# Come one, come all, to join my Posse!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 23, 2000, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-one-come-all-to-join-my-posse/46999 "2000-12-23T17:28:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-one-come-all-to-join-my-posse/46999/1 "2000-12-23T17:28:34Z")
Yes, it is true! Posses **do** exist, and yes, they have evil intent for us all! You’ve all heard of such scary and mysterious Clans such as: “ **The Opals** ” - once mighty, they made the Board quake in fear. Now they wait in exile, planning, taking their little notes, watching us and waiting, oh yes, waiting… “ **Oldscratch’s Gang of Five** ” - a new street-gang type of Posse that is rumbling loud and fast. Time will tell if this ragtag gang of new upstarts has what it takes to continue to kick ass and take down names. The quiet but still present “ **NC/VA Eastern Octopus** ”, a low-key Posse that wields deadly power in the back rooms and smoky salons of the SDMB. The flamboyant “ **Bay Area Badasses** ”, a group that appears at first to be harmless and fun, but in truth has an underlying evil and diabolical plan for us all… And, of course, the “ **Secret and Dread Cabal of Moderators** ” - the most terrible ones of all, limited in power only by their small membership. However, it is alleged their power base grows through sockpuppets. **Unclebeer** himself once confided to me on a ferry in Istanbul, when his guard was down, that he had more than 500 sockpuppets alone! And this mighty army was poised and ready, waiting to bring on “The Year of the Skulls” on the SDMB, whatever that means… There are those who claim that the “**Unholy Lesbian Vampire Army of the Night (ULVAN)**” is a Posse, but that is **lies, all lies**. They are a harmless social club of fine ladies who discuss World Trade issues over tea in Una’s garden. The do not terrorize the Board and chat nightly, spreading the will of the Dark Queen until finally, victory will be ours!!! Not at all. But, since ULVAN is somewhat limited in scope, I call for the formation of a new Posse - led by **me**! Just think of the benefits you can get! 1. _Feel elite at being in a secret society!_ 2. _Join the gang mentality! Never fear flaming or being flamed alone again!_ 3. _Know the bliss of worshiping without question an unstable and mostly insane leader ( **me!** )!_ 4. _Most of all, you get a special tattoo, designed by Sub-Adjunct **Hamadryad**! (or a special piercing, for the ladies 😉 )_ As leader of this Posse, henceforth called “ **The Unas** ”, you may address me as **Maximum Procounsel Una**. ULVAN members may still address me as the **Dark Queen** , if they so choose. Come join me, my sisters and brothers, as we of this new Posse walk hand-in-hand on the shining path to paradise! [sub]Post is intended for humorous purposes only. No offence is intended. Woo![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-one-come-all-to-join-my-posse/46999/2 "2000-12-23T17:33:26Z")
you’d fit right in. And of course, I want to join as the token spider. ----:p/ ----///\\ ---
**Author:** ![CWN](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bc79bd/32.png) [@CWN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CWN)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-one-come-all-to-join-my-posse/46999/3 "2000-12-23T17:34:30Z")
Hmm never joined a SDMB gang before but---- IM IN (always up for a little mob mentality) ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-one-come-all-to-join-my-posse/46999/4 "2000-12-23T17:34:44Z")
Do I _really_ have to call you **Maximum Procounsel Una**? Una is just so much easier to type… ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-one-come-all-to-join-my-posse/46999/5 "2000-12-23T17:36:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Silver Fire \* > \*\*Do I _really_ have to call you **Maximum Procounsel Una**? Una is just so much easier to type… \*\* Sigh. OK, just call me “Una” with a silent “Maximum Procounsel” on the front of it. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-one-come-all-to-join-my-posse/46999/6 "2000-12-23T17:38:17Z")
So, **Silver** , are you ready for your piercing then? ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-one-come-all-to-join-my-posse/46999/7 "2000-12-23T17:40:20Z")
I’m in, but only if I’m 2nd in Command. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![red\_dragon60](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@red\_dragon60](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/red_dragon60)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-one-come-all-to-join-my-posse/46999/8 "2000-12-23T17:47:19Z")
Can I join? I’ll even get the Cecilian mafia to help you. Remember them? You were a member. I’ll find that thread sometime. I want to be our combat master. We still need someone to co-ordinate dance moves, and get the “Crazy! Cool!” thing down. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-one-come-all-to-join-my-posse/46999/9 "2000-12-23T17:51:55Z")
OK. Pepper’s my Lieutenant. We need some **Board Spies** (both Boards), **Chat Moles** , **3F Rabble Rousers** , **Enforcers** , some **Wild Boys** , **Predatory Lesbians and Lesbian Sex Therapists** , **Weapons Specialists** , **Uberhackers** , **Legal Eagles** , **Ravers** , **Backup Vocalists** , **Animal Trainers** , **Una’s Solid Gold Dancers** , some **Flame-Baiters** , some **Sockpuppets** , and some **choice trolls**. We also need to subvert a **Moderator** or two (my vote is **Chronos** - he’s already working on a master plan to depose **Coldfire** …). And get **Double Agents** in all of the other Posses. Then we will have a good start. ---
**Author:** ![red\_dragon60](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@red\_dragon60](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/red_dragon60)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-one-come-all-to-join-my-posse/46999/10 "2000-12-23T17:55:20Z")
I will fall under weapons specialist then. And lesbian hanky-panky watcher. Hey! Stop hitting me! ---
**Author:** ![red\_dragon60](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@red\_dragon60](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/red_dragon60)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-one-come-all-to-join-my-posse/46999/11 "2000-12-23T17:56:52Z")
Oh, also I will be a Raver. Nothing like glowsticks! ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-one-come-all-to-join-my-posse/46999/12 "2000-12-23T17:58:31Z")
We also need some good **Chefs** as well, in addition to **Sports Commentators.** And I would like an **Official Masseuse** too. A nice woman with strong hands… And then we need a plan. A good plan. Hmmmm…to do that, we need to elect an **Inner Circle** - they can be called the “ **Council of St. Bartholin** ”. Because the weight of leadership may grow heavy on Una’s head, and she must delegate responsibility… ---
**Author:** ![dewt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9dc877/32.png) [@dewt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dewt)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-one-come-all-to-join-my-posse/46999/13 "2000-12-23T18:05:14Z")
Howsebout **Maxpro Una**? Short, sweet, got a ring to it. Also, what about dental benefits? And life insurance. I sure as heck m’not going to join a gang that doesn’t have dental and life. Well, maybe… ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-one-come-all-to-join-my-posse/46999/14 "2000-12-23T18:09:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Anthracite \* > \*\* > > We also need to subvert a **Moderator** or two (my vote is **Chronos** - he’s already working on a master plan to depose **Coldfire** …). > > Then we will have a good start. \*\* ::whistles, scuffs toe in dust, looks innocent:: Just between you and me, Coldy is in solid; he’s got the Dutch dope and hooker cartels behind him. They can provide significant savings in the staff development budget line. No, you need someone…obscure. Someone _nerdy_, even. Someone so bland they can blend in invisibly, though maybe not the golden dancing girls. Veb ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-one-come-all-to-join-my-posse/46999/15 "2000-12-23T18:14:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Anthracite \* > \*\*So, **Silver** , are you ready for your piercing then? \*\* Yep, I sure am! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Nocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9fc348/32.png) [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-one-come-all-to-join-my-posse/46999/16 "2000-12-23T18:16:19Z")
Oh, oh, oh…can I PLEASE be the prima donna of the Solid Gold Dancing Girls? I can dance, I promise! ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-one-come-all-to-join-my-posse/46999/17 "2000-12-23T18:24:25Z")
I wanna join. I can be a Chat Mole. [badgermanaccent]Ve haff vays of mekink you tawk[/badgermanaccent] Robin ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-one-come-all-to-join-my-posse/46999/18 "2000-12-23T18:25:02Z")
Damn! I have a posse conflict! While part of **oldscratch’s Gang of Five** , I will soon be joining the \*\*Bay Area Badasses[/b!]! Do I have to turn in my card for one to join the other? ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-one-come-all-to-join-my-posse/46999/19 "2000-12-23T18:27:47Z")
_sigh_ maybe I’ll start my own possee of Those Who Cannot Sucessfully Close their VB Tags. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-one-come-all-to-join-my-posse/46999/20 "2000-12-23T18:34:36Z")
Hey! What’s going on in here? [sub]I’m in the NC/VA posse, I think . . . I can help you out there. I also hang out a bit in chat.[/sub] [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-one-come-all-to-join-my-posse/46999.md?page=2)