# Commercials that fail **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 15, 2009, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562 "2009-03-15T23:00:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2009, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/81 "2009-03-18T15:29:14Z")
> [@Irishman](#): > > How about commercials that tell you what they are advertising, but you’re not sure why they’re advertising it. The various ads on the alleged benefits of freight rail are a classic example. I have no idea how any specific product was shipped, and if I did my annoyance with these ads would cause me to seek out products shipped by truck, car, burro, rickshaw, or any non-rail means of transportation. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2009, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/82 "2009-03-18T15:34:22Z")
> [@Irishman](#): > > How about commercials that tell you what they are advertising, but you’re not sure why they’re advertising it. Like, “Radio is heard here. Radio is heard everywhere.” > > What is Radio advertising (on radio, of course)? Is this to counter HD radio? If so, it would be nice if they’d tell is that, because I’m likely to associate HD radio as radio, but maybe better. Or are they trying to counter TV, Internet, etc? But the ads are on radio, so it’s not like they’re reaching out to a new audience. What am I missing? I think they’re trying to counter all the newer media (Internet radio, satellite radio, iPods, etc.) that people are listening to instead of listening to traditional radio. That said, yes, to a certain extent, they’re preaching to the choir by running those ads on the radio. I think they’re not trying to reach a new audience so much as trying to keep their current audience, and hopefully get a bigger share of that audience’s listening time. I also suspect that they’re running the ads on the radio because those ads are being funded by some trade association for the radio industry, and members of the industry (i.e., radio stations) are willing to give them good prices on the airtime. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2009, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/83 "2009-03-18T15:36:26Z")
> [@Steve\_MB](#): > > The various ads on the alleged benefits of freight rail are a classic example. I have no idea how any specific product was shipped, and if I did my annoyance with these ads would cause me to seek out products shipped by truck, car, burro, rickshaw, or any non-rail means of transportation. You’re almost undoubtedly not the target for those ads. It’s highly likely that those ads (which tend to run on news programming) are targeting decision-makers for industry, and in the government. But, to reach those people, the advertisers (the railroads) wind up reaching a lot of “regular” people, too. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2009, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/84 "2009-03-18T15:46:06Z")
> [@shy\_guy](#): > > I _think_ the commercial with the redhead with the three-foot-long armpit hair is for Axe deodorant. I’m not 100% sure because the commercial makes me recoil in horror, and I’d never buy Axe anyway. I think it’s for Comcast, part of their “That’s just wrong” campaign. Commercials fail for me when they’re silly (without being funny), like Long John Silver’s and their waves crashing over people. Yeah, get me sopping wet and I’ll buy your food. I mute Billy Mays too. Not so much because of his loud voice, but because I don’t believe anything in those Ka-Boom ads. Nothing cleans that easily. On the other hand, I believe the CLR commercial, because they’re not showing miraculous results, just ordinary cleaning. (That stuff works – I’ve used it to clean hard water buildup from my coffee pot and my shower head.) ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2009, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/85 "2009-03-18T16:26:24Z")
The one with the vomiting baby is definitely a failure, especially since I now leap for the remote anytime a baby is shown in a commercial. Vomiting babies are _not_ cute. I’ve found Kaboom to be a pretty decent product; it’s good for removing soap scum with minimal scrubbing. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2009, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/86 "2009-03-18T16:41:13Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > Can I indulge in a moment of superiority over all y’all? I don’t have a TV. I only watch DVDs. > > . Where you are forced to watch commercials and PSA’s and cannot fast forward over them. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2009, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/87 "2009-03-18T17:32:13Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > But, they’ve been in enough of the U.S. for the past few years that it’s more cost-effective for them to buy advertising on national networks (albeit mostly, if not entirely, cable networks, rather than the big broadcast networks), rather than buying ad time only in those markets where they actually operate. I’ll admit that’s a better theory than “We just decided to run ads for the hell of it” although I can’t think of any other ads I’ve seen for products/services not available in the region. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2009, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/88 "2009-03-18T18:05:13Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > I’ll admit that’s a better theory than “We just decided to run ads for the hell of it” although I can’t think of any other ads I’ve seen for products/services not available in the region. I suspect that it’s just not a particularly common situation. They’re big enough that they have a significant media budget, and they’re in enough markets that a national media buy costs less than buying the individual markets in which they operate, but they still aren’t in a significant number of markets. Other “regional” products are likely either (a) in fewer markets in the first place, and / or (b) have far smaller media budgets. I do suspect that their intent to continue to expand northward fed into their decision to run ads nationally. ---
**Author:** ![apollonia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2bfe46/32.png) [@apollonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apollonia)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2009, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/89 "2009-03-18T22:26:13Z")
There was a commercial sometime, I believe, last year, for gum or mints or something. Some guy was chewing the gum or eating the mints or whatever, and sitting in a chair, and a woman walked by and _lifted up his nose and drank from his mouth like a faucet_. Oh my goodness, it was so horrifyingly disgusting I can’t even think about it without cringing. Whatever product it was for is long, long since forgotten, but that visual is stuck in my brain until the Judgment day. And perhaps beyond. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2009, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/90 "2009-03-19T19:23:11Z")
[QUOTE=shy guy] There was a similar bad one a few months ago where they were advertising some kind of body spray that smelled like chocolate (wtf?) and this guy turned into a big chocolate version of himself and sexy women ate him as he went about his day. Really creepy and gross. [/QUOTE] YES!! Completely, on both counts. Plus, the look on his face of extreme excitement is downright creepy in itself. As for Axe products, the dumb one from recently had professional male models putting on wigs and stuff to have bad hairdos, then going around trying to hit on random women. The punchline being that if these guys can’t succeed with bad hair, what chance do you have? But the thing is, it wasn’t the styling product that was at fault, but the _styles_ themselves. If your hairstyle looks like a really bad combover mullet, it doesn’t matter if you use Axe or some other brand of hair gel, it’s still a really bad combover mullet. [QUOTE=PerditaX] My brother is in advertising, and he contends that the “best” commercials are the ones for AFLAC insurance, because 1) they’re funny and watchable; 2) you remember the name of the product ; 3) you remember what the product does. [/QUOTE] Well, the yelling is a bit annoying, but yes, those three points make it highly successful. You think of supplemental insurance, you think of a duck screaming Ben’s name. Or something. 😉 [QUOTE=kenobi 65] That said, yes, to a certain extent, they’re preaching to the choir by running those ads on the radio. I think they’re not trying to reach a new audience so much as trying to keep their current audience, and hopefully get a bigger share of that audience’s listening time. [/quote] Okay, maybe, but the genericness of the ad makes it fall flat. > [@](#): > > I also suspect that they’re running the ads on the radio because those ads are being funded by some trade association for the radio industry, and members of the industry (i.e., radio stations) are willing to give them good prices on the airtime. Well, duh, that part I understood, but it doesn’t matter how economical the ad placement is if it isn’t doing anything, isn’t reaching your intended audience, isn’t getting attention. I could have all the free ad time I want on Internet billboards, but if I’m trying to reach the Amish, that’s a poor strategy. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2009, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/91 "2009-03-19T20:08:46Z")
So there’s a Geico caveman commercial where he’s playing tennis against Billie Jean King, and he thinks he’s winning but he’s really losing, and then he realizes the whole thing is sponsored by Geico so he quits. I don’t get it at all. Why does he think he’s winning in the first place? He tells Billie Jean to look at the scoreboard, which clearly shows him losing. ---
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2009, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/92 "2009-03-19T22:32:30Z")
> [@](#): > > I have quite a lengthy boycott list I’ve made of companies whose brands I won’t buy because of their idiotic ads. Over here we had one for a cleaning solution called Cillit Bang. It featured some guy \*screaming \*at you, howling at the top of his lungs, ‘HI!!! I’M BARRY SCOTT!!!’ and then something about how you should buy Cillit Bang but I don’t know what because by that time I had lunged for the remote and muted the fucker. My husband and I will never, ever, in a million billion years, buy Cillit Bang. And no, I don’t have a clue who Barry Scott is or why we should care what he thinks about cleaning. ---
**Author:** ![Ponch8](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponch8/32/9883_2.png) [@Ponch8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponch8)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2009, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/93 "2009-03-20T02:52:01Z")
> [@PerditaX](#): > > My brother is in advertising, and he contends that the “best” commercials are the ones for AFLAC insurance, because 1) they’re funny and watchable; 2) you remember the name of the product ; 3) you remember what the product does. Plus the duck is so cute. I’d rather clean that duck’s poop off 1000 cars than watch the vomiting baby commercial. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2009, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/94 "2009-03-20T08:35:54Z")
I hate them! One local chain (Bob’s) features ads that look like they were made in somebodie’s basement. There is an animated charcter (Bob) who tells you why his cheap furniture is cheaper than the other cheap furniture. All of them are peddling the same crap, made in China, of compacted sawdust. ---
**Author:** ![Critical1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Critical1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Critical1)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2009, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/95 "2009-03-20T08:46:55Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > Can I indulge in a moment of superiority over all y’all? I don’t have a TV. I only watch DVDs. > > I live in a better universe than ALL of you. \<—hasnt owned a tv in close to 20 years. sadly my roomate is one of those who often feels the tv is “background” noise ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2009, 9:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/96 "2009-03-20T09:52:31Z")
How about the current ads for Glade products that seem to hinge on your buying them because the woman in the commercials is a lying sack of crap? She’s so bad at it that she always gets caught, yet she thinks its still a secret between us: Lying idiot: “Oh no, it’s a French scented candle…from France!” Friend: “Of course it’s French! Haven’t you heard of ‘Glah-day?’” Lying idiot: "Aren’t you glad I cleaned the house while you were gone? Husband: “Don’t you mean ‘Glade?’” Etc. Why should I buy something from someone who lies to everyone, and whispers the truth to me conspiratorially? Plus, she has too many teeth, and looks like a shark when she smiles. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2009, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/97 "2009-03-20T12:31:00Z")
> [@beowulff](#): > > The repulsive ad featuring the redhead hippy chick on a bicycle with 3 foot long underarm hair. > I don’t remember what they are selling, but whatever it is, I aint buyin’. > [@AuntiePam](#): > > I think it’s for Comcast, part of their “That’s just wrong” campaign. It’s for Boost Mobile. ---
**Author:** ![Whiteknight](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whiteknight/32/4962_2.png) [@Whiteknight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whiteknight)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2009, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/98 "2009-03-20T15:22:50Z")
Toyota(?)'s “Saved by Zero” ad. /thread ---
**Author:** ![Baracus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/2bfe46/32.png) [@Baracus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baracus)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2009, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/99 "2009-03-20T15:56:09Z")
> [@Dijon\_Warlock](#): > > Why should I buy something from someone who lies to everyone, and whispers the truth to me conspiratorially? > > Plus, she has too many teeth, and looks like a shark when she smiles. To me the issue is why would you buy something that even the manufacturer feels you should be embarassed to have in your home? I find the Comcast commercials extra annoying because I live in TWC country and I have no idea where the closest place Comcast is even available might be. The barfing baby commercial is definitely bad. Really any commercial with any child trying to sell me crap is bad. Look I don’t ask my 3 year old for input on purchasing decisions, so some random kid with an awe-isn’t-that-cute speech impediment isn’t going to sway me either. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2009, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562/100 "2009-03-21T16:13:39Z")
The latest Purdue (I think) chicken commercial where he goes into the chicken coop and calls all the chickens in for inspection, as if it was a military barrack. The idea is that he does additional inspections above what the FDA requires for food safety. Except all the chickens will be killed, of course. I can’t help but think of a POW or Concentration camp where they prisoners are forced to line up for the guards before they get mass murdered. Mmmm. Chicken. ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-fail/489562.md?page=6)