# Come on you homosexual demon! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 30, 2009, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-on-you-homosexual-demon/501486 "2009-06-30T15:57:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2009, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-on-you-homosexual-demon/501486/101 "2009-07-07T02:01:15Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > You’re thinking up Supernatural incest slash as we type, aren’t you? No, my pet demon is doing that. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2009, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-on-you-homosexual-demon/501486/102 "2009-07-07T02:09:40Z")
[Apparently, I only THOUGHT I was joking…](http://samdean.archive.nu/categories.php?catid=1) ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2009, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-on-you-homosexual-demon/501486/103 "2009-07-07T02:48:40Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > [Apparently, I only THOUGHT I was joking…](http://samdean.archive.nu/categories.php?catid=1) It’s better than JAN and Dean slash, you gotta admit that. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2009, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-on-you-homosexual-demon/501486/104 "2009-07-07T02:50:18Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > It’s better than JAN and Dean slash, you gotta admit that. Well, I have to admit that I hadn’t thought about just WHAT they were doing in the car when they went off Deadman’s Curve, but now it just won’t go away… ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2009, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-on-you-homosexual-demon/501486/105 "2009-07-07T03:38:06Z")
Well, since there was already Kirk/Spock, Aubrey/Maturin, and Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan slash, I figured it applied to everybody. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2009, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-on-you-homosexual-demon/501486/106 "2009-07-07T04:52:36Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > Can’t they do a saving roll? Nope. Exorcizing demons works like Turn Undead (or which it is a feat, given by the Good cleric domain) : the only defense against it is having more hit dice than the cleric, no saving throw at all. Since Jesus is pretty Epic, and he’s got Charisma up the wazoo, by my calculations he can probably turn about 35 Hit Dice worth of demons (of an individual maximum level of 22, 24 maybe) per turn. He could do more than that with some decent gear, but he’s got his whole ascetic thing going, so I guess that’s out. He’d probably flog his Charisma gear to Mary-Magdalene anyway. The thing is, he only destroys them outright if they’re half his level or less, otherwise they just flee or are stunned for 1 minute tops. What’s the ECL of a homosexual possession ? ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2009, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-on-you-homosexual-demon/501486/107 "2009-07-07T05:00:15Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > Well, since there was already Kirk/Spock, Aubrey/Maturin, and Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan slash, I figured it applied to everybody. Does slash fall under rule 34? > [@Kobal2](#): > > Nope. Exorcizing demons works like Turn Undead (or which it is a feat, given by the Good cleric domain) : the only defense against it is having more hit dice than the cleric, no saving throw at all. > > Since Jesus is pretty Epic, and he’s got Charisma up the wazoo, by my calculations he can probably turn about 35 Hit Dice worth of demons (of an individual maximum level of 22, 24 maybe) per turn. He could do more than that with some decent gear, but he’s got his whole ascetic thing going, so I guess that’s out. He’d probably flog his Charisma gear to Mary-Magdalene anyway. > The thing is, he only destroys them outright if they’re half his level or less, otherwise they just flee or are stunned for 1 minute tops. What’s the ECL of a homosexual possession ? Wouldn’t Jesus, at bare minimum, be a Demigod? Now I know there’s no hard and fast requirements for levels vs godhood, but I’d say assuming that big-G is really Ao (and that’s probably a reasonable assumption in this particular er… campaign setting) a half-Celestial born of him and a pre-chosen mother would likely be very powerful anyway, and given the modern state of worship has ascended to a pretty high divine rank regardless. He could probably exorcise a NI amount with a NI amount of hit-dice. What we really need to do is compare the scores of his Clerics/Priests, perhaps it would be easiest to start with the Pope and work our way down the chain, then start working on protestants by comparison (starting with Historical Figures like Martin Luther perhaps). ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2009, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-on-you-homosexual-demon/501486/108 "2009-07-07T05:18:22Z")
> [@Jragon](#): > > Wouldn’t Jesus, at bare minimum, be a Demigod? Now I know there’s no hard and fast requirements for levels vs godhood, but I’d say assuming that big-G is really Ao (and that’s probably a reasonable assumption in this particular er… campaign setting) a half-Celestial born of him and a pre-chosen mother would likely be very powerful anyway, and given the modern state of worship has ascended to a pretty high divine rank regardless. He could probably exorcise a NI amount with a NI amount of hit-dice. What we really need to do is compare the scores of his Clerics/Priests, perhaps it would be easiest to start with the Pope and work our way down the chain, then start working on protestants by comparison (starting with Historical Figures like Martin Luther perhaps). Maybe, but I’m already out of my depth with the regular Epic rules, don’t ask me about Deities & Demigods 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2009, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-on-you-homosexual-demon/501486/109 "2009-07-07T06:50:49Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > In short any god who is not the Lord God, which includes Satan, demons and even man. Woo! I’ve always wanted to be a god! ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2009, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-on-you-homosexual-demon/501486/110 "2009-07-07T12:42:09Z")
> [@Jragon](#): > > Does slash fall under rule 34? > > Wouldn’t Jesus, at bare minimum, be a Demigod? Now I know there’s no hard and fast requirements for levels vs godhood, but I’d say assuming that big-G is really Ao (and that’s probably a reasonable assumption in this particular er… campaign setting) a half-Celestial born of him and a pre-chosen mother would likely be very powerful anyway, and given the modern state of worship has ascended to a pretty high divine rank regardless. He could probably exorcise a NI amount with a NI amount of hit-dice. What we really need to do is compare the scores of his Clerics/Priests, perhaps it would be easiest to start with the Pope and work our way down the chain, then start working on protestants by comparison (starting with Historical Figures like Martin Luther perhaps). I don’t know how the Pope would measure up, but perhaps a nephilim would give some way to relate a son of God to man. [QUOTE=Gen 6] 4 The Nephilim were on the earth in those days—and also afterward—when the sons of God went to the daughters of men and had children by them. They were the heroes of old, men of renown. [/QUOTE] That does not even consider the Holy Spirit of God that Jesus has. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2009, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-on-you-homosexual-demon/501486/111 "2009-07-07T13:51:05Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > I don’t know how the Pope would measure up, but perhaps a nephilim would give some way to relate a son of God to man. Oh god, the magic system of Nephilim is even more obscure and convoluted than garden variety D&D. I can voodoo my way through Rolemaster, but Nephilim is where I don’t trod. One afternoon to merely create a char is just… no. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2009, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-on-you-homosexual-demon/501486/112 "2009-07-07T14:58:33Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > One afternoon to merely create a char is just… no. I’ve always had a soft spot for convoluted character creation mechanics. I always liked Twilight 2000’s character creation. Did you ever play that? The characters are soldiers in post World War III Europe. Anyway, to create a character, after rolling your stats, you pick a career which gives you specific skills. Then you roll to see if war’s broken out. If it hasn’t, you pick another career, giving you more skills, and keep repeating until you’ve rolled that war has broken out. Then you figure out how old your character is, based on the number of career turns you’ve had, and adjust your stats accordingly. ---
**Author:** ![Furious\_Marmot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dfb087/32.png) [@Furious\_Marmot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Furious_Marmot)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2009, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-on-you-homosexual-demon/501486/113 "2009-07-07T17:37:47Z")
> [@Drain\_Bead](#): > > I don’t see how coming on the homosexual demon is going to help _anything_. In Soviet Russia, homosexual demon come on YOU! ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2009, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-on-you-homosexual-demon/501486/114 "2009-07-07T20:37:09Z")
> [@Anne\_Neville](#): > > [Wiki has a list of demons](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_theological_demons), but doesn’t identify which ones are gay. Cool, I am totaly using this to name WOW characters from now on. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2009, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-on-you-homosexual-demon/501486/115 "2009-07-07T20:41:19Z")
> [@Death\_of\_Rats](#): > > Cool, I am totaly using this to name WOW characters from now on. 😃 It doesn’t have Flibbertigibbet on it, though. I guess Shakespeare made that one up so it’s not a real demon name, but I’ve always liked it, ever since it was an occasional childhood nickname of mine. ETA: It does contain the name Furfur, though. I’m going to start calling the cats that when they are bad. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2009, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-on-you-homosexual-demon/501486/116 "2009-07-07T21:25:15Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > Nowhere in scriptures does a demon being cast out cause the victim to ‘writhe on the floor’, this is not how it works, it is simply Jesus Himself telling the demon to leave, Jesus being God means that the trump card has been played and the demon must leave. > > This is what happens when a believer cast out demons in the name of Jesus, if that believer has the faith that it is not he but Jesus living inside him that is casting out the demon, then it is Jesus Himself. **kanicbird** , are you listening? I am telling you to shut the hell up in the name of Jesus and he’s living inside me so you have to do it. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2009, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-on-you-homosexual-demon/501486/117 "2009-07-07T22:31:33Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > **kanicbird** , are you listening? I am telling you to shut the hell up in the name of Jesus and he’s living inside me so you have to do it. Bless your heart in the name of Jesus and praise the Lord. ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2009, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-on-you-homosexual-demon/501486/118 "2009-07-07T22:32:31Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > Bless your heart in the name of Jesus and praise the Lord. Clearly this whole casting out in the name of Jesus doesn’t work in the slightest. (Though I suppose it becomes questionable wether it works on non-demons - though by his own beliefs **kanicbird** is a false god.) ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2009, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-on-you-homosexual-demon/501486/119 "2009-07-07T23:16:40Z")
> [@begbert2](#): > > Clearly this whole casting out in the name of Jesus doesn’t work in the slightest. (Though I suppose it becomes questionable wether it works on non-demons - though by his own beliefs **kanicbird** is a false god.) I don’t know about that, but he’s certainly a moron. ---
**Author:** ![Furious\_Marmot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dfb087/32.png) [@Furious\_Marmot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Furious_Marmot)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2009, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-on-you-homosexual-demon/501486/120 "2009-07-08T13:00:52Z")
> [@begbert2](#): > > Clearly this whole casting out in the name of Jesus doesn’t work in the slightest. (Though I suppose it becomes questionable wether it works on non-demons - though by his own beliefs **kanicbird** is a false god.) Not a false god, just a lower-case god, for example [QUOTE=kanicbird] … any god who is not the Lord God, which includes Satan, demons and even man. [/QUOTE] Remember, don’t put any of those before the upper-case God, or you might turn gay. Who knew capitalization could be so important to the condition of your immortal soul? If you have any doubt as to which type of being you are about to pray or make a blood sacrifice to, just ask “Are you the Lord God that gives kanicbird revelations directly, or some other supernatural being, or Fred from across the street?” They have to tell you, it’s The Rules. Except your neighbor Fred, he’s quite the joker. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-on-you-homosexual-demon/501486.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-on-you-homosexual-demon/501486.md?page=7)