Last summer (2003) the majors treated us to two lengthy crossovers: Batman War Games and Avengers Disassembled, much to our mutual chagrin. One nameless Batfan responded with his own take on War Games. [ul]**Batman: War Games in Five Minutes: **
(author unknown)
BATMAN: I’m a dick.
SPOILER: I want to be Robin since Tim isn’t.
BATMAN: Okay. You’re Robin.
SPOILER: Yay!
BATMAN: You violated my direct orders in order to save my life. You are no longer Robin.
[/ul]This masterpiece of satire orginally appeared on another message board, and has since been cut and pasted onto every comic book-related message board in existance. Whoever wrote it did a great job. Did anyone take a shot at summarizing Avengers: Discombobulated or Identity Crisis? If so, please share it here.
This discussion has the potential to last us a long time: Countdown, Day of Vengeance, OMAC Project, Villains United, Rann-Thanagar War and Ultimate Galactus are all underway. House of M, and Infinite Crisis forevermore are all right around the corner.
I opted for *War Games * & *Identity Crisis * last summer (I wasn’t going to get those plus Disassembled and Secret War), and while I liked the latter, the former suffered from some sudden (in the case of the reporter) inexplicable, forced plot twists, and uneven art (though I think new artist Brad Walker has potential, in a very 70’s way). I generally liked the secondary bat crew-centered books (Robin, Batgirl, Nightwing, Catwoman) more enjoyable than the overstuffed Batman, Legends, Detective, Gotham Knights) normally Batman-centered books. I actually was pretty pissed off over some chapters of the story, and the conclusio was terribly, terribly weak. Thus I found the parody hilarious, and a welcome release.
I don’t think I can top it. I’m hoping someone will take pen in hand and take a shoot at Avengers: Disassembled. (I understand there was alot to make fun of). I might take a shot at Identity Crisis at some point.
Actually the idea for this thread came out of another discussion, of the “dickificaiton” of Batman, that some argue started with Starlin and Aparo’s Batman: A Death in the Family, and others say started with Miller’s Batman: Dark KNight Returns and the acceptance of the idea that Bruce Wayne died with his parents, and today the Wayne persona is the mask, and Batman is the reality.
In Batman and the Outsiders #1 (1984), Batman quit the Justice League because they wouldn’t risk an internation incident to rescue one man from Markovia. At the end of same series (around the same time as DKR), he attempted to unilaterally disband the Outsiders because they wanted to get involved in the Markovian civil war because of their personal connection to it, rather than staying in Gotham.
And that’s just the earliest I can place - it’s unlilkely to be the first, since Barr wasn’t deluged with ‘Batman wouldn’t act like that!’ letters.
Look, Wonk, I know it was well-intended. And I understand that this material appears widely. But you’ve hit the nail on the head: someone wrote it, and that someone has the rights to it. Straight Dope Message Board rules do not permit quoting an entire work. You can provide a link to some website that (one hopes) does have the author’s permission.
