# Come clean: Who are you really? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 27, 2005, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141 "2005-02-27T12:15:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/81 "2005-02-28T03:44:24Z")
> [@yosemite](#): > > My secret is out. I’m not actually [this](http://www.yosemitepark.com/). I’m [this](http://www.yellowstone.net/). > > I am so ashamed of my deception. Please forgive me. I’m quite disappointed. I thought you were going to show us the Grand Tetons. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/82 "2005-02-28T04:41:46Z")
I hired someone to pose as me at the Dopefests I’ve supposedly been to. [Here’s the real me!](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v220/Guinastasia/Scary/michael_jackson.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/83 "2005-02-28T05:04:12Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > I hired someone to pose as me at the Dopefests I’ve supposedly been to. > > [Here’s the real me!](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v220/Guinastasia/Scary/michael_jackson.jpg) Ah, my eyes! They burn! As for me, I’m actually a mild-mannered librarian type, and I never stand up for myself or others. I cruise through life completely oblivious to anything around me, and I mind my own business no matter what and do as I’m told without question. I only pretended to be a trublmakr to gain a bad-ass reputation. You guys can stop being scared of me now. ---
**Author:** ![WilhelmGefallen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9f8e36/32.png) [@WilhelmGefallen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WilhelmGefallen)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/84 "2005-02-28T05:40:58Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Oh man, you got me. It’s also proven by the fact that I love RPG stuff & D&D & medieval stuff and can probably name a tank or a weapon or break down military tactics faster than several guys I know. > > Yup, I’m really [Milton Waddams](http://creepingdeath4.tripod.com/randomshit/id11.html). In that case you really must be a guy called Milton (or maybe only one Wednesday a month) are you into stamp collecting too? > [@Iceland\_Blue](#): > > ## It should read > > ## Quote: Originally Posted by WilhelmGefallen Everyone knows that attractive females are repulsed by computers (hence Alias, Catsix, Anaamika etc[…] are also male). > > And Monica too! Now that is a really mean thing to say about Monica, that attractive females are repulsed by her… I mean this isnt the pit 😛 > [@Iceland\_Blue](#): > > Originally Posted by Iceland\_Blue > I pretend to be a 12 yr old boy on message boards so I can hit on all the pubescent girls without getting in trouble > > I’m sure this is the only place I could post this without the mods hauling me away Yes Karl. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![kimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f0a364/32.png) [@kimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kimera)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/85 "2005-02-28T06:12:52Z")
> [@Iceland\_Blue](#): > > Hey-I know you! I pretend to be a 12 yr old boy on message boards so I can hit on all the pubescent girls without getting in trouble.I asked you to do a striptease on camera 😃 And remember how I asked for you to do it first? I’m still waiting for the video!!! > [@WilhelmGefallen](#): > > I was just waiting for more proof to make my sock puppet and out you… What gave it away?? My insatiable love for porn? My hatred of girly movies? The fact that I started a thread to see if I could legally have sex with **Chimpy**? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/86 "2005-02-28T06:59:56Z")
**I’m Spartacus!** what? ---
**Author:** ![WilhelmGefallen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9f8e36/32.png) [@WilhelmGefallen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WilhelmGefallen)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/87 "2005-02-28T07:13:37Z")
> [@kimera](#): > > What gave it away?? My insatiable love for porn? My hatred of girly movies? The fact that I started a thread to see if I could legally have sex with **Chimpy**? 😃 Wait I thought Guinastasia was Michael Jackson, oh wait you didnt say A CHIMP :smack: But yes all those things and more lead me to the conclusion that you are none other than _drum roll_ [Geraldo Rivera\*](http://www.foxnews.com/images/101019/55_21_350_rivera_geraldo.jpg)\*\* Can anyone out there honestly say they’ve seen Kimera and Geraldo in the same room :dubious: 😃 \*Warning photo may scare young children and the elderly, if you have heart problems I recommend NOT viewing that photo. \*\*Photo likeness courtesy of Fox News Channel, where we report and YOU decide. For all your fair and balanced news there is no other channel like CNN … wait I meant FNC . ---
**Author:** ![kimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f0a364/32.png) [@kimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kimera)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/88 "2005-02-28T07:33:31Z")
> [@WilhelmGefallen](#): > > But yes all those things and more lead me to the conclusion that you are none other than _drum roll_ [Geraldo Rivera\*](http://www.foxnews.com/images/101019/55_21_350_rivera_geraldo.jpg)\*\* Yes. I am so ashamed. I knew that once the dopers realized I was affiliated with _that_ station they would never speak to me again. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![elfbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b782af/32.png) [@elfbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfbabe)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/89 "2005-02-28T07:58:43Z")
After [these](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=5593228&postcount=5) [posts](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=5596209&postcount=61) I guess it had to come out, so… I’m really only three-quarters elven. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![dearissues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/919ad9/32.png) [@dearissues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dearissues)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/90 "2005-02-28T08:02:21Z")
[This](http://www.southalabama.edu/univlib/sauer/magazines.jpg) is not me. [This](http://www.magazinecity.com/prodimg/8687-8.jpg) is me. I’m not really a 21 year old angsty bartender. I’m a 45 year old man who hunts deer (dear) and lives in BFE and walks 40 miles to the nearest library to post on this board because it makes me look smart and the women folk like that. ---
**Author:** ![Nightime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Nightime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightime)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/91 "2005-02-28T08:02:40Z")
Everything I have _ever_ said here has been a lie. Except that. And that. And that. And that… ---
**Author:** ![dearissues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/919ad9/32.png) [@dearissues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dearissues)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/92 "2005-02-28T08:04:17Z")
And apparently I adore run-on sentences. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/93 "2005-02-28T08:22:54Z")
I’m an infinite number of monkeys. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/94 "2005-02-28T09:31:48Z")
I have not actually eaten everything, neither do I intend to. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 9:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/95 "2005-02-28T09:33:54Z")
My Name is Elmer Fudd. I am a millionaire. I own a mansion and a yacht. ---
**Author:** ![Iceland\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4bbf92/32.png) [@Iceland\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iceland_Blue)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/96 "2005-02-28T10:18:13Z")
[QUOTE=kimera] And remember how I asked for you to do it first? I’m still waiting for the video!!! Yeh but no but…well you said you’d let me have pictures of you in your underwear if I found you a cute lad in the chatrooms who’d let you have his mobile 😃 \*hang on,shouldn’t that be in the reply-to-this-topic-as-if-you’re-10 thread 😉 ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/97 "2005-02-28T10:38:39Z")
I am a jelly donut. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/98 "2005-02-28T10:41:42Z")
I suppose I should admit that I really am a dryad. I have to get back to my tree quickly. If someone chops it down, it’s curtains for little old me. ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/99 "2005-02-28T11:58:47Z")
Well, curtains are better than nothing. Unless they don’t match the decor. That would be much, much worse than nothing ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141/100 "2005-02-28T12:54:33Z")
**HAH!** I always knew y’all were a bunch of liars. I am the only truthful one in the bunch! I really am a bear. I really do live in the swamps. I spend all day filching beer coolers and cookies from unsuspecting hunters and campers. I am and you can’t prove any different. So There! 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-clean-who-are-you-really/292141.md?page=6)