# Come up with your very own old aphorism **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [February 4, 2017, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-up-with-your-very-own-old-aphorism/779003 "2017-02-04T20:06:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2017, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-up-with-your-very-own-old-aphorism/779003/41 "2017-02-07T23:17:38Z")
The only thing close to original for me is, “Never trust an adult man that doesn’t drink beer.”. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2017, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-up-with-your-very-own-old-aphorism/779003/42 "2017-02-08T02:09:18Z")
> [@Max\_Torque](#): > > I usually see it like this: “The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.” True. But the third worm gets the first mouse. It’s only fair. ---
**Author:** ![Apocalypso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Apocalypso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apocalypso)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2017, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-up-with-your-very-own-old-aphorism/779003/43 "2017-02-08T16:56:20Z")
“Pass the Spinach” means to ignore anything odd or unusual around you. I invented it at a party about 15 years ago. There was a lot of drinking, and music blasting so loud that it was very difficult to impossible to carry on a conversation. One of the apartment holders said something to me which I didn’t hear, then went into his freezer and pulled out a 2lb bag of frozen spinach and handed it to me. I wasn’t sure if he was giving it to me, or wanted me to cook it, or what. So I passed it to the person next to me, who was engaged in a drunk conversation with the person next to her. She barely glanced at the spinach, then passed it to her drunk conversationalist, who passed it to the person next to him…, And the spinach went around the room, with most people not looking at it but just passing it on to anyone who would take it. Not one person asked why they were handed a bag of frozen spinach. Eventually the spinach got back to the apartment owner, and he just put it back in the freezer without saying anything. I never saw this guy again, and never could figure out why the hell he handed me a bag of frozen spinach during a drunken party. But since then I have used the phrase “pass the spinach” in reference to this perplexing party moment. I am hoping one day it will spread all over the country (the phrase, not the actual spinach). Tell your kids to use it! ---
**Author:** ![by-tor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/by-tor/32/266_2.png) [@by-tor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/by-tor)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2017, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-up-with-your-very-own-old-aphorism/779003/44 "2017-02-08T20:49:25Z")
Arguing with morons is moronic. The only thing we have to fear is… pain itself, a whole lot of it. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2017, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-up-with-your-very-own-old-aphorism/779003/45 "2017-02-08T22:03:13Z")
Stolen from The Tick: Good things come in small packages. But big things don’t. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2017, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-up-with-your-very-own-old-aphorism/779003/46 "2017-02-09T11:08:48Z")
If carrot blankets were like coasters, you would want to put drinks on them. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2017, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-up-with-your-very-own-old-aphorism/779003/47 "2017-02-09T12:56:55Z")
If at first you don’t succeed, you’ll never get to second base. ---
**Author:** ![Deser2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dfb087/32.png) [@Deser2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Deser2)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2017, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-up-with-your-very-own-old-aphorism/779003/48 "2017-02-10T18:59:27Z")
> [@blondebear](#): > > When life hands you lemons, pucker up. This is actually the title of an album from my favorite group, Atmosphere, but: When life give you lemons, you paint that shit gold. Another one I’ve always liked (not sure where I heard it but I’m pretty sure I didn’t come up with it): Life’s a bitch and days are child support. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2017, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-up-with-your-very-own-old-aphorism/779003/49 "2017-02-10T19:37:10Z")
Choose both, and pity those who didn’t use XOR. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2017, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-up-with-your-very-own-old-aphorism/779003/50 "2017-02-10T21:44:21Z")
> [@glee](#): > > See a pin and pick it up and all day you’ll have … a pin. > [@Dead\_Cat](#): > > I first heard this on I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue c. 20 years ago. Can’t remember who it was - probably Graeme Garden. Even then it may not have been original. It is a good one though, I hope pointing this out doesn’t leave you feeling too… deflated :). It could have been Tim Brooke-Taylor, Willie Rushton or Barry Cryer… I should have acknowledged I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue. :o ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2017, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-up-with-your-very-own-old-aphorism/779003/51 "2017-02-11T14:25:58Z")
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, but can lead to bird shit on your hand. ---
**Author:** ![Kropotkin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kropotkin/32/18045_2.png) [@Kropotkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kropotkin)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2017, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-up-with-your-very-own-old-aphorism/779003/52 "2017-02-12T00:43:43Z")
The smart man buys his partner flowers after he errs as atonement; the wise man buys flowers before he errs, as insurance. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2017, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-up-with-your-very-own-old-aphorism/779003/53 "2017-02-12T00:57:25Z")
Baker’s Maxim If I can’t take it with me, it’s not worth having in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2017, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-up-with-your-very-own-old-aphorism/779003/54 "2017-02-12T01:23:36Z")
Success is 1% perspiration, and 99% getting to the patent office before Tesla. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/come-up-with-your-very-own-old-aphorism/779003.md?page=2)