# Commercials that fail **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 15, 2009, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562 "2009-03-15T23:00:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/21 "2009-03-16T17:23:46Z")
I always picture the rooms at the big advertising agencies going something like this: > [@](#): > > Dude! You’ve done it again! That ad \*sucks \*so much \*everyone \*will talk about it! You’ll get a bonus for sure! That poor schmo Henderson keeps trying to \*sell \*stuff! And interviews going something like this: > [@](#): > > No, no. Don’t tell me about the ads you wrote that _sold_, tell me about the ones that really _suck_! Those are gold mines! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![sachertorte](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sachertorte/32/3727_2.png) [@sachertorte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sachertorte)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/22 "2009-03-16T17:26:12Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > As **Robby** has correctly pointed out, if you remember the ad, it’s not a failure. That’s the entire point. Not if my memory of the ad is “AVOID THIS!” ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/23 "2009-03-16T18:01:06Z")
The current run of HD Radio commercials has burned the indelible association “HD Radio” = “obnoxious whiny voice” into my brain. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/24 "2009-03-16T18:43:27Z")
There’s one with two astronauts hot rodding around on the Moon gathering rocks and stuff, while “I came to get down” plays in the background. The hilarious part for me is in one scene there’s actual legalese on the bottom that reads “Professional drivers on stunt course - do not attempt.” Really. I’ll be sure to remember that the next time I’m on THE MOON. ---
**Author:** ![lost4life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@lost4life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lost4life)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/25 "2009-03-16T18:55:06Z")
What are the ones where they replace the mops with some new kind of mop (Swiffer Duster?). I always feel sorry for the old mop and want to go buy one. I mean, what did the old mop ever do to you, except give you years of service and loyalty, then you coldly turn your back on him as soon as something better comes along. Then as he is desperately trying to find some small place in your life, you close the door on him. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/26 "2009-03-16T19:40:00Z")
Any commercial featuring people with food on their faces. For some reason, it just grosses me out entirely. I turn my head or leave the room and make a mental note to do it faster the next time. Right now, there’s a commercial out for Sloppy Joes that even has a line in the jingle about not minding wearing some on your face. _gag_ No! No! Bad commercial! ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/27 "2009-03-16T19:50:34Z")
> [@sachertorte](#): > > Not if my memory of the ad is “AVOID THIS!” Exactly. Granted, I’m not very likely to buy an aerodynamic-looking Audi SUV so I can look hawt picking up my kid in front of his prep school ANYWAY, but since that commercial used all the other SUV’s that look exactly the same, I doubt I’ll ever really consider buying said Audi SUV. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/28 "2009-03-16T20:01:35Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > Any commercial featuring people with food on their faces. For some reason, it just grosses me out entirely. I turn my head or leave the room and make a mental note to do it faster the next time. Right now, there’s a commercial out for Sloppy Joes that even has a line in the jingle about not minding wearing some on your face. _gag_ No! No! Bad commercial! Got milk? ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/29 "2009-03-16T20:07:05Z")
Any commercial that’s really clever but that you can’t remember “what was it about?”. The EDS “herding cats” commercial during the SuperBowl many years ago comes to mind (I remember it because I worked for EDS at the time): I remember it being really popular, but most people had no clue (or need) for what it was advertising. For that matter, the “Whaaasssssuppppppppp!” commercials that were the biggest thing of the late 90s- how many people can remember what company they were for? And of course any Public Service Announcement. My favorite was a local one: Mrs. Heflin, the equally old wife of “born old” [long out of office and only slightly less long dead] Senator Howell “Foghorn” Heflin, standing in her “rich biatch grandma wear” and saying “Sen’tor Heflin an’ I are really concerned about drugs and our young chilren today and want to encourage you if you’re a young person doin’ drugs to aiu aj v; oai8aa v ajdj aadfj zoz vjaodjf aajf zizf aqe raodj fan d afuck crack up the asaof apifj a”. I used to wonder just how many thousands of Alabama crack’n’smack addicts watched that and said “You know… she has got a point. And I believe her when she says she cares. And that’s all the difference… here, take my pipe and my needle, I won’t need them anymore, because I’m going back to school.” My guess would be the same number who’d have done so if it was absolutely any superstar doing the same PSA. ---
**Author:** ![Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uosdwis_R.Dewoh)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/30 "2009-03-16T20:12:48Z")
> [@lost4life](#): > > What are the ones where they replace the mops with some new kind of mop (Swiffer Duster?). I always feel sorry for the old mop and want to go buy one. I mean, what did the old mop ever do to you, except give you years of service and loyalty, then you coldly turn your back on him as soon as something better comes along. Then as he is desperately trying to find some small place in your life, you close the door on him. [This](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRAhyl1fC4w) commercial is for you. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/31 "2009-03-16T20:26:36Z")
Old Spite has a new version of their centaur-in-the-shower commercial. They assume we know what their new product is (Fried Wire, or something). “That’s two-thingsism!” says the angry man/beast. He’s two things, all right. The human part of him is a boy, and the horse part of him is a girl. Maybe, if I were a bisexual man/mare, I’d want to find out what two things their product is. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/32 "2009-03-16T20:36:22Z")
> [@lost4life](#): > > What are the ones where they replace the mops with some new kind of mop (Swiffer Duster?). I always feel sorry for the old mop and want to go buy one. I say the same thing to my wife each time I see one of those. “Man, what a bitch…” ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/33 "2009-03-16T20:57:08Z")
With its recent ads featuring people chanting in monosyllabic monotone while walking through a surreal, game-like landscape, Comcast has pretty much guaranteed that our household will never use that service, even if it means giving up TV and communicating by smoke signals and postcards. ETA: Can someone explain these ads to me, anyway? I’m not a complete cultural illiterate, but I don’t get about 100% of the references in there. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/34 "2009-03-16T21:01:12Z")
> [@cwthree](#): > > With its recent ads featuring people chanting in monosyllabic monotone while walking through a surreal, game-like landscape, Comcast has pretty much guaranteed that our household will never use that service, even if it means giving up TV and communicating by smoke signals and postcards. > > ETA: Can someone explain these ads to me, anyway? I’m not a complete cultural illiterate, but I don’t get about 100% of the references in there. I don’t know, since my hand automatically scrambles toward the mute button whenever I hear it come on. Same for any one of the [freecreditreport.com](http://freecreditreport.com) ads. I wish Eric Violette would go far, far away, and never return. ---
**Author:** ![filmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7993a0/32.png) [@filmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filmore)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/35 "2009-03-16T21:17:55Z")
> [@howye](#): > > As an example, I can remember Alltel’s commercials right now and even the jingle. But, the commercials do nothing to convince me their product is worthy of my time. Their actively mocking tone actually turns me away. Advertising fail. I agree about Alltel. They must be targetting the douchey smug asshole demographic with that commercial. It has the opposite affect on me. That goes for any commercial who’s message is “All other companies suck, so use us.” Tell me about why you’re great, not why the other guys suck. One big fail right now in commercials is that they don’t take DVRs into consideration. If you don’t display your company name at some time during the commercial, I won’t see as I fast-forward through it. ---
**Author:** ![ShadowFacts](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shadowfacts/32/2934_2.png) [@ShadowFacts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShadowFacts)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/36 "2009-03-16T21:20:14Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvOKl1DvJIs](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvOKl1DvJIs) > > This commercial simply doesn’t send the message it was intended to me. The commercial is all about how unique the Audi Q5 is. When I see it, though, I see an SUV that’s almost identical to all the others, except that it’s black. Seriously, I can’t really tell the difference between them. I had the exact same reaction when I saw this for the first time last night. Lame. > [@Ogre](#): > > Same for any one of the [freecreditreport.com](http://freecreditreport.com) ads. I wish Eric Violette would go far, far away, and never return. I apologize to humanity for posting this link, but just when you think they’re as bad as possible, [these feckin’ commercials just keep getting worse](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zePROTV4_9o). ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/37 "2009-03-16T21:23:00Z")
> [@ShadowFacts](#): > > I had the exact same reaction when I saw this for the first time last night. Lame. > > I apologize to humanity for posting this link, but just when you think they’re as bad as possible, [these feckin’ commercials just keep getting worse](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zePROTV4_9o). I didn’t even let the video load. I saw “Renaissance Faire” and my finger auto-twitched on the red X. ---
**Author:** ![zagloba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/977dab/32.png) [@zagloba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zagloba)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/38 "2009-03-16T22:05:40Z")
> [@cwthree](#): > > With its recent ads featuring people chanting in monosyllabic monotone while walking through a surreal, game-like landscape, Comcast has pretty much guaranteed that our household will never use that service, even if it means giving up TV and communicating by smoke signals and postcards. > > ETA: Can someone explain these ads to me, anyway? I’m not a complete cultural illiterate, but I don’t get about 100% of the references in there. It’s a _Juno_ ripoff. The animation is in the style of the opening credits while the songs are in the style of the Moldy Peaches in the soundtrack. If the ads had come out a year ago, they would have been surfing on the success of the movie. Now they’re just lame. ---
**Author:** ![Jolly\_Roger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/91b2a8/32.png) [@Jolly\_Roger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jolly_Roger)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/39 "2009-03-16T22:17:44Z")
> [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](#): > > [This](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRAhyl1fC4w) commercial is for you. I liked that commercial. But then I liked the [**old Quiznos commercials**](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6O4eECNpRm8&feature=related) with the spongmonkeys. A lot of folks hated them but I thought they were kinda cool. I can say they didn’t fail with me, I ate at Quiznos once because of them. Unfortunately I didn’t like the subs enough to eat there again. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/40 "2009-03-16T22:57:02Z")
The commercial with the talking baby advertising some sort of etrading thingy. I **HATE!!!** that commercial. Okay, so it’s bad enough it is a talking baby, then they’re doing the whole “baby is really adult” thingy, but then he gets a phone call from a girl and is talking about hooking up. The baby wants a booty call. There’s strong sexual innuendo in the ad, and all I can do is think how creepy it is for someone to be thinking about a baby as a sexual being. Ewwww. Friggin’ pedophiles at the ad agency. Then there’s the online trading commercial where they advertise having someone there to back you up, and show a helicopter. Exactly how is a helicopter going to be useful when trying to figure out your stock trades? The new Hulu commercials are so cheesy and witty they almost outweigh the fact they’re trying to promote TV shows available via the internet by repeating the concept that TV rots the brain. Almost. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562.md?page=3)