# "comedians", some tips on the black "be" thing **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 5, 2005, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comedians-some-tips-on-the-black-be-thing/288460 "2005-02-05T00:49:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![pizzabrat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e9c0ed/32.png) [@pizzabrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pizzabrat)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comedians-some-tips-on-the-black-be-thing/288460/1 "2005-02-05T00:49:35Z")
If you’re doing a jokey “lookit me, I’m speaking ebonics” bit, keep in mind that neglecting to conjugate the word “be” would be entirely inappropriate. You can’t just substitute “am”, “is”, or “are” for “be” and think that you have your comedic “hood” persona down pat. For instance, many of you might have your black guy say “I be angry, now”. However, that line would be better suited for a pirate than a modern day black person. Here’s how the weird “be” thing that you hear black people do sometimes really works. “Be” basically connotes a regular occurance. For example, if someone says, “I be online”, he doesn’t mean that he’s on the internet right now, he means that he’s a regular web surfer. Or if he says “She be lying”, he’s not necessarily referring to something she just said, but to her ongoing character in general. That’s probably a hard thing to understand because standard English doesn’t have a tense like that ( [according to this board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=196599)) - you’d just have to use simple present to convey the same thing. That can be confusing though. “She lies” can either mean “She is lying” or “She lies, regularly”, but “She be lying” can only mean the latter. You may be wondering what the point of getting all this right is when you’re just trying to make ridicule these people in the first place. Well, jokes that rely on the audience being ignorant make you look stupid when the audience _isn’t_ ignorant. If I were trying to do a funny “British guy” impression by saying “I want to lick a few fags up in’nit”, I’d look like an obnoxious idiot, since it’s obvious I have no idea what those Britishisms mean. I’m really trying to help you out. Imagine how annoying a person would be if they did that dumb British bit all the time and you’ll realize my pain. It’s so irritating - I’ve never, ever seen a wiseguy get the “be” thing right. Even respected, “hip” comedians get this wrong (per Jon Stewart in _America: The Book_, pg 24: “Fuck with a mutherfuckah’s tea and the shit **be** on!” Uh, no). Anyway, if you’re going to do a cliched “ebonics” bit, please, please try to understand the source material before you lampoon it. ---
**Author:** ![Backwater\_Under\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ba8739/32.png) [@Backwater\_Under\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Backwater_Under_Duck)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comedians-some-tips-on-the-black-be-thing/288460/2 "2005-02-05T02:40:12Z")
How does a speaker of ebonics refer to a transvestite? Susan B Anthony. _Ba-Dump!!_ Sorry. I haven’t been here for a while. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comedians-some-tips-on-the-black-be-thing/288460/3 "2005-02-05T03:34:24Z")
pizzabrat, you are such a masochist, dude. Oh, wait. I meant you _be_ such a masochist. ---
**Author:** ![Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9dc877/32.png) [@Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightwatch_Trailer)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comedians-some-tips-on-the-black-be-thing/288460/4 "2005-02-05T04:48:45Z")
I be wasting time reading this. ---
**Author:** ![High\_Cheese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8797f3/32.png) [@High\_Cheese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/High_Cheese)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comedians-some-tips-on-the-black-be-thing/288460/5 "2005-02-05T05:11:51Z")
> [@pizzabrat](#): > > Or if he says “She be lying”, he’s not necessarily referring to something she just said, but to her ongoing character in general. Technically, the correct usage is: “She a lie.” ---
**Author:** ![Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/soul_brother_number_two/32/3515_2.png) [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comedians-some-tips-on-the-black-be-thing/288460/6 "2005-02-05T05:13:38Z")
I be not noticin’ who be the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Loopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loopus/32/15343_2.png) [@Loopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopus)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comedians-some-tips-on-the-black-be-thing/288460/7 "2005-02-05T05:52:58Z")
**pizzabrat** is right. (Notice I didn’t say he _be_ right.) ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comedians-some-tips-on-the-black-be-thing/288460/8 "2005-02-05T07:45:24Z")
> [@Nightwatch Trailer](#): > > I be wasting time reading this. No, you wasting time reading this specifically. You be wasting time reading the Dope. Uh…I think. I learned about 12 dialects in college, and ebonics was the one that stumped me. I be shamed. ---
**Author:** ![pizzabrat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e9c0ed/32.png) [@pizzabrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pizzabrat)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comedians-some-tips-on-the-black-be-thing/288460/9 "2005-02-05T12:29:36Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > No, you wasting time reading this specifically. > You be wasting time reading the Dope. _Exactly!_ ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comedians-some-tips-on-the-black-be-thing/288460/10 "2005-02-05T13:34:42Z")
What if you’re a honeymaker? Where bee you then? ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comedians-some-tips-on-the-black-be-thing/288460/11 "2005-02-05T13:39:16Z")
> [@SkipMagic](#): > > What if you’re a honeymaker? Where bee you then? I dunno, but I guess you wouldn’t be in a w.a.s.p’s nest. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comedians-some-tips-on-the-black-be-thing/288460/12 "2005-02-05T16:03:20Z")
Word. ---
**Author:** ![litost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@litost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/litost)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comedians-some-tips-on-the-black-be-thing/288460/13 "2005-02-05T16:55:19Z")
I’ll keep this on the low down. ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comedians-some-tips-on-the-black-be-thing/288460/14 "2005-02-05T17:58:18Z")
Yeah, but the usage, “Why you be hatin?”, would directly mean right now. You know, if you were hatin’ right then and there, and what not. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comedians-some-tips-on-the-black-be-thing/288460/15 "2005-02-05T18:08:32Z")
You know, there’s probably a quasi-sub-dialect of ebonics spoken by people whose only experience is via various non-personal media. Or, um. There be a lot of white folk speaking modified ebonics. ---
**Author:** ![Chairman\_Pow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/838e76/32.png) [@Chairman\_Pow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chairman_Pow)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comedians-some-tips-on-the-black-be-thing/288460/16 "2005-02-05T18:46:14Z")
> [@High Cheese](#): > > Technically, the correct usage is: “She a lie.” If my experiences around the neighborhood are any indication, the correct ebonics would be, “she lyin’.” ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comedians-some-tips-on-the-black-be-thing/288460/17 "2005-02-05T18:47:56Z")
> [@UrbanChic](#): > > pizzabrat, you are such a masochist, dude. > > Oh, wait. I meant you _be_ such a masochist. Far be it from me to lecture a black person on black English, but he’s right, and it _is_ annoying, and this coming from a white boy who couldn’t speak black English if my life depended on it. It still sounds fake and weird when comedians fuck up their black English jokes. Plus, you know, it’s not all that funny. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comedians-some-tips-on-the-black-be-thing/288460/18 "2005-02-05T22:13:15Z")
**pizzabrat** ’s description of the use of the “be” verb in AAVE is correct. This is one of the more interesting and elegant features of AAVE from a linguistic perspective, and is a standard textbook example of how AAVE varies from many other American English dialects. Although some dismiss AAVE as “sloppy English” or claim that it abandons all grammar, it does have its own rules and unique structures. People who don’t understand these rules cannot imitate the dialect correctly. Whether people feel it’s worthwhile to be able to imitate AAVE correctly is a personal call, but I can see poor imitations could get old real fast. Actually, I think genuine AAVE speakers are amazingly tolerant about this, especially considering how much flack they get for supposedly speaking English badly when they’re speaking their own dialect properly. > [@ParentalAdvisory](#): > > Yeah, but the usage, “Why you be hatin?”, would directly mean right now. You know, if you were hatin’ right then and there, and what not. It would mean something more like “Why do you persistently tend to hate in the same way that you are hating right now?” ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comedians-some-tips-on-the-black-be-thing/288460/19 "2005-02-05T22:20:15Z")
> [@ParentalAdvisory](#): > > Yeah, but the usage, “Why you be hatin?”, would directly mean right now. You know, if you were hatin’ right then and there, and what not. No, it means you are habitually a hater alway drinking the Haterade. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comedians-some-tips-on-the-black-be-thing/288460/20 "2005-02-05T22:22:17Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > No, it means you are habitually a hater alway drinking the Haterade. Or what **Lamia** said [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comedians-some-tips-on-the-black-be-thing/288460.md?page=2)