# Coldfire is a big smelly jerk. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 9, 2003, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-a-big-smelly-jerk/147583 "2003-01-09T19:49:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![roadrunner70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@roadrunner70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roadrunner70)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-a-big-smelly-jerk/147583/41 "2003-01-10T00:44:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > \*\*Well, you can’t knock’em until you try’em, right? > > Tried one, so now I’m knocking them. Move over one lane, there’s a four cylinder with a redline higher than 3,000 RPM trying to get past, cowboy. 😉 \*\* Big, smelly jerk. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-a-big-smelly-jerk/147583/42 "2003-01-10T00:50:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Francesca \* > \*\*" > Coldfire is gihugic. I know. I’ve stood next to him. \*\* Whatja do, look under his kilt? Is it true what they say about the size of a man’s clogs… ---
**Author:** ![Xploder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/a183cd/32.png) [@Xploder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xploder)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-a-big-smelly-jerk/147583/43 "2003-01-10T01:44:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elf6c \* > \*\*Try “bring pie” > > That should do it. 😃 \*\* You guys are all pikers…try HAIRPIE… ---
**Author:** ![BrightEyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/2acd7d/32.png) [@BrightEyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrightEyes)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-a-big-smelly-jerk/147583/44 "2003-01-10T01:50:25Z")
i have a rant against coldfire i felt had to be said: Coldfire is satan. his heart is black as coals and he kicks puppies… I hate coldfire. you should hate coldfire too. So, do you think that’s worthy of posting in teeming extras? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Jonno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f19dbf/32.png) [@Jonno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonno)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-a-big-smelly-jerk/147583/45 "2003-01-10T02:28:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bristlesage \* > \*\*So, big, smelly, loud jerk, I say. \*\* I’ve met him briefly. He’s not all that big. He wasn’t loud. I didn’t find him smelly. And he’s not a…well…I guess he could be. I couldn’t really tell and I wasn’t paying attention. There was this cute girl next to him he ended up taking home, the bastard. Of course, he came with her too. Errr…showed up with her. I’ll go now. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-a-big-smelly-jerk/147583/46 "2003-01-10T04:45:11Z")
His penis is far too big. No penis should be transatlantic. ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_The\_Diver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Buck\_The\_Diver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_The_Diver)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-a-big-smelly-jerk/147583/47 "2003-01-10T04:46:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RTFirefly > \*_Everyone_ knows Clog-Boy is a _Nazi_. > \*\* **ALL MODS ARE NAZIS!** Man, I’ve _always_ wanted to say that. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-a-big-smelly-jerk/147583/48 "2003-01-10T14:25:27Z")
HEY! I _did_ call him a Nazi. Really, I did. It’s right up there in the OP. I really tried to follow the standard form the annual **Coldfire** January Pit Thread. Nitpickers. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-a-big-smelly-jerk/147583/49 "2003-01-10T14:42:19Z")
I would like to add that **Coldfire** is one of the few Mods I don’t actually know, but as he’s a big, smelly jerk, I can live with that. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-a-big-smelly-jerk/147583/50 "2003-01-10T14:49:19Z")
I have met **Coldfire**. I can assure you he is NOT odoriferous in any way. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-a-big-smelly-jerk/147583/51 "2003-01-10T15:00:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Francesca \* > \*\*“Ginormous” is not nearly as good a word as “gihugic”. > > Coldfire is gihugic. I know. I’ve stood next to him. \*\* Frannie, next to you, even Mortimer is gihugic. OW! ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-a-big-smelly-jerk/147583/52 "2003-01-10T15:04:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mangetout \* > \*\*I had _literally_ no idea Pele and Maradonna were Dutch. \*\* _Madonna is Dutch!!!_ ---
**Author:** ![mogiaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mogiaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mogiaw)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-a-big-smelly-jerk/147583/53 "2003-01-10T15:09:53Z")
hey stop all this Coldfire bashing. He is of sound mind and character. ---
**Author:** ![grimpixie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecb155/32.png) [@grimpixie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grimpixie)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-a-big-smelly-jerk/147583/54 "2003-01-10T15:13:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Weirddave \* > \*\*_Madonna is Dutch!!!_ \*\* How do you think he got into drugs??? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-a-big-smelly-jerk/147583/55 "2003-01-10T16:05:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Exgineer \* > HEY! > > I _did_ call him a Nazi. Really, I did. > > It’s right up there in the OP. I really tried to follow the standard form the annual **Coldfire** January Pit Thread. > > Nitpickers. ::looks back at OP:: Sonofagun - you did indeed. OK, you’re off the hook then. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![TigoleBitties](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cab0a1/32.png) [@TigoleBitties](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TigoleBitties)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-a-big-smelly-jerk/147583/56 "2003-01-10T17:34:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by E-Sabbath \* > \*\*His penis is far too big. No penis should be transatlantic. \*\* And to derail into ‘101 big dick jokes’ -Coldfire’s dick is so big he can only fuck elevator shafts -Coldfire’s dick is so big it only plays arenas -Coldfire’s dick is so big he can wear it like a necktie, but he is afraid he will get hard and strangle himself -Coldfire’s dick is so big they threaded fiber optic wire through it and use it to support Straight Dope’s Server Bandwidth -Coldfire’s dick is so big movie theater’s now carry their soda sizes in small, medium, large, and Coldfire’s Dick -Coldfire’s dick is so big it has several corpses of climbers frozen in the ice near the head Thank you Drew Carey! ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-a-big-smelly-jerk/147583/57 "2003-01-10T17:48:33Z")
feh. He’s a great big jessie, but he does have decieving curbs. ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-a-big-smelly-jerk/147583/58 "2003-01-10T20:50:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TwistofFate \* > \*\*feh. He’s a great big jessie, but he does have decieving curbs. \*\* Could we get an interpreter in here, please? I’d like to know what this means in American. Please speak slowly. ---
**Author:** ![SuaSponte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/67e7ee/32.png) [@SuaSponte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuaSponte)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-a-big-smelly-jerk/147583/59 "2003-01-10T21:50:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Munch \* > \*_I’d like to argue against the characterization of Coldfire as “big” in the thread title. In my mind, he clearly is a small, frail old man that wears ginormous_ chaps and rides a harley. > \*\* Your mental image is wrong. It has been established that **Coldy** has penis that is [thousands of miles long.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=989981#post989981) And my ass is still sore, two years later. Sua ---
**Author:** ![Zweistein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/54ee81/32.png) [@Zweistein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zweistein)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-a-big-smelly-jerk/147583/60 "2003-01-10T23:40:53Z")
Hollander ! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-a-big-smelly-jerk/147583.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-a-big-smelly-jerk/147583.md?page=4)