# Coldfire is an ass **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 18, 2001, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-an-ass/72944 "2001-07-18T16:29:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-an-ass/72944/41 "2001-07-18T20:35:24Z")
> [@](#): > > Was that a mistake? Oh, absolutely. [sub]rocker voice[/sub] **Metallica** was totally ripped off, dude![sub]rocker[/sub] So, **Coldy’s** butt is now a plate? Does everything taste like herring and Gouda when you eat off it? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![yabob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yabob/32/2821_2.png) [@yabob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yabob)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-an-ass/72944/42 "2001-07-18T20:54:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*heembo, how about the part where you called him a dickhead and told him to fuck off? And wait, then there’s the part where you wanted him and some other poster to sit home and “suck each others dicks” … \*\* Touching, really, these attempts to bring members of the community, ummmm, closer together. But I think I’ll decline, however Coldie feels about it. Besides, in heembo’s world, he already has Kamandi for his bitch. ---
**Author:** ![SisterCoyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@SisterCoyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SisterCoyote)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-an-ass/72944/43 "2001-07-18T21:08:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zette \* > **He’s got an ass I’d like to eat lunch off of.** FTR, this made me think of Bridget Jones’ Diary: “Men want an ass they can park a bicycle in.” :eek: Ow! ---
**Author:** ![red\_dragon60](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@red\_dragon60](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/red_dragon60)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-an-ass/72944/44 "2001-07-18T21:39:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Medea’s Child \* > \*\*mmm… ass elf. > > New prestige class? > > sorry… \*\* LMAO! ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-an-ass/72944/45 "2001-07-18T21:47:40Z")
Good lord. What a lovely screenname you got there, cldfrznwhatever. I was gonna run an IP check, but why tax the server, eh? Buh-bye. And y’all stop talking about my rear already, goddammit. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-an-ass/72944/46 "2001-07-18T21:54:59Z")
Being a jerk - Steeerike one. Creating a sock puppet - Steeerike two. May I suggest a bean ball? ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-an-ass/72944/47 "2001-07-18T21:55:10Z")
But we hear it’s such a nice one, **Coldy**. Especially after you taunted us about wearing leather motorcycle pants. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-an-ass/72944/48 "2001-07-18T22:10:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by yabob \* > Besides, in heembo’s world, he [Coldfire] already has Kamandi for his bitch. > \*\* Well, ok then, but I’ll have to ask my wife’s permission first. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-an-ass/72944/49 "2001-07-18T22:24:26Z")
Okay. Coldfire does NOt want anyone discussing his ass anymore. Isn’t he the one with the 1,000 foot long penis, though? Just wondering… ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-an-ass/72944/50 "2001-07-18T22:24:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by John Corrado \* > **not _all_ of us have CD players in our cars, you fucks!** Hang on there. You’re saying that overpriced piece of retro crap you drive came without a CD player? Yikes. FWIW, they come with a standard CD player in the Netherlands. Still no reason to buy one, honestly - I love its looks, but it corners like a pig. 😉 _(I’ll just give you all the opportunity to make some gratuitous remarks about how well I know pigs corner.)_ Karmandi, don’t worry. You’re off the hook. I want heembo as my bitch. There’s just something about vertical Fuck You’s that makes me melt. Gets me everytime, dammit. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-an-ass/72944/51 "2001-07-18T23:02:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vanilla \* > \*\*Okay. > Coldfire does NOt want anyone discussing his ass anymore. > Isn’t he the one with the 1,000 foot long penis, though? > Just wondering… \*\* No, no, no! It’s a [multi-thousand **mile** long penis](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=990299#post990299). [sub]Now THAT’S long! :eek:[/sub] So how 'bout it, **Coldy**? If we can’t talk about your ass, _can_ we talk about your penis? 😃 * * * Jeg elsker dig, Thomas ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-an-ass/72944/52 "2001-07-19T00:18:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by John Corrado \* > > a live Lynyrd Skynyrd CD (don’t recall the name, offhand), Jethro Tull’s Too Old To Rock And Roll, and Rush’s Presto. > > Grandpa? Is that you? 😃 > > :: d&r :: > > \*\* _quickly hides her Glenn Miller CDs under her Stuffed Chameleon._ heembo-correction-Coldfire HAS A NICE ass. Carry on. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-an-ass/72944/53 "2001-07-19T01:11:48Z")
> [@](#): > > So, Coldy’s butt is now a plate? I wonder if it would give you gas. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-an-ass/72944/54 "2001-07-19T01:37:18Z")
Ya know, I don’t think that anyone or anything in Europe is just _giving_ away gas. It’s just tooo expensive. So no, **Diane** , Coldfire’s ass-plate will not give you gas. ---
**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-an-ass/72944/55 "2001-07-19T01:47:23Z")
OK, I haven’t had time to read more than the first couple posts to this thread, but somehow I’m guessing that I don’t really need to leap to Coldy’s defense here. And I think I can safely add heembo to my mental list of posters that are full of shit (although very few posters stick around after reaching that level, so it’s really a pretty short list). ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-an-ass/72944/56 "2001-07-19T02:01:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by waterj2 \* > \*\*OK, I haven’t had time to read more than the first couple posts to this thread… \*\* Say, that’s too bad. Had you read further, you would have been amused and gratified (although hardly surprised) to discover that everyone gave heembo’s rant exactly as much attention as it deserved; we proceeded to discuss scintillating topics that we _could_ give a rat’s ass about. I think we could find my aunt’s dog’s tapeworm more thread-worthy than this boil’s griping. ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-an-ass/72944/57 "2001-07-19T02:13:42Z")
Me thinks somebody has hands that smell like [stinky feet](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=78568). ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-an-ass/72944/58 "2001-07-19T02:17:15Z")
Well, you might want to read the thread, **waterj2** because it gets more interesting once the OP goes overboard (about post 10). I’m torn between picking up on David Gray (not the Vietnam Vet) - a truly excellent album, BTW - and Jethro Tull. Hell, it’s got to be Tull and I agree with John on ‘Aqualung’ and ‘Thick as a Brick’. Our one-legged-playing genius is still around, if semi-detached judging from his recent writings: **"Wagner, Beethoven and Hendrix might have chanced the Vindaloo but Mozart, Debussy and John Denver were probably Korma or, perhaps, Dhansak guys on a daring night. Got the picture? See you in Curry Heaven."** Ian baby, ease up on the hand rolled !!! If you want to read more (made me hungry and confused): [http://www.j-tull.com/](http://www.j-tull.com/) - Because the site’s in Frames there’s no direct URL: Need to go Home Page \> Ian Anderson Writes \> Indian Food I _could murder_ a curry and a couple of pints… ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-an-ass/72944/59 "2001-07-19T02:42:19Z")
…Coldfire’s ass tastes like Stroopwaffels! Everyone line up and have a turn! Wheeee! (PS- the “ass I’d like to eat lunch off of” is from The Man With Two Brains. If you haven’t seen it, rent it. You’ll thank me later) Zette ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-an-ass/72944/60 "2001-07-19T02:43:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by London\_Calling \* > \*\*I _could murder_ a curry and a couple of pints… > \*\* How do you kill them ? 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-an-ass/72944.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-is-an-ass/72944.md?page=4)