# C'mon people, let's come up with better insults! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 4, 2001, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cmon-people-lets-come-up-with-better-insults/60788 "2001-04-04T15:50:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SuaSponte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/67e7ee/32.png) [@SuaSponte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuaSponte)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cmon-people-lets-come-up-with-better-insults/60788/1 "2001-04-04T15:50:47Z")
For the, I believe, 300th time, **Manny** has been accused of clinging to an outdated and immoral ideology ( [manhattan a nazi](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=66252) At this point, I think every mod or admin has been accused of being a Nazi or a Commie at least 12 times. Newsflash to you trolls, morons, and assorted cretins - **THERE ARE OTHER INSULTS**. C’mon, it’s easy. Try thread titles like - **Coldfire** , you’re a pederast; **Manny** can’t walk and chew gum at the same time; Is it just me, or is **Czarcasm** an ineffective masturbator? **TVeblen** spanks little boys’ bottoms!! (er wait, that one might be true) **Tubadiva** blows!!! I realize that originality requires two brain cells to rub together, but at least try, for our sakes. Thank you, and good day, Sua ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cmon-people-lets-come-up-with-better-insults/60788/2 "2001-04-04T15:55:12Z")
A friend of mine works at a grade school. One day he heard a kid out in the hall say, “Yo mama!” My friend leapt over his desk, ran out into the hall, accosted the insulter, and said, “That was lame. If you’re going to insult somebody, if you’re going to risk getting kicked out of school for saying something bad, make it count. Show us that you actually care about the quality of your insult. ‘Yo mama’ is a lame insult.” A few days later, he heard, “You know, you haven’t the brains of a flea.” He called out, “Yes! Like that! Only not in my school!” ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cmon-people-lets-come-up-with-better-insults/60788/3 "2001-04-04T16:14:50Z")
Or perhaps we could tailor the insults to the mod. Something creative about NYC for Manny, ridicule the sousaphone for Tubadiva, bust on beer for Unc . . . And for Coldfire: **Stop het in je nauwe gaatje, apenaaier.** Heh heh heh . . . [sub](gawd I hope I didn’t fuck that up)[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![dustMagnate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/fbc32d/32.png) [@dustMagnate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dustMagnate)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cmon-people-lets-come-up-with-better-insults/60788/4 "2001-04-04T16:17:21Z")
I have heard that in some Central American areas you can be killed for saying ‘milk’. That is, ‘leche’, when spoken with the right gutteral sneer, may be taken to mean: **I piss in the milk you drink from your mother**. Got leche? ---
**Author:** ![Blackclaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e68b1a/32.png) [@Blackclaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackclaw)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cmon-people-lets-come-up-with-better-insults/60788/5 "2001-04-04T16:21:20Z")
> [@](#): > > C’mon people, let’s come up with better insults! Why yes, I was recently thinking the same thing. The lack of creativity in recent spats has been particularly troublesome to me. But what can we do? We’re busy folks and have not the time to waste coming up with some clever thing to call the latest nimrod who has dared to cross our path. But are we to then just let down our readers? Our lurkers who hang upon every word we type for some hope of amusement? I think not! So I’ve been contemplating an insult formula. Something we could use quickly to dust off the low lives that aren’t worthy of a custom insult. Additionally I have great hope that my name will be attached to this effort in some way. After all, Opal has her lists! Why cannot I make an attempt at some lasting fame upon these boards? So I present Blacklaw’s insult formula. (Unless of course this attempt is later determined to be quite lame, in which case I would like another poster’s name attached to it. Let’s say, SuaSponte’s will do in such a case.) So here it is: Gross Noun + Sex Verb + Animal Noun First off we need to select a noun. Blackclaw’s insult formula suggests that this noun be a gross. Preferably, a bodily fluid. For the purposes of example I choose Urine. Now we need a verb, a bit of action. My formula dictates that this be a sexual action of some type. I know Felching is over used but I simply enjoy using it so I take it as my second choice. Lastly we need another noun. The formula here says it must be an animal. I choose Dung beetle. So we end up with a urine felching dung beetle. Not too shabby for a quick insult. And those of you that disagree are just blood licking warthogs anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Freedom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Freedom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freedom)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cmon-people-lets-come-up-with-better-insults/60788/6 "2001-04-04T17:33:32Z")
Vomit fucking pig. Stale vomit fucking pig. Stale vomit fucking pigs fuck your mother. ---
**Author:** ![hapaXL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/94ad74/32.png) [@hapaXL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hapaXL)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cmon-people-lets-come-up-with-better-insults/60788/7 "2001-04-04T18:04:49Z")
If I hear one more lame use of the word “felch…” What is interesting to me is how the culture of the SDMB seems to have this one, overriding unwritten rule: insult, but in a detached way. Don’t hit too close to home. I almost never see people being insulted about the number of hours they obviously spend here and how this might indicate the lack of a social life. About how Science Fiction isn’t considered very cool. People aren’t even made fun of for being rather old virgins–after they choose to admit this fact on the boards (never understood that move)! People just don’t really use the ammunition provided. I think “nerd” is the only really dirty word on these boards. So we’re stuck with all these pathetic “lick my ass” commands over and over again. If the Pit were really hardcore, folks would be using actual insults. Things might actually be interesting. Making shit up is childish. If you’re really pissed at somebody, have the balls to say something meaty. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cmon-people-lets-come-up-with-better-insults/60788/8 "2001-04-04T19:13:59Z")
Well . . . > [@](#): > > I almost never see people being insulted about the number of hours they obviously spend here and how this might indicate the lack of a social life. Can’t do it without reeking of hypocrisy. > [@](#): > > About how Science Fiction isn’t considered very cool. It’s not an insult. For the most part, those of us who like SF have been called much worse things than “not cool.” Fuck cool. Cool is for schoolchildren. > [@](#): > > People aren’t even made fun of for being rather old virgins–after they choose to admit this fact on the boards (never understood that move)! Er, no shit? Perhaps because it’s (again) not an insult? ---
**Author:** ![Blackclaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e68b1a/32.png) [@Blackclaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackclaw)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cmon-people-lets-come-up-with-better-insults/60788/9 "2001-04-04T19:33:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hapaXL \* > If the Pit were really hardcore, folks would be using actual insults. Things might actually be interesting. Making shit up is childish. If you’re really pissed at somebody, have the balls to say something meaty. \*\* Believe it or not actual insults do get slung here in the pit. You’ve just been missing the hot threads where folks really are upset with each other. You miss my point entirely. My formula isn’t for when you are really pissed at somebody. It’s for occasions when an irritating little rodent comes along and we don’t really wish to expend energy upon it because it’s not worth the effort. And if you weren’t a mud felching kangaroo rat you would have realized this. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cmon-people-lets-come-up-with-better-insults/60788/10 "2001-04-04T19:37:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hapaXL \* > \*\*\If the Pit were really hardcore, folks would be using actual insults. Things might actually be interesting. Making shit up is childish. If you’re really pissed at somebody, have the balls to say something meaty. \*\* In my opinion, I never get pissed at _people_ here. I get pissed at what some anonymous person that I have never met and don’t know has typed and posted on a public message board. Maybe the reason that people don’t use real insults here is because this isn’t a real environment with real people in it; I don’t expend the same level of emotion here that I do in my real life. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cmon-people-lets-come-up-with-better-insults/60788/11 "2001-04-04T20:34:04Z")
Sua… > [@](#): > > Manny can’t walk and chew gum at the same time; That should be “Manny can’t fart and chew gun at the same time”, which is what the quote originally was (before it was dumbed down for mid-century America). Hapa… > [@](#): > > People just don’t really use the ammunition provided. Believe it or not, jackass, there’s a limit on what we can say even in the Pit. Excessive, personal insults are often “over the line”. Slinging up shit from a person’s personal life is an utter no-no… we’re to call people on what they do and/or say on the Boards, nothing more. Of course, if you spent a little more time on the Boards (as opposed to being jealous of people who have more than five minutes free each day), you’d know this. ---
**Author:** ![Hodge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Hodge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hodge)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cmon-people-lets-come-up-with-better-insults/60788/12 "2001-04-04T21:08:34Z")
[For the lazy pit-dweller](http://www.duncanmrogers.com/insult_creator.htm) Hodge ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cmon-people-lets-come-up-with-better-insults/60788/13 "2001-04-04T21:39:04Z")
Hey, Hodge. Great site. You half-faced whey-faced hedgehog. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cmon-people-lets-come-up-with-better-insults/60788/14 "2001-04-05T00:01:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by andros \* > And for Coldfire: > > **Stop het in je nauwe gaatje, apenaaier.** _A spray of Grolsch hits a Panasonic 17", obviously not designed for this purpose…_ Sweet thundering FUCK andros, where’d you find THAT??? Hilarious! Uncommon, but hilarious! For those not fluent at Dutch: “Stuff it in your tiny (arse)hole, monkey fucker”. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cmon-people-lets-come-up-with-better-insults/60788/15 "2001-04-05T00:24:24Z")
😃 It was either that or **"Houd je rotsmoel, rukker."** But “apenaaier” has such a ring to it. [http://www.insults.net](http://www.insults.net) Accept no substitutes. ---
**Author:** ![robgruver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@robgruver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robgruver)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cmon-people-lets-come-up-with-better-insults/60788/16 "2001-04-05T07:53:03Z")
I think I made an effort in regards to the OP in [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=63907) pit post. To quote: > [@](#): > > Now you have started firing people (not me… yet). Attendance problems result in immediate firing > which includes the best tech you ever thought you could have when his grandmother died! Thats > an attendance problem because “She is not a immediate family member.” Fuck you, you cock > gobbling goat felching munging sons-of-cum-guzzling-whores. You people are nothing more than > the afterbirth of a lesbian clusterfuck. You sicken me with your fucked up corporate attitudes, and > your complete disrespect for your employees who have worked so hard for you. > > ``` > I want nothing more than to rip your nuts off with my teeth and snowball them in your mouth. I > see you walking around the floor and I vision what your entrails would look like hanging from my > wall and what your heart would taste like. I want to ass punch you until you are a writing mass of > pain and suffering. I want to ruin you. > > ``` I do belive the art of violent insults is lost. To bad… ---
**Author:** ![gypsy\_gurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@gypsy\_gurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gypsy_gurl)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cmon-people-lets-come-up-with-better-insults/60788/17 "2001-04-05T14:29:27Z")
See mom? The internet IS a good thing, I **promise**. Why, today I even learned some Dutch! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cmon-people-lets-come-up-with-better-insults/60788/18 "2001-04-06T00:47:34Z")
Several insults from the board have been incorporated into my workplace. We often do the clue dance to help ourselves get a clue,since none of our clients could get a clue during clue mating season if they danced naked in a field of horny clues wearing clue musk smeared on their bodies. And being asked to do anything may result in being asked to jump up our ass and bark. But these are generalities. True insults are highly individualized to maximize efectiveness. The worst insult I ever received had the tiniest grain of truth inserted, delivered from the person who knew me best, said to deliberately hurt me. Highly effective and I ended up divorcing him.