# Coldfire please change your name **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 2, 2002, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-please-change-your-name/139896 "2002-12-02T04:11:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Desmostylus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c57346/32.png) [@Desmostylus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desmostylus)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-please-change-your-name/139896/101 "2002-12-02T14:00:44Z")
“Desmostylus” literally means “band of pencils”. It refers to the really, really, weird teeth of an extinct mammal which had teeth like, well a bunch of pencils. The Desmostylus is thought to have had a similar appearance and life to a Hippopotamus, but it’s more closely related to sirenians and elephants than it is to the artiodactyls. And, if it makes you people happy, me too! I am not an extinct mammal with really weird teeth. ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-please-change-your-name/139896/102 "2002-12-02T14:02:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BZ00000 \* > \*\*particlewill it is possible that I can’t work a toaster. I don’t like toast and have never tried to make toast. > > As for everyone else, how can this be a troll post? I don’t like Coldfire’s screen name, I gave my reasons. So go ahead and agree or disagree on the merits of the OP. \*\* Bingo-- he’s a troll. ---
**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-please-change-your-name/139896/103 "2002-12-02T14:04:23Z")
That’s the spirit, **Desmostylus**! Ah, nobody does a hijack better than the Dopers. In that spirit, I _am_ a globetrotter. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-please-change-your-name/139896/104 "2002-12-02T14:05:22Z")
But you’re not “in orbit,” you bastard. ---
**Author:** ![pipper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c2a13f/32.png) [@pipper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pipper)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-please-change-your-name/139896/105 "2002-12-02T14:06:56Z")
Asking only stupid questions I come looking for a troll, But I get no answers. Just a come-down to the pit and be a moron. I do declare, There were times when I was so lonesome I wasted bandwidth there… ---
**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-please-change-your-name/139896/106 "2002-12-02T14:18:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dantheman \* > \*\*But you’re not “in orbit,” you bastard. \*\* Ahem. That’s Ms Bitch to you! 😃 Good one, **Pipper**! ---
**Author:** ![BZ00000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/47e85d/32.png) [@BZ00000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BZ00000)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-please-change-your-name/139896/107 "2002-12-02T14:18:29Z")
Silentgoldfish wrote : * * * No, no, I agree with her. How dare all you posters hijack such a brilliant thread into such silliness??? You should be ashamed of yourselves! * * * Thanks for trying, but I fear nobody wants to discuss the dangers of implying fire is cold. Imagine some kid burning themselves because they thought fire was cold. I thank God that I know better. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-please-change-your-name/139896/108 "2002-12-02T14:20:05Z")
Yadda yadda yadda. Give it a rest, **BZ** , the joke’s worn off. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-please-change-your-name/139896/109 "2002-12-02T14:20:07Z")
Ok I’ll fess up. I am not really a mermaid. Happy now? I have long tried to hide my true identity from you all but now seeing how everyone else has come clean, I will too. I am not a mermaid, I am in fact a squid. [A fabuous giant squid](http://seawifs.gsfc.nasa.gov/squid.html) I have long beautiful tentacles, a beautiful green eye and I’m just a great gal all around. But just because we giant squid are reclusive and rarely seen by humans we don’t have the reputations that mermaids do. We squid are never featured in Hollywood movies or portrayed as the objects of fantasy in untold romantic literature. When asked to think of a beautiful exotic creature of the sea most people think of Mermaids. Mermaids! HAH! Mermaids are the harlots of the sea. All intelligent marine life know that already. But in an effort to fit in, I have lied LIED **LIED** to all you good people for well over two and a half thousand posts. Today the lying stops. I am squid! Hear me roar…no wait that’s not it. I am squid! Hear me swim? …no I am squid and that is enough for you to know. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-please-change-your-name/139896/110 "2002-12-02T14:20:08Z")
If he’s trolled you once, he’s trolled you a thousand times. . . Ask not for whom the poster trolls, he trolls for thee . . . ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-please-change-your-name/139896/111 "2002-12-02T14:22:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BZ00000 \* > \*\*I fear nobody wants to discuss the dangers of implying fire is cold. Imagine some kid burning themselves because they thought fire was cold. I thank God that I know better. \*\* The lions wouldn’t be doing the gazelles any long-term favors by giving the feeble ones a running start. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-please-change-your-name/139896/112 "2002-12-02T14:23:16Z")
Actually, I don’t think he cares about other people’s names, just those of the moderators. Therefore I wish for **Cajun Man** to prove he’s really Cajun; for **Dr. Matrix** to prove he’s a doctor; for **Chronos** to prove he’s the God of Time and/or Father of Zeus; for **manhattan** to not only be from New York, but _be_ New York; for **Arnold** to verify his full name; and so on. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-please-change-your-name/139896/113 "2002-12-02T14:24:18Z")
Oh, and **bibliophage** should prove he eats books. ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-please-change-your-name/139896/114 "2002-12-02T14:25:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jjimm \* > \*\*Yadda yadda yadda. Give it a rest, **BZ** , the joke’s worn off. \*\* There was a _joke_? ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-please-change-your-name/139896/115 "2002-12-02T14:26:47Z")
I agree 103% with the OP. I also think **manhattan** should change his user name, as he is implying that large metropolitan areas in the north-east of the United States can form opinions and post them on message boards. This is confusing to me as a stupid person. How does this help us in our fight against ignorance and the Devil Goblins from Neptune (they must be real, I read about them in a book once)? Also, I think I should change my user name, since, although I am Steve Wright, I am not the Steve Wright most people think of when they see the name Steve Wright (except my mother). Or perhaps I should change my real name, and then change my user name to match it. Thought for the day: if I change my name, does that make me a different person? If I change my name to Superman, will I be able to make the Earth spin backwards and go back in time? If so, what happens if I go back to a time when my name is still Steve Wright and not Superman? Discuss. [sub](Govt. Health Warning: the above post may contain traces of sarcasm. Except for the bit about me being a stupid person, that’s true enough.)[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![The\_Ace\_of\_Swords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@The\_Ace\_of\_Swords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Ace_of_Swords)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-please-change-your-name/139896/116 "2002-12-02T14:28:54Z")
More to the point, would a glass of **ColdFire** boil or freeze in the vacuum of space? I mean, if you’re responsive to inquiries from anthromorphic tarot cards. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-please-change-your-name/139896/117 "2002-12-02T14:31:00Z")
I only herd ferrets on occasion, and certainly not professionally. Kids, don’t try this at home! ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-please-change-your-name/139896/118 "2002-12-02T14:39:32Z")
Tests have proven that my SDMB name is entirely accurate and 100% true. [sub]Unlike the rest of you misleading bastards…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-please-change-your-name/139896/119 "2002-12-02T14:41:16Z")
sometimes I am not so bad news. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-please-change-your-name/139896/120 "2002-12-02T14:42:21Z")
OK, OK. I confess. I **am** Tommy Shaw. And Dennis DeYoung is a goober. Always has been. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-please-change-your-name/139896.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coldfire-please-change-your-name/139896.md?page=7)