# Coffee is banned. Your response? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 11, 2009, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189 "2009-11-11T15:53:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![tacoloco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tacoloco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tacoloco)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/21 "2009-11-11T16:27:18Z")
I love coffee, but I’d just drink tea instead. ---
**Author:** ![Fetchund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b2d939/32.png) [@Fetchund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fetchund)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/22 "2009-11-11T16:37:28Z")
hey- Is medical Coffee legal in come states? I’m on it by doctor’s orders - I swear! ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/23 "2009-11-11T16:47:40Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Oh, come on, **Oak**! I was counting on you leading the resistance! I mean, do you really want to trust **me** to be in charge? Sorry, we have to follow the script. First we rescue the Princess (and score some primo Columbian dark roast for Oakmom), then I collect the reward and walk away while you lead the attack on the Death Star. When things look grim, me and Chewie will jump in and cover you while you take the shot. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/24 "2009-11-11T16:49:26Z")
A nice glass tea and some caffeine pills should stave off the headache long enough to kill everyone between me and my java. Those still alive after my wife gets done with them, which won’t be many. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/25 "2009-11-11T16:51:44Z")
I’ll get heavily into tea. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/26 "2009-11-11T16:57:03Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > Promise me some flamethrowers and we’ll talk. I should think that, provided a fleet of fueled and armed helicopter gunships (and robot pilots for same) that you’d be able to obtain you _own_ flamethrowers. I’m losing confidence. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/27 "2009-11-11T16:57:10Z")
I don’t drink it, as I’m kind of hypersensitive to caffeine, but banning it would be a perfect way to make sure that consultants and university students became consumers of other drugs, became a ravenous zombie horde or died off: the second option seems the most likely one. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/28 "2009-11-11T17:01:30Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I should think that, provided a fleet of fueled and armed helicopter gunships (and robot pilots for same) that you’d be able to obtain you _own_ flamethrowers. I’m losing confidence. You say that as though the answer to any problem isn’t “more flamethrowers”. I’m starting to have my doubts about you as well. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/29 "2009-11-11T17:12:43Z")
I always thought, that should I survive a nuclear holocaust, and all of the attending aftermath, it would be the lack of locally grown coffee here in the continental US that might drive me around the bend. Hawaii might as well be on the moon once the bombs drop! I chose “they should have taken my gun first”. And I don’t even have a gun. And I don’t drink that much coffee, really - one to two cups a day, never more, but I NEED that first cup in the morning. It’s my biggest vice. ---
**Author:** ![cuberdon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/45deac/32.png) [@cuberdon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuberdon)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/30 "2009-11-11T17:15:49Z")
San Francisco will naturally be a hotbed of resistance. Too bad about California gun control. Trebuchets it is. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/31 "2009-11-11T17:16:34Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > You say that as though the answer to any problem isn’t “more flamethrowers”. \*“The warehouse is on fire!” the Rhymer simpered. “And the last of our hoarded coffee is in there!” “Don’t worry,” Diana laughed. “I’ve got a flame-thrower, and there’s two more on the way.”\* This story ends with the furious townsfolk throwing you into the flames with the doomed beans. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/32 "2009-11-11T17:16:58Z")
I only drink one cup of coffee per day, but that cuppa joe is the nail on which my life hangs. Take that away, and my response will be…undesirable. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/33 "2009-11-11T17:18:16Z")
I tasted it once. \*Once. \* Diet Dr Pepper is my drink of choice, morning, noon, and night. But I will stand by you, my brethren, lest TNOTG™\* be next on the banned list. I mistakenly voted “I don’t give a damn,” but I meant to vote “I don’t drink coffee, but I still will oppose the ban judicially and/or politically.” \*The Nectar of the Gods, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Swords\_to\_Plowshares](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Swords\_to\_Plowshares](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swords_to_Plowshares)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/34 "2009-11-11T17:18:27Z")
I drink a cup a day. If it isn’t a big hassle to get Prohibition coffee I’ll get it; otherwise I’ll just switch to tea. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/35 "2009-11-11T17:21:14Z")
I don’t have a gun, but this would be enough to make me want to buy one. Better yet, a 500-km asteroid, or some antimatter. ---
**Author:** ![Fetchund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b2d939/32.png) [@Fetchund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fetchund)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/36 "2009-11-11T17:24:24Z")
Hey, hey, hey, now - **Skald** and **DianaG** … No need to get all testy here. Can’t we all just sit down and discuss this over a cuppa joe? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/37 "2009-11-11T17:29:18Z")
I voted “other”. I have a green thumb, and some experience that I’d rather not detail. I’d be all about growin my own. ---
**Author:** ![not\_alice](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_alice/32/7283_2.png) [@not\_alice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_alice)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/38 "2009-11-11T17:32:35Z")
I’d short Starbucks. ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/39 "2009-11-11T17:39:14Z")
I don’t really drink coffee on anything that could be considered a regular basis, but if it were to about to banned I’d oppose it. If only because Dr Pepper would be soon afterwards on the hit list and I’d prefer to oppose such a thing as early as possible instead of waiting until The Man starts aiming specifically for Dr Pepper. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/40 "2009-11-11T17:40:45Z")
> [@Anne\_Neville](#): > > I don’t have a gun, but this would be enough to make me want to buy one. > > Better yet, a 500-km asteroid, or some antimatter. Talk to Ordnance about the antimatter. We’ll call that “Plan C.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189.md?page=3)