# Cloverfield - dear god that sucked (spoilers) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 27, 2008, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774 "2008-05-27T16:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/61 "2008-05-28T16:49:12Z")
> [@](#): > > Their thoughts on bombing the monster: > > Quote: > A deep sea monster will not have any of the air-filled organs possessed by humans. So the primary blast damage is likely to be minimal (maybe a swim bladder… maybe not). No blown ear-drums or collapsed lungs. Secondary damage from debris will also be negligible, unless you deliberately set up the geometry of the attack so that a nearby building is converted into shrapnel which strikes the beast. As for tertiary damage… well, a 100,000 ton monster is not going to be thrown too far. > > I’m sure someone smarter than me can chime in on how right or wrong Wired’s thinking is here. I’m thinking that if a bomb falls directly on your monster’s exterior and explodes with considerable force, the heat, pressure, and shrapnel will excavate a fair portion of its epidermis of fracture its chitin. The hell with any air-filled or water-filled bladders, one direct impact bomb ought to shred and remove a lot of organic material and leave a big gaping hole where part of a monster used to be, destroying its structural integrity, causing trauma, and letting essential monster internal organs and bodily fluids leak out. Hit the monster with a lot of these (along with various other bits of ordnance, as the film shows, and eventually your monster is going to become dysfunctional,. Except Rodney didn’t. ---
**Author:** ![holmes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e95f7d/32.png) [@holmes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/holmes)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/62 "2008-05-28T17:25:20Z")
My other question was how was the thing able to move? I mean gravity counts for something right? 100,000 tons in water is a lot different than 100, 000 tons on land and the thing was able to move very quickly. I hate being a nit-picker and I swear I usually don’t do this, but the movie bugged me in a really weird way. ---
**Author:** ![ArizonaTeach](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/45deac/32.png) [@ArizonaTeach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArizonaTeach)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/63 "2008-05-28T17:58:10Z")
[QUOTE=CalMeacham] No, the clear implication of the reversed words at the end are that Rodney did survive the nuke. [/QUOTE] [Yes, he’s dead.](http://tagruato.blogspot.com/2008/05/yes-hes-dead.html) ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/64 "2008-05-28T18:14:47Z")
I enjoyed the movie and feel I have no reason to defend that position. I don’t understand all the nitpicking about the monster and parasites. The movie was made from the perspective of some dudes. Of course there will be no explaination. If you want fake scifi explainations watch the classic Japanese monster movies. They show you what the scientists and generals are thinking. Cloverfield does not. In fact I hate the baby monster talk from Abrams. From watching some of the DVD extras it seemed that he was just trying to provide a base for the FX coordinator to work from when he designed the monster, not actual plot points. The fact that the monster was a confused juvenile is not in the movie, therefore it does not exist. ---
**Author:** ![holmes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e95f7d/32.png) [@holmes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/holmes)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/65 "2008-05-28T18:30:09Z")
I don’t think anyone’s asking you to defend your position. We all have the right to watch a movie and decide whether or not it works for us and to discuss why it did or didn’t. This isn’t an attack against anyone who liked the film. The OP had a problem with the film, some of us had problems with it for different reasons; none of which should change whether or you enjoyed it or not. It didn’t work for me on lots of levels, but my main issue was the biology. Like some of the others, I did read some of the virtual campaign stuff and that may have put the movie on a higher level for me than the average person; I don’t know. I do know I was disappointed in it. YMMV, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/66 "2008-05-28T18:58:26Z")
[QUOTE=holmes] It didn’t work for me on lots of levels, but my main issue was the biology. Like some of the others, I did read some of the virtual campaign stuff and that may have put the movie on a higher level for me than the average person; I don’t know. [/QUOTE] I saw a little of the viral stuff and thought it was more boring than those campaigns usually are. Which is pretty boring. I didn’t bother with it. For full disclosure, I saw the movie on a wide screen TV. The shakycam didn’t bother me. If I saw it in the theater maybe it would have been different. ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/67 "2008-05-28T19:00:53Z")
[QUOTE=CalMeacham] I’m thinking that if a bomb falls directly on your monster’s exterior and explodes with considerable force, the heat, pressure, and shrapnel will excavate a fair portion of its epidermis of fracture its chitin. The hell with any air-filled or water-filled bladders, one direct impact bomb ought to shred and remove a lot of organic material and leave a big gaping hole where part of a monster used to be, destroying its structural integrity, causing trauma, and letting essential monster internal organs and bodily fluids leak out. Hit the monster with a lot of these (along with various other bits of ordnance, as the film shows, and eventually your monster is going to become dysfunctional,. Except Rodney didn’t. [/QUOTE] Wow, I’ll bet you’d write the neatest monster movie! -Joe ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/68 "2008-05-28T19:06:59Z")
I was going to also say that if _I_ wanted to nitpick it would be about the imposibility of getting a heavy armor force into Manhatten in a couple of hours. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/69 "2008-05-28T19:25:23Z")
[QUOTE=ArizonaTeach] [Yes, he’s dead.](http://tagruato.blogspot.com/2008/05/yes-hes-dead.html) [/QUOTE] I have to agree with Loach, though, on one issue; If it’s not in the movie, then it did not happen. Even if J.J. Abrams says otherwise, the monster didn’t die in the movie; unless they make a sequel in which it’s mentioned or shown that it died, it didn’t die, insofar as the alternate universe of “Cloverfield” goes. Of course, in addition to not dying after the movie ended, it also did not survive; it’s Schroedinger’s Monster if and until another movie continues the story and answers the question. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/70 "2008-05-28T19:36:18Z")
New from Bad Robot Productions: \*Schroedinger’s Monster \* starring Nicole Kidman as Dr Kitty Schroedinger. ---
**Author:** ![HenryGale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b782af/32.png) [@HenryGale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HenryGale)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/71 "2008-05-28T19:44:40Z")
[QUOTE=CalMeacham] Hit the monster with a lot of these (along with various other bits of ordnance, as the film shows, and eventually your monster is going to become dysfunctional,. Except Rodney didn’t. [/QUOTE] Is all this talk… [QUOTE=Wired] It’s difficult to make accurate assumptions about 500 foot-tall fictional monsters whose very existence violates the laws of physics. But it’s liable to have skin, scales or other outer with protective blubber or equivalent covering several feet thick. This will absorb anything except apart from an armor-piercing round. Flesh, like water, can stop virtually any projectile within a few feet – that’s why you need something very exotic like a supercavitating round if you want to go through a lot of it [/QUOTE] ..bunk then? That’s disappointing. It sort of fell in place with the way I suspend my own disbelief for giant-monster movies. Eh, oh well. It’s an implausible movie in an implausible genre with a long line of implausible predecessors… I still thought it was fun. ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/72 "2008-05-28T20:00:40Z")
[QUOTE=HenryGale] Is all this talk… ..bunk then? That’s disappointing. It sort of fell in place with the way I suspend my own disbelief for giant-monster movies. Eh, oh well. It’s an implausible movie in an implausible genre with a long line of implausible predecessors… I still thought it was fun. [/QUOTE] But we could have some really cool thirty second monster movies! Scientist Guy: Godzirra is attacking! Whatever will we do? General: I had a plane drop a bomb on it before he got two blocks into the city. It’s been dead for an hour now. Wasn’t that exciting? Can I have $9 from all readers of this thread? Thanks. -Joe ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/73 "2008-05-28T20:14:50Z")
> [@](#): > > ..bunk then? That’s disappointing. It sort of fell in place with the way I suspend my own disbelief for giant-monster movies. Damned if I know. But look at the infamous footage of them blowing up the Whale on the beach (referred to by Dave Barry, and at several places on YouTube). Add explosive to heavily blubbered undersea creature and the result is a rain of heavy chunks of blubber. Here’s one: ![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/Y0Xh9n2-Sp0/maxresdefault.jpg)https://www.youtube.com/embed/Y0Xh9n2-Sp0?feature=oembed&wmode=opaque ---
**Author:** ![HenryGale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b782af/32.png) [@HenryGale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HenryGale)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/74 "2008-05-28T22:42:19Z")
[QUOTE=CalMeacham] Damned if I know. But look at the infamous footage of them blowing up the Whale on the beach (referred to by Dave Barry, and at several places on YouTube). Add explosive to heavily blubbered undersea creature and the result is a rain of heavy chunks of blubber. Here’s one: ![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/Y0Xh9n2-Sp0/maxresdefault.jpg)https://www.youtube.com/embed/Y0Xh9n2-Sp0?feature=oembed&wmode=opaque [/QUOTE] Didn’t they load their charges inside the whale? Experiment: Light a firecracker. Hold it on top of your flat hand. Swear profusely after it goes off. Light a second one. Hold it in your closed fist. Have a friend dial 911… you won’t have enough fingers. Anyway, it’s probably fanwankery, but that’s how I suspend my disbelief when Godzilla (or Rodney) doesn’t go down in the first round… It’s not so much a problem of payload size as one of penetration. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/75 "2008-05-28T22:57:21Z")
[QUOTE=Shawn1767] And I’ve looked for the “splash” several times at the end. I’ve not seen it. All I’ve seen is a white boat that could be mistaken for a splash. Any official word on the “splash” from the movie makers? Otherwise, I don’t think it’s there. [/QUOTE] Just going back to this for a second. I had never heard of this splash thing before this thread. I just went back and looked. I have no idea how I missed it. It isn’t even very subtle. It is there. To the left of the white boat. You see an object falling from the sky and then an obvious splash in the water. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2008, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/76 "2008-05-29T01:07:29Z")
> [@](#): > > Didn’t they load their charges inside the whale? > > Experiment: > > Light a firecracker. Hold it on top of your flat hand. Swear profusely after it goes off. > > Light a second one. Hold it in your closed fist. Have a friend dial 911… you won’t have enough fingers. > > Anyway, it’s probably fanwankery, but that’s how I suspend my disbelief when Godzilla (or Rodney) doesn’t go down in the first round… It’s not so much a problem of payload size as one of penetration. I think they put it between the whale and the beach, but I don’t know. Don’t try your experiment with an M-80 ---
**Author:** ![Crocodiles\_And\_Boulevards](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ee7513/32.png) [@Crocodiles\_And\_Boulevards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crocodiles_And_Boulevards)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2008, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/77 "2008-05-29T01:33:14Z")
[QUOTE=Crocodiles And Boulevards] You really can’t nitpick some of these things to death without it getting comical. I mean, if we’re going into the realm of honest-to-goodness reality, then a giant monster simply _cannot_ exist without being ridiculously strong. Normal flesh, organs, and bones are not prepared to service something that big. There’s a reason giant steel girders and concrete columns crumble under the weight of collapsing buildings, you know. If a creature that big existed, I’m pretty sure his skeleton would need to be considerably stronger than steel or any other material we’ve come up with _just to walk_. To be nitpicky, how does he breathe? What must the muscles involved in that be like? How does he maintain equal blood pressure to all of his massive body? . [/QUOTE] I hate to quote myself, but I keep seeing the nitpick that bombs should have hurt the big ol’ monster. To reiterate, how unbelievably strong would his flesh, bones, and muscles have to be just to support a 500 foot tall monster that can both run and jump without hurting itself? By all rights, it should collapse on itself! ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2008, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/78 "2008-05-29T01:44:39Z")
Sorry – I know the monster would have to be almost unbelievably tough (and, to their credit, Rodney isn’t just a really big ant or something – he’s designed like something that’s big and heavy, although I still can’t buy the cube-square law as applying to him. Nevertheless, tough _isn’t_ invulnerable. Even if he’s got Great Big Bones in his Great Big Legs, yjat relatively flexible tissue in those pumping things in his head and his eyes are gonna get shredded by repeated hits. The blast effects from all those explosions and flames are gonna toast his mouth and airways. Godzilla I don’t take seriously, but there are limits to my suspension of disbelief. A monster subjected to modern weapons of war is going to get shredded, And I feel the same wayy about vampires, too. Bullet holes in the vampire that don’t stop him? Phhht! What happens when you hit a vampire with a flechette gun? You’re gonna get little piles of bloddy vampire bits. Oh, yeah – M-80s. And REAL high explosives are orders of magnitude more effective: > **[PyroUniverse.com is for sale | HugeDomains](https://www.hugedomains.com/domain_profile.cfm?d=pyrouniverse.com)** > > Stress free and easy shopping experience. Simple and speedy service. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2008, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/79 "2008-05-29T01:46:05Z")
Cloverfield was named because the tape was found in a field of clover in Central Park. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2008, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774/80 "2008-05-29T02:26:35Z")
> [@](#): > > It looked like it through the left side of the chest to me. But I have no interest in rewatching it, so I’ll just take your word for it. The DVD “special effects” feature shows Odette with the molded breastplate on. The rebar is poking out from underneath her clavicle area. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cloverfield-dear-god-that-sucked-spoilers/450774.md?page=5)