. No question. I tried watching that this morning and found it painful. I just would really love to know what issue Shirvell really does have with Armstrong. > > Is the radical gay agenda fighting with the regular gay agenda? Oy. Now there’s a regular AND a radical agenda? I can’t even get a copy of one of the damn things. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/closeted-nut-of-the-week-andrew-shirvell/568980/26 "2011-01-27T06:42:05Z")
> [@Antinor01](#): > > Oy. Now there’s a regular AND a radical agenda? There’s also Diet, Cherry, and Sparkling. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/closeted-nut-of-the-week-andrew-shirvell/568980/27 "2011-01-27T17:50:51Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > There’s also…Cherry Only for a while… > [@](#): > > and Sparkling. I thought the Board decided to call that “FABULOUS!” Or “Johnny Weir!” ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/closeted-nut-of-the-week-andrew-shirvell/568980/28 "2011-01-27T18:22:11Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > Mike Hunt is tired of hearing all those jokes. Mike Hunt likes this. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/closeted-nut-of-the-week-andrew-shirvell/568980/29 "2011-01-27T18:57:46Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > I thought the Board decided to call that “FABULOUS!” > > Or “Johnny Weir!” No, it’s the [Bobby Trendy](http://evilbeetgossip.film.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/14094861spasulka525200752427pm.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/closeted-nut-of-the-week-andrew-shirvell/568980/30 "2011-01-27T19:07:13Z")
> [@Myrnalene](#): > > If institutionalized homophobia really was just some gay-on-gay culture war, that would let us straight people right off the hook. > > So every time some piece of crap like Chick or Phelps or Shrivell starts mouthing off, make sure that we as good straight liberal allies use it as an opportunity to sit around and crack homo jokes and blame the gays for their own oppression. > > That’s the ticket. You may dislike the implications of the fact that “vocal homophobia” and “closet case” are very strongly correlated, but that has no effect on the fact itself, or on the usefulness of the fact in undermining bigots. ---
**Author:** ![AqualungBats5th](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6bbea6/32.png) [@AqualungBats5th](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AqualungBats5th)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/closeted-nut-of-the-week-andrew-shirvell/568980/31 "2011-01-27T19:40:50Z")
> [@Steve\_MB](#): > > You may dislike the implications of the fact that “vocal homophobia” and “closet case” are very strongly correlated Can you show that this is true? Yes, we have a great many examples among conservative Republicans and church leaders, but what about regular people? But look, if we’re going to throw out anecdotes here most of the most strongly anti-gay people I’ve known in my life have been straight. And not closest-cases, either. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/closeted-nut-of-the-week-andrew-shirvell/568980/32 "2011-01-27T19:53:23Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > There’s also Diet, Cherry, and Sparkling. There used to be Unleaded but Viagra fixed that. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/closeted-nut-of-the-week-andrew-shirvell/568980/33 "2011-01-27T19:55:55Z")
> [@AqualungBats5th](#): > > Can you show that this is true? Yes, we have a great many examples among conservative Republicans and church leaders, but what about regular people? But look, if we’re going to throw out anecdotes here most of the most strongly anti-gay people I’ve known in my life have been straight. And not closest-cases, either. Only one study (one that needs to be repeated) so who knows how indicative it is, but [I’ll link anyway](http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_fuel2.htm). I’d love to see similar ones conducted in other regions of the country. ---
**Author:** ![Myrnalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@Myrnalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrnalene)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/closeted-nut-of-the-week-andrew-shirvell/568980/34 "2011-01-27T19:57:07Z")
> [@Steve\_MB](#): > > or on the usefulness of the fact in undermining bigots. Generally this seems to translate (as it has to an extent in this thread) to straight people making fun of the target’s voice and mannerisms, or throwing around jokes about showtunes and interior design, or using slurs. Hint: that stuff is still problematic and “lol I was just doing it because it bothers the guy I’m talking about, I’m on the ~GOOD~ side” is a shitty excuse for it. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/closeted-nut-of-the-week-andrew-shirvell/568980/35 "2011-01-27T20:07:12Z")
> [@Myrnalene](#): > > Generally this seems to translate (as it has to an extent in this thread) to straight people making fun of the target’s voice and mannerisms, or throwing around jokes about showtunes and interior design, or using slurs. Hint: that stuff is still problematic and “lol I was just doing it because it bothers the guy I’m talking about, I’m on the ~GOOD~ side” is a shitty excuse for it. I don’t see a need to make an “excuse” for puncturing hypocrisy, or introducing the opposition’s spleen to the business end of the sword by which the opposition has been living. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2011, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/closeted-nut-of-the-week-andrew-shirvell/568980/36 "2011-01-28T03:12:22Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Only one study (one that needs to be repeated) so who knows how indicative it is, but [I’ll link anyway](http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_fuel2.htm). I’d love to see similar ones conducted in other regions of the country. Could be a challenge to set the study up, the internet being far more ubiquitous today than in 1996. > [@](#): > > A study that appears to reveal a major cause of homophobia was completed at the University of Georgia in 1996. 3 It involved 64 white men, none of whom had engaged in homosexual acts during their lifetime. Their sexual fantasies involved only women. 35 of them were rated homophobic; 29 non-homophobic. For the purpose of this study, “homophobia” was defined as a negative emotional reaction (e.g., fear, anxiety, anger, discomfort) to homosexuality. It was measured by a questionnaire called the Index of Homophobia. Each was shown three types of X rated videotapes: heterosexual, lesbian and gay. A plethysmograph measuring device (affectionately called a “peter meter”) measured the circumference of their penis as a gauge of sexual arousal. > > The two groups exhibited similar arousal when they viewed 4 minute samples taken from one heterosexual and one lesbian movie. But they responded differently to the male homosexual clip: These days, the more likely response to _all_ of the clips would probably be: “Seen it.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2011, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/closeted-nut-of-the-week-andrew-shirvell/568980/37 "2011-05-01T01:56:47Z")
Bump. Chris Armstrong, or as Shirvell called him the “Gay Nazi abortion-loving God mocking KKK grandmaster representative of Satan on Earth and host of homosexual dorm orgies” (which in fairness is part of the University of Michigan student body president’s list of official titles) is suing Shirvell for damages in a civil suit now in addition to seeking his disbarment. The [civil suit papers](http://www.annarbor.com/Filed%20Complaint%20%26%20Jury%20Demand.pdf) bring to light some antics from Shirvell’s past that are somewhat jarring. (Shirvell is apparently living in upstate New York now.) Highlights: > [@](#): > > Defendant has had to be pulled off of other students during his time as a student at the University of Michigan when those students challenged his leadership of a student group. Admittedly that sounds like they were asking for it. And how you gonna keep your position of Vice-President of the Audio Video Club if you take dissing? > [@](#): > > Defendant was arrested for assault and battery of a University of a fellow Michigan student. He later pled no contest, was put on probation and fined. > > === > > As Andrew Shirvell prepared to graduate from Ave Maria School of Law, a group of administrators and faculty raised concerns that he “lacked the character and fitness” necessary to be a lawyer It also gives several thinly veiled threats and examples of harassing other people and casts his repeated comparisons of Armstrong to Harvey Milk in a more threatening like when coupled with things like (actual quote) “You’re going down fruity pebbles”. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2011, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/closeted-nut-of-the-week-andrew-shirvell/568980/38 "2011-05-01T02:12:05Z")
It’s like like Shirvell kind of goes beyond the garden variety, hypocritical bigot category into “crazy as a shithouse mouse” territory. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2011, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/closeted-nut-of-the-week-andrew-shirvell/568980/39 "2011-05-01T02:28:41Z")
He sho is crazy. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2011, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/closeted-nut-of-the-week-andrew-shirvell/568980/40 "2011-05-01T02:30:38Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > (actual quote) “You’re going down fruity pebbles”. Huh. I say that every morning at breakfast. Well, except on days when I have Franken Berry. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/closeted-nut-of-the-week-andrew-shirvell/568980.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/closeted-nut-of-the-week-andrew-shirvell/568980.md?page=3)