# Colbert's Balls **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 5, 2006, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-balls/355572 "2006-05-05T18:04:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2006, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-balls/355572/41 "2006-05-06T04:22:02Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > Naw, it was a rather ephemeral nitpick (the best kind!). I think that wiki has the definition wrong, at least, I’ve always understood the verb “tea bagging” to refer to the act of a person tonguing someone’s balls. Much like “blowing” or “going down on”. > > And I think that’s probably all I’m gonna say about that one 😃 Now, that just makes no sense. What do you do with a tea bag? You dip it in and out of your cup of water. Tea bagging is where a guy dips his nutsack into the face of someone else, but like a real tea bag. Cite: Our entire high school wrestling team used to go on and on about how bad ass they were, because each of them would ALWAYS tea bag their opponent. I would just stare and say, “And that’s NOT gay HOW?” Then they’d get all serious and be like, “Man, it’s totally not gay.” Then they’d prance off in their little leotards. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2006, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-balls/355572/42 "2006-05-06T05:47:50Z")
I’m going to come down on **NI** ’s side on this one. Comedy Central isn’t carried in this neck of the woods, so I’ve never seen Colbert’s show, nor have I heard about his running ball gag\*. I thought it was just one of the lines that occasionally gets popular around here and sprouts dozens of semi-related threads. \*use this as you will. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2006, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-balls/355572/43 "2006-05-06T05:53:31Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > Now, that just makes no sense. What do you do with a tea bag? You dip it in and out of your cup of water. Eh… regional slang? I’ve always heard it as “she was tea bagging him.” or such. I guess since it’s the Pit we can always fight over it 😉 ---
**Author:** ![aldiboronti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@aldiboronti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aldiboronti)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2006, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-balls/355572/44 "2006-05-06T06:01:34Z")
Alec Baldwin’s character in _Glengarry Glen Ross_ displays a set of brass balls to the nervous sales reps. I’m assuming that this is where Colbert got the schtick from. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2006, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-balls/355572/45 "2006-05-06T06:12:24Z")
I for one was disappointed. Steven failed to captalize on the moment to chastise Bush for not taking the BEAR problem seriously. Godless killers wandering in from Canada and eating American childern. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2006, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-balls/355572/46 "2006-05-06T06:17:46Z")
> [@Martini Enfield](#): > > I’m not familiar with any of his other work (it not getting broadcast in these parts unless you have Pay TV), so would someone like to give me the edited highlights of what _The Colbert Report_ is actually about? He makes fun of the right wing by pretending to be one of them…and then taking it to the next level by stating that the president cannot be wrong. If the president and reality conflict, obviously reality is wrong. That’s colbert’s message. He doesn’t really believe that, but he’s mocking those media personalities who apparently do(Sean Hannity, for one). ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2006, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-balls/355572/47 "2006-05-06T06:28:50Z")
The format is that of a talk show modelled on largely on Bill O’Reilly’s “O’Reilly Factor” (which was originally called “The O’Reilly Report”). He pontificates on the news of the day, he pats himself on the back and he interviews guests (they’re real guests but he always does the interviews in character). If you can imagine a SNL parody of O’Reilly, that’s pretty much what it is, but it’s smarter and dryer than the usual SNL fare. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2006, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-balls/355572/48 "2006-05-06T06:31:29Z")
Almost forgot. “Report” is pronounced with a silent ‘t’ to rhyme with Colbert. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2006, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-balls/355572/49 "2006-05-06T07:22:28Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > If you can imagine a SNL parody of O’Reilly, that’s pretty much what it is, but it’s smarter and dryer than the usual SNL fare. Saturday Night Live isn’t on free to air TV here (and never has been, AFAIK) and I’ve never heard of Bill O’Reilly either- so I’m afraid I can’t really imagine what an SNL parody of him would be like. I can, however, imagine a parody of right-wing newscasters deciding reality is wrong because it disagrees with El Presidente… Sounds like it’s a little too political for me, anyway. Still, thanks for the clarification, everyone! ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2006, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-balls/355572/50 "2006-05-06T07:25:14Z")
> [@Martini Enfield](#): > > Saturday Night Live isn’t on free to air TV here (and never has been, AFAIK) and I’ve never heard of Bill O’Reilly either- so I’m afraid I can’t really imagine what an SNL parody of him would be like. Oh boy… [just a jumping off point.](http://mediamatters.org/items/200412230006) O’Reilly is scum. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2006, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-balls/355572/51 "2006-05-06T12:22:57Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > Oh boy… [just a jumping off point.](http://mediamatters.org/items/200412230006) O’Reilly is scum. But you gotta admit - a real piece of man candy. ---
**Author:** ![New\_Iskander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/db5fbb/32.png) [@New\_Iskander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/New_Iskander)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2006, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-balls/355572/52 "2006-05-06T15:13:23Z")
Incidentally, O’Reilly is mostly critical of Bush. But calm down, he won’t be invited to dinner: too sincere and straightforward, another words Dull. That’s what the liberals got to keep in mind when they snicker about the glass being 68% empty. You think all those 68% percent think like you? May be 38% do think like you, at best. The rest 30% are the Minutemen, the Port Defenders, the O’Reilly fans etc. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2006, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-balls/355572/53 "2006-05-07T20:17:54Z")
> [@New Iskander](#): > > Incidentally, O’Reilly is mostly critical of Bush. Now that’s the biggest :dubious: I’m going to read all week. If Bill was any less critical of Bush, he’d be permanently camped beneath the desk in the Oval Office, performing services on 15-minute intervals. Unless, of course, your idea of “critical of Bush” means “occasionally showing bouts of disagreement with Brainless Leader”… ---
**Author:** ![Subterraneanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Subterraneanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Subterraneanus)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2006, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-balls/355572/54 "2006-05-07T20:21:12Z")
> [@New Iskander](#): > > Incidentally, O’Reilly is mostly critical of Bush. But calm down, he won’t be invited to dinner: too sincere and straightforward, another words Dull. > > That’s what the liberals got to keep in mind when they snicker about the glass being 68% empty. You think all those 68% percent think like you? May be 38% do think like you, at best. The rest 30% are the Minutemen, the Port Defenders, the O’Reilly fans etc. I haven’t been here long, but I’ve been here long enough to learn that you’re a fucking moron. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2006, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-balls/355572/55 "2006-05-07T22:11:47Z")
> [@Subterraneanus](#): > > I haven’t been here long, but I’ve been here long enough to learn that you’re a fucking moron. I think you’re figuring it out. Some people still hold to the idea that the only acceptable response to the president (so long as it’s Bush) is constant adulation and worship. Funny how it’s usually these same people who didn’t have the same (or any) reverence for previous presidents. As far as O’Reilly himself goes, there have already been many many threads discussing his deliberate falsehoods and misrepresentations. We spent weeks just on the “war on Christmas” fer chrissake. Entire websites have been devoted to this turd masquerading as a person. Anyone who still takes him seriously is beyond hope. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2006, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-balls/355572/56 "2006-05-07T22:44:12Z")
**New Iskander** , O’Reilly is more familiar with Bush’s balls than anybody here is with Colbert’s. ---
**Author:** ![New\_Iskander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/db5fbb/32.png) [@New\_Iskander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/New_Iskander)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-balls/355572/57 "2006-05-08T19:35:18Z")
> [@Subterraneanus](#): > > I haven’t been here long, but I’ve been here long enough to learn that you’re a fucking moron. Ouch! Another piece of straw! Guess I just shake it off… But since you are new here I give you a quick lesson on breaking opponents backs when all you have at your arsenal is straw. It’s all in the timing, you see. Observe very carefully how the opponent is straining, overloaded by bombardment produced by heavy hitters, who possess knowledge, substance and capacity to express themselves in original and coherent manner. Then, when collapse is clearly imminent, seize the moment! Drop your straw and accept the accolades. Voila, minimum effort and maximum reward! However, certain risks involved. Drop your straw at the wrong moment and all you accomplish is making a complete fool of yourself. ---
**Author:** ![pizzabrat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e9c0ed/32.png) [@pizzabrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pizzabrat)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-balls/355572/58 "2006-05-08T20:05:57Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > Eh… regional slang? I’ve always heard it as “she was tea bagging him.” or such. By young teens who stumble on sex slang terms in their over-eagerness to employ them, right? Because, like wiki, everyone else in this thread, and the plain figurative logic of the term says, you’re wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-balls/355572/59 "2006-05-08T20:14:09Z")
We’ve secretly replaced **New Iskander** ’s ad hominems with strawmen. Let’s see if he notices. -Joe, bets he won’t, because **NI** is a fucking moron ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-balls/355572/60 "2006-05-08T20:25:03Z")
Not to be too rough, but straw does serve a useful purpose. Farmers use it in barns a lot. I suspect it makes it easier to clean up or absorb all the horse shit 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-balls/355572.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-balls/355572.md?page=4)