# Columnist Andrea Peyser claims Rihanna is "a disgrace to women" - Is she? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 17, 2013, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579 "2013-02-17T04:46:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/1 "2013-02-17T04:46:22Z")
Re this article [She’s a disgrace to women](http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/she_disgrace_t0sSDPmPpGZ8kBAcZMsg1L) The manifest assholism of Chris Brown aside, should the victim of the assault be judged for going back to the person that beat her? > [@](#): > > Brown showed up in the downtown LA court, where the state of California has expended scads of expensive court time, zillions of man hours and a forest-worth of paper to avenge the songstress for the bloody bruising Brown inflicted on her noggin in 2009. > > For there was Rihanna, trailing Brown like an idiot puppy. She was not there to glare at her man, or give him a richly deserved smack upside the head. > > RiRi instead engifted Brown with a little lovin’ before he faced a judge. > > She humiliated herself. > > She embarrassed all women. > > Then she sat in the gallery beside Brown’s mom, Joyce Hawkins, in a show of support so vile, RiRi seemed to be telling the world that women secretly deserve to be punished. > > Is this lady begging to be treated like well-dressed dog meat from a guy so wimpy and weird he can’t fathom waling on adult males ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/2 "2013-02-17T04:53:08Z")
> [@astro](#): > > The manifest assholism of Chris Brown aside, should the victim of the assault be judged for going back to the person that beat her? Yes. (Is “engifted” a word?) ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/3 "2013-02-17T05:03:46Z")
Unfortunately, lots of people go back to their abusers because they love that person. She needs to get her head set on straight for sure. But she is not a disgrace to women in general. She is still finding her way. As are most of us, except for Peyser and Judge Judy perhaps. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/4 "2013-02-17T06:10:55Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Re this article [She’s a disgrace to women](http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/she_disgrace_t0sSDPmPpGZ8kBAcZMsg1L) > > The manifest assholism of Chris Brown aside, should the victim of the assault be judged for going back to the person that beat her? YES. He beats you once and you don’t leave, I have ZERO sympathy for you once he continues to beat the shit out of you and eventually finally kills you (and he will). She’s not as worthless as Chris Brown, but she’s pretty damn close in my book. I change the radio station if either of their songs come on the air and ditto for the TV station. Can’t stand either of 'em. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/5 "2013-02-17T06:12:15Z")
I don’t know if she’s a “disgrace to women”, but she’s certainly stupid as all get out. (Yes, I’ve heard of battered woman syndrome. However, being this is a high-profile case, she’s making a complete ass out of herself.) ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/6 "2013-02-17T06:41:02Z")
They’re both getting rich. That’s all they give one rat’s ass about (including each other). ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/7 "2013-02-17T07:29:59Z")
I believe that in this case there is also a factor of she liking it rough (she has said she does, I see no reason not to believe it). That moves the problem from “my man hit me” to “we need to figure out which parts of rough are ok and which not”. Add not being people who are used to talking before doing, or thinking before doing, and yeah, there’s going to be many lines which are found once broken. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/8 "2013-02-17T07:34:12Z")
> [@](#): > > She humiliated herself. > > She embarrassed all women. I totally agree. In much the same way that Colin Kaepernick humiliated himself and embarrassed all men by throwing that Super Bowl intercept. It’s a tough job providing all the pride and dignity for a whole gender but there you go. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/9 "2013-02-17T08:57:27Z")
> [@PandaBear77](#): > > YES. He beats you once and you don’t leave, I have ZERO sympathy for you once he continues to beat the shit out of you and eventually finally kills you (and he will). > > She’s not as worthless as Chris Brown, but she’s pretty damn close in my book. > > I change the radio station if either of their songs come on the air and ditto for the TV station. Can’t stand either of 'em. I change the radio station if Rihanna comes on the air, but it’s nothing to do with her domestic arrangements. I’d probably change it for Chris too but I can’t think of any song of his that I actually know. ---
**Author:** ![Steophan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steophan/32/9595_2.png) [@Steophan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steophan)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/10 "2013-02-17T09:08:14Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > I believe that in this case there is also a factor of she liking it rough (she has said she does, I see no reason not to believe it). That moves the problem from “my man hit me” to “we need to figure out which parts of rough are ok and which not”. Add not being people who are used to talking before doing, or thinking before doing, and yeah, there’s going to be many lines which are found once broken. Er, no. There’s a difference between consensual s&m and beating someone, and it’s a difference in kind, not degree. This, by the way, is true everywhere, even in Spain. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/11 "2013-02-17T09:19:25Z")
We need more information. If one woman among millions does something it is either a disgrace or a triumph. If virtually all women do it, it is normal. I’m talking tipping point here, folks. What percentage of women would have to behave the same way in order for it not to be an outrage? 1%? 10%? … ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/12 "2013-02-17T09:55:28Z")
> [@Steophan](#): > > Er, no. There’s a difference between consensual s&m and beating someone, and it’s a difference in kind, not degree. > > This, by the way, is true everywhere, even in Spain. In my opinion the difference is consent. In yours, what other differences are there? ---
**Author:** ![Steophan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steophan/32/9595_2.png) [@Steophan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steophan)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/13 "2013-02-17T11:57:51Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > In my opinion the difference is consent. In yours, what other differences are there? Harm. This is why it’s a difference in kind. Consensual s&m, even if extremely painful, is not harmful. Hitting someone without their consent is extremely harmful, even if it doesn’t hurt. Doing something that appears harmful to someone with their consent appears to be a grey area, but it really isn’t. It either doesn’t actually harm them, for whatever reason - perhaps they are a true submissive - or it does, in which case the consent wasn’t freely given, and so the act is still violent, and wrong. Consent is an issue, but if someone accepts that their partner can beat them, as the price of them staying together, it’s still wrong, and they are still harmed. The reason Rihanna is so disdained for going back to Brown is that she, unlike many victims of physical abuse, has every opportunity to get away and stay away. She has money, power, and visibility - three things that a huge amount of battered people, especially women, do not. ---
**Author:** ![diggerwam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/919ad9/32.png) [@diggerwam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/diggerwam)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/14 "2013-02-17T13:07:34Z")
Did Hillary Clinton humiliate herself and all women by staying with Bill? In both cases how they deal with the supposedly private relationship is there business and we do not have all the facts and therefore are not qualified to judge. ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/15 "2013-02-17T13:14:03Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > I believe that in this case there is also a factor of she liking it rough (she has said she does, I see no reason not to believe it). That moves the problem from “my man hit me” to “we need to figure out which parts of rough are ok and which not”. Add not being people who are used to talking before doing, or thinking before doing, and yeah, there’s going to be many lines which are found once broken. HAHA wait what?? Do you even know anything about the case or are you just making things up? This wasn’t rough sex gone wrong, this was an argument that resulted in physical violence that had him charged with felony assault. What a fucking stupid comment. ---
**Author:** ![blindboyard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blindboyard/32/2833_2.png) [@blindboyard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blindboyard)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/16 "2013-02-17T13:43:44Z")
Chris Brown beat her, she’s talked about beating her brother with a bottle, and this Peyser person recommends she “give him a richly deserved smack upside the head”. Plenty of arseholes in this situation. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/17 "2013-02-17T14:15:21Z")
She did her image no favours, I’d say. Ultimately she’s not answerable to anyone for her personal life, and maybe they both learned from it, who’s to say. She did another injury to her dignity, but that’s for her to manage. However, to ignore that you are a role model to young women, especially young black women, is beyond stupid, in my opinion. If she’s paying a publicist, she’s wasting her money. They are either giving her supremely bad advice, or she’s ignoring it. Either way she should just save her money. All that was really required here was for her to show a little discretion, to keep this private instead of public. Is it required to do so? Of course not. But she brought this on herself, clearly. And in doing so she revealed herself to be just another attention whore willing to do anything to keep her, “in your face reputation” going, and her name in the news. She has acted without dignity or discretion, doing an enormous disservice to every parent who let their kid admire or idolize her. She has revealed herself to be lacking in discretion, and class. I liked her music and thought her brave and admired that she went public and pressed charges. Now I only see just another attention whoring celebrity with no regard for the public messages their behaviour send to young women, as long as they get more, more, more attention. I thought she was something different, but she’s just the same old thing. Wealth and fame and power intoxicated till they think they are entitled to do whatever, and not get called on their shit. Same old story. Yuck! ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/18 "2013-02-17T14:23:55Z")
> [@ladyfoxfyre](#): > > HAHA wait what?? > > Do you even know anything about the case or are you just making things up? This wasn’t rough sex gone wrong, this was an argument that resulted in physical violence that had him charged with felony assault. > > What a fucking stupid comment. The black eye was front cover news all over the world. So’s her later remarks on the subject. ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/19 "2013-02-17T14:30:48Z")
And? What does that have to do with your post about boundaries and people being unfamiliar with giving direction on their preferences about the roughness of the sex? ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/20 "2013-02-17T15:02:49Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > She has acted without dignity or discretion, doing an enormous disservice to every parent who let their kid admire or idolize her. She has revealed herself to be lacking in discretion, and class. \*Could \*she keep seeing him and just be discreet about it? I wouldn’t think so. Obviously she shouldn’t be seeing him at all, but as long as she does, I think the media is going to know about it regardless. Anyway, I don’t think she’s a disgrace to woman. She’s one young woman who doesn’t represent anyone else and who is probably very deep in denial. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579.md?page=2)