# Coitus Eternatus **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 20, 2012, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coitus-eternatus/625765 "2012-06-20T17:21:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2012, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coitus-eternatus/625765/1 "2012-06-20T17:21:54Z")
And I though my prom night went badly. [http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/47884202](http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/47884202) ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2012, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coitus-eternatus/625765/2 "2012-06-20T18:36:16Z")
Their last thought was “…so worth it…” ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2012, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coitus-eternatus/625765/3 "2012-06-20T18:52:09Z")
\< Laura Holt \> On the wall? Like graffiti? \< /Laura Holt \> ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2012, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coitus-eternatus/625765/4 "2012-06-20T18:57:09Z")
For erections lasting more than 4 millennia, call a doctor. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2012, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coitus-eternatus/625765/5 "2012-06-20T19:18:17Z")
Cool. Thanks for sharing. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2012, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coitus-eternatus/625765/6 "2012-06-20T19:21:31Z")
Well. That’s the last time I have sex in a lake’s deep layers which hold deadly volcanic gases or other toxins. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2012, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coitus-eternatus/625765/7 "2012-06-20T19:27:26Z")
Hell, thats about the only time I CAN get some. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2012, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coitus-eternatus/625765/8 "2012-06-20T19:35:48Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > For erections lasting more than 4 millennia, call a doctor. Cretaceous. So you’ll always be ready. And you know that lady turtle is still thinking “geezus, when will he be done so I can get some damn sleep?”. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2012, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coitus-eternatus/625765/9 "2012-06-20T19:38:10Z")
This is what happens if you use Cialis and spend too much time in those damned tandem bathtubs. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2012, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coitus-eternatus/625765/10 "2012-06-20T19:41:30Z")
Maybe it’s just the incurable romantic in me, but I hope they leave them like that. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2012, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coitus-eternatus/625765/11 "2012-06-20T19:45:06Z")
My Bapist neighbor would hit em with a fire hose. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2012, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coitus-eternatus/625765/12 "2012-06-20T22:24:45Z")
Doesn’t matter, had sex. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2012, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coitus-eternatus/625765/13 "2012-06-21T00:56:03Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Well. That’s the last time I have sex in a lake’s deep layers which hold deadly volcanic gases or other toxins. [Probably wise.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bogle-Chandler_case) ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2012, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coitus-eternatus/625765/14 "2012-06-21T03:59:31Z")
This is what happens when turtles go tantric. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2012, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coitus-eternatus/625765/15 "2012-06-21T04:44:13Z")
All that photo needs is a caption: “Viagra. Ask your doctor.” ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2012, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coitus-eternatus/625765/16 "2012-06-21T04:50:45Z")
My daughter has a theory: the lake was the scene of a turtle horror movie! It’s always the kids who go off to have sex who die. ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2012, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coitus-eternatus/625765/17 "2012-06-21T16:59:16Z")
At least they died happy ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2012, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coitus-eternatus/625765/18 "2012-06-21T17:04:54Z")
The missing second chapter of that Aesop’s fable. ---
**Author:** ![OtisCampbellWasRight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/d78d45/32.png) [@OtisCampbellWasRight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtisCampbellWasRight)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coitus-eternatus/625765/19 "2012-06-22T19:33:05Z")
> [@Frodo](#): > > At least they died happy Ya’know…if I HAD to pick a way to go…😃 ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coitus-eternatus/625765/20 "2012-06-22T19:50:18Z")
Making sweet love to a turtle and being buried alive in mud while doing so is NOT my idea of a great way to go. YMMV obviously. Though I will say it IS probably the best I can hope for. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coitus-eternatus/625765.md?page=2)