# Collard greens **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 3, 2017, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/collard-greens/803413 "2017-12-03T00:02:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2017, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/collard-greens/803413/21 "2017-12-03T20:20:34Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > Most everyone has two hands. But they’re both connected to one brain. And that brain generally remembers the pain of picking up an oven-hot metal pan with your bare hands. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2017, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/collard-greens/803413/22 "2017-12-03T21:42:04Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > The difference between a chicken-fryer and a skillet is wall height. Ask me how I know to never reach _over_ a hot pan for something. Inch long scar on my inner forearm that is still obvious 30 years later. Almost the same exact thing happened to me when I reached for the pepper shaker on a high shelf when I was deep frying. Except it’s a 9.5-inch long scar. And, it’s on my penis. Remind me to not fry in the nude again. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2017, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/collard-greens/803413/23 "2017-12-03T23:31:41Z")
Ouch. Spiral burns are the worst! What was it, 10 - 12 times around? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2017, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/collard-greens/803413/24 "2017-12-04T01:15:06Z")
Cook the collards with the ham hock. Lie to your wife. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2017, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/collard-greens/803413/25 "2017-12-31T20:34:10Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > I’ll suggest stripping the heavy stems from collard greens. Some people like them I guess, to each their own. I’ve never not taken out the stems. > [@TruCelt](#): > > Try stopping for the night when you take out the ham hock. Leave the stock in the fridge overnight, and in the morning skim off all the fat before adding the greens. Good idea. That way I get them the way I like them, and they won’t be ‘too greasy’ for her. (Though I’ve never found them to be greasy at all.) > [@Tibby or Not Tibby](#): > > And the accompanying corn bread needs to be “cracklin’ corn bread" made in an oven-hot, lard-greased iron skillet (don’t forget your oven mitt). I use a ten-inch cast-iron frying pan slathered with Crisco shortening in a 400ºF oven. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2018, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/collard-greens/803413/26 "2018-01-01T19:00:47Z")
> [@Tibby or Not Tibby](#): > > Almost the same exact thing happened to me when I reached for the pepper shaker on a high shelf when I was deep frying. Except it’s a 9.5-inch long scar. And, it’s on my penis. Worst ham hock substitute ever. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2018, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/collard-greens/803413/27 "2018-01-01T23:05:04Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > I use a ten-inch cast-iron frying pan slathered with Crisco shortening in a 400ºF oven. Well, mine’s a twelve-incher, but don’t let that intimidate you. 😃 Crisco’s ok, but if you want to up your game, slather your iron pan with lard, bacon grease, or a combination of both. I also include bits of bacon, jalapenos and a small can of sweet white corn (whole or creamed), so I can see the result of my effort in my next bowel movement. I like my cracklin’ corn bread to be nearly black on the bottom and really crackle. If I don’t crack a tooth, I’ve failed. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2018, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/collard-greens/803413/28 "2018-01-01T23:13:16Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Worst ham hock substitute ever. Methinks you should try it first, before making that assumption. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2018, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/collard-greens/803413/29 "2018-01-02T04:33:54Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > The Missus has requested I don’t cook the greens in ham hock stock, even though she’s always liked them, because she says they taste ‘greasy’. It never bothered her before, but I’ll humour her. Or maybe she loves you very much. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2018, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/collard-greens/803413/30 "2018-01-02T15:24:04Z")
Back when ‘Dinner and A Movie’ was on TBS, I followed Paul and Annabell’s recipe and made collards with a ham hock and black eyed peas. It came out so salty, it was inedible. Inedible. I had to throw it all out. So, any tips on parboiling a ham hock first, or a turkey neck, to get some of the salt out? I’ve generally just substituted some chopped ham instead of a hock. I’m afraid to try it with the ham hock again. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2018, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/collard-greens/803413/31 "2018-01-02T15:29:12Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > Back when ‘Dinner and A Movie’ was on TBS, I followed Paul and Annabell’s recipe and made collards with a ham hock and black eyed peas. It came out so salty, it was inedible. Inedible. I had to throw it all out. > > So, any tips on parboiling a ham hock first, or a turkey neck, to get some of the salt out? I’ve generally just substituted some chopped ham instead of a hock. I’m afraid to try it with the ham hock again. I’ve never had that issue, but perhaps your ham hocks are bigger or saltier than the ones I use. I just toss them straight in and usually still have to end up adjusting the salt level a little upward. But, yeah, you can soak for 24 hours in water, changing it maybe three or four times, to get a good bit of the salt out. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2018, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/collard-greens/803413/32 "2018-01-02T16:03:36Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > I’ve never had that issue… I just toss them straight in and usually still have to end up adjusting the salt level a little upward. Same here. ---
**Author:** ![Yorkshire\_Pudding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/59ef9b/32.png) [@Yorkshire\_Pudding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorkshire_Pudding)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2018, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/collard-greens/803413/33 "2018-01-08T23:13:43Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > Back when ‘Dinner and A Movie’ was on TBS, I followed Paul and Annabell’s recipe and made collards with a ham hock and black eyed peas. It came out so salty, it was inedible. Inedible. I had to throw it all out. > > So, any tips on parboiling a ham hock first, or a turkey neck, to get some of the salt out? I’ve generally just substituted some chopped ham instead of a hock. I’m afraid to try it with the ham hock again. Ham into cold water, bring to a rolling boil, drain, rinse, and then you’re ready to rock and roll. It depends massively on the cure of your particular ham, obviously, but that’s pretty standard practice round these parts. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/collard-greens/803413.md?page=1)