# Commentators Who Say Stupid Things **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 23, 2001, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commentators-who-say-stupid-things/77790 "2001-08-23T21:09:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commentators-who-say-stupid-things/77790/21 "2001-08-24T13:13:48Z")
When Scott Hamilton was announcing for Olympic Skating, during the second round of competition, after every single skater, while they were waiting for the scores he said, “These numbers can only go up…” ---
**Author:** ![walor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@walor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/walor)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commentators-who-say-stupid-things/77790/22 "2001-08-24T13:18:17Z")
Try this folks [www.btinternet.com/~homepage/ballsa.htm#cole](http://www.btinternet.com/~homepage/ballsa.htm#cole) Coleman’s not so much annoying as amusing. ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commentators-who-say-stupid-things/77790/23 "2001-08-24T13:41:18Z")
Not stupid but very good. One of Irelands national treasures. Micheal O Muircheartaigh’s greatest sayings… (Galway V Cork) Anthony Lynch the Cork corner back will be the last person to let you down, his people are undertakers (Sligo V Dublin) I saw a few Sligo people at Mass in Gardiner street this morning and the omens seem to be good for them, the priest was wearing the same colour as the Sligo jersey! 40 yards out on the hogan stand side of the field… Colin Corkery on the 45 lets go with the right boot. It’s over the bar. This man shouldn’t be playing football. He’s made an almost Lazarus-like recovery from a heart condition. Lazarus was a great man but he couldn’t kick points like Colin Corkery. 1-5 to 0-8… well from Lapland to the Antarctic, that’s level scores in any man’s language. Pat Fox has it on his hurl and is motoring well now … but here comes Joe Rabbit hot on his tail… I’ve seen it all now, a Rabbit chasing a Fox around Croke Park! Pat Fox out to the forty and grabs the sliothar, I bought a dog from his father last week. Fox turns and sprints for goal, the dog ran a great race last Tuesday in Limerick. Fox to the 21 fires a shot, it goes to the left and wide… and the dog lost as well.’ Teddy McCarthy to John McCarthy, no relation, John McCarthy back to Teddy McCarthy, still no relation. Sean Og o Hailpin… his father’s from Fermanagh, his mother’s from Fiji, neither a hurling stronghold. For silly things you need go no further than the master [Murray Walker](http://www.worldmotorsport.com/murray/) of Grand Prix fame. ---
**Author:** ![the\_O-man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9f8e36/32.png) [@the\_O-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_O-man)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commentators-who-say-stupid-things/77790/24 "2001-08-24T14:03:56Z")
One thing that I remember that still bugs me is when Bud Collins was commentating at the French Open after Jim Courier won for the second time. Courier had said that if he won again, he would give his victory speech on the court in French. True to his word, he spoke in the language and threw in the disclaimer, “Pardonnez-moi si je parle francais comme une vache Espagnol…” _(or something close to that)_ Bud Collins starts laughing hysterically and says, “He just apologized to the crowd for his Spanish!” Which was not the case, Courier used an idiomatic expression in which he apologized for speaking French like a Spanish cow. In France, many native English speakers have such a bad accent, they sound “like a Spanish cow” to the locals. I just disliked the way Bud Collins assumed he understood the language and could translate for us poor American slobs watching back home. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commentators-who-say-stupid-things/77790/25 "2001-08-24T14:32:07Z")
Bud COllins is truly an embarrassment. I recall how, after Michael Stich of Germany won the Wimbledon final, Bud strolled over and began speaking fractured, garbled German to Stich. Not surprisingly, it turned out that Stich spoke much better English than Bud did. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commentators-who-say-stupid-things/77790/26 "2001-08-24T14:33:57Z")
I don’t know the commentator, but I was watching a college football game on ESPN and there were about 2 minutes left and the team on defense had the lead. This is when I heard the stupidest thing from a commentator ever: “The Aggies really have to hold their water now.” ---
**Author:** ![Fiddle\_Peghead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiddle_peghead/32/3506_2.png) [@Fiddle\_Peghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiddle_Peghead)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commentators-who-say-stupid-things/77790/27 "2001-08-24T14:50:18Z")
Ah, Bud Collins. This may be rather obscure, but does anybody remember, during Wimbledon coverage, “…net cord!”, spoken sotto voce, everytime a player would hit the net while keeping the ball in play? Used to bug the shit out of my brothers and I. ---
**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commentators-who-say-stupid-things/77790/28 "2001-08-24T18:31:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RickJay \* > \*\*Of course, the best ever was by broadcaster Jerry Coleman, who once announced on the radio: > > **"That ball is deep to center field! Winfield goes back after it… he hits his head against the wall! It rolls off, it’s rolling towards second base!"** \*\* How serendipitous. The doyen of UK commentator-speak used to be **David Coleman** , a person who could detract from any commentary merely by adding to it. Satirical magazine ‘Private Eye’ has published a series of books, ‘Colemanballs’, dedicated to this Eminence Grise of the spoken word. So it helps if you name is Coleman then. ---
**Author:** ![pldennison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commentators-who-say-stupid-things/77790/29 "2001-08-24T18:41:49Z")
Beloved Indians broadcaster Herb Score was often heard making fun gaffes on the air. In his defense, he was once hit in the face by a batted ball when he was pitching. My favorite of his, upon witnessing a long fly ball: _"Is it fair? Is it foul? It is!!!_ I used to run the board at WKNR-AM for Cleveland Indians Radio Network feeds, and Herb would often lose his place when giving outcues for commercial breaks. I can’t remember how many times I heard him say, “And, after four innings, it’s Cleveland 3, Indians 2.” :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Kantalooppi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a5b964/32.png) [@Kantalooppi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kantalooppi)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commentators-who-say-stupid-things/77790/30 "2001-08-24T18:46:22Z")
Formula 1, Finnish TV, Antti Kyllönen: “Skirts up, Scotsman (McLaren), Häkkinen is coming from behind!” ---
**Author:** ![simply\_cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@simply\_cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simply_cats)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commentators-who-say-stupid-things/77790/31 "2001-08-24T20:12:05Z")
While killing time yesterday, I happened to catch “Judge Judy.” I began to wonder, after the plaintiff had said for the third time that the defendant had made himself “spairce” instead of “scarce,” how annoyed judges must get after hearing morons try to use big words to impress their audience. It was an entertaining show 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2001, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commentators-who-say-stupid-things/77790/32 "2001-08-25T00:45:29Z")
I was listening to a newscast on a local radio station the other day. The newsreader said that police raided a marijuana grow-op and were surprised to discover a “large cock ring”. Then he paused for a moment as if thinking to himself _what the hell did I just say?_. It turned out he was talking about a cock_fighting_ ring, or cockpit. Still, it sounded funny, those police discovering a large cock ring. ---
**Author:** ![PlanMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/2bfe46/32.png) [@PlanMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlanMan)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2001, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commentators-who-say-stupid-things/77790/33 "2001-08-25T02:15:56Z")
A pronunciation thing. Jacksonville has had the NFL Jaguars since 1995(?). Local newsreaders STILL mispronounce the name. It is NOT - JagWIRES, it is JagWars. If I were news director at one of the local stations, I’d fine every on-air idiot that said Jagwires … $100 the first time, $200 the second, $400 the third, and so on. Depending upon my mood, I might restart the count each newcast, or I might just let it run cumulatively. ---
**Author:** ![Anal\_Scurvy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c57346/32.png) [@Anal\_Scurvy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anal_Scurvy)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2001, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commentators-who-say-stupid-things/77790/34 "2001-08-25T11:32:22Z")
At one of the UFC’s Tank Abbot was commentating (a bar brawler who can bench 600 pounds and works himself into exhaustion if the fight lasts more than a minute - gets hit in the head a lot, now in wrestling) on a couple of matches. The first one I remember, the other commentators clearly didn’t like him there. The tone they used and a few things they slipped in, but at one point Tank was just describing the current match. It was some lightweights and he said he wanted to see a heavyweight fight, because this was like watching chihuahuas fight. He wanted to see some “bulldogs” fight. The commentator laughed condescendingly and said that a bulldog is a small dog itself. Tank gave a “what the fuck?” look and pointed out that it was bigger than a chihuahua. In another one, they introduced him as a commentator and were clearly trying to outclass him by haphazardly using polysyllabic words. Tank just rolled his eyes, “I don’t know any of those words, I went to a _state_ college.” ---
**Author:** ![Marc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8dc957/32.png) [@Marc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marc)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2001, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commentators-who-say-stupid-things/77790/35 "2001-08-25T19:20:03Z")
[slight hijack] I can’t read this thread without thinking of the best movie parody of a commentator: Fred Willard in Best in Show. “You know it’s hard to believe that in some countries, they eat these dogs.” [end slight hijack] ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2001, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commentators-who-say-stupid-things/77790/36 "2001-08-25T19:30:25Z")
> [@](#): > > Chris Collingsworth- just a big mouth that spouts garbage. 75% of what he says is untrue, the guy is a total ass clown who has zero clue as to what he is talking about. This guy could not predict a race between a snail and a cheetah. He’s kind of hard to look at too. Yes, yes yes, a thousand times yes! I _hate_ this guy. I was so excited when he left NBC, than one day I turn on FOX, and there’s his big fat stupid head! ---
**Author:** ![Halfpint](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/f0a364/32.png) [@Halfpint](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Halfpint)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2001, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commentators-who-say-stupid-things/77790/37 "2001-08-25T20:44:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by yojimbo \* > \*\* > For silly things you need go no further than the master [Murray Walker](http://www.worldmotorsport.com/murray/) of Grand Prix fame. \*\* Ah yes, in a conversation about dumb things said by sports commentators, you can practically guarantee that Murray Walker will appear. For those of you who have never heard of him, he commentates on Formula One. He’s a genuinely huge fan of the sport, but unfortunately his enthusiasm tends to run ahead of his coherence. How old is he now? Somewhere in his seventies, I believe, and he’s retiring this year. Probably about time - he’s had over 40 years commentating, I would guess, and these last couple of years he’s tended to become a parody of himself. The great thing about Murray Walker is that although he makes mistakes, he genuinely loves his sport ---
**Author:** ![poohpah\_chalupa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/91b2a8/32.png) [@poohpah\_chalupa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/poohpah_chalupa)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2001, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commentators-who-say-stupid-things/77790/38 "2001-08-26T02:00:54Z")
Olympic Ice Skating and **Dick Button** , former Olympic medalist. Why doesn’t he just comment on the skaters, not on how “fat” she is, how “plain” she is, etc. These are Olympic-caliber skaters with extraordinary athletic skills that, most likely, were a combination of exceptional genes and an incredible amount of practice and hard work. …and Button wants to comment on their appearance. Pathetic. ---
**Author:** ![anenquiringmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anenquiringmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anenquiringmind)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2001, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commentators-who-say-stupid-things/77790/39 "2001-09-04T02:54:21Z")
Here in Atlanta a while back we had a small plane crash and burst into flames onto I-85 or Ga 400 cant remember which…, during rush hour. Naturally the media was live at the scene. The local birdbrain anchor Brenda Wood from WXIA was asking questions of the reporters. She was sooooo excited to be a part of this “Live Happening” she couldn’t hardly stand it. She was asking him all kinds of stupid questions, THEN she asked him. “Did you hear any screams coming from inside the plane?” My SO and I looked at each other in TOTAL DISBELIEF!!! Did she really say that!!! We never EVER watch that channel anymore, if she’s on while we’re passing through, we both say. “That Stupid Bitch” and keep on going… ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2001, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commentators-who-say-stupid-things/77790/40 "2001-09-04T03:31:26Z")
That is why Button is being replaced with the ambassador to ice skating Scott Hamilton, who only backbites about missed routines. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commentators-who-say-stupid-things/77790.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commentators-who-say-stupid-things/77790.md?page=3)