# Come clean: Who are you really? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 27, 2005, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141 "2005-02-27T12:15:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2005, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/61 "2005-02-27T23:54:57Z")
> [@yosemite](#): > > My secret is out. I’m not actually [this](http://www.yosemitepark.com/). I’m [this](http://www.yellowstone.net/). > > I am so ashamed of my deception. Please forgive me. ADMIT IT! CONFESS! You’re _really_…[THIS!!](http://www.frankenmuthjellystone.com/) 😃😃😃😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2005, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/62 "2005-02-27T23:57:18Z")
[Just for the record…here’s me.](http://mlpeters.com/zeus%20large.jpg) Or so the Ladies tell me. 😉😃 ---
**Author:** ![Iceland\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4bbf92/32.png) [@Iceland\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iceland_Blue)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/63 "2005-02-28T00:03:28Z")
What the hell?My words are becoming invisible!!! It should read > [@WilhelmGefallen](#): > > Everyone knows that attractive females are repulsed by computers (hence Alias, Catsix, Anaamika etc[…] are also male). And Monica too! 😃 > [@Iceland\_Blue](#): > > I pretend to be a 12 yr old boy on message boards so I can hit on all the pubescent girls without getting in trouble I’m sure this is the only place I could post this without the mods hauling me away 😃 Damn hamsters.Somebody feed them proper food.They’re starting to eat bits of my posts… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/64 "2005-02-28T00:03:36Z")
I have told countless lies and omitted much about who I am, but to atone I will set the record [straight](http://www.wfu.edu/Student-organizations/collegerepublicans/photos/2002.10.29.cheney/2002.10.29.cheney.4.jpg). I will make copious use of my photographs from my past and I hope that if any Dopers are among the images I’m sharing, you will understand this is in the cause of a greater good. I have very few memories of my, save that my mother was always to the forefront but my father was distant [.biological parents]picture. When they abandoned me to devote full time to their sock puppet ministry I was sent to live with a foster family, and though I am always smiling in [childhood photos](http://epguides.com/DiffrentStrokes/cast.jpg) on the [inside](http://www.c-science.com/txt/images/1998/981006scx1.jpg) I was a complete [mental case](http://adorocinema.cidadeinternet.com.br/personalidades/atores/anne-heche/anne-heche02.jpg) due to my [inner child’s](http://www.visi.com/~reuteler/vinci/fetus.jpg) chronic need for [nurturing](http://www.crueldominatrix.com/splash_pix/we1070.jpg). All through [my college days](http://www.columbia.edu/itc/history/brinkley/3651/photos/sixties/Woodstock.jpg) (I’m seventh from left, 8th row) I was searching, and by the time I was in my twenties I was a [miserable corporate drone](http://www.thecobrasnose.com/images3/OSMiltonsm.jpg) by day but at night [changed clothes](http://www.djmcc.com/cher.jpg) and sought shelter from the [inner demons](http://www.backtrax.com/forget/images/coreys.gif) who haunted him in the arms of [any](http://www.clamack.hpg.ig.com.br/ATORES/MattDamon/MattDamon036.jpg) [man](http://img.stopklatka.pl/filmowcy/00200/00289/0.jpg) [who](http://www.valleystream13.com/Howell/50/kickoff/images/fonzie.jpg)[would](http://ghostdepot.com/rg/images/utah/brigham%20young%20utah%20pc.jpg)[hold](http://www.lesko.com/49_cd.jpg) [me](http://www.10-7.com/humor/mugshots/manuel_noriega.jpg) [tight](http://students.clarku.edu/~fchowdhu/urkel.jpg) (my apologies to any of my exes whose pics appear here, but this is in the service of helping others). Finally, with the help of a wonderfully insightful [therapist](http://www.tulane.edu/~tuhulla/19970905/photos/JERRY5.JPG) who agreed to see me each weekday at noon for five years, I realized my problem: all of my life I had been a [straight black woman](http://www.uhura.com/grfx/cmdr_uhura_c.jpg) trapped inside the body of a portly [white homosexual](http://www.state.nj.us/governor/images/mcgreevey_portrait_med.jpg) man. I had a series of 230 surgeries. The first ones didn’t [work](http://www.kino.de/pix/MBBILDER/MITWIRK/Z0215501.JPG) [so](http://www.playbill.com/images/photos/Hairspray_PK_Ednamakeover.jpg) [well](http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/845000/images/_845400_woman150.jpg): there were [hormone problems](http://www.movieprop.com/tvandmovie/PlanetoftheApes/zira.jpg), [getting accustomed to cosmetics](http://www.geocities.com/musicfornimrods/jan.jpg) , and I learned my lesson about using the SAM’S CLUB GENDER REASSIGNMENT PROGRAM to save money due to the [gynecological problems](http://www.labyrinth.net.au/~tdp/images/easterngrey.jpg) that ensued, but at last I was a beautiful and straight [Nubian princess](http://www.divasanddjs.com/ShirleyQPinkWig.jpg). Imagine my surprise when I learned that it’s hard to be a straight woman when you’re living in the age of Bush. And gradually things changed, I got laid off, the hormones stopped working, the melanin receded and soon I was [back to me](http://ffmedia.ign.com/filmforce/image/wellesheadshot3.jpg) . But that was alright, for I’d found [true love](http://www.directcon.net/pharmer/ann_coulter/ann_0621.jpg) who accepts me [as I am](http://www.trackvela.it/orca.jpg). So you too can find happiness as long as you [hang in there](http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/USACWsurrattP.jpg) and remember to keep your eyes on the [light at the end of the tunnel](http://i.timeinc.net/time/reports/diana/images/home/home_pix.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/65 "2005-02-28T00:10:24Z")
**Sampiro** , that is friggin’ brilliant. Or to use a more apt phrase “roflmao.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Alias](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e4f/32.png) [@Alias](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alias)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/66 "2005-02-28T00:24:49Z")
> [@Alias](#): > > Sigh. It seems that Harborwolf has outed me. [Here’s](http://www.cultureandrecreation.gov.au/articles/barryhumphries/images/DameEdna4.jpg) the real me. [This](http://www.smart.co.uk/dreams/bmvive3.jpg) is my wonderful husband. We have [two beautiful children](http://www.smart.co.uk/dreams/bmvive3.jpg). I don’t know why I didn’t come clean before. I’m so ashamed. BAH!!! With apologies to my lovely sons, [HERE THEY ARE](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v331/stellamavis/MEPICS/twins.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![look\_ninjas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@look\_ninjas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/look_ninjas)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/67 "2005-02-28T00:58:30Z")
Okay, so I’m not **Harborwolf** ’s sister. Nor am I, as stated, a 25 year old woman from Northern Michigan. Technically speaking, I’m not even really alive. I died several years ago in an accident at the workplace; fortunately for me, I’ve been replaced with a [hologram](http://www.pr.mq.edu.au/events/images/issue9_reddwarf.jpg). My deepest, most sincere apologies for the deception. I understand that some of you may feel uncomfortable calling me **look!ninjas**. If you wish, you may use the nickname that my school chums gave me - Ace. ---
**Author:** ![Nic2004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4491bb/32.png) [@Nic2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nic2004)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/68 "2005-02-28T01:06:40Z")
Sorry, this is off topic but could someone explain to me how you are including those great images? > [@](#): > > Where does he get those wonderful toys ? ---
**Author:** ![Iceland\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4bbf92/32.png) [@Iceland\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iceland_Blue)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/69 "2005-02-28T01:07:43Z")
Not only am I the lover and sexual partner of the previous doper,I have to confess. I am your brother. I knew I had to tell you sooner or later but I was scared. Such things are not tolerated in Michigan. We shall have to move to Mississippi 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Merhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Merhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merhouse)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/70 "2005-02-28T01:13:15Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > [The real me.](http://www.torinet.com/stuff/war/george_w_bush_hi_resolution.jpg) What **Anaamika** said 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Merhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Merhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merhouse)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/71 "2005-02-28T01:14:48Z")
Oh, I forgot. I’m really Jabba The Hut. ---
**Author:** ![CalvinHobbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@CalvinHobbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalvinHobbes)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/72 "2005-02-28T01:28:12Z")
I guess it’s time for my confession as well, This is really not [me](http://http://sergeicartoons.blogs.sapo.pt/arquivo/calvin1.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/73 "2005-02-28T01:31:55Z")
> [@CalvinHobbes](#): > > I guess it’s time for my confession as well, This is really not [me](http://http://sergeicartoons.blogs.sapo.pt/arquivo/calvin1.jpg). Dude, that isn’t anybody. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![CalvinHobbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@CalvinHobbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalvinHobbes)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/74 "2005-02-28T01:34:32Z")
Dang, I really thought I had it. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/75 "2005-02-28T01:35:03Z")
> [@CalvinHobbes](#): > > Dang, I really thought I had it. [Try this](http://sergeicartoons.blogs.sapo.pt/arquivo/calvin1.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![lunarnoodle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@lunarnoodle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lunarnoodle)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/76 "2005-02-28T01:46:02Z")
We haven’t been introduced. [Ima pirate.](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v127/lunarnoodle/ruprekt.jpg) [So’s my ferret.](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v127/lunarnoodle/piratetonka.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![START](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@START](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/START)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/77 "2005-02-28T01:49:11Z")
When I first came on the board I made myself out to be older than I really was only by a year or so until I saw that it wasn’t neccesscary. ---
**Author:** ![Archergal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Archergal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Archergal)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/78 "2005-02-28T01:52:54Z")
Sorry y’all. I’m not actually a middle-aged wannabe archer. I’m really a [foxy](http://www.mindspring.com/~archer5129/Foxmaiden.jpg) young gal. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/79 "2005-02-28T02:28:07Z")
**Come clean: Who are you really?** I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/80 "2005-02-28T03:19:59Z")
> [@look!ninjas](#): > > If you wish, you may use the nickname that my school chums gave me - Ace. Is that you, Bonehead? 😃 (Mr. Gazpacho?) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141.md?page=5)