# Co-Worker accused me of being racist...was he right? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 2, 2021, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/co-worker-accused-me-of-being-racist-was-he-right/953703 "2021-11-02T23:24:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![ArtBeforeScience](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@ArtBeforeScience](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArtBeforeScience)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/co-worker-accused-me-of-being-racist-was-he-right/953703/41 "2021-11-03T12:33:05Z")
> He then said “I think what you just said was racist”. Your co-worker said that you made a racist _remark_. Not that YOU… were a “racist”. It might seem like a small distinction, but one is an action that need not be repeated, and can be owned up to. The other is a permanent dismissal of someone’s being. You messed up by making one remark, in front of a group, which isn’t a happy occasion but it’s not the end of the world, either. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/co-worker-accused-me-of-being-racist-was-he-right/953703/42 "2021-11-03T12:35:28Z")
YOU: > [@edwin\_klockars](#): > > During a zoom call with a colleague (who is of Indian heritage, his parents are both Indian, he has a very Indian name, he wears a turban etc) HIM > [@edwin\_klockars](#): > > To which he repleid “why are you asking me?” ME: Sereiously?! I think he is an asshole who is looking for a reason to be offended and is using PC as the weapon to do it. You apologized. Now I suggest you avoid future contact with him if possible. If it isn’t, be brief and “PC Impeccable”. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/co-worker-accused-me-of-being-racist-was-he-right/953703/43 "2021-11-03T12:45:47Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > This is a fundamental point which most white people find extremely difficult to grasp. It isn’t about you or your ostensible intentions. It is about the impact you are making on others. It’s not a white people difficulty its a racist difficulty. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/co-worker-accused-me-of-being-racist-was-he-right/953703/44 "2021-11-03T12:47:42Z")
As others have noted, I think the issue was that you were addressing him as the _“resident Indian expert”_ and implying that he should be able to answer answer on behalf of all Indians. It might have gone better if you had said something like _“I felt you might have some insights on how we can this problem”_ or _“I figured you have more knowledge about Indian culture than I do”_. The problem with the first approach is that it can sound like you’re thinking _“all you people are alike”._ ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/co-worker-accused-me-of-being-racist-was-he-right/953703/45 "2021-11-03T12:47:44Z")
Here’s how liberal Hollywood makes fun of this exact situation – Modern Family (1m30s): [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/9bibxxo1m2Q/hqdefault.jpg "Modern Family - Pronouncing Pho?, "I'm from Denver"| Vietnamese Noodle Soup | Asian Food") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bibxxo1m2Q) ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/co-worker-accused-me-of-being-racist-was-he-right/953703/46 "2021-11-03T12:48:23Z")
> [@Jasmine](#): > > I think he is an asshole who is looking for a reason to be offended and is using PC as the weapon to do it. Or, you know, you could listen to his legitimate concern and realize that good intentions aren’t an excuse for making misguided and offensive statements. But you do you. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/co-worker-accused-me-of-being-racist-was-he-right/953703/47 "2021-11-03T12:50:08Z")
> [@Jasmine](#): > > ME: Sereiously?! I think he is an asshole who is looking for a reason to be offended and is using PC as the weapon to do it. You apologized. Now I suggest you avoid future contact with him if possible. If it isn’t, be brief and “PC Impeccable”. I would suggest the OP not try this suggestion. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/co-worker-accused-me-of-being-racist-was-he-right/953703/48 "2021-11-03T13:04:43Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > Or, you know, you could listen to his legitimate concern and realize that good intentions aren’t an excuse for making misguided and offensive statements. So, knowing someone is of Indian heritage and asking for advice on Indian affairs is somehow offensive and racist? Let’s say I’m shopping and a man who happens to be next to me says, “Excuse me, miss, I’m shopping for earrings for my wife, and I feel a little lost, here. Any advice?” Sure, not all women like the same things just because they’re women, but I’m not going to be offended and call him a sexist misogynist just because he asked me that question. He’s just a little lost and hoping for some help. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/co-worker-accused-me-of-being-racist-was-he-right/953703/49 "2021-11-03T13:11:14Z")
The whole question just sounds weird. Is the implication “I would immediately understand how to get Canadian people to stop mistaking our web site for the Canada Post web site, but how to get Indian people to stop mistaking our web site for the India Post web site is a complete mystery”? ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/co-worker-accused-me-of-being-racist-was-he-right/953703/50 "2021-11-03T13:15:14Z")
> [@Smudge777](#): > > . This is my preferred meaning when talking about racism and, as such, this is certainly not an example of racism. And it turns out that this definition doesn’t really serve to explain the problems we have with race, privilege, prejudice, etc., in this country. It’s a definition that mainly serves the interest of white people who want to be assured that they’re “technically” not racist. ---
**Author:** ![Jas09](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d07c76/32.png) [@Jas09](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jas09)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/co-worker-accused-me-of-being-racist-was-he-right/953703/51 "2021-11-03T13:15:25Z")
> [@Jasmine](#): > > So, knowing someone is of Indian heritage and asking for advice on Indian affairs is somehow offensive and racist? Well, yes it’s racist… by definition actually. You are making an assumption about a person’s knowledge based on their race. As to whether it’s offensive, I can see how it could be. For example, if he wears a turban he is likely Sikh, which isn’t the majority religion in India. He has a “very Indian name” (which I’m not entirely sure how one grades exactly how Indian a name is…) so he likely deals with questions about India a lot (I know my wife does, and she was born in the US). It seems reasonable to just assume that all of your coworkers have the same knowledge of India until and unless they have put themselves out there as experts on a subject. Then, of course, it is perfectly reasonable to go to them for information. Just being from a place doesn’t make you an expert. And certainly having a certain name/skin color doesn’t. > [@](#): > > Let’s say I’m shopping and a man who happens to be next to me says, “Excuse me, miss, I’m shopping for earrings for my wife, and I feel a little lost, here. Any advice?” > > Sure, not all women like the same things just because they’re women, but I’m not going to be offended and call him a sexist misogynist just because he asked me that question. He’s just a little lost and hoping for some help. The difference is that in your hypothetical the person you are asking is partaking in the activity you are asking about. They are shopping for earrings, so in theory may know something about it. Now if there were a bunch of salespeople there to help and you deliberately only asked the female ones for advice, assuming that the men didn’t know anything about jewelry, then yes you are being sexist. Again you are making assumptions about a person’s knowledge based on their sex. Or even if you were in like the Sporting Goods section and some guy asks you about jewelry - yeah that’s weird and a bit sexist. And, once more, nobody is calling the OP racist (just like nobody would be calling your jewelry-asker sexist). They are saying his comment was racist. That’s a pretty important distinction. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/co-worker-accused-me-of-being-racist-was-he-right/953703/52 "2021-11-03T13:16:10Z")
> [@China\_Guy](#): > > A better approach might be to ask if anyone on the call had domain knowledge that might help in this case? A request for volunteers. Not putting any one person on the spot but asking for insights from the broader group. Yep, exactly. It’s what I suggested in my first reply. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/co-worker-accused-me-of-being-racist-was-he-right/953703/53 "2021-11-03T13:17:40Z")
> [@Great\_Antibob](#): > > This trope is so common, it even has a name - forever foreign. Oh, perfect. I hadn’t heard this term before, but it fits perfectly for situations I have found myself in. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/co-worker-accused-me-of-being-racist-was-he-right/953703/54 "2021-11-03T13:22:49Z")
> [@Jasmine](#): > > Let’s say I’m shopping and a man who happens to be next to me says, “Excuse me, miss, I’m shopping for earrings for my wife, and I feel a little lost, here. Any advice?” This is a workplace, not a random shopping experience. OP has assumed that his colleague knows about Indian culture by virtue of a name, parentage, and mode of dress. OP has declared this colleague the ‘Resident Indian Expert’ without actually knowing whether or not the colleague lived in India, or knows about living in India. I know a guy through Boy Scouts, and he’s frequently talking about his time growing up and living in India, so I would feel comfortable asking him about Indian culture. If I didn’t know this, didn’t have a relationship where I would know this about him, it would be inappropriate to assume he’s an expert in all things India. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/co-worker-accused-me-of-being-racist-was-he-right/953703/55 "2021-11-03T13:24:18Z")
> [@Jas09](#): > > He has a “very Indian name” (which I’m not entirely sure how one grades exactly how Indian a name is…) Exactly. I am an American so my “very Indian name” is also a “very American name.” Or are only European names allowed to be American? ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/co-worker-accused-me-of-being-racist-was-he-right/953703/56 "2021-11-03T13:50:43Z")
> [@Isamu](#): > > It’s not a white people difficulty its a racist difficulty. White people: shorthand for dominant culture/race in USA as well as a large percentage of the globe, whether they are numerically dominant or not. I’m sure that there are some other places where the dominant culture/race isn’t white, and that there, possibly, another seen-as-lesser/foreign race/culture has the same thing happen to them, because oblivious and insensitive people live all over the world. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/co-worker-accused-me-of-being-racist-was-he-right/953703/57 "2021-11-03T13:52:41Z")
We have a large office in Bangalore so I work with many Indians. We also have many Indian-Americans who have moved here after growing up and getting educated in India. We also have many folks with Indian ethnicity who were born and raised in the US and have essentially no knowledge of Indian culture. Adding complexity is the fact that India is very diverse; growing up in Ladakh gives you little insight into the goings on in Karnataka. ---
**Author:** ![ISiddiqui](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/97f17d/32.png) [@ISiddiqui](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ISiddiqui)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/co-worker-accused-me-of-being-racist-was-he-right/953703/58 "2021-11-03T13:57:29Z")
> [@edwin\_klockars](#): > > During a zoom call with a colleague (who is of Indian heritage, his parents are both Indian, he has a very Indian name, he wears a turban etc) I said “Hey _colleague name_ , do you have any suggestions what we can do to help people from Indian not get our site confused with the Indian Post Office”? To which he repleid “why are you asking me?” And I replied “Well, you our kind of our resident Indian expert in the company” (as he is the only person with Indian heritage in the company). > > He then said “I think what you just said was racist”. I would agree that the statement was racist. I’m a South Asian whose parents were born in the Indian subcontinent (my dad in India before the partition and my mom in Pakistan). I was born in the US. I’ve been to Pakistan like 3 times. Assuming I’d know anything about how Indians or Pakistanis think about websites would really piss me off. I do get asked “Where are you from” quite a bit, to which I quite tersely reply “New Jersey”. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/co-worker-accused-me-of-being-racist-was-he-right/953703/59 "2021-11-03T14:05:05Z")
> [@FinsToTheLeft](#): > > To add on to @RivkahChaya’s point, if you asked me about Israel I would likely not know as I’ve never been there. Brisket and guilt, that I can speak about. Conversely, people _ask_ me about the United States. Yes, my parents are from New Jersey; no, I was born here in Israel; yes, I lived there for a while; no, it was just a few years, and I’ve been back since 2002. 95% of what I know about America, I know from the internet, so please stop asking me. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/co-worker-accused-me-of-being-racist-was-he-right/953703/60 "2021-11-03T14:08:15Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > White people: shorthand for dominant culture/race in USA as well as a large percentage of the globe, whether they are numerically dominant or not. I’m sure that there are some other places where the dominant culture/race isn’t white, and that there, possibly, another seen-as-lesser/foreign race/culture has the same thing happen to them, because oblivious and insensitive people live all over the world. Yeah, well, it’s not a white people issue. Your shorthand is wrong. White people can be seen as lesser minorities in certain cultures. Yet you insist on using the insensitive term “white people” as a category of people who are something bad. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/co-worker-accused-me-of-being-racist-was-he-right/953703.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/co-worker-accused-me-of-being-racist-was-he-right/953703.md?page=4)