# Colbert's Doom Bunker **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 5, 2009, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-doom-bunker/488418 "2009-03-05T19:10:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-doom-bunker/488418/21 "2009-03-05T23:19:18Z")
> [@ArchiveGuy](#): > > What can I say? I love the guy and both he and Stewart still deliver the goods quite regularly. > > But last night’s [Doom Bunker](http://www.salon.com/politics/war_room/2009/03/05/doom_bunker/index.html)? Out of the park, and one of the funniest things he’s done in a while. Especially with the nefarious twist: > > A Werewolf Congress!🆒 😃 I get “error reading module” whatever that means. Video no play. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-doom-bunker/488418/22 "2009-03-05T23:33:08Z")
The US auto industry is gone, but every car in America turns out to be…a Decepticon! ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-doom-bunker/488418/23 "2009-03-05T23:36:27Z")
Jon Stewart’s evisceration of CNBC last night was pretty good too. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2009, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-doom-bunker/488418/24 "2009-03-06T00:04:22Z")
> [@WarmNPrickly](#): > > Did anybody else think his regular guest was on speed? The guy was twitching like mad, sweating, and running his mouth off. I think Colbert had to cut him off at the end. I had to watch it twice just to make sure I wasn’t seeing things. Do you mean the music critic? “How do you feel about the band Ogre Milk?” “I love Ogre Milk.” “I just made that up.” He just seemed terrifically nervous, as I would be sitting across the table from Colbert. All the good scenes are on the Colbert Report website, in case anyone else has problems with the OP’s link. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2009, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-doom-bunker/488418/25 "2009-03-06T00:53:53Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Jon Stewart’s evisceration of CNBC last night was pretty good too. After I watched both shows, I commented to my friend that Colbert is a hell of a lot funnier than Stewart, but Stewart knows how to freakin’ drive a point _home_. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2009, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-doom-bunker/488418/26 "2009-03-06T01:53:54Z")
Jack Jacobs, Medal of Honor winner, retired colonel, scholar at the CFR: “Stephen, under no circumstances will we be firing nuclear weapons at decepticons!” ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2009, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-doom-bunker/488418/27 "2009-03-06T01:54:39Z")
That was hysterical. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Some\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ad7895/32.png) [@Just\_Some\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Some_Guy)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2009, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-doom-bunker/488418/28 "2009-03-06T01:58:15Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > “Stephen, under no circumstances will we be firing nuclear weapons at decepticons!” Appeasement is the only solution. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2009, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-doom-bunker/488418/29 "2009-03-06T01:59:38Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > Jack Jacobs, Medal of Honor winner, retired colonel, scholar at the CFR: > > “Stephen, under no circumstances will we be firing nuclear weapons at decepticons!” “Well, I think we should leave that on the table.” ---
**Author:** ![MeDrewNotYou](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@MeDrewNotYou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeDrewNotYou)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2009, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-doom-bunker/488418/30 "2009-03-06T02:36:23Z")
I admit Colbert has me very concerned now. Koala Pox? Does that mean all the cuddly little fellows die? Or is it a deadly-to-humans thing? 'Cuz hell with my fellow man, but if a koala dies, it’s on! ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2009, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-doom-bunker/488418/31 "2009-03-06T02:41:47Z")
Watched it just now. That’s definitely the funniest thing I’ve seen on Colbert in a few months, maybe since the conventions. I love it when he goes that far out with the batshit crazy ideas. I’d be happy to watch the Doom Bunker several times a week, although all that dry ice would cost a LOT of soybeans. That was the best performance I’ve seen out of Jon Stewart even longer. He’s fun when he screws up and laughs, but when he’s mad, he’s better, and he just destroyed Santelli and CNBC. That’s Stewart and The Daily Show at their best. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2009, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-doom-bunker/488418/32 "2009-03-06T03:27:46Z")
> [@Just\_Some\_Guy](#): > > I wasn’t sure if he had decided to play the straight man or if he just didn’t get it. Especially since the other guest seemed to start bewildered and then got into the goofy swing of things. I think the col. was playing a straight man and had lilkely been asked to. His reasonable responses made Colbert look even crazier. Especially since he was cherry picking bits of the col’s response to hear what he wanted. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2009, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-doom-bunker/488418/33 "2009-03-06T03:46:30Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > Jack Jacobs, Medal of Honor winner, retired colonel, scholar at the CFR: > > “Stephen, under no circumstances will we be firing nuclear weapons at decepticons!” That just about killed me when I heard it. ---
**Author:** ![jacquilynne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/67e7ee/32.png) [@jacquilynne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jacquilynne)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2009, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-doom-bunker/488418/34 "2009-03-06T04:04:10Z")
> [@WarmNPrickly](#): > > Did anybody else think his regular guest was on speed? The guy was twitching like mad, sweating, and running his mouth off. I think Colbert had to cut him off at the end. I had to watch it twice just to make sure I wasn’t seeing things. I’m reasonably sure Carl wasn’t on speed. I could ask him (he’s sort of a friend), but it seems like it would be kind of a rude question. He actually managed to get a lot of information about his book into the conversation which often isn’t true of Colbert’s guests. ---
**Author:** ![Gotterfunken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/58956e/32.png) [@Gotterfunken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gotterfunken)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2009, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-doom-bunker/488418/35 "2009-03-06T04:31:03Z")
That segment was hysterically funny. One of my favorite moments was after Colbert described the most terrifying scenario–Obama’s policies working and vindicating faith in the government–and he turns to Stephen Moore and says “This is gun-in-the-mouth time for you, isn’t it?” > [@MeDrewNotYou](#): > > I admit Colbert has me very concerned now. Koala Pox? Does that mean all the cuddly little fellows die? Or is it a deadly-to-humans thing? > > 'Cuz hell with my fellow man, but if a koala dies, it’s on! It’s not entirely clear, but it’s implied that all koalas will die. The pox isn’t contagious to humans (presumably), BUT it is to livestock–and herein lies the problem: all of our livestock will die from koalapox, forcing us to subsist on soybeans… which will also be our currency. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2009, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-doom-bunker/488418/36 "2009-03-06T04:56:32Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > Jack Jacobs, Medal of Honor winner, retired colonel, scholar at the CFR: > > “Stephen, under no circumstances will we be firing nuclear weapons at decepticons!” A man who’s learnt from his predecessors. I like that in a military man. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2009, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-doom-bunker/488418/37 "2009-03-06T05:12:51Z")
> [@Just\_Some\_Guy](#): > > I wasn’t sure if he had decided to play the straight man or if he just didn’t get it. Especially since the other guest seemed to start bewildered and then got into the goofy swing of things. No, Colbert briefs his guests before they come on, there’s a video of Senator Kerry backstage and Colbert bluntly asked him “you’re familiar with what we do here, right?” And basically told him he could play it straight or “join the life.” It’s pretty much impossible to NOT know you’re going to, in some way, be involved in satire. ---
**Author:** ![MeDrewNotYou](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@MeDrewNotYou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeDrewNotYou)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2009, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-doom-bunker/488418/38 "2009-03-06T05:26:46Z")
> [@Gotterfunken](#): > > It’s not entirely clear, but it’s implied that all koalas will die. The pox isn’t contagious to humans (presumably), BUT it is to livestock–and herein lies the problem: all of our livestock will die from koalapox, forcing us to subsist on soybeans… which will also be our currency. At least we still have pandas, RIGHT?! We have to save something cute, after all. But soybean currency should be good for me. Central Indiana is the new El Dorado! ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2009, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-doom-bunker/488418/39 "2009-03-06T05:49:51Z")
> [@Jragon](#): > > No, Colbert briefs his guests before they come on, there’s a video of Senator Kerry backstage and Colbert bluntly asked him “you’re familiar with what we do here, right?” And basically told him he could play it straight or “join the life.” It’s pretty much impossible to NOT know you’re going to, in some way, be involved in satire. Thank you for alerting me to this, I wasn’t aware it existed. [Here’s](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DfiL2hpnmZ0) the video in question. It sounds like he says “join the lie” which is even funnier. Also, “I’m an idiot to let them film this.” 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Invisible\_Chimp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f05b48/32.png) [@Invisible\_Chimp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Invisible_Chimp)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2009, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-doom-bunker/488418/40 "2009-03-06T06:34:51Z")
TDS’s skewering of CNBC was pretty popular on reddit. I watched that and I thought that was hilarious. In the comments section, I only saw one person mentioned Colbert’s Doom Bunker. The Doom Bunker was even funnier than Stewart. Stewart brings his A Game and Colbert one ups him and brings his A+ Game. I haven’t really watched either in a while, but that was one very solidly funny hour of TV. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-doom-bunker/488418.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/colberts-doom-bunker/488418.md?page=3)