# Coffee is banned. Your response? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 11, 2009, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189 "2009-11-11T15:53:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/101 "2009-11-13T17:34:47Z")
> [@Daerlyn](#): > > Stupid fat hobbit! You forgot ‘I drink coffee, and by taking it away you have rendered me incapable of resistance’. Now give me back my precious! :: slowly and contemptuously drinks half of Daerlyn’s coffee and then pours the rest onto the ground next to the azalea bush :: I must be addlepated. How do you expect to enforce your will, given that I have coffee and you do not? ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/102 "2009-11-13T17:35:33Z")
I’d find it no more or less ridiculous than the ban on Marijuana. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/103 "2009-11-13T17:48:43Z")
Wha? Huh buh… zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz The last time I tried to go a day without caffeine was almost twenty years ago, and I couldn’t do much the whole day but sleep. Seriously. ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/104 "2009-11-13T22:27:56Z")
You wanna take my coffee? [Come and get it.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M59I8eShAr8) ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/105 "2009-11-14T10:42:01Z")
I also like Stupid fat hobbit! I will make you wish you had never been born if you don’t drop the coffee and back the fuck off :::crushes can of Diet Mountain Dew into forehead::: Now give me back my precious! ---
**Author:** ![Daerlyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Daerlyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daerlyn)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/106 "2009-11-14T14:41:44Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > :: slowly and contemptuously drinks half of Daerlyn’s coffee and then pours the rest onto the ground next to the azalea bush :: > > I must be addlepated. How do you expect to enforce your will, given that I have coffee and you do not? I have faith that one of my less-caffeine-addled friends will eventually get around to hooking up a Jolt Cola IV drip, and then I’ll getcha. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/107 "2009-11-14T15:00:53Z")
I have an anxiety disorder, so I can’t drink caffeine. And decaf, unfortunately, still has some caffeine in it. I said I would oppose it judiciously or polically, but, since I’m busy dealing with my own problems, it would have to be because someone else started it, and my contribution would be minimal. (Like maybe signing a petition, copying a letter to congress.) I’d do a lot of bitching about it on the Dope, though. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Lucky\_13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucky_13/32/13209_2.png) [@Lucky\_13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky_13)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/108 "2009-11-14T18:24:14Z")
I would become a smuggler. My dad knows a guy who knows a guy who has a coffee farm in El Salvador. It wouldn’t be too difficult for me to pull a few strings and ensure a steady supply for me and my friends, and anyone who won’t snitch on me. ---
**Author:** ![medstar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f07891/32.png) [@medstar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/medstar)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/109 "2009-11-15T03:13:23Z")
> [@KennerTheGreat](#): > > And you _ **really** _ don’t want to be the person who tells us Canucks that we can’t have our Timmy’s. What, you won’t be polite any more?😃 ::d&r:: ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/110 "2009-11-16T05:51:34Z")
My username says it all. ---
**Author:** ![RedWood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f08c70/32.png) [@RedWood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedWood)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/111 "2009-11-16T06:04:15Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > really my first response to a coffee ban would be NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! /me restates hers, more politely: Silly Skald! You forgot “Running At Prohibitionists With A Very Sharp Axe and a Battlecry!” Now Give Me Back My Precious! :D:D:D ---
**Author:** ![Sinaptics](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Sinaptics](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sinaptics)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/112 "2009-11-16T19:54:13Z")
> [@](#): > > Those who were looking on heard what was neither bark nor yelp, but a something which is best described as a roar Seriously, that’s the only thing I could think of when I read the question. I can just imagine the uncheckable, uncontrollable scream that would leave my throat before the bloodshed began. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/113 "2009-11-16T20:18:31Z")
The only thing keeping those fuckers who stole my coffee safe is the fact that I would have to swim through molasses to get them. I have no idea how non-caffeinated people can stand it. ---
**Author:** ![akira5822](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/53a042/32.png) [@akira5822](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/akira5822)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/114 "2009-11-16T23:41:59Z")
Arms thermonuclear device 😛 ---
**Author:** ![GameHat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ed655f/32.png) [@GameHat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GameHat)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/115 "2009-11-17T02:04:10Z")
Seriously, if coffee was ever to be banned I’d join a militia. ---
**Author:** ![KennerTheGreat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a8b319/32.png) [@KennerTheGreat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KennerTheGreat)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/116 "2009-11-17T03:05:19Z")
> [@medstar](#): > > What, you won’t be polite any more?😃 > > ::d&r:: I once saw a mom bitch out her two young children because “ALL I WANT IS A TIM HORTON’S COFFEE!!!111!!” You can’t ban Timmy’s. [Where will everyone get their nicotine fix?](http://www.snopes.com/food/ingredient/timhortons.asp) 😉 ---
**Author:** ![T.Slothrop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3e96dc/32.png) [@T.Slothrop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/T.Slothrop)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/117 "2009-11-17T05:16:35Z")
Coma ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/118 "2009-11-17T05:21:58Z")
I will need weaponry to defend myself against the crazed masses. I’ll still have my 'Dew, so I’ll be fine. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/119 "2009-11-17T18:50:51Z")
> [@dnooman](#): > > I will need weaponry to defend myself against the crazed masses. I’ll still have my 'Dew, so I’ll be fine. Until the diabetes kicks in. ---
**Author:** ![Belrix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed655f/32.png) [@Belrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belrix)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189/120 "2009-11-17T20:11:38Z")
I’m a big coffee drinker. I’d oppose the legislation and, if it passed, I’d lament and probably give up coffee. It’s not a so huge a thing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coffee-is-banned-your-response/517189.md?page=7)