# Co-ed bathrooms in College Dorms (or public offices): A poll. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 16, 2003, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/co-ed-bathrooms-in-college-dorms-or-public-offices-a-poll/201941 "2003-09-16T14:14:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/co-ed-bathrooms-in-college-dorms-or-public-offices-a-poll/201941/21 "2003-09-16T17:38:05Z")
> [@](#): > > And none of that even gets into the gender politics issues that women, even (especially?) high-ranking women face in the workplace, where any vulnerability – like being seen or heard by a male co-worker when physically unwell (“weak”), crying (“being overemotional”) or fixing hair or makeup (“being vain/overconcerned with appearance”) – can have negative repercussions on that woman’s career. My wife happens to be one of those _high-ranking-woman-types_ for a large firm overseeing the whole college publication process. The same firm that houses law offices for the university press system. And she did not ascend to her current position from being “weak”, “over-emotional”, or “concerned with her appearance”. She is a very kind individual and that is the trait that most comment her on. However, cross the line of socio-political realmes with her and she can appear a veritable _ **Gorgon-Queen** _ The only reason I bring this up is because there is a huge difference between the trials and tribulations of a freshmen dormitory and corporate America. One is decidedly more cut-throat, and getting to any rank requires an amount of risk, cunning, and dedication. Back to the discussion at hand. Religious implications are certainly something not to be taken lightly. > [@](#): > > And there are cultural questions as well. While I’d merely find it extraordinarily uncomfortable if a man saw me fiddling with clothing, an Orthodox Jewish woman or a hijab-wearing Muslim woman would, I imagine, not only be mortified but feel religious implications that transcend mere embarassment. We have had this problem several times at my school throughout the year. We have a very diverse little society here and the bathroom situation in most dorms is very uncomfortable to many of middle eastern decent. Especially, the women. However, most are here for an education and they have developed various ways to adapt to the situation. Some move off campus, others try as best they can to adapt, and still others can not take it and they seek outside help from the administration. To a liberal arts college, coed bathrooms are not a punnishment or an especially cost saving sceme. We want people to be comfortable with their person, and we want people to be strong in their self-esteem. Many times a person who can get through a year with-in a coed dormitory will have no problem standing up for themselves in the vast concrete jungle of the corporate world. Then again, I teach at a liberal arts college and my perception on the matter may be slightly biased. ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/co-ed-bathrooms-in-college-dorms-or-public-offices-a-poll/201941/22 "2003-09-16T17:41:08Z")
_ **de-mysteriousized** _ - I like that! the ubiquity is just perfect! ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/co-ed-bathrooms-in-college-dorms-or-public-offices-a-poll/201941/23 "2003-09-16T18:32:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Phlosphr \* > **My wife happens to be one of those _high-ranking-woman-types_ for a large firm overseeing the whole college publication process. The same firm that houses law offices for the university press system. And she did not ascend to her current position from being “weak”, “over-emotional”, or “concerned with her appearance”.** I was one of those high ranking women types myself (Vice President in a fast-growing, multinational technology company until two weeks ago) and I know from experience that **no** woman rises in the ranks by being weak, overemotional or vain, but at the same time no woman will rise in the ranks if she’s **perceived** that way, either, and one can certainly develop an erroneous perception of someone based upon seeing things out of context – including things which happen in ladies’ restrooms that other women don’t tend to view as out of the ordinary or consider a fitting basis for the assignment of such labels. These are just my observations from being outside the world of academia, (where I have also toiled, mind you) and landing in a male-dominated industry. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Phlosphr \* > **The only reason I bring this up is because there is a huge difference between the trials and tribulations of a freshmen dormitory and corporate America.** No doubt, which is why I’m not addressing dormitory situations, but workplace situations. Though, if I’m being completely honest, it’s fair to say that I’m even less in favor of coed bathrooms in dormitories, and I don’t see the value in treating college students game for that kind of social engineering games because they want to live in a dorm. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Phlosphr \* > \*\*To a liberal arts college, coed bathrooms are not a punnishment or an especially cost saving sceme. We want people to be comfortable with their person, and we want people to be strong in their self-esteem. Many times a person who can get through a year with-in a coed dormitory will have no problem standing up for themselves in the vast concrete jungle of the corporate world. Then again, I teach at a liberal arts college and my perception on the matter may be slightly biased. \*\* Your perception is **completely** biased, if you think that coed bathrooms are truly a path towards people becoming “comfortable with their person” or developing a strong self-esteem. There are certainly ways to develop and foster both that would not make _anyone_ (from any culture or philosophical position) so uncomfortable that they felt unable to engage in basic, necessary biological functions securely. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/co-ed-bathrooms-in-college-dorms-or-public-offices-a-poll/201941/24 "2003-09-16T18:40:00Z")
There is no way on earth I would want to use a co-ed bathroom at work or in the dorm. I have lived with men, and what they do in the morning scares me. haha. True. Also, I have a weird thing about men seeing me primp. It may sound stupid, but I like to keep a certain amount of mystery as to how I get fixed up. I don’t do my roots when my bf is over. I don’t like to do my entire shower routine in his presence. I certainly wouldn’t pop a zit in front of anyone. If I’m at work, I don’t want my boss coming in while I’m taking a poop. It would just make me terribly uncomfortable. ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/co-ed-bathrooms-in-college-dorms-or-public-offices-a-poll/201941/25 "2003-09-16T18:52:27Z")
You are correct. There are many ways to have a healthy comfort level for your person or having strong self-esteem without living in a coed dormitory. It’s called self-empowerment for lack of a better catchy phrase…Thats what colleges try to do to young people. We try and promote self-actualization through things like encouraging young people to act on their freedom of speech, freedom of religion etc…etc… And social engineering games are not in my repertoire. And **Indygirl** - Many of my students have brought your point up. They know how messy men can be and you know what? As the world turns there are very few men who want to show complete strangers how messy they really are. And thus the bathrooms get amazingly clean. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/co-ed-bathrooms-in-college-dorms-or-public-offices-a-poll/201941/26 "2003-09-16T18:56:31Z")
If I were a woman, there’s one other reason I’d be against co-ed bathrooms: some guys use the toilets as urinals without bothering to lift the seat first. Their aim is often less than perfect. ---
**Author:** ![Duderdude2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cdc98d/32.png) [@Duderdude2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duderdude2)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/co-ed-bathrooms-in-college-dorms-or-public-offices-a-poll/201941/27 "2003-09-16T19:03:42Z")
Oh well, urine is sterile anyway. Besides, I’ve heard horror stories of women’s toilets which have urine on and around the toilet, including the floor, since apparently some women insist on peeing while ducking on the toilet seat itself. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/co-ed-bathrooms-in-college-dorms-or-public-offices-a-poll/201941/28 "2003-09-16T19:08:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Judith Prietht \* > \*\*First of all, I would hate to see the state of a co-ed bathroom in a “very active social dorm” (which I’m reading as “party dorm”) on Sunday morning. > > As a sophomore I sometimes showered in the men’s bathroom, only out of convenience. Due to the floor layout, the women’s bathroom lay at the other end of the hall, around a corner. I’d often get to the women’s bathroom in the morning only to find all showers occupied. The men’s bathroom was right next to my room. I didn’t have a problem showering in the men’s bathroom; I found quite a few surprised and maybe modest men waiting when I stepped out, clad in a towel and robe. > > So are these co-ed bathrooms co-ed showering facilities as well? \*\* We also hated to see it on early Sunday mornings - so we slept in. My hall talked every year on whether to have single sex or co-ed bathrooms (with the understanding that if anyone had an objection, we’d go to 1 men’s, 1 women’s and 1 co-ed) No one ever objected. Having access to all bathrooms was just way more convenient. So we had co-ed bathrooms (with showering facilities) in the dorms. (As opposed to in the school buildings where they were single sex (which was infuriating, because trying to give directions to the few unlocked women’s bathrooms was nearly impossible).) And it wasn’t an issue after the first day or two. There was a place outside the shower (but still curtained off) to change before you got in, and then change after you got out. It was no big deal. In fact, losing some of the mystery was a good thing. I’ve never had a co-ed bathroom at work though (I don’t think I’d mind…but it hasn’t been that way. And anything that I needed to do that required modesty - I could just hop into a stall to take care of) ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/co-ed-bathrooms-in-college-dorms-or-public-offices-a-poll/201941/29 "2003-09-16T19:50:35Z")
At my college, freshman dorms were segregate male/female. One of the perks of honors housing was it was co-ed. Never had any problem; everyone behaved themselves AND cleaned up after themselves. Work? Totally different world. I have worked for a public agency (500+ employees) for 15 years. And I am very grateful that we do not have co-ed bathrooms. Most men (95%) would not be a problem. But the ones that **are** cannot be handled easily. The harassers are very smart and very smooth. Nothing explicit, just overall “ookie” factor and "oops-did-I-touch-you"s. And there is no way I’ll be half naked in the same room with a man who “brushes” against me every chance he gets. Would these men be different if they had co-ed bathrooms in college? No. I don’t think the predator factor has anything to do with that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/co-ed-bathrooms-in-college-dorms-or-public-offices-a-poll/201941.md?page=1)