# Come again? (Things you've misheard)
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-again-things-youve-misheard/377666
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [October 24, 2006, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-again-things-youve-misheard/377666 "2006-10-24T02:50:55Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2006, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-again-things-youve-misheard/377666/21 "2006-10-24T19:19:23Z")
TV in next room: “Police suspect foul play in the death of a store clerk.”
Me: “Police suspect [Bob & Ray](http://bobandray.com/) in the death of a store clerk?!”
---
### Author:  [@Kevbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kevbo)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2006, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-again-things-youve-misheard/377666/22 "2006-10-24T19:22:35Z")
Kevbabe wanted me to stop at the craftstore when we were out because they were having a sale on urine.
“Urine?”
“Yarn”
---
### Author:  [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2006, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-again-things-youve-misheard/377666/23 "2006-10-24T20:44:33Z")
[QUOTE=js\_africanus]
My sister thought The Who had a song called “Blue Water,” and I thought the Thompson Twins had a song about a long white dog.
[/QUOTE]
I thought Jimmy Buffett blew out a flip-flop and stepped on a PopTart. :smack:
---
### Author:  [@Guy\_Incognito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guy_Incognito)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2006, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-again-things-youve-misheard/377666/24 "2006-10-24T21:04:04Z")
I had just bought some fresh donuts from the donut shop and my wife and I had just sat down to eat them while reading the Sunday paper. I noticed that my glazed donut had gotten a blue sprinkle on it from another donut in the display window. I said something like “Huh. A blue sprinkle.” and continued eating my donut. My wife looked across the table at me and said “Did you just say “douche wrinkle”?”.
I just about aspirated that bite of donut in my mouth. Now we call each other “douche wrinkle” as a funny put down. Good times…
---
### Author:  [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2006, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-again-things-youve-misheard/377666/25 "2006-10-24T21:14:04Z")
Mmmmm…[bacon-filled cake](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=315108).
---
### Author:  [@yellowval](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowval)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2006, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-again-things-youve-misheard/377666/26 "2006-10-24T21:18:52Z")
One evening my husband needed to run somewhere and asked if he could take my car. I replied, “Go ahead.” I heard him leave, then come back a couple of seconds later. He hollered, “Did you just call me ‘goat head’?”
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### Author:  [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2006, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-again-things-youve-misheard/377666/27 "2006-10-24T21:20:29Z")
Quite a few years ago, I was lying in a hospital bed in the intensive care unit. The only thing that kept my mind alive was listening to the television. I thought I heard a TV news announcer say “Next, the future of ileostomy.” Since I had undergone ileostomy surgery, I was very interested. It turned out to be a tennis-related story, “The future of Ilie Nastase.”
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### Author:  [@Sonia\_Montdore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sonia_Montdore)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2006, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-again-things-youve-misheard/377666/28 "2006-10-24T21:42:46Z")
My colleague Bob and I were chatting. He asked, “Who’s going to be running the XYZ project?”
I said, “It’s me.”
He said, “That’s not good grammar. You should say ‘It’s I.’”
I said, “Bob, don’t be a prig.” He thought I called him “a prick” and didn’t talk to me for a week.
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### Author:  [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2006, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-again-things-youve-misheard/377666/29 "2006-10-24T21:46:39Z")
I was in another room the first couple times I heard an ad for a mix-it-yourself diet soft drink. Various happy women are dancing around holding bottles of flavored water to the new lyrics of an old disco song. “Shake, shake, shake. Shake your bottle.”
From the other room, I was surprised to hear somebody on network TV singing, “Shake your butthole.” :smack:
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### Author:  [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2006, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-again-things-youve-misheard/377666/30 "2006-10-24T21:52:52Z")
[QUOTE=pimaspinner]
I thought Jimmy Buffett blew out a flip-flop and stepped on a PopTart. :smack:
[/QUOTE]
Some people claim that there’s a woman to blame,
But I know, it’s my own Grandpa.
> [@WhyNot](#):
>
> My goddaughter is named Teaghan (pronounced “Tee-gan”) and has always been a sweet, but very reserved little girl. Imagine her mother’s surprise to hear disco music playing and peek in the room to see her little sweetie dancing around like a madwoman, arms wide, spinning around and around and singing along at the top of her lungs:
>
> See that girl
> watch that scene!
> Teaghan the dancing queen!
Oh my gosh that’s cute.
---
### Author:  [@mack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mack)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2006, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-again-things-youve-misheard/377666/31 "2006-10-24T21:54:50Z")
One day I found myself in Aberaeron, Wales, knocking on the door of a bed and breakfast. Knowing that some Welsh people still spoke Welsh, I braced myself for an unfamiliar greeting.
The door opened and a boy said something incomprehensible to me. I assumed that was because he spoke in Welsh.
“Can you please speak English?” I asked.
“I AM speaking English”.
---
### Author:  [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2006, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-again-things-youve-misheard/377666/32 "2006-10-24T22:03:54Z")
I was at a Barnes & Noble looking for a kids book in the kids section when a toddler happened to come down the aisle I was in.
He would walk a few feet, pick up a book off the shelf, and announce
“Nah but dat don!”
put the book back on the shelf, walk a few more feet, pick up another book, and announce
“Nah but dat don!”
He did this about 5 times working his way down my aisle. I just stood their trying to figure out what the little kid was saying.
Then his mother came around the corner and found him wandering down the aisle with a book in his hand and abruptly told him
“Now put that down!” 😃
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### Author:  [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2006, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-again-things-youve-misheard/377666/33 "2006-10-24T22:06:00Z")
[QUOTE=Hal Briston]
Mmmmm…[bacon-filled cake](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=315108).
[/QUOTE]
Jon Stewart featured [these](http://mitchieville.blogspot.com/2006/10/jimmy-dean-chocolate-chip-pancakes.html) on The Daily Show. Can bacon-filled cake be far behind?
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### Author:  [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2006, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-again-things-youve-misheard/377666/34 "2006-10-24T22:08:39Z")
[QUOTE=mack]
One day I found myself in Aberaeron, Wales, knocking on the door of a bed and breakfast. Knowing that some Welsh people still spoke Welsh, I braced myself for an unfamiliar greeting.
The door opened and a boy said something incomprehensible to me. I assumed that was because he spoke in Welsh.
“Can you please speak English?” I asked.
“I AM speaking English”.
[/QUOTE]
That reminds me of the James Herriot anecdote where he says that he would encounter very thick accents and the way he got around it for recordkeeping was to ask folks to spell their names. And something to the effect of don’t be dismayed when you get a funny look as they spell S-M-I-T-H.
sorry for the multipost goodness
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### Author:  [@Freudian\_Push\_Up\_Bra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Push_Up_Bra)
#### Post date: [October 25, 2006, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-again-things-youve-misheard/377666/35 "2006-10-25T08:29:20Z")
Mum and I mishear each other all the time but my naive godfather takes the bacon-filled cheesecake:
He always thought that the song “Nights in White Satin” was some sort of weird KKK song about Knights in white satin.
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### Author:  [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)
#### Post date: [October 25, 2006, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-again-things-youve-misheard/377666/36 "2006-10-25T08:46:08Z")
[QUOTE=mack]
One day I found myself in Aberaeron, Wales, knocking on the door of a bed and breakfast. Knowing that some Welsh people still spoke Welsh, I braced myself for an unfamiliar greeting.
The door opened and a boy said something incomprehensible to me. I assumed that was because he spoke in Welsh.
“Can you please speak English?” I asked.
“I AM speaking English”.
[/QUOTE]
About a year ago, my boss sent me to our factory in Bahgham because the production manager there couldn’t make heads nor tails of the new software. After finding out that he meant Birmimgham (hey, I’d seen it in writing, never actually heard the word) I hopped on a couple planes, got there, found out the poor production manager hadn’t used a computer in his life until two months before and set out to explain all that “background stuff” that nobody had explained to the poor guy (like, “how to put a shortcut on your desktop” and “how to open several files in excel at the same time”).
While I was there, sconced in a corner table waiting for lunch to arrive, one of the workers came by and said something in the kind of accent you can cut with a knife.
… _noise of brainwheels_
…
…
OK, no. My brain couldn’t decipher a single word. So I said “I’m sorry…” and he said, still with a very thick accent, something I was able to decipher as “oh, you’re American! Waitaminute”. Guy closes his eyes for a second, takes a deep breath, opens his eyes and repeats his initial question in a lversion of English I understood perfectly. I never got to find out whether he had actoral training or simply was good imitating accents, wish I was that good understanding them!
(And no, I’m not American, but apparently I fake it well)
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### Author:  [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)
#### Post date: [October 25, 2006, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-again-things-youve-misheard/377666/37 "2006-10-25T12:38:45Z")
[QUOTE=Freudian Push Up Bra]
He always thought that the song “Nights in White Satin” was some sort of weird KKK song about Knights in white satin.
[/QUOTE]
Shouldn’t that be “Knights and White Satan”?
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### Author:  [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)
#### Post date: [October 25, 2006, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-again-things-youve-misheard/377666/38 "2006-10-25T13:23:44Z")
[QUOTE=Freudian Push Up Bra]
He always thought that the song “Nights in White Satin” was some sort of weird KKK song about Knights in white satin.
[/QUOTE]
My mom thought that the song, “Dancing in the Sheets” was about the KKK. She never felt that listening to the lyrics was necessary to know the contents of a song.
A coworker was having a busy day when he said, “And I have to get this all done before my appointment with Kathy Morgan.” But I thought he’d said “Captain Morgan.” Considering his love of rum, I didn’t think twice about it.
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### Author:  [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)
#### Post date: [October 25, 2006, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-again-things-youve-misheard/377666/39 "2006-10-25T14:20:59Z")
No doubt he’s meeting the Captain at [McGinty’s](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_163.html), there to purchase a few lottery tickets as well.
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### Author:  [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)
#### Post date: [October 25, 2006, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-again-things-youve-misheard/377666/40 "2006-10-25T18:42:23Z")
We were screening our calls when the phone rang. My husband looked at the caller ID and said “It’s Lula Belle”. I said “Who the hell is Lula Belle?” After he was finished cracking up, he said, “I said it was _unavailable_.”
Now whenever the caller ID read “unavailable”, we always say it’s Lula Belle calling.
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