# Commercials That Suck Ass, Mid-August 2006 Edition **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 13, 2006, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525 "2006-08-13T04:40:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/41 "2006-08-14T14:50:30Z")
The ad council commercials where the mom is talking to some of the Sopranos about how she has to get rid of them because _gasp_ her kid accidentally saw the show! I think it’s for the V-Chip or something, or she’s actually just getting rid of HBO. There’s another one, too, but I can’t remember what show it’s for. How about you monitor what your freakin’ kids watch, you dumb twit? I don’t know why that commercial drives me so nuts, but it does. E. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/42 "2006-08-14T15:18:03Z")
> [@Elza B](#): > > I don’t know why that commercial drives me so nuts, but it does. I know _exactly_ why those kinds of commercials bother me: because they imply that without (trumpets, please) Modern Technology, we’re incapable of effective parenting. asswipes. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/43 "2006-08-14T16:01:34Z")
[QUOTE=MsWhatsit] Oh, yeah, the filthy obnoxious (and yet charming and adorable!) kid ads drive me crazy. There was one a while back where a kid was plowing through a huge plate of some really messy food – spaghetti? BBQ ribs? I don’t remember – and throwing his soiled napkins behind him as he kept wiping off his face. Eventually there was this mountainous pile of soiled napkins on the kitchen floor. [/QUOTE] Oh, yes, any of the ones with kids making a huge mess, while Mom just smiles knowingly, because she uses whatever they’re shilling and can clean it up. I hate 'em. You know any kid making a huge mess like that is going to get yelled at, in real life. Only a Stepford Wife would just smile zombie-like at her bratty kids as they made a huge mess. ---
**Author:** ![PoorYorick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecccb3/32.png) [@PoorYorick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoorYorick)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/44 "2006-08-14T16:12:48Z")
[QUOTE=MsWhatsit] Oh, yeah, the filthy obnoxious (and yet charming and adorable!) kid ads drive me crazy. There was one a while back where a kid was plowing through a huge plate of some really messy food – spaghetti? BBQ ribs? I don’t remember – and throwing his soiled napkins behind him as he kept wiping off his face. Eventually there was this mountainous pile of soiled napkins on the kitchen floor. And I am thinking, is this a commercial for washcloths, or what? I actually have no idea what it was a commercial for. But it grossed me out. [/QUOTE] A variation of this are the ads for various cleaning products that show a little hellion despoiling a house (writing on the walls, throwing food, whatever), and when the Mom (it’s always the mom, of course) sees the results, her reaction is always an amused, slightly rueful kids-will-be-kids smile. She then gets busy using the cleaning product. What, is she a tranquilized Stepford mom? My reaction on seeing food purposely thrown on the counters and walls, on the other hand, would probably be “What the _hell_ were you thinking?!” then grabbing the little darling by the arm and marching him to his room, probably until he’s about 18 or so. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/45 "2006-08-14T16:31:31Z")
[QUOTE=PoorYorick] A variation of this are the ads for various cleaning products that show a little hellion despoiling a house (writing on the walls, throwing food, whatever), and when the Mom (it’s always the mom, of course) sees the results, her reaction is always an amused, slightly rueful kids-will-be-kids smile. She then gets busy using the cleaning product. What, is she a tranquilized Stepford mom? [/QUOTE] What, am I invisible? See above post. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/46 "2006-08-14T16:35:00Z")
[QUOTE=spooje] Actually, I was thinking she was still pretty hot for a woman of her age. [/QUOTE] Watch _Grumpier Old Men_ and tell me Charo is hotter than Sophia Loren or Ann-Margaret. I’m a straight gal, but…YOWZA!!! ---
**Author:** ![PoorYorick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecccb3/32.png) [@PoorYorick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoorYorick)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/47 "2006-08-14T16:40:36Z")
[QUOTE=BiblioCat] What, am I invisible? See above post. [/QUOTE] We’ll, you were invisible at the time, sorry. My post took about 15 minutes to update to the server for some reason. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/48 "2006-08-14T17:08:30Z")
The new Sprite commercials… (with the sublymonal crap)… yeah, that’ll help me buy/consume your procuct. The new Hardees MilkShake commercials… ---
**Author:** ![PoorYorick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecccb3/32.png) [@PoorYorick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoorYorick)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/49 "2006-08-14T17:13:01Z")
[QUOTE=simster] The new Sprite commercials… (with the sublymonal crap)… yeah, that’ll help me buy/consume your procuct. [/QUOTE] Oh, yeah, I forgot about that one. I agree, the eye-mouth is just . . . disturbing. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/50 "2006-08-14T18:02:54Z")
[QUOTE=flurb] Exactly what I came in here to mention. Not only this one, but I’ve seen two other in this vein with Burt Bacharach and Little Richard as the “celebrities”. All of whom are looking like death warmed over these days. Did Geico blow so much of their advertising budget on the CGI for the lizard that the only celebrity endorsers they can afford are cast-offs from mid-seventies _Hollywood Squares_ reruns? I expect their next commercial to feature Paul Lynde’s corpse propped up in an armchair next to Marge from Eden Prairie. [/QUOTE] That wooshy sound you’re hearing above you, I think, is the joke flying over your head. 😉 From what I understand, the whole point of the joke is that the celebrities they have helping the people tell their stories just aren’t all that impressive, as far as celebrities go, and are frankly kinda weird. Oh, and the next commercial, from what I saw on TV, was “That announcer guy from movie commercials” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/51 "2006-08-14T18:17:17Z")
[QUOTE=Raguleader] Oh, and the next commercial, from what I saw on TV, was “That announcer guy from movie commercials” 😃 [/QUOTE] I like the newest Geico commercials with the celebrities like Charo and Little Richard. They’re kinda silly. I just saw the one with the Movie Trailer Guy the other day. It was funny. “In a world…” It even had cool movie-theme music when he talked. ---
**Author:** ![flurb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/51bf81/32.png) [@flurb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flurb)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/52 "2006-08-14T18:23:18Z")
[QUOTE=Raguleader] That wooshy sound you’re hearing above you, I think, is the joke flying over your head. 😉 From what I understand, the whole point of the joke is that the celebrities they have helping the people tell their stories just aren’t all that impressive, as far as celebrities go, and are frankly kinda weird. Oh, and the next commercial, from what I saw on TV, was “That announcer guy from movie commercials” 😃 [/QUOTE] Well, I kinda get that there’s supposed to be humor in the fact that they’re using burned out celebrities, but seeing “stars” I assumed to have died decades ago mostly just makes me reflect on my own mortality. But since it’s for Geico, maybe that’s exactly what they want! ---
**Author:** ![Fugazi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f08c70/32.png) [@Fugazi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fugazi)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/53 "2006-08-14T18:23:29Z")
[QUOTE=Frostillicus] Am I the only one who cannot stand that fucking Geiko lizard and his godawful accent? That one gets me immediately turning the channel every time. :mad: [/QUOTE] Nope. I hate him too. He’s kinda cute, but the accent combined with the fact that he says some of the stupidest shit ever just pegs my Annoy-o-meter. But I can’t believe I’m the 1st to mention Burger King’s lastest effort. I don’t know what dirt BK’s ad agency has on the BK executives, but it must be really good. First there was the King. Then the Big Plucking Chicken (or whatever it was), but now we got the midgets building, what I think are called, BK stackers. Who thought this was a good idea, and can I have some of whatever it is they’re smoking? ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/54 "2006-08-14T18:30:06Z")
[QUOTE=Fugazi] Nope. I hate him too. He’s kinda cute, but the accent combined with the fact that he says some of the stupidest shit ever just pegs my Annoy-o-meter. But I can’t believe I’m the 1st to mention Burger King’s lastest effort. I don’t know what dirt BK’s ad agency has on the BK executives, but it must be really good. First there was the King. Then the Big Plucking Chicken (or whatever it was), but now we got the midgets building, what I think are called, BK stackers. Who thought this was a good idea, and can I have some of whatever it is they’re smoking? [/QUOTE] Hey, anything that gets Tattoo back on TV is good advertising… and they preffer to be called “little people”. “Fresh Delivery of Hot Buns!” I like the one with the chicken(s) brow beating the other chicken for hanging out with the fries… ---
**Author:** ![Broken\_Wind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Broken\_Wind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broken_Wind)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/55 "2006-08-14T20:24:40Z")
The Dunkin’ Donuts one where the Mom/child in the back seat of the mini-van yell “KARATEEEEEEE!” I think it’s for Coolattas or something. Jesus, that annoys the living piss out of me. Fingernails on a chalkboard would be soothing compared to this. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/56 "2006-08-14T20:43:12Z")
[QUOTE=Lissa] bovine benevloence [/QUOTE] Band name! > [@Raguleader](#): > > Oh, and the next commercial, from what I saw on TV, was “That announcer guy from movie commercials” That one was funny. Something Fontaine? Anyway, I don’t watch much TV, as I’ve never gotten around to getting cable or satellite hooked up. Besides, watching TV would take time away from the SDMB! But this last Friday-Saturday I was house-sitting for my sister, who doesn’t have an Internet connection :eek: And so I spent the weekend with my brain turning to Jell-O, watching TV. Good grief! Who knew there were so many wonderful things I could get by texting one-word messages to 5-digit numbers? What’s that? Ten downloads for only $9.99? Wowza! But the commercial I hated the most was the Old Navy commercial that shows people partying on somebody’s front lawn, with confetti, ticker tape, and balloons flying everywhere, and some dweeb who I suppose is supposed to look cool and trendy telling me, “Don’t be an Irwin, be a winner!”. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Love](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Dr.Love](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Love)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/57 "2006-08-14T20:51:46Z")
There’s a local political commercial that’s particularly bad. I can’t find a video online, but it says: > [@](#): > > Hogwash? What is hogwash? > Hogwash is absurdadity, baloney, bull, bunk, [long list of synonyms in alphabetical order] and Proposition 204. That’s right, Proposition 204. It’s hogwash. No informational content at all. Makes me want to vote for 204, just to spite the commercial. If anyone is wondering, 204 is the “Humane Treatment of Farm Animals Act,” that would, “make it a class 1 misdemeanor to tether or confine a pig during pregnancy or a calf raised for veal on a farm for all or the majority of a day in a manner that prevents the animal from lying down and fully extending its limbs or turning around freely.” (From the Arizona Legislative Council analysis) ---
**Author:** ![hawksgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ed655f/32.png) [@hawksgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawksgirl)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/58 "2006-08-14T20:56:31Z")
[QUOTE=Dr. Love] If anyone is wondering, 204 is the “Humane Treatment of Farm Animals Act,” that would, “make it a class 1 misdemeanor to tether or confine a pig during pregnancy or a calf raised for veal on a farm for all or the majority of a day in a manner that prevents the animal from lying down and fully extending its limbs or turning around freely.” (From the Arizona Legislative Council analysis) [/QUOTE] Just out of curiousity, under that would farrowing crates still be allowed, especially toward the end of pregnancy? ---
**Author:** ![mrrealtime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@mrrealtime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrrealtime)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/59 "2006-08-14T20:58:58Z")
the ad I hate the most right now is the m&m’s ad where people are jumping up to get m&ms thrown magically into their mouth and some poor shlub gets the m&m’s cutey characters thrown at him. Its not so much the visuals, on mute its just a regular effexy ad…but that GOD AWFUL music…sounds like all the horrible screams of hell or something, and since commercials have to be 40%louder than the regular programming, if I dont make it to the mute button in time when that ad comes on, its just awful! ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/60 "2006-08-14T21:07:57Z")
The ones that bug me are the infomercials for products that the average moron can use to replace some low tech gadget that they are incapable of using. Examples - the new chopper thingie shows how easy it is to use their product compared to moronic woman mushing up a tomato with a knife. Or the moronic woman who can’t sweep and then mop, she just makes a muddy mess on the floor. If you’re too stupid to cut up a tomato, I don’t think the new chopper gizmo is for you. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525.md?page=4)