# Coming back to the U.S. after two years -- anything happen while I was gone? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 8, 2005, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-back-to-the-u-s-after-two-years-anything-happen-while-i-was-gone/288974 "2005-02-08T12:44:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![False\_God](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ee7513/32.png) [@False\_God](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/False_God)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2005, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-back-to-the-u-s-after-two-years-anything-happen-while-i-was-gone/288974/21 "2005-02-13T04:11:37Z")
Well, I was actually back for two weeks after Thanksgiving while they tried to figure out if I had viral meningitis, malaria, dengue, or encephalitis, so I’ve seen a bit of the States (Washington, DC anyway) and there were a lot of changes, but it still seemed familiar once you got over the mindf\*ck factor of “yesterday I was standing in a third world country where you know the lepers’ names on the way home and today my biggest decision is a venti latte or a grande americano.” I guess one of the things I’ve taken away from this experience is how bloody lucky most people in the global north are, and how few of them realize it. Try going to a refugee camp,a minefield-that-used-to-be-a school, a hospital that doesn’t have a/c in the operating room, then taking your VIPs to dinner at a five-star hotel and hearing them bitch about how tough parking is in Kalorama. And I, for one, welcome our new squid overlords. I have to defend Bushco policies every day and sound like I believe it. But I get to meet Bill Clinton next week, so it evens out. And I got to spend about an hour talking to Angelina Jolie just after I got here, so the job has perks. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2005, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-back-to-the-u-s-after-two-years-anything-happen-while-i-was-gone/288974/22 "2005-02-13T04:21:59Z")
> [@Poonther](#): > > Cell phone usage has gotten crazy. Everyone seems to have one and everyone seems to be on them. Almost half of the people driving are on them. When you go to the grocery store, Target or the bank and chances are half the people will be chatting away loudly on them even when they are checking out of the store and the clerk is helping them. At the movies chances are that you’ll hear at least one cell phone ring during the movie even though they run ads telling people to turn them off. > > My question is: Who are all these people talking to? Classic Gahan Wilson cartoon: A guy in a business suit is walking down a crowded city sidewalk talking into a (clunky, '80s-vintage) cell phone. Caption: “These portable phones are great! I can walk around talking to myself all day long and nobody looks at me like I’m crazy!” ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2005, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-back-to-the-u-s-after-two-years-anything-happen-while-i-was-gone/288974/23 "2005-02-13T04:23:36Z")
> [@MGibson](#): > > Very little has changed significantly over the past two years. > > Marc I have aged 9 months, maybe a year. I think that is pretty significant. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2005, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-back-to-the-u-s-after-two-years-anything-happen-while-i-was-gone/288974/24 "2005-02-13T04:31:08Z")
Oh, and when you left, **False\_God,** we still had a Constitution and a Bill of Rights and stuff. But, come to think about it, nobody really misses them. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2005, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-back-to-the-u-s-after-two-years-anything-happen-while-i-was-gone/288974/25 "2005-02-13T04:57:47Z")
Liberals and Conservatives are at each other’s throats, both perfectly ready and willing to tear the country apart to satisfy their sick lusts for dominance and the struggle for power. So, pretty much like two years ago. And two years from now. And two hundred years from now. And _Buffy_ went off the air. Anime is getting better and better. American cel animation…not so much. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2005, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-back-to-the-u-s-after-two-years-anything-happen-while-i-was-gone/288974/26 "2005-02-13T10:33:47Z")
They have somehow changed the formula for my favorite potato chips, that and the weather is bad this time of year. Oh, and the giant bats, but you will see them soon enough. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2005, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-back-to-the-u-s-after-two-years-anything-happen-while-i-was-gone/288974/27 "2005-02-13T14:45:38Z")
> [@Paul in Saudi](#): > > Oh, and the giant bats, but you will see them soon enough. The Giant Bats only go after people far gone in vicious ether binges. To say otherwise would be jabbering Roundhead madness. 😉😃 ---
**Author:** ![Unregistered\_Bull](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3da27b/32.png) [@Unregistered\_Bull](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unregistered_Bull)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2005, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-back-to-the-u-s-after-two-years-anything-happen-while-i-was-gone/288974/28 "2005-02-13T15:07:57Z")
ASSault Weapons Ban of 93 expired. Suprised me. I thought the Republicans were a little too leftwing for this to happen. ---
**Author:** ![ratatoskK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ratatoskk/32/2987_2.png) [@ratatoskK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratatoskK)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2005, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-back-to-the-u-s-after-two-years-anything-happen-while-i-was-gone/288974/29 "2005-02-13T17:17:37Z")
The latest thing you’re not supposed to eat is “trans fats.” It’s in almost all processed food. Read all about it [here.](http://www.nytimes.com/2005/02/13/business/13transfat.html) ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2005, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-back-to-the-u-s-after-two-years-anything-happen-while-i-was-gone/288974/30 "2005-02-13T18:09:14Z")
the Atkins diet craze… it’s been around for a bit more than 2 years,so it wont be totally new to you. But it is the only diet fad to actually have a social impact.Major restaurant chains have adapted their menus for Atkins clients. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2005, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-back-to-the-u-s-after-two-years-anything-happen-while-i-was-gone/288974/31 "2005-02-13T18:16:38Z")
The new hybrid flying cars are everywhere, and so are tiny electric scooters for the kids. Segways (a form of personal transportation) have made huge inroads into our daily lives and some in Congress are talking about licensing them. Scientists at Doc Johnson Laboratories have perfected the artifical “forcefield” based vagina, but it’s power requirements are such that it requires a three phase, 440V, 600 AMP industrial power supply to operate correctly. Live action role playing games are the latest craze, and participants are no longer regarded as lifeless “lamers” but are accorded the highest degrees of social respect. Popular 70’s singer Linda Ronstadt was discovered to be a cross dressing man with a nice voice. ---
**Author:** ![leroy\_the\_mule](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6a8cbe/32.png) [@leroy\_the\_mule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leroy_the_mule)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2005, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-back-to-the-u-s-after-two-years-anything-happen-while-i-was-gone/288974/32 "2005-02-13T19:45:45Z")
\*\* What have been the highlights of 2003-2005?\*\* Two years? Well, [six billion metric tons](http://topsoil.nserl.purdue.edu/nserlweb/weppmain/overview/intro.html) of our soil washed into the ocean. No big deal–not the stuff of civilization like cars, sports, diet crazes, or TV. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2005, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-back-to-the-u-s-after-two-years-anything-happen-while-i-was-gone/288974/33 "2005-02-14T02:55:06Z")
> [@Machetero](#): > > ASSault Weapons Ban of 93 expired. Suprised me. I thought the Republicans were a little too leftwing for this to happen. Oh, but there’s a weak, halfassed ban on .50 BMG rifles in California now. Trebuchets, Mangonels, and Catapaults are still OK, though. ---
**Author:** ![False\_God](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ee7513/32.png) [@False\_God](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/False_God)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2005, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-back-to-the-u-s-after-two-years-anything-happen-while-i-was-gone/288974/34 "2005-02-14T12:48:34Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > Oh, but there’s a weak, halfassed ban on .50 BMG rifles in California now. > > Trebuchets, Mangonels, and Catapaults are still OK, though. Good, as I’ll actually be bringing back my scale model (and functioning!) mini-mangonel, which can put iron balls through plywood at 50 feet. In re the giant bats, I live in freakin’ Sri Lanka. We’ve got seventeen species of bats, the largest can have wingspans of approximately four feet. ---
**Author:** ![Owlett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e95f7d/32.png) [@Owlett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Owlett)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2005, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-back-to-the-u-s-after-two-years-anything-happen-while-i-was-gone/288974/35 "2005-02-14T17:41:29Z")
As a lesbian, I’d have to say that one of the biggest changes in the past two years is that since May, same-sex couples have been able to get legally married somewhere in the United States—to whit, Massachusetts. (Several other jurisdictions, notably San Francisco, issued marriage licenses to same-sex couples last year, but those actions were ruled illegal.) The Massachusetts legislature and electorate may eventually overturn the current law, but for now, any (unmarried) adult living in Massachusetts can legally marry another (unmarried) adult of the same sex. That’s a huge sociological change, if only a small step on the road to equality. Public opinion around the country is strongly divided on this issue, as it is on many issues these days. This past November, a dozen or so states passed amendments to their consitutions banning same-sex marriage. And the President has called for an amendment to the federal constitution to ban same-sex marriage nationwide. The issue is incredibly divisive, with those opposed uniting under the slogan of trying to save “traditional marriage” (a buzzword much used these days). Depending on where you settle, you might find yourself landing in the middile of this debate, with a state referendum to vote in, opinion pieces in the local media, or demonstrations pro or con filling the sidewalks of the state capital. Here in Virginia (I live outside DC), it’s open season politically on gay people. The state legislature is considering bills to put bans on same-sex marriage and civil unions in the state constitution, make it much harder for gay people to adopt children (even their partner’s), ban gay-straight alliances at public high schools, and put the words “traditional marriage” on some license plates. So, for those of us who had the good (or bad) fortune to fall in love with and find a life partner in someone of the same sex as us, it is (as Dickens wrote) both the best of times and the worst of times. ---
**Author:** ![False\_God](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ee7513/32.png) [@False\_God](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/False_God)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-back-to-the-u-s-after-two-years-anything-happen-while-i-was-gone/288974/36 "2005-03-17T16:48:04Z")
Okay, I’ve been back for about two weeks now (and on a tres crap dialup, hence the lack of posting.) Random notes: – My god people are fat in this country. When did we start needing a manhole-cover sized hamburger for lunch? And since when is a small soda 16 oz.? That’s a pint where I come from. – it’s strange to have white people be nice, helpful and respectful. Actually, seeing honkies (I’m Mexican/Native American) in any concentration is weird. –The money is all the same size. And colour. And doesn’t smell. – How many flavors of ketchup and mustard do we need? – Low-carb bread. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. Also see low-carb beer. –Wolfowitz? Seriously? – Has anyone in the U.S. actually been outside of it? Canada and Mexico do count. I talked to a junior high class that raised some money for tsunami victims in Sri Lanka that I helped hook up with a good charity and when I described living conditions jaws dropped. Not one of them who didn’t have relatives in the Philippines or Mexico had ever been outside the country, some hadn’t even been outside California. (I also asked how many of them had a video game system and all the hands went up. Rotten little punks – in my day we had sticks and rocks and we loved it.) –When did TV go nuts and develop channels for every possible niche market? I swear if I wanted to see “Queer Eye for the Working Pagan Vegan Mom” I could find it. ---
**Author:** ![False\_God](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ee7513/32.png) [@False\_God](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/False_God)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-back-to-the-u-s-after-two-years-anything-happen-while-i-was-gone/288974/37 "2005-03-17T16:50:10Z")
Oh, and when did Wal-Mart become the entrance to Dante’s Inferno? Neither my wife or I are going back there unless we are heavily sedated, that way it’s at least be funny in a David Lynch way. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-back-to-the-u-s-after-two-years-anything-happen-while-i-was-gone/288974/38 "2005-03-17T17:53:10Z")
> [@False\_God](#): > > Oh, and when did Wal-Mart become the entrance to Dante’s Inferno? > Neither my wife or I are going back there unless we are heavily sedated, that way it’s at least be funny in a David Lynch way. You mean there was a time when it **wasn’t**? Oh, and low-carb beer is just lite beer relabeled for the fad. Same stuff, new description. ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-back-to-the-u-s-after-two-years-anything-happen-while-i-was-gone/288974/39 "2005-03-17T18:15:16Z")
If you really want a dispassionate and reasoned response to what’s been happening in the states, I’d ask **rjung**. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-back-to-the-u-s-after-two-years-anything-happen-while-i-was-gone/288974/40 "2005-03-17T18:27:46Z")
> [@False\_God](#): > > – Has anyone in the U.S. actually been outside of it? Canada and Mexico do count. I talked to a junior high class that raised some money for tsunami victims in Sri Lanka that I helped hook up with a good charity and when I described living conditions jaws dropped. Not one of them who didn’t have relatives in the Philippines or Mexico had ever been outside the country, some hadn’t even been outside California. I bow to you, oh False God. But really, I’ve been to England, Scotland and Canada, to answer your rhetorical question. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-back-to-the-u-s-after-two-years-anything-happen-while-i-was-gone/288974.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-back-to-the-u-s-after-two-years-anything-happen-while-i-was-gone/288974.md?page=3)