# Clueless guy wants to get back together with ex **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 1, 2010, 9:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278 "2010-01-01T09:38:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2010, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/61 "2010-01-05T14:01:28Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > Well today I picked out a 3 door 1996 small automatic car for about US$2000. I also signed up for a two full day defensive driving course since at the moment I’m really bad at driving. For that price, I hope it has a full tank of gas and a full-size spare (and a gold bar under the driver’s seat). ---
**Author:** ![mecaenas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/91b2a8/32.png) [@mecaenas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mecaenas)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2010, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/62 "2010-01-05T14:37:53Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > f;aljeroejorejorjeorjewoajroie > > _bangs head against the keyboard_ I know! It’s like a slow motion trainwreck, hell, I keep coming back into this thread too. I really shouldn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2010, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/63 "2010-01-05T15:41:42Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > BTW while we were still together my ex would sometimes tell me what happened when she broke up with her earlier boyfriends… with one of them he put her stuff out on the road or something. With another guy he said he’d have other wives in heaven and also talked to another girl on the phone when he was still in my ex’s presence… and another one would park near her parents house and her father got him to go for good. Also her brother (that she lives with) is scared to go to a certain town because he’s scared of a “psycho” ex… also one time she showed me an engagement(?) ring that she got that she said she could get $600 for. Also she was helping to pay off a mortgage at one point and instead of splitting the house she got a car out of it. Well I say you should get back together with her. I think you and she and all her ex boyfriends will make the cutest couple. Best of luck! ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2010, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/64 "2010-01-06T07:12:59Z")
I picked up the car today. It has a 1 month warranty and me and my dad are going to pay to have a thorough inspection done, and then get the dealer to get any problems fixed up. I saw my case manager today. I told him I was thinking of sending my ex a message and he said that he “heard on the grapevine” that she’s got a guy… she was alone only a couple of weeks ago though… later I asked him if it would be a good idea to mention to her that I heard that on the grapevine though I thought it might be bad for some reason. He said it would be bad and what good could come out of it. I told him I post on 2 messageboards… he thought some aspects of me, such as me posting this thread, were odd as well. At the end of the trip to the plaza with him he said I was going well and I looked like a million bucks, etc. Earlier he asked me how I felt about the car and I wasn’t very enthusiastic about it. I said I’m happier when I get up to mischief. He says that I should and I said it usually ends badly (i.e. I get hospitalized). My diet is starting to work now… I used to be 83 kg (and 6 feet) but my latest weight is 78.6 kg… I used to be 69-70 kg for many years… I was very skinny - but after spending about 6 weeks in hospital on certain medications I went up to 85-90 kg. My case manager is encouraging me to put on some muscle and I plan to. My waist remains about 35 inches though… though lately I have been inflating my stomach to its maximum - earlier I might have been contracting it a little or pulling the tape around the fat with too much pressure. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2010, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/65 "2010-01-06T08:08:19Z")
My case manager also said that the solution to my problems is to be like all of my relatives and become a Christian again… or at least pretend to be a Christian… he says he used to do that and go to churches to pick up girls. I said that was unethical and he said “what are you? A lawyer?” Also he said (roughly) that you don’t need to be honest when saying a girl is beautiful or it can include their personality when you’re talking about their appearance… ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2010, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/66 "2010-01-06T08:17:27Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > My advice: > > 1. Don’t get back together with this girl. > 2. Stay on your meds. > 3. Get into therapy, if you aren’t already. > 4. Focus on becoming a happy, interesting person in your own right: get a job, get some hobbies, start exercising, try to socialize with people. > > The way you’re coming across right now, you’re not in any position to start or resume a romantic relationship – it would just be bad for everyone involved. Follow this advice to the letter. If you don’t you will come to a bad end. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2010, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/67 "2010-01-06T08:23:17Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > My case manager also said that the solution to my problems is to be like all of my relatives and become a Christian again… or at least pretend to be a Christian… he says he used to do that and go to churches to pick up girls. I said that was unethical and he said “what are you? A lawyer?” > Also he said (roughly) that you don’t need to be honest when saying a girl is beautiful or it can include their personality when you’re talking about their appearance… If this is true, you should never see this guy again. Really you should report him to his supervisor. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2010, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/68 "2010-01-06T08:41:22Z")
> [@Munch](#): > > For that price, I hope it has a full tank of gas and a full-size spare (and a gold bar under the driver’s seat). JohnClay is Australian. The market is different here. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2010, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/69 "2010-01-06T09:22:01Z")
Well it cost about US$25-30 to fill the tank and it has a spare tyre… ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2010, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/70 "2010-01-09T08:33:46Z")
Well I ended up sending another message but this time she replied… 3:30pm “Hi S, i was wondering about u paying 4 the internet. U could do a bank transfer or if u want i could drive by because i bought a car - a 1996 silver F. I wont be in N until monday. All the best, M” 6+ pm “I have the money on me now, im not sure when u want to pop in, but on tuesday i have to go to B till friday. Btw congratulations on getting ur nice car, it sounds good if u want to come over tonight, we want to c ur new car. You r welcome” "Hi im actually at my flat n left my car in N. U could visit my parents soon or i could come by on monday. Id like to take a parent with to help me drive “Ok M thats fine i have 20 dollars for u. I will c u at my house on monday, A my brother also congratulates u 4 getting ur car. see ya from S” “Thx 2 u n A [the brother] 4 the congrats. Me n my dad will pop in at about 12.30 mon” ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2010, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/71 "2010-01-09T08:54:09Z")
“Ok that will b great from S” ---
**Author:** ![Cubsfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Cubsfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cubsfan)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2010, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/72 "2010-01-09T10:28:42Z")
Dude it doesn’t sound, at all, like she is interested in getting back with you. Her txts just sound like polite acknowledgment of yours with a little chatter. Move on dude. Move on. ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2010, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/73 "2010-01-09T18:39:54Z")
This thread is turning into a LiveJournal. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2010, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/74 "2010-01-10T22:06:37Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > BTW it was people like you who talked me into breaking up with her in the first place… > [@JohnClay](#): > > Well I made a thread here last year and it caused me to break up with her. Take responsibility for your own decisions and your own actions. Stop blaming others for your mistakes. > [@JohnClay](#): > > I was thinking about staying apart from her since she isn’t that pretty in my eyes (well maybe average) and I had been thinking about getting a Thai bride. Take responsibility for how you treat other people. Stop hurting others by your mistakes. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2010, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/75 "2010-01-11T03:50:34Z")
:D:D:D Before I left my flat I consulted my talking 8 ball. I am really fond of it. Anyway I thought about getting together with my ex and it said something like “my answer… is it is a certainty… [gong noise]” Then my dad arrived in my car. I hopped in the driver’s seat. We arrived at my ex and her brother’s place. I was carrying a “Street Fighter IV” dvd while my dad was carrying a box with some presents. I couldn’t see through the screen door very well. The brother said hello and I said something like “hey [his name]”. My ex said hello and I said hi to her as well. I gave her brother a firm handshake and my dad did as well and also gave my ex a hug. I gave her a good hug. My dad asked if she wanted to open the presents straight away and she said she’d open them later. (it was 2 mugs and some food I think - from my mum) I soon said that she’s looking good. I later noticed that she had dressed up with very intricate strapped on shoes - her breasts looked bigger than normal. With her dress I couldn’t tell if she had a tummy. Her dress was somewhat short and I could see her legs. After a little while she said I was looking good and I said thanks. I started talking to her brother about things while my dad talked to my ex. She offered us a drink and I said water and one of them suggested diet coke and I agreed. I started drinking it fairly fast. She noticed the necklace I had - and remarked that I still was wearing it. As usual I said “yeah”. She said that she was wearing the crucifix necklace I had given her. She asked me how university was going and I said I’m getting really good marks. She said that she prays about me a lot. Anyway we eventually went out to look at my car. She wanted to sit in the passenger’s seat - I think my dad unlocked it. Her brother said I had a good watch (it was about $20 but it was waterproof and it had a light in it). My ex said she had bought it for me (I think she was mixed up but didn’t say so). I got at least 2 compliments about my shoes - which my ex had bought. I said I had 2 pairs (I wanted 2 because I liked them a lot). I looked at her watch and it looked like the playboy one I had bought her. I said so and she said it was. Eventually my dad said he had an appointment. I shook the brother’s hand and gave my ex a pretty long hug. I had watched some of a video called “the art of kissing” the day before and more of it today and it said standing kissing should be done where the feet and legs are close to each other… so I got really close to her during the hug and our bodies touched each other in a few places - more than usual… The brother left and my ex remained. We said see ya or something and waved a couple of times first before I entered the car, then after I was in the car. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2010, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/76 "2010-01-11T03:59:29Z")
about two nights ago she also wrote: “[her brother] and a few of my[???] friends r going to the X rsl (club for war veterans but most members aren’t), im going to stay home tonight” She had said I could have “come over” last night… and it seems she would have been alone… ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2010, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/77 "2010-01-11T04:21:07Z")
“Thank u so much M, and ur family for the lovely gifts. I like it, my parents also send best wishes from S” “Thx n it was good 2 c u 2day” ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2010, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/78 "2010-01-11T15:17:16Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > :D:D:D > We arrived at my ex and her brother’s place. I was carrying a “Street Fighter IV” dvd while my dad was carrying a box with some presents. Jesus, man… Don’t leave us hanging… How was “Street Fighter IV”? ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2010, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/79 "2010-01-12T00:14:50Z")
> [@HelloNinja](#): > > Jesus, man… Don’t leave us hanging… How was “Street Fighter IV”? Well she already had the Japanese version of the game but I gave her the english one anyway… she said that on her version she could play people on the internet… ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2010, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278/80 "2010-01-12T07:45:21Z")
BTW if I can help it I’m probably not going to keep you all updated on how things are going… that would be the normal thing to do I guess… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/clueless-guy-wants-to-get-back-together-with-ex/523278.md?page=5)