# Cloverfield - dear god that sucked (spoilers) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 27, 2008, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774 "2008-05-27T16:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2008, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/1 "2008-05-27T16:10:42Z")
Ok, I say spoilers even though I’m probably the last person on the dope to actually see the movie. Anyway, as the thread title says…that movie sucked. Really really hard. (note, I didn’t really follow the threads when this first came out so probably missed other people noting the same suckitude) Rather than drone on, I will simply list some of the things that left me feeling cold. 1. The non-stop shaky cam. It was an interesting idea, but way overdone. I’m glad I saw this at home instead of in the theater because that probably would have made me sick. 2. The everlasting videotape. I mean seriously, I want that camera. 7+ freaking hours of battery life! 3. What does it take to kill the cast? Take the love interest (Beth was it?) First her building gets tipped over, she has some kind of metal rod stuck through her chest that they pull out, goes running through Manhatten, survives a helicopter crash and then may or may not have died when a bridge collapsed on her. I mean, come on! 4. Speaking of Beth’s building, that whole scene took my suspension of disbelief and beat it like a rented mule. My summary comes down to this. It’s sad when the least unbelievable thing in a monster movie is the gigantic monster stomping through NYC. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2008, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/2 "2008-05-27T16:20:46Z")
Well, I think that they did switch the camera off in between scenes–obviously, the tape wasn’t seven hours long. Other than that, yeah, it’s unbelievable, but I think those kinds of things are the ones you have to accept in this sort of movie. If you nitpick everything, you’re not really going to enjoy it, are you? ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2008, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/3 "2008-05-27T16:22:12Z")
I didn’t think it was that bad. I pretty much ignore the everlasting videorecorder with forever batteries as a requirement for the movie. What I don’'t like is the blatant overkill of the monsters. I just can’t buy the completely indestructible monster Rodney\* that withstands not only carpet bombing, but also a nuke. Gimme a break. And the parasitic “whale lice” were a nice touch, but did they have to pile on with making their bite causing you to explode? Talk about overkill. I also hate pointless and infinite backstory. You need backstory to have a consistent and believable universe for your story, but Abrams and company seem to love infinitely deep background that serves no conceivable purpose. I don’t particularly care for **Lost** , partly for the same reason. \*My name for the creature, as in Rodney Cloverfield. Someone else on this Board dubbed him “Snookums”, but apparently the folks making the film called him “Clover”. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2008, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/4 "2008-05-27T16:26:22Z")
Meh, the conceit of found, unedited footage that coincidentally conveys a coherant narrative _is_ unlikely - but it was watchable and interesting. I don’t want to see _Andy Warhol’s Godzilla_. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2008, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/5 "2008-05-27T16:27:38Z")
Huh. I just saw it the other day, and I didn’t think it sucked\*. Maybe because my expectatations were so low. I mean sure, it was ridiculous, but that’s kind of the _point_, isn’t it? \*Entirely. I mean, the character setup was way too long, and yeah, I’m surprised they didn’t just have Indestructable Beth take the damned thing on, but… ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2008, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/6 "2008-05-27T16:27:56Z")
[QUOTE=Freudian Slit] Well, I think that they did switch the camera off in between scenes–obviously, the tape wasn’t seven hours long. Other than that, yeah, it’s unbelievable, but I think those kinds of things are the ones you have to accept in this sort of movie. If you nitpick everything, you’re not really going to enjoy it, are you? [/QUOTE] I can take some disbelief, like I said the least unbelievable thing was Rodney (thanks Cal!). But if you’re going to set something in the ‘real world’ then it should at least follow a few of the basic laws of the real universe. I can accept a monster movie where a huge unknown thing plays golf with the Statue of Liberty’s head. I can’t accept a movie where…well most of the rest of the movie. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2008, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/7 "2008-05-27T16:44:57Z")
I saw it for the first time about a week and a half ago. Glad I didn’t pay to see it in the theater. Was there any hint at all as to where “Rodney” originated? That one good look at it’s face, near the end, what did other folks think it may have been a mutant of. I got the impression in was mammalian, not lizardlike. ---
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2008, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/8 "2008-05-27T16:57:08Z")
[QUOTE=Baker] IWas there any hint at all as to where “Rodney” originated? That one good look at it’s face, near the end, what did other folks think it may have been a mutant of. I got the impression in was mammalian, not lizardlike. [/QUOTE] In the few seconds of footage at the end, where their at the theme park, theres a splash in the background, suggesting the thing crashed down in the water, presumably from space. But nothing more explicit. > [@Cal](#): > > I just can’t buy the completely indestructible monster Rodney\* that withstands not only carpet bombing, but also a nuke. Gimme a break. We don’t know if it survives the nuke, do we? Their evacuating the city in preparation for nuking, but we never learn if Rodney survives (indeed, the fact that the military later got to Central Park and recovered the camera suggests that the nuke was effective). It does shrug off carpet bombing a lot easier then one would think a biological organism should be able to, but then, if conventional bombing killed it, it would be a lot shorter movie. FWIW, I really liked the movie. My favorite of the “giant monster destroys city” genre, I think. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2008, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/9 "2008-05-27T16:59:40Z")
On wiki, they talk about him being underwater for years and that he’s a baby, and that’s why he’s behaving so badly–he’s cranky and scared, and probably wants his mom. > **[Clover (creature)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cloverfield_%28creature%29)** > > Clover is the production name given to the giant monster who first appeared in the 2008 science fiction film Cloverfield. Also known as The Cloverfield Monster, the creature was originally conceived by producer J. J. Abrams and was designed by artist Neville Page. In the film, the monster's name is never mentioned; the name "Cloverfield" is only given to the US Department of Defense case file of the incidents depicted in the film. The Department of Defense names the creature "LSA" for Large The m... > [@](#): > > Abrams described the creature as a “baby” who has been underwater for thousands of years that emerges “confused, disoriented, and irritable”.[12] Goddard pointed out the lack of explanation in the film of the creature’s origin was deliberate. Reeves described the creature’s reaction to its surroundings thus: “It’s this new environment that it finds frightening”. To indicate this, Reeves suggested the addition of white in the creature’s eyes so it would look similar to a horse being spooked.[12] The filmmakers generated and used the idea of parasites because the film could not realistically have scenes between the human protagonists and the enormous creature.[12] Mine, too, **Simplico** , and I usually hate this genre of film. It genuinely scared me and the monster itself…really kind of got to me. I love how you rarely get to see it straight on. ---
**Author:** ![Shawn1767](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Shawn1767](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shawn1767)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2008, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/10 "2008-05-27T17:09:58Z")
Why does anyone assume the camera was working non-stop for 7 hours? The “recovered” footage only lasts around 90 minutes, otherwise, wouldn’t we be watching a 7 hour movie? Yeah, at the end, he says that the event began 7 hours ago, but they weren’t taping the whole time. Heck, the battery on my camera lasts for weeks in between times when I’m recording. And I’ve looked for the “splash” several times at the end. I’ve not seen it. All I’ve seen is a white boat that could be mistaken for a splash. Any official word on the “splash” from the movie makers? Otherwise, I don’t think it’s there. And seeing it in the theater definitely gave me a feeling of “holy shit, what the hell is going on?” confusion that I thought was great because it actually made me creeped out. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2008, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/11 "2008-05-27T17:14:29Z")
I loved Cloverfield. I really don’t know what else to say about your OP. I thought it was fantastic and can’t wait for the inevitable sequel. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2008, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/12 "2008-05-27T17:16:49Z")
> [@](#): > > We don’t know if it survives the nuke, do we? No, the clear implication of the reversed words at the end are that Rodney did survive the nuke. Even if he didn’t, though, his invulnerability is sufficiently absurd. > [@](#): > > but then, if conventional bombing killed it, it would be a lot shorter movie. It’s worth pointing out that they considered this very point in the case of the very first 1950s Giant Monster Atacks the City movies – the one that established all the cliches (creature awakened by man’s meddling with nuclear forces, brave young scientist and beautiful female lead, Monster attacking mretropolis and militasry unable to stop it), and came up with a plausible reason for it. Came up with a reason for the monster to go into a heavy urban area (which creatures generally avoid), too. Look up **The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms** sometime. Cloverfield, on the other hand, reminds me a heckuva lot of **Gorgo**. ---
**Author:** ![nevermore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a587f6/32.png) [@nevermore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nevermore)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2008, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/13 "2008-05-27T17:23:06Z")
I think it’s strange that most of the people I know who hate this movie hate it because they find insignificant plot devices to be totally unrealistic in a fucking MONSTER MOVIE. Who the fuck cares if it’s not realistic? Don’t you get enough reality in, like, _reality_? I guess it’s a sentiment I just don’t understand. I go to the movies to be entertained, not to be presented with an exact replica of logical human behavior in any conceivable situation. How dull. ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2008, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/14 "2008-05-27T17:23:42Z")
I liked it except for the shakiness; made me seasick. I would have gladly accepted, as a cinematic convention, an unrealistic level of smoothness in the image (and don’t they make digital cameras with an electronic Steadicam-like feature?) ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2008, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/15 "2008-05-27T17:27:44Z")
> [@](#): > > Who the fuck cares if it’s not realistic? Don’t you get enough reality in, like, reality? Well, no. I pretty much expect even fantastic fiction and movies to adhere to certain rules. If it’s not rooted at least somewhat in reality, you can’t understand it or relate to it. Admit it – it’d bother the _hell_ out of you if the Good Guys finally defeated Rodney by hitting him on the head with a Magic Feather, wouldn’t it? How much stretching of reality you’ll buy varies from person to person. Being a hardcore SF fan, I usually want a little more adhrerence to reality. But _De Gustibus…_ and all. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2008, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/16 "2008-05-27T17:28:45Z")
Abrams is now going around saying “Nope, no sequel, the bombs got him”. We’ll see. He’s busy for a couple of years, so he has no incentive to revisit. If things start to get tight for him and/or his career fizzles, we may well see _Cloverfield 2, Electric Boogaloo_. For the record, I watched that scene several times looking for it and didn’t see any “splash”. I was glad I was watching at home, so I could fast-forward through all the party/setup crap at the beginning. Figured the parasite bites were like spider bites, where you are injected with stuff that starts to digest you from within. Thought it would have been a lot more effective if, when the guy got grabbed/bitten by Rodney near the end; if you only saw a severed hand fall next to the camcorder. Meaning he’d been eaten and not just grabbed and dropped. ---
**Author:** ![holmes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e95f7d/32.png) [@holmes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/holmes)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2008, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/17 "2008-05-27T17:30:24Z")
[QUOTE=CalMeacham] Even if he didn’t, though, his invulnerability is sufficiently absurd. [/QUOTE] That’s the thing that really bugged me. If the parasites that are living off him; I’m assuming they’re drinking his blood; then there’s no way that the the type of stuff the army is hitting him, with isn’t going to injure him. Even assuming that the mites have some sort of “acid” or predigestive chemicals in their bite, which is what causes people to explode; the amounts required to penetrate the monster’s hide ( if the monster is tough enough to resist carpet bombing), should have caused people to dissolve instantly and not run around for some time; even with a minor bite…which the character didn’t have. I know there’s a tendacity to get pissed at people who refuse to suspend their reality when watching a movie who’s very core requires such a suspension; but I don’t see why people can’t question whether or not the movie is consistent with the reality that it’s created for itself. YMMV…of course. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2008, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/18 "2008-05-27T17:33:21Z")
[QUOTE=Simplicio] We don’t know if it survives the nuke, do we? Their evacuating the city in preparation for nuking, but we never learn if Rodney survives (indeed, the fact that the military later got to Central Park and recovered the camera suggests that the nuke was effective). It does shrug off carpet bombing a lot easier then one would think a biological organism should be able to, but then, if conventional bombing killed it, it would be a lot shorter movie. [/QUOTE] Why does everyone thing there was a nuke? If there was a nuke the camera would have been vaporized. ---
**Author:** ![MeanJoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanjoe/32/5693_2.png) [@MeanJoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanJoe)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2008, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/19 "2008-05-27T17:36:45Z")
I rented it over the weekend and viewed it with very low expectations based upon reviews and comments from others who had seen it during the theatrical release. I was pleasantly surprised at how good it was. I found myself getting caught up in the “What the f–k is going on???” confusion that the characters were experiencing. Each brief glimpse of Roger/Snookums/Clove left me wanting more answers to what it was and what was happening. Yes, there were plot holes and contrived situations. The entire rescue Beth story bugged me since it was such a cliched scenario but I thought about a guy whose world just fell apart and he lost his brother and he is probably desperate to a.) cling to a cause/objective and b.) not lose another person he loves. Aaaaanyway, I dug it much more than I expected and I may buy it on DVD for future viewings. MeanJoe ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2008, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/20 "2008-05-27T17:41:28Z")
[QUOTE=nevermore] I think it’s strange that most of the people I know who hate this movie hate it because they find insignificant plot devices to be totally unrealistic in a fucking MONSTER MOVIE. Who the fuck cares if it’s not realistic? Don’t you get enough reality in, like, _reality_? I guess it’s a sentiment I just don’t understand. I go to the movies to be entertained, not to be presented with an exact replica of logical human behavior in any conceivable situation. How dull. [/QUOTE] I don’t expect exact reality, but at least give me a reason for why things detract significantly from reality. For example, I am a major Buffy fan. The reality in that series is…well really lacking. But they setup why. I can accept giant monster decides to rampage through NYC. That’s cool. I do not accept girl gets spike through chest which they pull her off of with no medical intervention, girl then goes running around NYC, girl then survives helicopter crash. (which BTW, why didn’t they put the girl that by all rights should be critically injured in the FIRST chopper?) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774.md?page=2)