# Coffee is banned. Your response? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 11, 2009, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189 "2009-11-11T15:53:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/41 "2009-11-11T17:42:57Z")
I chose the first option even though I don’t have a gun but really my first response to a coffee ban would be NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I’m not sure how helpful I’d be in a rebellion since I’d most likely be traveling back alleys looking to score some Joe. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/42 "2009-11-11T17:51:46Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > \*“The warehouse is on fire!” the Rhymer simpered. “And the last of our hoarded coffee is in there!” > > “Don’t worry,” Diana laughed. “I’ve got a flame-thrower, and there’s two more on the way.”\* > > This story ends with the furious townsfolk throwing you into the flames with the doomed beans. Silly townsfolk. Had they left me alone and let the fire burn out, they’d have had plenty of coffee, it just would have tasted like Starbucks. Now it’s gonna taste like Starbucks with the added bitterness of Burnt Diana, which may well make it undrinkable for most. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/43 "2009-11-11T17:52:24Z")
I drink water, milk and juice: no coffee or sodas. So it wouldn’t bother me, but I wouldn’t actively protest a ban, either. It would just be, “Oh. Okay. Whatever.” Until my mother-in-law can get back on her feet and start the mass murdering spree, that is. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/44 "2009-11-11T17:52:38Z")
Espresso is my last remaining vice. If they take that away, there goes my reason for existing. If we go to war over this, at least our troops will be wide-awake and will have hair-trigger response times. ---
**Author:** ![Todderbob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@Todderbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Todderbob)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/45 "2009-11-11T17:55:17Z")
That’s a ridiculous step centered right in the middle of totalitarianism. I’ll smuggle those beans up from Mexico to help fund the resistance, and I’ll fight along side my fellows! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/46 "2009-11-11T17:57:02Z")
I don’t own a gun, but if they come for my coffee, I’ll buy one and learn to use it, so I can join the Revolution. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/47 "2009-11-11T17:58:38Z")
you can have the coffee, now give me my betel nuts! ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/48 "2009-11-11T18:00:02Z")
I’'ll join the resistance… Right after this cup of coffee. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/49 "2009-11-11T18:21:32Z")
Of course, you also have to consider the _implications_ this ban has on the economy of the good ol’ US of A! Just imagine it: in addition to the folks already on the unemployment rosters, we can add: Starbucks Baristas; all those Hawaiian folks who grow Kona (come on, they’re 'Mericans, too!), all the folks who are employed to process the Eight O’Clock, Folger’s and Maxwell House coffees, and right on down the line! What about the drop in sales of coffee creamers and such, huh? Betcha never even _thought_ of that, didja? Huh? Huh? Nope, betcha didn’t! Catastrophe, I says! Catastrophe! ---
**Author:** ![JR\_Brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JR\_Brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JR_Brown)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/50 "2009-11-11T18:37:43Z")
I cannot vote until you clarify whether this ban also extends to coffee-flavored ice cream. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/51 "2009-11-11T18:39:11Z")
There wasn’t an option for “curl up in the fetal position, suck my thumb and sob” so I chose the gun thing. I can always use the gun to shoot myself. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/52 "2009-11-11T18:46:07Z")
> [@JR\_Brown](#): > > I cannot vote until you clarify whether this ban also extends to coffee-flavored ice cream. Of course it would. I’m fairly sure it will also extend to Red Bull and other highly caffeinated beverages. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/53 "2009-11-11T19:07:03Z")
Shouldn’t this be in “About This Message Board”? ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/54 "2009-11-11T19:11:55Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Of course it would. I’m fairly sure it will also extend to Red Bull and other highly caffeinated beverages. Now that changes the question completely, with no caffeine source I would have to kill people if only so my adrenaline could mask the lack of caffeine. Just point me in a direction and I’ll kill all the way to the ocean. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/55 "2009-11-11T19:14:43Z")
> [@Oredigger77](#): > > Now that changes the question completely, with no caffeine source I would have to kill people if only so my adrenaline could mask the lack of caffeine. Just point me in a direction and I’ll kill all the way to the ocean. I am sorry but both Fred Phelps and Ann Coulter have disappeared from my repeater-scope and I cannot aim you in their direction at this time. I still have a lock on Glenn Beck but the Council has decided that he is to be spared for the nonce, as being himself is its own punishment. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/56 "2009-11-11T19:24:18Z")
RRRRRGHGGHAAHA My head! RRRR Light bright, noise loud, brain hurt. Hulk SMASH. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/57 "2009-11-11T19:28:10Z")
Armed revolution. ---
**Author:** ![Svejk\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@Svejk\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Svejk_1)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/58 "2009-11-11T20:26:22Z")
You know, I like coffee a lot but I could still funct… zzz zzz zzz zzz zzz zzz zzz zzz ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/59 "2009-11-11T20:41:07Z")
I don’t drink coffee, but if it’s banned I’m not going back to the office until my coworkers are over their withdrawals. About a year should do. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/60 "2009-11-11T21:16:57Z")
> [@JR\_Brown](#): > > I cannot vote until you clarify whether this ban also extends to coffee-flavored ice cream. I was about to say I do drink coffee but can stop anytime. But I will need clarification on the point above. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189.md?page=4)