# Clueless guy wants to get back together with ex **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 1, 2010, 9:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278 "2010-01-01T09:38:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2010, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/21 "2010-01-03T21:44:42Z")
Dude, your obsession with her is starting to sound a wee bit stalker-ish. Leave her ALONE. You keep saying you’re “clueless”, but that’s the clue: you aren’t going to get back with her. Move on. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/22 "2010-01-04T00:58:30Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > …And as I understand it, mail-order brides aren’t slaves. You can’t just “get” one. They have to agree to marry you. Yeah but if I had a decent job and personality eventually one probably would… ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/23 "2010-01-04T01:24:18Z")
> [@Kaio](#): > > This is absolutely the worst reason ever to get involved with someone. No one wants to be the one you settled for… I thought lots of guys would think that their girl isn’t the best looking that they could imagine… and there is a saying about girls picking “Mr Right Now” rather than “Mr Right”… ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/24 "2010-01-04T01:25:34Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > You should just not date anyone ever man. Great so I’ll never be normal in that respect. BTW it was people like you who talked me into breaking up with her in the first place… ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/25 "2010-01-04T01:56:19Z")
The OP has some issues to deal with, but some of you guys railing on him in such an out of line fashion ( **Cubsfan** , **Digital** C, **jayjay** ) have _worse_ issues. And this is coming from me, someone generally accepted to be a huge asshole. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/26 "2010-01-04T02:03:10Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > The OP has some issues to deal with, but some of you guys railing on him in such an out of line fashion ( **Cubsfan** , **Digital** C, **jayjay** ) have _worse_ issues. > > And this is coming from me, someone generally accepted to be a huge asshole. 😛 Have you read his other threads? ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/27 "2010-01-04T02:20:00Z")
BTW I’m about to do the second year of Software Engineering fulltime, and my last semester GPA was 6.75… (I’ve also completed a Bachelor of I.T.) also I’m on welfare and tomorrow am getting a bonus $950… 🙂 I have a public housing flat that is brand new… if I had a better self-image I might ask out other girls again… and maybe there’ll be a second girl that I’d have gone on a date with… ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/28 "2010-01-04T02:26:21Z")
> [@Savannah](#): > > Harsh advice: leave this girl alone. Stop asking strangers on the web for advice. Work on your mental health issues. This sounds more like good advice than harsh advice. We are not obligated to give you good advice here, regardless of what mental issues you might have. People usually do try to help other people, but advice from the internet is the ultimate “buyer beware” situation. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/29 "2010-01-04T02:39:58Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > Yeah but if I had a decent job and personality eventually one probably would… Yeah, and if I had a perfect body and face I’d be a supermodel. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/30 "2010-01-04T03:07:36Z")
Green Bean: According to quite a lot of people it is possible for me to get a decent job. And maybe in the future my personality will mature and get better… (it is more likely for that to happen than for your face and body to become perfect) ---
**Author:** ![Cubsfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Cubsfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cubsfan)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/31 "2010-01-04T04:44:50Z")
I’m still not convinced that this dude isn’t a sock puppet. He’s so far out there that I find him almost impossible to believe as a real person. It’s weird to feel this way about a person with 580 posts but… ---
**Author:** ![mecaenas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/91b2a8/32.png) [@mecaenas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mecaenas)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/32 "2010-01-04T05:04:50Z")
John, let’s not go through all this again. Please find a local mental health professional that you can see in person and avoid internet message boards. You need real, professional help and _soon_. ---
**Author:** ![Polerius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d78d45/32.png) [@Polerius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polerius)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/33 "2010-01-04T05:20:41Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > [QUOTE=Kaio] > This is absolutely the worst reason ever to get involved with someone. No one wants to be the one you settled for… I thought lots of guys would think that their girl isn’t the best looking that they could imagine… and there is a saying about girls picking “Mr Right Now” rather than “Mr Right”… [/QUOTE] I’m not sure of what else **JohnClay** wrote in this thread (TLDR), but he does have a point here (even though his original statement was quite blunt and not something people admit to strangers or even to themselves) ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/34 "2010-01-04T06:10:37Z")
Hypothetical SMS: **"Hi, is there anything i can do to make up for messing around with your heart? Can we start over? Maybe i can become more worthy of u by getting a job and a car."** I’m seeing my case manager on Wednesday… I’ll ask him what he thinks… earlier he did say that I could ask her if we could get a bite to eat or go to a movie… but in that hypothetical SMS I’m giving her an ultimatum. BTW I am on a diet which I’ve told her about but I said I was sure it would work. But my waist is still be same (my weight has decreased a bit). She told me a while ago that she wanted to lose a couple dress sizes… I was actually testing this diet for her. It was meant to burn fat. Though I haven’t been doing the 30 minutes of walking every day… and I often have breakfast at 11 or 12… maybe the diet will work if I have breakfast earlier, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Cubsfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Cubsfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cubsfan)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/35 "2010-01-04T06:51:25Z")
> [@mecaenas](#): > > John, let’s not go through all this again. Please find a local mental health professional that you can see in person and avoid internet message boards. You need real, professional help and _soon_. Operating under the assumption that this is all real I agree. I think a mod should lock this thread. It’s too bizarre and if he’s legit then it’s not healthy for someone with admitted mental issues to get this kind of advice here. ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/36 "2010-01-04T07:28:15Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > I thought lots of guys would think that their girl isn’t the best looking that they could imagine… and there is a saying about girls picking “Mr Right Now” rather than “Mr Right”… Only if you’re doing the casual sex thing. And **both** of you are aware of and have explicitly agreed to it. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/37 "2010-01-04T09:10:30Z")
> [@Cubsfan](#): > > …I think a mod should lock this thread. It’s too bizarre and if he’s legit then it’s not healthy for someone with admitted mental issues to get this kind of advice here. It might be bizarre to you because it would be rare for you to hear some of the innermost thoughts of a very introverted person. Because of my introversion I don’t have much experience with relationships… you could think of me as an introverted neurotic teenager. About my mental illness… I’ve got bipolar disorder and I usually am checked up on once a week… plus at the moment I’m staying with my parents. I don’t think I’m at risk of becoming “unwell”… if I was I might become manic/high - which would allow me to ask out girls due to a lack of fear. Or I could become unwell by becoming very depressed. But I haven’t needed anti-depressants for many months. It’s up to the mods to decide… if anything I think the thread could be moved to the following forum: Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS) - “For general discussion: from frivolous chatter to deep thoughts; from harmless diversions to life-changing announcements.” BTW I have in the past been unwell while on the forums and mods did justifiably lock threads… > **[I'm Satan at the moment](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=406060)** > > Hi, I’m Satan at this point in time and I know the secrets of life. THE LAW OF REALITY EVERYTHING happens for a Good logical reason. The secret of eternal life on earth is to not break any commandments in the Bible, tempt others, be selfish, don’t... ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/38 "2010-01-04T09:12:03Z")
BTW I’m in the process of probably doing a defensive driving course (doing stuff like swerving and braking) and maybe getting a car… and I might then advertise again so that people might hire me to fix their computers. I’d have a really cheap rate. ---
**Author:** ![dba\_Fred](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c37758/32.png) [@dba\_Fred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dba_Fred)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/39 "2010-01-04T11:05:03Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > Yeah, and if I had a perfect body and face I’d be a supermodel. Close enough **Green Bean** , close enough 😉 ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/40 "2010-01-04T11:22:23Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > **Maybe i can become more worthy of u by getting a job and a car.** It’s about the heart, not material wealth. You have already proved yourself unworthy by dumping her. It’s over. Leave her alone. (Assuming, that is, that you’re not a piece of performance art, something I’m starting to suspect.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278.md?page=3)