# Columnist Andrea Peyser claims Rihanna is "a disgrace to women" - Is she? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 17, 2013, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579 "2013-02-17T04:46:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/21 "2013-02-17T15:19:35Z")
[Here’s her interview published in last month’s _Rolling Stone_ about the incident.](http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/rihanna-on-chris-brown-we-know-exactly-what-we-have-now-20130130) I can’t help but think of something Taylor Swift said in an interview I saw on _60 Minutes_ (I think?) sometime last year. The interviewer asked her if she (Swift) felt any responsibility as a role model for her fans. Swift said yes, and, IIRC, went on to say that because her fans have made her what she is today, she has a responsibility to them, and she doesn’t mind upholding that responsibility at all. On a greater scale, does being in the public eye means you have a responsibility to be a role model for your fans? ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/22 "2013-02-17T15:33:44Z")
Being a high profile female publicly humiliated and beaten, which makes all the papers and is highly covered, is what obligates her to behave with wisdom and discretion and class. Modelling behaviour that your young female fans can admire. To ignore you have any responsibility, in that regard, is classless and ill advised. Of, course if all you’re after is attention, well then you should do whatever will keep your name in the paper, I guess. You don’t believe she could have kept this from the press? Seriously? Who fathered Jodie Foster’s kids? What’s her sexual orientation? He many children does Neil Young have? If they hadn’t volunteered this info, you’d never know. It’s called discretion, you don’t get a pass because you’re famous, in my opinion. She’s a walking object lesson in the truth of the saying, " You can’t by class!" Not with money. Not with fame. Not with power. And once you’ve surrendered your dignity for PR, you seem to be cruising for a lesson in how, once you’ve sold it off, it can’t be gotten back at any price, if you ask me. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/23 "2013-02-17T15:51:47Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Being a high profile female publicly humiliated and beaten, which makes all the papers and is highly covered, is what obligates her to behave with wisdom and discretion and class. Well, what if she’s just not wise? I don’t think it really makes sense to say someone is obligated to behave with wisdom. Not everyone has wisdom. If they did, it wouldn’t be wisdom. > [@](#): > > Of, course if all you’re after is attention, well then you should do whatever will keep your name in the paper, I guess. And it’s entirely possible that publicity is all she’s after, but it might also not be true. > [@](#): > > You don’t believe she could have kept this from the press? Seriously? Who fathered Jodie Foster’s kids? What’s her sexual orientation? He many children does Neil Young have? If they hadn’t volunteered this info, you’d never know. It’s called discretion, you don’t get a pass because you’re famous, in my opinion. I have no idea if she could have kept it out of the press. It was a question, not a declaration. And I don’t follow much celebrity news so I don’t know much about any of it. But I have happened to see a few recent paparazzi photos lately of Rihanna and Chris Brown together. If people are going to talk anyway, I can kind of see why she’d want to get her side of the story out (even though her side of the story just sounds naive and foolish and really doesn’t help her to sound better, but obviously she doesn’t know it sounds that way). ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/24 "2013-02-17T16:01:18Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Being a high profile female publicly humiliated and beaten, which makes all the papers and is highly covered, is what obligates her to behave with wisdom and discretion and class. Modelling behaviour that your young female fans can admire. To ignore you have any responsibility, in that regard, is classless and ill advised. > > Of, course if all you’re after is attention, well then you should do whatever will keep your name in the paper, I guess. > > You don’t believe she could have kept this from the press? Seriously? Who fathered Jodie Foster’s kids? What’s her sexual orientation? He many children does Neil Young have? If they hadn’t volunteered this info, you’d never know. It’s called discretion, you don’t get a pass because you’re famous, in my opinion. > > She’s a walking object lesson in the truth of the saying, " You can’t by class!" > Not with money. Not with fame. Not with power. And once you’ve surrendered your dignity for PR, you seem to be cruising for a lesson in how, once you’ve sold it off, it can’t be gotten back at any price, if you ask me. Rhianna was on the _Ellen_ show fairly recently. I only caught part of the interview, but the part that I caught struck me sideways in that she (Rhianna) seemed completely unapologetic about the whole incident. I couldn’t tell whether she actually meant that or whether there’s part of her that truly has a disconnect with it. I couldn’t watch the rest of it because I was thunderstruck: _Here’s a young, beautiful, talented woman who DOESN’T see/understand why people - some of which are fans – are reacting they way they are? REALLY?!?_ If she truly is unapologetic, then OK, I have to respect that. If she truly has a disconnect…wow. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/25 "2013-02-17T16:27:57Z")
I can’t help wondering how many Mom’s used the first incident as a teaching moment with their young daughters. As in, here’s a woman unafraid of being judged, standing up for herself, unwilling to let violence silence her, etc, etc. I doubt she had a thought for them though, or other teenaged girls in abusive relationships. The message they will take from this is very likely what’s being pounded into them, “It’s pointless to try to escape!” How will they think they have the strength to get free, if someone rich, successful, and powerful can’t? I stand by my “Yuck!” ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/26 "2013-02-17T16:57:13Z")
I have a hard time judging her on this single episode. Then I see her injuries, and I see them laughing together now, and I think, “What a dumb bitch.” I kinda hope he beats her publicly once more, so someone finally snaps and kills his sorry punk ass. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/27 "2013-02-17T17:06:46Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > I can’t help wondering how many Mom’s used the first incident as a teaching moment with their young daughters. As in, here’s a woman unafraid of being judged, standing up for herself, unwilling to let violence silence her, etc, etc. > > I doubt she had a thought for them though, or other teenaged girls in abusive relationships. The message they will take from this is very likely what’s being pounded into them, “It’s pointless to try to escape!” How will they think they have the strength to get free, if someone rich, successful, and powerful can’t? > > I stand by my “Yuck!” I think it will be more “Why would I want to get free? This is just part of being in love.” ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/28 "2013-02-17T17:15:47Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > I doubt she had a thought for them though, or other teenaged girls in abusive relationships. If she’s sincere about thinking he’s changed and that they have a good relationship now (which is obviously not true, but if it’s what she mistakenly believes) then it makes no sense to expect her to set a good role model on something she doesn’t even understand herself. Then SHE is the one in need of a role model. Her misunderstanding of this issue is obviously not going to keep her from pursuing her career either, that would make no sense. This is all assuming she’s NOT just being a publicity whore. If she is, and just doesn’t care that she’s setting a terrible example for young girls, then of course she’s a disgrace. > [@](#): > > The message they will take from this is very likely what’s being pounded into them, “It’s pointless to try to escape!” How will they think they have the strength to get free, if someone rich, successful, and powerful can’t? Rich, successful people have mental problems too. I don’t like when people can sympathize with the woman who doesn’t feel she can leave just because she has nowhere else to go or whatever, but call names to the woman who doesn’t feel she can leave because of emotional issues. They’re both real things. ---
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/29 "2013-02-17T17:19:02Z")
Eh, people forgive worse things. I certainly wouldn’t go back to him, but its her call. Claiming it reveals some gender-wide “disgrace” seems weirdly misogynistic. That said, if Brown is really ducking out of his community service, I hope they throw the book at him. Even if Rihanna forgives him, the State shouldn’t. ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/30 "2013-02-17T17:33:07Z")
Are we also debating whether or not Brown is a disgrace to men? Whether or not both are a disgrace to humanity? Just because a few members of a group behave disgracefully doesn’t make the entire group is responsible. ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/31 "2013-02-17T18:16:47Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > If she’s sincere about thinking he’s changed and that they have a good relationship now (which is obviously not true, but if it’s what she mistakenly believes) then it makes no sense to expect her to set a good role model on something she doesn’t even understand herself. Then SHE is the one in need of a role model. > > Her misunderstanding of this issue is obviously not going to keep her from pursuing her career either, that would make no sense. > > This is all assuming she’s NOT just being a publicity whore. If she is, and just doesn’t care that she’s setting a terrible example for young girls, then of course she’s a disgrace. +1. I’d already figuratively washed my hands of her when she started giving Brown’s girlfriend a hard time (anyone remember the photo Rihanna posted of a bag of rice cakes with glasses and earrings?), and then intentionally pursued him despite the fact that he was in a relationship AND had beaten the crap out of her. Then there was the recent incident where she wound up Drake and Brown again, then wandered off with a cat-that-ate-the-cream look on her face. But her photo of her Valentines Day present- a ginormous bundle of marijuana and the tag “Someone knows how to make me happy” just tipped her over into “I hope that is the beginning of the end of her career” territory. I know she’s young, and hasn’t had the best of influences growing up, but that’s only going to go so far in excusing her behavior. At some point she needs to pull her head out of her ass. I don’t know about a ‘disgrace to women’ but she’s certainly a useless public figure, a hypocrite, and classless. ---
**Author:** ![newcomer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e5b9ba/32.png) [@newcomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/newcomer)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/32 "2013-02-17T18:52:17Z")
> [@hrhomer](#): > > I have a hard time judging her on this single episode. Then I see her injuries, and I see them laughing together now, and I think, “What a dumb bitch.” I kinda hope he beats her publicly once more, so someone finally snaps and kills his sorry punk ass. Man… that’s heavy. The only thing I could argue against here is the idea that this person is someone’s role model. That’s utterly laughable but I can see where that idea comes from. I have yet to see those girls raised on the role model of Spice Girls 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Beastly\_Rotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/45deac/32.png) [@Beastly\_Rotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beastly_Rotter)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/33 "2013-02-17T19:07:09Z")
I teach my kids to take all their moral and behavioural cues from pop stars. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/34 "2013-02-17T20:02:44Z")
She’s just a fucked up person who happens to be famous. Her relationships after Chris Brown were basically her being used for being a famous hot young piece of ass, it is not hard to start thinking the abuser was the only one who really cared about you. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/35 "2013-02-17T20:26:17Z")
You’d think the person being censured would be the guy who keeps beating the shit out of his girlfriends, but I guess that’s not how it works now? ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/36 "2013-02-17T20:52:03Z")
> [@PandaBear77](#): > > YES. He beats you once and you don’t leave, I have ZERO sympathy for you once he continues to beat the shit out of you and eventually finally kills you (and he will). > > She’s not as worthless as Chris Brown, but she’s pretty damn close in my book. You’re saying that all battered women, after the first time, have it coming? Wow. ---
**Author:** ![Zjestika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/8edcca/32.png) [@Zjestika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zjestika)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/37 "2013-02-17T21:03:18Z")
Well, if there’s anything that helps victims of abuse it’s a good old fashioned public shaming. I know a public campaign about what an idiot I was would certainly benefit my self-esteem. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/38 "2013-02-17T21:15:03Z")
I think she has Battered Woman Syndrome and the “Fuck what everyone thinks!” attitude is just denial. I feel sorry for her. Him I’d like to see try his badassness on some 6’4" body builder. ---
**Author:** ![Steophan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steophan/32/9595_2.png) [@Steophan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steophan)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/39 "2013-02-17T21:21:48Z")
> [@Zjestika](#): > > Well, if there’s anything that helps victims of abuse it’s a good old fashioned public shaming. I know a public campaign about what an idiot I was would certainly benefit my self-esteem. You certainly have a point here, but I think the reason for the shaming is that, whether she wants it or not, Rihanna is something of a role model, and pointing out that she’s being an idiot in this case may just make someone else realise that they don’t have to put up with a guy doing this. I’m not sure that makes it right, but I don’t think it’s malicious. Oh, and for people saying that shouldn’t Brown be the one to be blamed - of course he should. He’s had, and continues to get, massive amounts of negative publicity for this. I imagine the main reason it’s not been mentioned here is that no one thinks otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579/40 "2013-02-17T21:42:56Z")
> [@Peremensoe](#): > > > [@PandaBear77](#): > > > > YES. He beats you once and you don’t leave, I have ZERO sympathy for you once he continues to beat the shit out of you and eventually finally kills you (and he will). > > You’re saying that all battered women, after the first time, have it coming? Wow. She’s also saying that they will all get killed eventually, which makes perfect sense. And she has no sympathy for even that. > [@Steophan](#): > > You certainly have a point here, but I think the reason for the shaming is that, whether she wants it or not, Rihanna is something of a role model, and pointing out that she’s being an idiot in this case may just make someone else realise that they don’t have to put up with a guy doing this. They’re also saying someone else IS an idiot if they do put up with it, which is an extremely helpful attitude. Nothing works better than tearing someone down (who is already being torn down by the abuser) to help them realize they have worth and deserve to be treated well. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/columnist-andrea-peyser-claims-rihanna-is-a-disgrace-to-women-is-she/650579.md?page=3)