# Coldfire: Man or Menace? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 29, 2000, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-man-or-menace/13210 "2000-01-29T02:21:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2000, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-man-or-menace/13210/1 "2000-01-29T02:21:00Z")
So, paranoia rules but that can disguise the _real_ threats here. May I suggest a theory? Suppose, just suppose, Dopers, that the brouhaha and bullpucky has _just been a front and diversion?!_ Think about it! We’ve been so hornswoggled and befuddled with _obvious_ wackos that a stealth board-snatch is attempted in plain sight! So…who’s flooding the board, just when voting is taking place? So…do we really _know_ that Coldfire is really Dutch, friendly and harmless? HA! If Coldfire isn’t an alien (in the C#3 sense) isn’t the coincidence just a little bit suspicious? Consider the coincidences… Martha Stewart. Global warming. Tulip blight. Windmills as alternative energy. Clog prints found on the “grassy knoll.” Celine Dion. Watery beer. Junk science… Don’t say you weren’t warned. Veb ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2000, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-man-or-menace/13210/2 "2000-01-29T02:50:00Z")
And that’s not even to mention what’s happened to all the damned Elm trees, or the deep trauma bein’ visited on the youth of this fine nation by that insidious jump ropin’ game . . . Dr. Watson “Huh?” ---
**Author:** ![aseymayo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@aseymayo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aseymayo)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2000, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-man-or-menace/13210/3 "2000-01-29T03:29:00Z")
And, if you rearrange the letters in Coldfire you get… Rice fold! If _that_isn’t a complete giveaway! Those Dutch…diabolically clever. ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2000, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-man-or-menace/13210/4 "2000-01-29T03:51:00Z")
How could I have been so blind? Of course. It all makes sense now. We are in your debt, Veb. Umm, what do we do now? * * * Sorry, the Cliche Clique is not accepting new members at this time, ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2000, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-man-or-menace/13210/5 "2000-01-29T04:48:00Z")
I dunno, Wally, I dunno. : :pats Wally consolingly on the shoulder in manner of the grade-B sci flic grizzled sheriff watching mutant tulip bulbs ingesting the Possum Boink Strip Mall:: That Coldfire, who’d a thunk it? He fooled us all, son. G’wan home, now. Take care of the family. None of us knew he was the evil mastermind behind smilies, deforestation, PMS, nuclear proliferation, the Illuminati, jock itch, Yeti extinction and linguistic drift. Be sure to get the wife, kids and dog down in the cellar. Looks like there just ain’t no hope. Veb ---
**Author:** ![Minxsmom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d07c76/32.png) [@Minxsmom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Minxsmom)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2000, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-man-or-menace/13210/6 "2000-01-29T04:53:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by TVeblen: > \*\* > That Coldfire, who’d a thunk it? He fooled us all, son. G’wan home, now. Take care of the family. None of us knew he was the evil mastermind behind smilies, deforestation, PMS, nuclear proliferation, the Illuminati, jock itch, Yeti extinction and linguistic drift. > > Veb \*\* PMS? Coldfire is responsible for PMS? I’ll get you for this, Coldfire! If it’s the last thing I do. ---
**Author:** ![shantih](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f6c823/32.png) [@shantih](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shantih)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2000, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-man-or-menace/13210/7 "2000-01-29T10:27:00Z")
_Smilies??!?_ Oh, Coldfire, you poor demented soul. Don’t you know what you’ve done? You’ve gone and gotten ChiefScott pissed off! Once he realizes the horrible truth, your tuckus is charcoal! ---
**Author:** ![Poto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ab992/32.png) [@Poto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poto)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2000, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-man-or-menace/13210/8 "2000-01-29T12:46:00Z")
For the complete story, turn to [http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/004543.html](http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/004543.html) You may even find out the truth about Veb