Ikey! Ikey! burning bright
In cyber space through the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful dictionary?
In what distant dank Yankee lair
Laid he the Queens English bare ?
On what substance dare he inhale?
What the hand dare mock impale?
And what shoulder, and what art,
Could twist the sinews of this old fart
And when the fart began his cheer,
The English cried: “Get outta here !”
What the grammar? what the shame?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the verb? what dread grasp
Dare Ike’s deadly language clasp?
<finking out loud>
And if bastardising Blake don’t rile 'im up, nuffin will.
</finking out loud>
I loved it.
But now what do I do with this absolutely terrific pun on “urinous” saved up from your OP? :o
By the shores of the Thames River
From the metropolis of England
Posts the wily London Calling,
Resource man on all things English.
Seek ye facts on matters British?
London Calling will produce them.
Now of Blake he makes a pastiche,
Like the mighty Ukulele
Who, when asked if he likes Kipling,
Answers, “No, I’ve never kippled.”
If to you I mock Longfellow
I tell you it’s not his meter
From the mighty Finns he stole it
Who used it in Kalevala.
In Afghanistan did Rudyard K
A bastardized pronunciation decree :
Where Kabul, that bombed-out city, sat
In the mountains, while being pounded flat
By some Tomahawks and an F-15E.
So twice five flights of laser-guided bombs
While Americans back home discussed with aplomb :
Whether KAH-b’l or Cobble until they had their fill,
The argument (or discussion) raged in the thread ;
But then, lest they invoke the long-gone Wildest Bill,
They reached consensus, and left the thread for dead.
[sub]Cut me some slack, I feel like I’m as much opium as Coleridge was…[/sub]
Just want to quickly bump this because I forgot to offer fulsome thanks to Poly for his delicious Longfellow - it suddenly played on my mind that I hadn’t. Cheers !
Also, I feel a little guilty for calling the esteemed ** Ukulele Ike** an old fart, but we’re of not dissimilar ages so I hope he understood.
Just this afternoon I heard “cabble”.