# Coast Guard to sink Japanese Ghost Ship **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 5, 2012, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coast-guard-to-sink-japanese-ghost-ship/617924 "2012-04-05T16:49:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2012, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coast-guard-to-sink-japanese-ghost-ship/617924/61 "2012-04-11T19:00:54Z")
Well, yeah. But the Coast Guard cutter assigned the task doesn’t _have_ a 5 inch gun. In fact, I don’t know if the CG has any heavier weapons deployed in District 17. It’s not like we are anticipating war with Canada. Much. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2012, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coast-guard-to-sink-japanese-ghost-ship/617924/62 "2012-04-11T19:15:48Z")
hitting the ship above the water line also provides paths for air to vent out of the ship. if it was only hit below the waterline then air would have to leave by whatever paths that already existed. they likely wanted it to sink quicker after the target practice. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coast-guard-to-sink-japanese-ghost-ship/617924/63 "2012-04-12T02:41:35Z")
> [@Bumbershoot](#): > > To further distract the giant stoned robot when it came ashore, a huge mound of [Shrimp Chips](http://www.calbeeamerica.com/calbee-snacks-shrimp-chips.html) was deposited on the beach. The authorities knew the evil machine would have a monumental case of the munchies and took advantage of its previous history as a shrimp trawler. > > I need something heroic to do on the cruise ship so Jake Gyllenhaal can play me in the movie. Perhaps I could rescue a group of nuns who are trapped by the craps table in the casino (they were on a roll and wouldn’t leave) and I could lead them to a lifeboat. You could rescue the Igloo Ice Chest containing all of the Molsens (and the Sacramental Wine) while on the life boat. As the high & munchied transformer trawler approached, tossing bails of pot into its smoke-stack and firing them up menacingly, you could hide the ice chest behind you while throwing all your remaining food directly at the steel-beastie while raising the Mother Superior’s cane and shouting… “YOU SHALL NOT FAST…!” And if the nuns wish to ask you whatever they can possibly do to thank you, you’ll simply stand, point to your jeans and say, “Fly, You Fools…!” ---
**Author:** ![Bumbershoot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbershoot/32/3428_2.png) [@Bumbershoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbershoot)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coast-guard-to-sink-japanese-ghost-ship/617924/64 "2012-04-12T12:34:20Z")
So I save the nuns _and_ the beer? Plus a (literal) shout-out to Gandalf? I like it! ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coast-guard-to-sink-japanese-ghost-ship/617924/65 "2012-04-12T13:04:44Z")
> [@Alka\_Seltzer](#): > > [M]ost of the holes are no-where near the waterline. I don’t know if that is due to inaccuracy, or because they used it for target practice. I’m guessing a little from column A and a little from column B. My interpretation of that picture is that the ship is listing to the starboard. That would put several of the holes below the water line (although that doesn’t mean they weren’t put there after the ship began to list). But I do believe they were getting in some practice with new weaponry. One article I read discussed using the MK38 for dealing with speedboats, so they may not have been interested only in sinking the ship, but also in testing their ability to hit at deck level using below decks controls. Not to mention that a skip shot with a remote controlled cannon–regardless of how advanced the optics system–can’t be easy even if you’ve had practice. (Assuming they were trying skip shots.) > [@Capt\_Kirk](#): > > If they were trying to sink the ship quickly, their Naval Gunnery skills need serious practice, looks like a drunk at the gun range could do a better job:D Maybe it was the contact high? But seriously, they may have been putting a fairly new weapon through its paces more than trying to quickly sink their target. And the analogy of a stoned kid at an arcade might be more apt too. The control system is below decks and has a joystick with a video screen. I can imagine a line with lots of jockeying and “I’m Next.” ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coast-guard-to-sink-japanese-ghost-ship/617924/66 "2012-04-12T16:36:55Z")
I have to admit if I was there, I would have a blast shooting at that ship and would do anything to prolong the joy by not sinking it “Is that a tank of fuel? can I light it on fire? watch this” “Ooh awesome shot, that is totally on fire, my turn” Yep I would blow the s\*\*\* out of that ship, it would be a blast ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2012, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coast-guard-to-sink-japanese-ghost-ship/617924/67 "2012-04-13T13:58:38Z")
> [@Capt\_Kirk](#): > > I have to admit if I was there, I would have a blast shooting at that ship and would do anything to prolong the joy by not sinking it > > “Is that a tank of fuel? can I light it on fire? watch this” > “Ooh awesome shot, that is totally on fire, my turn” > > Yep I would blow the s\*\*\* out of that ship, it would be a blast I can see it [now…](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fg58hVEY5Og&feature=player_detailpage#t=113s)😃 ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2012, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coast-guard-to-sink-japanese-ghost-ship/617924/68 "2012-04-13T14:20:43Z")
> [@Bumbershoot](#): > > So I save the nuns _and_ the beer? Plus a (literal) shout-out to Gandalf? I like it! deleted scenes left on the cutting room floor _Facing the Monster_ Jake Gyllenhaal stands at the bow of the lifeboat, nuns cowering behind him, with a sleeve torn tank-top and specially made jeans that pinch his buns harder than a drunk office worker after 3 appletinis. He stares at the approaching metal fiend without flinching. _Nuns discover beer_ After floating in the middle of the pacific in the life boat for two days without water while staring at Jake Gyllenhaal, the nuns break down and open the first bottle of cold Molsen. Leaning back against the gunnel resting his arms along the sides with his legs crossed, Jake Gyllenhaal pulls wrapping papers out of his pocket with one hand and picks up a handful of dropped weed with the other. In one quick motion, he rolls the cigarette, lights it, and blows a puff of smoke into the air. Smiling. _Lost Plane_ A Cessna that was supposed to pull banners at beaches & hopeless lost flies over the lifeboat. Black and white habits spell out the word “Help”. A man in the middle of what seems like a mass of writhing bodies holds up a frosty green beer bottle & waves. And that man looks an awful lot like… Jake Gyllenhaal… ---
**Author:** ![NoCoolUserName](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5fc32e/32.png) [@NoCoolUserName](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoCoolUserName)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2012, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coast-guard-to-sink-japanese-ghost-ship/617924/69 "2012-04-14T04:45:44Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > “All the Pot in BC? Are you Mad?”… CB, you are now officially my all-time hero. This is brilliant. I will have the Monty Python (OK, _EX_-Monty Python) team call you at once for script consultation. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbershoot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbershoot/32/3428_2.png) [@Bumbershoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbershoot)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2012, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coast-guard-to-sink-japanese-ghost-ship/617924/70 "2012-04-14T12:34:16Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > deleted scenes left on the cutting room floor > > _Facing the Monster_ > > Jake Gyllenhaal stands at the bow of the lifeboat, nuns cowering behind him, with a sleeve torn tank-top and specially made jeans that pinch his buns harder than a drunk office worker after 3 appletinis. He stares at the approaching metal fiend without flinching. > > _Nuns discover beer_ > > After floating in the middle of the pacific in the life boat for two days without water while staring at Jake Gyllenhaal, the nuns break down and open the first bottle of cold Molsen. Leaning back against the gunnel resting his arms along the sides with his legs crossed, Jake Gyllenhaal pulls wrapping papers out of his pocket with one hand and picks up a handful of dropped weed with the other. In one quick motion, he rolls the cigarette, lights it, and blows a puff of smoke into the air. Smiling. > > _Lost Plane_ > > A Cessna that was supposed to pull banners at beaches & hopeless lost flies over the lifeboat. Black and white habits spell out the word “Help”. A man in the middle of what seems like a mass of writhing bodies holds up a frosty green beer bottle & waves. > And that man looks an awful lot like… Jake Gyllenhaal… Of course, the nuns will look like [this](http://www.howtomakeit.com/wp-content/uploads/Kate-Upton-11-290x290.jpg) since they were hanging out at the jacuzzi before heading to the casino. I have to say, you have described me to a T in your scenarios. It’s like you know me. I would absolutely do everything you listed above, that’s just the kind of guy I am. I would bravely and selflessly rescue the nuns and the poor defenseless beer (and any puppies that happened to be on board), with no regard for my own personal safety. So if our ship actually does get attacked by a giant nuclear robot transformer, and you hear reports of me crying like a little girl and knocking nuns out of the way to get to a lifeboat, don’t believe it. That was someone else. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coast-guard-to-sink-japanese-ghost-ship/617924.md?page=3)