# Coming of age films for people in their 30s **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 19, 2014, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-of-age-films-for-people-in-their-30s/701865 "2014-10-19T23:30:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-of-age-films-for-people-in-their-30s/701865/1 "2014-10-19T23:30:10Z")
I’m watching the Big Chill right now, it isn’t bad. I am curious as to what other art is out there that documents the process of going from your 20s into your 30s. For me the transition was pretty big. In my 20s I could take my health for granted, I can’t do that in my 30s. I’m much more aware of my fragility and mortality. Plus the idealism of my 20s has been worn down by adult life. Plus even though I don’t have kids directly, there are kids I feel somewhat responsible for and it has changed my life in some ways (how I approach finances for example). Most coming of age films seem to only focus on childhood. I’m more interested in the transition from 20s to 30s and how it affects relationships, health, idealism, values, goals in life, etc. Are there any good pieces of art on this? By art I mean I prefer film but also like books. However I generally prefer biographies over fiction, but will take all opinions. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-of-age-films-for-people-in-their-30s/701865/2 "2014-10-19T23:39:33Z")
Have you seen “About Last Night”? I mean the one from the eighties, not the recent remake. The characters were probably not quite into their 30s, but they were definitely older than the usual high-school era coming-of-age characters. ---
**Author:** ![Flywheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-of-age-films-for-people-in-their-30s/701865/3 "2014-10-19T23:52:27Z")
[The Comedy (2012)](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Comedy) > [@](#): > > Indifferent even to the prospects of inheriting his father’s estate, Swanson (Heidecker) whittles away his days with a group of aging Williamsburg hipsters, engaging in acts of recreational cruelty and pacified boredom. Desensitized and disenchanted, he strays into a series of reckless situations that may offer the promise of redemption or the threat of retribution. ---
**Author:** ![Tara57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@Tara57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tara57)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2014, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-of-age-films-for-people-in-their-30s/701865/4 "2014-10-20T00:04:20Z")
I’m 42, and Friends was my coming of age entertainment, if not art. I was 29 when “The One When They All Turned 30” episode aired. It made me feel okay about turning 30. While the stories were all exagerated for comedic and dramatic effect, I felt that the emotions were very genuine in dealing with getting a job, losing a job, changing careers, dating, family issues, getting married, and having babies. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Nylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/77aa72/32.png) [@Mr.Nylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Nylock)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2014, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-of-age-films-for-people-in-their-30s/701865/5 "2014-10-20T00:06:58Z")
Maybe “the Natural” could fit. I watched it last night and started crying at the end for some reason; weird. ---
**Author:** ![Tara57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@Tara57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tara57)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2014, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-of-age-films-for-people-in-their-30s/701865/6 "2014-10-20T00:11:45Z")
How could I forget Thirtysomething? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2014, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-of-age-films-for-people-in-their-30s/701865/7 "2014-10-20T01:23:22Z")
I think the problem is most people feel they’ve come of age by the time they’re in their thirties. People will generally be done with school, independent from their families, well along in a career, and started on a family by that point so you can’t tell a typical coming of age story about them. A movie about somebody coming of age in their thirties would tend to be a story about a delayed coming of age - something like _Failure to Launch_. ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2014, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-of-age-films-for-people-in-their-30s/701865/8 "2014-10-20T01:26:46Z")
It’s kind of the central theme of Kevin Smith’s [_Clerks 2_](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clerks_II). (in the same way that Coming of Age in Your 20s was a central theme of his first _Clerks_ movie) I’d say that it’s present in the subtext of [_Scotland, PA_](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scotland,_PA). The main characters’ goals are all about reaching that next stage in life: they go from fast food employees to owning the restaurant and buying a house and being “model citizens”. And, of course we should not forget the comic strip [_Cathy_](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cathy). ---
**Author:** ![Washoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecae2f/32.png) [@Washoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washoe)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2014, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-of-age-films-for-people-in-their-30s/701865/9 "2014-10-20T01:27:06Z")
_Y tu mama tabien_ is outstanding. Doesn’t exactly fit the parameters you outlined, but well worth watching nonetheless. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2014, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-of-age-films-for-people-in-their-30s/701865/10 "2014-10-20T01:27:36Z")
the entire concept of “coming of age” is horseshit. we don’t all go through life experiencing the same things, so the notion of there being some “script” to one’s life is garbage. ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2014, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-of-age-films-for-people-in-their-30s/701865/11 "2014-10-20T01:32:57Z")
> [@Washoe](#): > > _Y tu mama tabien_ is outstanding. Doesn’t exactly fit the parameters you outlined, but well worth watching nonetheless. Been a long time since I’ve seen it, but isn’t the one character in her 30s preparing to _die_ from a degenerative illness? And the other characters are late teens or early 20s. ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2014, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-of-age-films-for-people-in-their-30s/701865/12 "2014-10-20T01:45:38Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > the entire concept of “coming of age” is horseshit. we don’t all go through life experiencing the same things, so the notion of there being some “script” to one’s life is garbage. Everyone within a shared culture is aware of popularly bought-into social expectations. Such social expectations exist regardless of how tethered to reality they may or may not be. Some people buy into it and strive to be on track with the expectations. Some people happily eschew the expectations without any personal conflict. Some people internalize the expectations and experience unhappiness until they are able to let go and accept that there are other paths to happiness. But, yeah, there is definitely a “script” that everyone in a shared culture is aware of whether they choose to make it important or not. Just because you think there shouldn’t be a script, that the script is unrealistic or harmful, doesn’t mean there isn’t a script. And there is plenty of history of this script being explored in art and entertainment. And it’s pretty damn popular if you haven’t noticed. The best of it can even be helpful to people who may be experiencing unhappiness that their lives are not matching the script. Stories that explore this conflict can help some people embrace the realization that they don’t have to follow the script. If there’s a discussion that you think would be a better use of the board’s resources perhaps you’d like to start another Thread. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2014, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-of-age-films-for-people-in-their-30s/701865/13 "2014-10-20T01:45:39Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I think the problem is most people feel they’ve come of age by the time they’re in their thirties. People will generally be done with school, independent from their families, well along in a career, and started on a family by that point so you can’t tell a typical coming of age story about them. A movie about somebody coming of age in their thirties would tend to be a story about a delayed coming of age - something like _Failure to Launch_. hahaha burn Some people don’t finish school until their late 20s, people start having kids in their 30s, it takes years to find an actual career (instead of a job) now so aging is being delayed. Milestones people used to hit in their 20s are more coming in the 30s now. ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_Sams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@Dale\_Sams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_Sams)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2014, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-of-age-films-for-people-in-their-30s/701865/14 "2014-10-20T01:54:22Z")
“Bull Durham”? Sorta? ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2014, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-of-age-films-for-people-in-their-30s/701865/15 "2014-10-20T01:54:51Z")
> [@Tara57](#): > > I’m 42, and Friends was my coming of age entertainment, if not art. I was 29 when “The One When They All Turned 30” episode aired. It made me feel okay about turning 30. While the stories were all exagerated for comedic and dramatic effect, I felt that the emotions were very genuine in dealing with getting a job, losing a job, changing careers, dating, family issues, getting married, and having babies. I’m 42 as well… for me, “Office Space” was kind of the one movie that struck home; after a lifetime of having caring parents look out for me up through high school, and the relatively safe cocoon of college, I was on my own, in the tech field at about the time the movie came out. It struck home in a lot of ways, and once I moved to Dallas (at 27), it really struck home, because I actually started recognizing locations, and unfortunately, my job resembled Peter’s job somewhat. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2014, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-of-age-films-for-people-in-their-30s/701865/16 "2014-10-20T03:25:46Z")
I’m not sure this is what you’re looking for, but there was a film about three years ago called _[Ten Years](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/10_Years_%28film%29)_ about a group preparing to attend their ten-year high school reunion. Also, the fourth film in the _American Pie_ series, _[American Reunion](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Reunion)_ was set thirteen years after the main characters graduated from high school. And the film _[Peter’s Friends](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter%27s_Friends)_ is about a group of people who ten years prior performed in a student theatrical troupe at Cambridge. (So they would be in their early thirties, although many of the actors seem a bit older.) ---
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2014, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-of-age-films-for-people-in-their-30s/701865/17 "2014-10-20T03:40:26Z")
I thought a few episodes of \*Sex And The City \*dealt with this quite well. There was one episode where their friend, a family raring suburbanite, decided to be a wild party animal again. There was also an episode where Carrie is dating a 20-something and the gap between their lives is commented on. ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2014, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-of-age-films-for-people-in-their-30s/701865/18 "2014-10-20T09:27:33Z")
**Garden State Little Miss Sunshine** has people from every decade in their life coming of age. **Gatsby** ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2014, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-of-age-films-for-people-in-their-30s/701865/19 "2014-10-20T11:55:17Z")
**Young Adult** , starring Charlize Theron, was all about this: she’s living off Lean Cuisine and alcohol like a twentysomething while still carrying a torch for her high-school sweetheart (who, as the movie opens, has only just now become a dad); for irony points, her job is of course writing a coming-of-age story for young adults – for the obligatory _“That was brilliant. That was masterful. Or, no, save it for your little teenage stories, because God knows you don’t know shit about being an adult!”_ ---
**Author:** ![EllisDee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellisdee/32/4531_2.png) [@EllisDee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EllisDee)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2014, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-of-age-films-for-people-in-their-30s/701865/20 "2014-10-20T11:57:27Z")
This is a whole genre to itself. Mostly they center around college friends reuniting for a wedding, but funerals and reunions are also common. Not Since You Standing Still The Romantics Shut Up and Sing Beautiful Girls Peter’s Friends [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coming-of-age-films-for-people-in-their-30s/701865.md?page=2)