# Comic book experts: Who's the least powerful superhero? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 9, 2003, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comic-book-experts-whos-the-least-powerful-superhero/147573 "2003-01-09T19:07:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2003, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comic-book-experts-whos-the-least-powerful-superhero/147573/81 "2003-01-12T04:31:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Max Carnage: > I don’t remember anyone ever calling Punisher “a superhero.” Well, when the character first got his own book the assumption was that any character with their own title was automatically a superhero. Batman, for example, could be both a vigilante and a superhero. Bear in mind, too, that this was back before the the gritty antihero comic vigilante really developed into its own distinct subgenre. I would also argue that Marvel implicitly categorized the Punisher as a “superhero” by teaming him up with Spider-man from time to time. I mean, they didn’t do any Spider-man/supervillain teamups that I can remember (although I could be wrong about that). The whole “chest-emblem-as-armored-target” idea was a cute way for Frank Miller to justify Batman’s oddly conspicuous trademark symbol, but it really doesn’t wash if you’re going to place your character in more realistic confrontations. Is it really a good idea to make any part of your vigilante more visible? It’s not like Special Ops teams go out of their way to paint big white faces on their armor. SWAT teams do have logos, but I got the idea that was for identification purposes. ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2003, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comic-book-experts-whos-the-least-powerful-superhero/147573/82 "2003-01-12T05:11:23Z")
Re: the Punisher, As distasteful as the character sometimes is, one editor pointed out that if any of us in the real world ever went the “war on crime” route, this is the way we’d do it. Radioactive spiders and knocking guns out of bad guys’ hands with a Batarang just don’t happen in this dimension. Gerry Conway wrote him as Mack Bolan in a union suit. Frank Miller wrote him as a moral pariah. Mike Baron focused on the moral ambiguity of vigilantism, while Chuck Dixon wrote him as the dividing line between military and civilian culture. Garth Ennis writes him as a blood-spattered Warner Brothers cartoon, and I think that’s the appropriate level of seriousness to the concept. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2003, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comic-book-experts-whos-the-least-powerful-superhero/147573/83 "2003-01-12T05:54:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by shy guy \* > **Aquaman …(granted, in the first issue of his latest series, _crabs_ are a serious threat to his life…** That’s what he gets for f\*cking the dolphins. Or, in MAFIA parlance, “Sleeping with the fishes.” As far as worthless superheroes, though, what about the Wonder Twins? One takes the shape of an animal, the other of WATER. Cypher’s been mentioned. Alpha Flight had many: Puck - “I’m short and agile” Smart Aleck - “I’m annoyingly smart” What about the Marvel anti-hero Bushmaster? Part of the Serpent Society, he had the body of a snake, and artificial arms. During the first Secret War, Hawkye and Spider-man were talking. Hawkeye is whittling. SM: What are you doing? H: Making arrows SM: Yeah, Reed (Richards - Mister Fantastic) took my webshooters, too. I feel naked without them. H: Yeah, but you’re still Spider-man without the webs. Without my arrows, man, I’m just a guy in a funny suit. (This exchange came from memory, so a word or two may be off) ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2003, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comic-book-experts-whos-the-least-powerful-superhero/147573/84 "2003-01-12T07:53:16Z")
Gambit. He throws exploding playing cards. Big fucking deal. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2003, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comic-book-experts-whos-the-least-powerful-superhero/147573/85 "2003-01-12T08:08:29Z")
Actually, **Enola** , his power is to charge things like that and make them explode. The cards are just a focus. He could do it with a loogie, too, I understand. The cards also look cool being thrown. ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2003, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comic-book-experts-whos-the-least-powerful-superhero/147573/86 "2003-01-12T08:08:30Z")
Actually, as I recall, the Wasp could rip cars in half with that “bio-electric” sting of hers. Fairly impressive. Uncle Marvel, on the other hand, was an old coot with no superpowers other than one might find in the average sixty-year-old fat guy. For some reason, he liked to hang around with the Batsons, and when they yelled “Shazam!”, he’d take advantage of the flash and thunder to yank his clothes off, revealing his homemade Captain Marvel suit. He invariably begged off demonstrating his superpowers, claiming that the cold weather had his “shazambago” acting up, and his muscles were a bit stiff and sore. Why in ghod’s name the Marvels let him hang out with them remains a mystery that has yet to be satisfactorily understood. It was mentioned several times that they didn’t want to hurt his feelings. This speaks well of their kindness for a dippy old man, but I have yet to figure out why Dr. Sivana didn’t turn the old fool into radioactive ash, just to see the look on the Big Red Cheese’s face when he did it… ---
**Author:** ![Apos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@Apos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apos)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2003, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comic-book-experts-whos-the-least-powerful-superhero/147573/87 "2003-01-12T08:50:11Z")
—Gambit. He throws exploding playing cards.— As was noted, that’s just because the cards are all he needs for some pretty impressive explosions. He’s charged larger objects… and it’s not pretty. I’ve always wondered if he could make the entire Earth explode, since his charging power seems to be without a size limit: just takes a bit longer for larger things. ---
**Author:** ![Banger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@Banger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banger)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2003, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comic-book-experts-whos-the-least-powerful-superhero/147573/88 "2003-01-12T09:26:45Z")
**Ampan Man**. His special power is that his head is made out of bread. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2003, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comic-book-experts-whos-the-least-powerful-superhero/147573/89 "2003-01-12T13:50:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wang-Ka \* > \*\* > Uncle Marvel, on the other hand, was an old coot with no superpowers other than one might find in the average sixty-year-old fat guy. For some reason, he liked to hang around with the Batsons, and when they yelled “Shazam!”, he’d take advantage of the flash and thunder to yank his clothes off, revealing his homemade Captain Marvel suit. > > He invariably begged off demonstrating his superpowers, claiming that the cold weather had his “shazambago” acting up, and his muscles were a bit stiff and sore. > > Why in ghod’s name the Marvels let him hang out with them remains a mystery that has yet to be satisfactorily understood. It was mentioned several times that they didn’t want to hurt his feelings.\*\* All three of the Marvels are orphans. So, yeah…they wanted a substitute father-figure, even a goofy one. Duh.:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2003, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comic-book-experts-whos-the-least-powerful-superhero/147573/90 "2003-01-12T14:58:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wang-Ka \* > **Why in ghod’s name the Marvels let him hang out with them remains a mystery that has yet to be satisfactorily understood** A) Because, as you said, they were being kind B) Because he was _smart_. Lookit how, in the first Black Adam story, the _only_ reasons the Marvel’s survived was because Uncle Marvel was along and outsmarted Black Adam. **Bosda** : Two of the three Marvels were orphans: Mary had been adopted (certainly in the modern-age version, and I’m mostly sure in the Golden Age version) Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Daniel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Daniel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daniel)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2003, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comic-book-experts-whos-the-least-powerful-superhero/147573/91 "2003-01-12T15:49:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Terrifel \* > **My nomination for Lamest Superhero Ever is a little-known Marvel character from the mid-80’s known as, “The Punisher.” His power? He had… a gun!** The Punisher is little-known? ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2003, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comic-book-experts-whos-the-least-powerful-superhero/147573/92 "2003-01-12T15:57:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Daniel \* > \*\*The Punisher is little-known? \*\* I’m a little surprised by that, too, considering Punisher got a movie made about him long before other Marvel characters like Spider-Man, X-Men, etc. It was a lousy movie, but _still_… ---
**Author:** ![sotally\_tober](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@sotally\_tober](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sotally_tober)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2003, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comic-book-experts-whos-the-least-powerful-superhero/147573/93 "2003-01-12T16:15:59Z")
Anyone vote kitty pryde for weakest? Well, she technically can’t do anything while in battle- if she uses her powers. Artie and leech too, for that matter. And someone called saccahrine IIRC -all she could do was sweat sugar. Wow. 0\_o. Say, what about a spawn off thread with the strongest/most powerful villians who are human? Bastion IIRC he was a human after all, right? after claiming to be some mutant whose powers were never revealed. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2003, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comic-book-experts-whos-the-least-powerful-superhero/147573/94 "2003-01-12T16:48:46Z")
> [@](#): > > The Punisher is little-known? I guess what I meant was, “Little-known except for having about a billion spin-off titles, and guesting in all the other Marvel titles, and being on every third cover of _Wizard_ magazine since 1988.” Or I may have been being sarcastic. I forget exactly. ---
**Author:** ![PolishSausage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@PolishSausage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PolishSausage)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2003, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comic-book-experts-whos-the-least-powerful-superhero/147573/95 "2003-01-12T19:04:45Z")
(sorry) I had to defend Shadowcat. She can disrupt electrial systems by passing through them. This would include computers and humanoids (to be scifi PC). ~t ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Death](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecccb3/32.png) [@Evil\_Death](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Death)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2003, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comic-book-experts-whos-the-least-powerful-superhero/147573/96 "2003-01-12T20:00:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by A wizard song for thee \* > \*\*Ummm… Has John Constantine ever actually _used_ the powers he claims to have? I mean, I haven’t read all of _Hellblazer_ or anything, but I’ve only ever seen him talk his way out of things… \*\* He’s summoned the First of the Fallen, which is moderately impressive. My candidate for most underpowered superhero has to be Houston, lead character of DC’s mini-series Relative Heroes. He’s a gay 16-year-old with no superpowers at all. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2003, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comic-book-experts-whos-the-least-powerful-superhero/147573/97 "2003-01-12T20:51:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Evil Death \* > \*\*He’s summoned the First of the Fallen, which is moderately impressive. > > My candidate for most underpowered superhero has to be Houston, lead character of DC’s mini-series Relative Heroes. He’s a gay 16-year-old with no superpowers at all. \*\* I though all gay people had inherent powers of fabulousity when properly motivated. The sole chink in their fabulosity powers is exposure to plaid which renders them weak and listless. ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2003, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comic-book-experts-whos-the-least-powerful-superhero/147573/98 "2003-01-12T22:09:12Z")
> [@](#): > > Oddly, I was thinking about this guy the other day. > > He could ONLY fly in the open sky, or in a perfectly enormous interior…an armory, say, or a domed stadium. > > Not much good as a superhero, I’d say. Unless he poked villians in the eye with a wing-tip. > [@](#): > > “Forge” from the X-Men. Just what was his power any way? Actually, he was very powerful, but subtle. He could design and build super-technology extremely fast and with very little to start with. He was always a background character, though. He helped build a lot of the “cool gadgets” you see floating around the X-men and such. > [@](#): > > Hawkeye, Batman, Daredevil, Punisher I was thinking these three didn’t really fall into the category of super-powered-hero, just superhero. Their powers, however difficult, were entirely mundane and the result of practice and talent, right? I don’t think they can be called lame, and they were much stronger than many super-powered characters. > [@](#): > > Anyone vote kitty pryde for weakest? > > Well, she technically can’t do anything while in battle- if she uses her powers. Actually, she has the most devastating power ever. The writers simply never used it except when it was rarely convenient to the plot. She could prety much destroy anything while phased. She simply never did. Wierd. I think Arms-Fall-Off-Boy wins it by a… finger. Cypher actually came in handy once in a while. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2003, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comic-book-experts-whos-the-least-powerful-superhero/147573/99 "2003-01-12T22:21:09Z")
Well, I think the nominations of Uncle Marvel and Merryman (of the Inferior Five) have me beat. But I want to mention the Gay Ghost (or the Grim Ghost, or really any-old-adjective-beginning-with-G Ghost, if “Gay” will confuse the kids). This guy was an old ghost who had the amazing ability to occupy & animate someone else’s dead body. He picked the body of this guy with a hot fiancée who conveniently died in the house he was haunting. So most of the time he’d pretend he was really the dead guy. Then he could leave it behind and do ghostly intangible stuff as the body just lay there dead. I kept thinking the body would get pretty ripe. But then I just read his first appearance. That was in _Sensation Comics_ #1, along with Wonder Woman, Wildcat, Mr. Terrific, Little Boy Blue :rolleyes:, and the Errol-Flynn-esque Black Pirate. Actually, Little Boy Blue may have been more lame. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2003, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comic-book-experts-whos-the-least-powerful-superhero/147573/100 "2003-01-12T23:02:48Z")
I have to stick up for Doug Ramsey, aka Cypher of the New Mutants. His language ability extended to computer systems. I don’t know how many times he saved the world by figuring out how to reprogram the bad-guy’s computer just seconds before the nuclear missiles were launched. Plus Warlock was always changing himself into a suit of power armor that Cypher would pilot. And he was always programming the Danger Room training sequences for the other New Mutants. While Cypher’s powers weren’t that much good in a toe-to-toe battle with the Hellfire Club, at least he had useful powers that weren’t duplicated by every two-bit super hero out there. Oh, your super power is that you can fly? Sorry, we’ve got 500 super heroes that can both fly and ALSO do other stuff. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comic-book-experts-whos-the-least-powerful-superhero/147573.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/comic-book-experts-whos-the-least-powerful-superhero/147573.md?page=6)