# Come to the Christmas Party, or No Bonus...Huh? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 11, 2005, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-to-the-christmas-party-or-no-bonus-huh/330643 "2005-11-11T22:13:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![zagloba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/977dab/32.png) [@zagloba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zagloba)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-to-the-christmas-party-or-no-bonus-huh/330643/21 "2005-11-12T07:15:42Z")
> [@VCO3](#): > > I just want to say that this thread makes me understand why 9/11 happened. > > The hunchfaces = America. > Everyone else = the world. > > Right? If only this made a lick of sense … ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-to-the-christmas-party-or-no-bonus-huh/330643/22 "2005-11-12T07:19:36Z")
> [@zagloba](#): > > If only this made a lick of sense … No, no, (s)he found me out. It really was a secret allegory. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-to-the-christmas-party-or-no-bonus-huh/330643/23 "2005-11-12T07:21:35Z")
Everyone go dressed as the Cratchetts and say you thought it was fancy dress. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-to-the-christmas-party-or-no-bonus-huh/330643/24 "2005-11-12T08:01:47Z")
> [@PeterWiggen](#): > > Well your next move seems obvious to me: > > (1) Go to the Christmas Party. > (2) Get Bonus. > (3) Shit in the Coat Closet. > > Merry Christmas and to all a Good Night! They better hide the shit well, because the bonus might come _after_ party. Just imagine: “Whomever is first to tell me who shat in my fucking closet gets all of the Christmas bonuses, and the rest of you will be fired. On your mark…get set…” ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Who](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Doctor\_Who](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Who)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-to-the-christmas-party-or-no-bonus-huh/330643/25 "2005-11-12T08:06:32Z")
> [@Loopydude](#): > > Just imagine: “Whomever is first to tell me who shat in my fucking closet gets all of the Christmas bonuses, and the rest of you will be fired. On your mark…get set…” Ah but then you simply confess (and quickly). Then everyone else will get fired, and you get all the Christmas bonuses. PLUS you got to shit in the closet. And hopefully you recently ate corn. BTW lest anyone think that I am devilishly creative - I must credit the comedian Dane Cook for the original “shit in the coat closet” idea. If you haven’t had a chance to listen to him, and you found that remotely funny, give his comedy albums a shot. I will say that I did spin his general premise seamlessly into this thread. - Peter Wiggen ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-to-the-christmas-party-or-no-bonus-huh/330643/26 "2005-11-12T09:00:10Z")
I got a new job, nominally assembling and documenting electronics. The CEO decided he needed someone to inventory a bunch of fucking metal trim off one of his classic cars, so that he could send it off to get rechromed; I got the task along with another guy. More recently, it was decided that we were shorthanded on the receiving dock, so now I’ve been hauling around 160 lb. TVs and doing preliminary tests, then repacking them and hauling them around some more. I didn’t get a bachelor’s degree so I could bust my back in a goddamn warehouse. One month, and they already have me looking for another job. Fuckers. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-to-the-christmas-party-or-no-bonus-huh/330643/27 "2005-11-12T14:13:38Z")
> [@Hung Mung](#): > > It’s definitely the latter. He’s clueless. Smart guy, but clueless. But not hopeless, since he’s decent to the staff. Is there anyone who has a good enough relationship with him to clue him in? Or would that be a waste of time given how the department is run? Does your girlfriend have a good enough rapport with him to let him know, maybe in the course of saying goodbye as she moves to the other department, and telling him what a pleasure it’s been to work with him? ---
**Author:** ![RobuSensei](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/919ad9/32.png) [@RobuSensei](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobuSensei)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-to-the-christmas-party-or-no-bonus-huh/330643/28 "2005-11-12T14:54:27Z")
Is this specifically a _Christmas_ party? Are there some members of the staff who aren’t religious, or of a religious faith that doesn’t celebrate Christmas? Could you get her in trouble that way? ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-to-the-christmas-party-or-no-bonus-huh/330643/29 "2005-11-12T15:08:18Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > But not hopeless, since he’s decent to the staff. Is there anyone who has a good enough relationship with him to clue him in? Or would that be a waste of time given how the department is run? Does your girlfriend have a good enough rapport with him to let him know, maybe in the course of saying goodbye as she moves to the other department, and telling him what a pleasure it’s been to work with him? Alas, no, she doesn’t have that good of a relationship with Dr. Donkeynose. It would be an awkward situation to bring it up. It would take an exceptional effort to unite the staff over a relatively minor issue. (If it’s such a minor issue, why do I raise a stink, you may ask? Because it’s the principle of the thing. It ain’t right.) And **RuboSensei** , it’s a Baptist Hospital. And I’ve met the staff; a Christmas party won’t offend anybody. Good thought, though. ---
**Author:** ![A.R.Cane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee7513/32.png) [@A.R.Cane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A.R.Cane)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-to-the-christmas-party-or-no-bonus-huh/330643/30 "2005-11-12T15:10:52Z")
If this is the worst inequity your GF ever experiences in her professional life she will be very fortunate. Pick your battles carefully and don’t burn bridges unless you’re sure you won’t need an avenue for retreat. On the arrogance scale, of 1 to 10, this is a weak 3. If you think life is fair you’re very naive, or a damn fool. ---
**Author:** ![John\_F](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/43a26b/32.png) [@John\_F](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_F)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-to-the-christmas-party-or-no-bonus-huh/330643/31 "2005-11-12T15:18:59Z")
> [@RobuSensei](#): > > Is this specifically a _Christmas_ party? Are there some members of the staff who aren’t religious, or of a religious faith that doesn’t celebrate Christmas? Could you get her in trouble that way? The way I understand it a bonus is not regulated like the money you have contracted to work for. Unless the boss said come to my Christmas party or you will be reprimanded I don’t know if there is any “trouble” to get into. This boss is just being an A-hole (plenty more where that one came from). If it was me I’d dress up, go the the party, and trash talk the boss on Monday like everybody else is going to do. You’ll want to join in on the story telling anyway and one bonus richer with a story of your own is the most fun you can make of it I think. Eat the food, drink the booze, grab the cash, and hope somebody makes a fool of themselves so some boring thursday afternoon everybody can have a laugh about it to make the day go by. ---
**Author:** ![davenportavenger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@davenportavenger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davenportavenger)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-to-the-christmas-party-or-no-bonus-huh/330643/32 "2005-11-12T15:42:01Z")
This HAS to be illegal. Doesn’t it? Isn’t it illegal to hold wages for ransom? (And I think bonuses count as wages; they take taxes out of them, don’t they?) Even if nobody is offended by the Christmas theme, it would still hold up in an antidiscrimination case in court. Go for it. If it were me, I’d show up in my rattiest sweatshirt and sneakers. Do you have to buy something from the registry? If not, hello fake dog doo. And if they tried to keep my bonus from me just because of my behavior, nevermind that I followed their instructions to the letter, I’d call shenanigans on them so fast their heads would spin. ---
**Author:** ![John\_F](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/43a26b/32.png) [@John\_F](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_F)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-to-the-christmas-party-or-no-bonus-huh/330643/33 "2005-11-12T15:51:32Z")
> [@davenportavenger](#): > > This HAS to be illegal. Doesn’t it? Isn’t it illegal to hold wages for ransom? (And I think bonuses count as wages; they take taxes out of them, don’t they?) They take out taxes because it’s income but I don’t think they are “wages” or qualify for the same rules/regs that wages do. I think they are more like gifts or rewards and are under the discretion of the employer to award or not. I’ll look for some documentation but perhaps somebody more familiar with labor laws will be able to clarify it. ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-to-the-christmas-party-or-no-bonus-huh/330643/34 "2005-11-12T16:00:39Z")
> [@A.R. Cane](#): > > If this is the worst inequity your GF ever experiences in her professional life she will > be very fortunate. Pick your battles carefully and don’t burn bridges unless you’re > sure you won’t need an avenue for retreat. On the arrogance scale, of 1 to 10, this is > a weak 3. If you think life is fair you’re very naive, or a damn fool. No sir, I don’t harbor illusions about life being fair. But I’m not going to give a mulligan to someone just because life isn’t always fair. No, I don’t have to accept it. ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-to-the-christmas-party-or-no-bonus-huh/330643/35 "2005-11-12T16:04:39Z")
> [@Hung Mung](#): > > No sir, I don’t harbor illusions about life being fair. But I’m not going to give a mulligan to someone just because life isn’t always fair. No, I don’t have to accept it. Let me rephrase: I do, in fact, have to _accept_ it. I just don’t have to _like_ it. ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-to-the-christmas-party-or-no-bonus-huh/330643/36 "2005-11-12T16:10:01Z")
> [@John F](#): > > I think they are more like gifts or rewards and are under the discretion of the employer to award or not. My mom works for a company that does not give out Years of Service awards unless you attend the very boring Chirstmas parties. I know they are very boring because I always go with her just so she and her table mates have some comic relief during the parties. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-to-the-christmas-party-or-no-bonus-huh/330643/37 "2005-11-12T16:25:44Z")
I suppose it’s too much to hope that Hunchface and Donkeynose are planning to suprise all the attendees with ridiculously enormous bonuses or expensive presents. Does your GF need the bonus badly enough to go the the party? Is it a really large sum of money? Because otherwise, I’d opt for a nice, polite little note to the effect that you regret being unable to attend. If I were feeling snarky, and didn’t mind the possible repurcussions, I’d add that the bonus wouldn’t cover the expenses involved in purchasing special clothes and providing tribute. ---
**Author:** ![A.R.Cane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee7513/32.png) [@A.R.Cane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A.R.Cane)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-to-the-christmas-party-or-no-bonus-huh/330643/38 "2005-11-12T16:50:00Z")
> [@Hung Mung](#): > > Let me rephrase: I do, in fact, have to _accept_ it. I just don’t have to _like_ it. That’s exactly the point I was making. The way to change things is to attain a position where you can call the shots and set the standard. You’re probably never going to get to that level w/o making some compromises along the way. C’est la vie. ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-to-the-christmas-party-or-no-bonus-huh/330643/39 "2005-11-12T18:50:06Z")
> [@A.R. Cane](#): > > C’est la vie. True. Happily, since Lady Mung is transferring (but will remain “on call,” so to speak, if they need an extra hand who knows the system) she is not going to get a bonus and therefore doesn’t have to go to Dr. Hunchface’s little shindig. Happier for me, this means that I don’t have to go either. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-to-the-christmas-party-or-no-bonus-huh/330643/40 "2005-11-12T20:24:36Z")
Jeez, kinda sucks about the bonus, though. What a completely bizarre system. You don’t go to a party? Denied. You transfer at what appears to be the end of the fiscal period? Denied! What the hell is this bonus for, anyway? Why on Earth is it being awarded in the first place? Is it really just a party bribe? I’ve never heard of anything remotely like this weirdness. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-to-the-christmas-party-or-no-bonus-huh/330643.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-to-the-christmas-party-or-no-bonus-huh/330643.md?page=3)